Ways to Say More

Many people seem to be born superstars talk like that. They can quickly tell stories and make jokes as light as they can. But for those who are quiet or introverted, finding the courage to talk may not seem easy. However, no matter what type of person you are, you can practice to not only speak more, but also be charismatic, and you will become a better conversationalist. Learn how to initiate and sustain a conversation, whether speaking to a person, a group, or giving a speech in class.

Table of Contents

Start a conversation

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Start a conversation with something you know both of you can talk about. The biggest obstacle that prevents us from starting a conversation is the fear that when we approach someone, we open our mouth and suddenly find we have nothing to say. Fortunately, there are a few simple ways that can help you choose a topic that both parties can talk about comfortably.

Consider the situation. If you’re in class with the other person, you can always start with what’s happening in class. If you’re both at a party, talk about the party. You don’t need to say anything complicated, just a sentence like “How do you see this neighborhood?” Also a way to open up a conversation.
Never approach a stranger and start a conversation with awkward flirting or jokes. While not exactly “rude,” asking how much a polar bear weighs won’t give you a chance to chat and will only push you into a dead end.

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Remember the “FORM” rule. FORM is an acronym for English words used in speaking classes, helping you remember topics that are always relevant to start a conversation and suggestions for raising those topics. , whether talking with someone you know or just met. Here is the golden rule for choosing the opening sentence: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Motivation. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Family
- “How is your mother these days?” or “How are your parents these days?”
- “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” or “Are your siblings close?”
- “What was your best/worst family vacation?”
Job
- “His profession?” or “Do you like your new job?”
- “What’s the hardest thing about your job?” or “What was the most enjoyable thing you did last week?”
- “How are your colleagues?”
pastimes
- “What do you usually do for fun?” or “Do you have any fun around here?”
- “How long have you been living here?”
- “How often do you join a group?”
Motivation
- “What do you like to do after school?” or “Do you think you’ll do it long-term? What’s your dream job?”
- “Later on you want to do?”

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Ask open-ended questions. The key to opening a conversation is to give people an opportunity to talk and respond to them. This is the secret to helping you talk more, not just brag about yourself. Open-ended questions give people an opportunity to open up, give you plenty of ideas to respond, and keep the conversation going. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Open-ended questions can also be used to follow closed answers. If you ask “How are you?”, a quiet person might answer “I think it’s fine,” ask “What are you doing today?”, followed by “It went like this.” how?” Encourage them to talk.
Open-ended questions often prompt an opinion. You cannot answer an open-ended question with a “yes” or “no”. Don’t ask closed questions like “What’s your name?” or “Do you come here often?” Such questions will lead to nothing to say.

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Recall previous conversations. Sometimes talking to someone you know a little bit more difficult than talking to strangers. If you already know someone’s family and some details, you can recall past conversations to find follow-up questions to see what’s new with them:

“What are you doing today?” or “What have you been doing since we last met?”
“How’s the project you worked on at school? Was it successful?”
“The vacation photos you posted on Facebook are so beautiful. How was your trip?”

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Practice listening skills along with speaking skills. People who are good at talking are not those who talk endlessly. If you want to talk more, it is important that you practice listening well and not just waiting for your turn to speak.

Make eye contact with the other person and use open body language. Nod when you agree and focus on the conversation. Follow up with sentences like “Oh, that’s great. Then what then?” or “So how was it in the end?”
Really listen and respond to what the other person has to say. You should repeat their words, such as “I understand…” or “I think you mean…”
You should never try to say more just by talking over the other person or responding to what they just said by talking about yourself over and over again. Listen and respond.

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Read the other person’s body language for clues. There are people who simply don’t want to talk, and it won’t help if you keep trying to talk to them. Pay attention to the person’s closed and distracting body language. It is better to focus your speaking skills on others.

Closed body language includes gestures such as looking over the head of the person talking and glancing around the room as if looking for a way out. Closed or crossed arms are also sometimes a sign of closed body language, similar to leaning shoulders toward you or away from you. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Open body language includes expressions such as leaning forward, making eye contact, and listening to the other person speak.

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Smile. An important part of conversation is expressed through nonverbal language. People like to talk to people who are cheerful, open, and seem friendly. You can encourage the other person to talk and connect with you by showing open body language and smiling. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

You don’t have to grin like an idiot! Just be happy, even if you don’t feel comfortable. Don’t frown or grimace. Raise your eyebrows, lift your chin, and smile.

Chat with a person

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Find open doors in the dialogue. This will be easy if you’re dealing with chatty people; But even for the reserved, you can find doors to other topics by finding personal connections that can lead to things both of you can talk about. This is an art, but there are some tips to help you develop this skill.

Ask for their bio on a particular topic. If the other person mentions running, ask how long they’ve been running, how much they like the sport, where they usually run, and other running-related questions.
Ask the other person’s opinion on a certain issue. If the person you’re talking to mentions they worked at a famous bakery in high school, ask how the bakery was. Ask them to tell the story.
Always continue the story. You can follow up with the other person’s brief answer by asking, “Why?” or “How was it?” Smile to show that you’re not nosy, but just interested and curious about what they have to say.

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Don’t be afraid to dive into the story. People love to talk about themselves, so don’t be afraid to ask for their opinion and learn a little about what they’re thinking. Some people with a reserved nature may be shy, but there are many who like to share their thoughts with curious people.

You can go back to the past and say, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, I was just curious.”

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Say what you’re thinking. Don’t be silent while thinking about the answer. Just start by repeating what the other person just said and respond spontaneously. If you’re a shy person, you probably think too much before you speak, but usually if you “censor” yourself less and allow yourself to speak more freely, the results are the same, or even better. .

Many people fear that what they say “sounds silly” or “inappropriate,” but this anxiety often leads to unnatural speech patterns and awkward moments in conversation. If you want to say more, practice responding quickly, even if you’re not quite sure what you’re going to say.

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Don’t be afraid to change the subject. Sometimes a topic ends up running out for a while, and is followed by an awkward silence. If there’s nothing left to say on that topic, don’t be afraid to move on, even if it’s unrelated to the other topic.

Suppose when two people are drinking and talking about football, but the football story starts to end, you can pick up a glass of wine and ask, “How do you like this wine? This glass of wine is mixed with what I forgot?” Talk about alcohol for a while while you think about another topic.
Talk about things you’re interested in and things you’re knowledgeable about. Often you will attract people when you talk about topics you are knowledgeable about, at least to those who are interested.

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Keep track of current affairs. When the story is about to reach the point where there is nothing left to say, the current events, frequently asked topics, and hot issues that you raise will be topics that the other person may have heard about and you will Find common ground between the two.

You don’t even need to know much about the subject you’re talking about. You can ask questions like “Have you heard of the congressional debate? I haven’t heard the details yet.”
Avoid falling into the way of “teaching life” to others. You should never assume that the other person knows nothing about a subject, whether vague or specific; otherwise, your actions seem condescending.

Talk in groups

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Speak loudly. If you’re not good at talking to one person, talking in groups will be even more of a challenge. But if you want your voice to be heard, one of the most important things you can do is use a volume that’s easy for everyone to hear.

People with a reserved nature are also often quiet and introverted. Large groups tend to favor people who are outgoing and loud, which means you’ll have to adjust to the group environment.
Try this trick: Raise the volume to the level of the other voices in the group, but then lower it back to normal talking when everyone is listening. That way, you won’t have to try acting anymore. Let them come to you, not the other way around.

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Don’t wait until everyone is quiet. Sometimes talking in groups is like playing Frogger: You stand in the middle of a busy road and try to find an opening that never appears. But the secret of this game is that you have to rush. Moments of silence are never obvious, if any, so it’s important to take the risk of interrupting someone’s words instead of waiting for everyone to be silent before speaking up.

Try not to interrupt others by talking over them; You should start with phrases like “So…” or “Wait…” or even “I have something to say,” and wait for them to finish. You will have the opportunity to speak up without having to completely overwhelm them.

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Use body language to show that you want to speak. If you have something to say, look at the person speaking, lean forward, and use open body language to show that you are engaged in the conversation and want to speak. Maybe they will give you the forum by asking for your opinion if you are willing to speak.

If you feel overwhelmed, you can sometimes get discouraged and withdraw, but that will only make it difficult for you to talk, and people won’t realize that you want to talk.

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State another opinion. Group stories can quickly become boring if everyone just says the same thing. So, if you need to, it’s good to play the “villain” from time to time. If you don’t agree with the group’s opinion, try gently voicing the opposite opinion.

Remember to soften disagreements with opening sentences like “My perspective is a little different, but…” or “Your ideas are great, but I disagree.”
You don’t have to accept another person’s idea or point of view just to say it, especially if you don’t have a reason to defend it. But if you disagree with something, feel free to speak up. Conversations are not punishment sessions for dissent.

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Talk to one person privately, if necessary. Some people struggle to communicate in large groups but are very good at talking to one person alone. This is very normal. A study on human personality has shown that, based on better ability to chat in groups or to talk to one person alone, people often fall into one of two groups, that is duo group and group group. triangle. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Duos often find it difficult to talk in a large group of people. If you want to talk to someone but find it difficult to have three or more people, pull them aside to talk. Then you can talk to each person in the group. That way, you’re still in your comfort zone and aren’t seen as rude because you spend time talking to everyone.

Speech in school

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Prepare your speech in advance. Speaking in front of a class is a whole different story; and what is considered unnatural in everyday conversation is sometimes very appropriate in a classroom setting. A good example is group discussions, where it’s absolutely a good idea to write down and prepare ideas that you want to share with the class.

In general, it can be difficult to remember the problem you think about while reading in class or the questions about your homework in math class, so make a note of it and bring it to class next time. There’s nothing wrong with bringing a “script” to school.

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Make a question. The best way to contribute to class is to ask questions. Whenever you don’t understand something or feel that something is unclear, raise your hand and ask. As a general rule, for every time a student does not understand, there are five other students who dare not raise their hands to ask. Be the brave one among them.

Ask only questions that are beneficial to the group or relevant to the group as a whole. Questions like “Why did I only get a B for this lesson?” in this case is not suitable.

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Agree with other students’ opinions. If in a group discussion you can’t find anything to say, there is always an opportunity for you to “follow” the opinions of other classmates, so you also have a contribution, although in reality, Are not.

Wait for someone to say a good-sounding statement and then add “I agree,” then paraphrase it in your own words. What an easy way to make a statement.

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Re-express. Get in the habit of repeating what you just heard and putting it back in your own words. This is a great way to contribute ideas in class without having to come up with new ideas. Of course it will be better if you add a little bit of your opinion to meet the teacher’s requirements.

If someone says, “I think this book is about family relationships and the bad things they’re hiding,” paraphrase that and add something, such as: “I agree. We can see the authoritarian nature of the father-son relationship in this novel, especially the downfall of the main character.”
Emphasize by giving examples. Find a quote or detail from the book that illustrates what someone else has just said.

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Set a goal of contributing at least one opinion per session. In general, you don’t have to be the loudest person in the class, just say enough to make your presence known. To do so, you usually need to speak at least once in each class session. That way you also avoid being called by the teacher when the whole class is silent. Prepare your ideas, speak, then sit down and listen.

Advice

Do something that makes you feel good. Dress decently, put on nice makeup, brush your teeth and chew gum. Put on perfume or anything that makes you more confident!
Don’t rehearse what you’re going to say. Don’t write down your words, and don’t worry about every word you’re about to say, or else you won’t have anything left to say in your head.
Just let the story unfold. Talk about things around you or everyday stories and use your freedom of speech.
Try to be yourself, be friendly and have fun.

Warning

Don’t talk to people who seem unfriendly just to show you’re good; They may be kind, but they may not be.
If you’re an introvert, just enjoy your life – don’t try to change too much. Be true to your nature.
Quiet and introverted people should not try to change based on the suggestions in this article.

Steps