How to Reply to a Guy’s Flirting Texts

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This article was co-written by Julianne Cantarella. Julianne Cantarella is a relationship consultant, life coach, social worker, CEO and president of New Jersey’s Matchmaker. With over ten years of experience, she specializes in helping women heal emotional wounds and build a long, healthy relationship. Julianne is the creator of a comprehensive dating training program called From First Date to Soulmate™ that has helped hundreds of women find a life partner. She holds a bachelor’s degree in social work from Ramapo University, New Jersey, and a master’s degree in social work from Fordham University. Julianne has contributed content to numerous publications such as Your Tango Online Magazine, 24Seven Wellness Magazine and Talk of The Town Magazine. She has also been featured as a love consultant on CBS, iHeartRadio and PBS channels “This Emotional Life Project.”

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A guy just sent a flirty text and it’s your turn to reply. So, how to maintain his sense of interest? We all know how hard it is to be cute, funny, and flirty with someone over text. Today’s wikiHow puts together a list of responses that you can copy and paste (or edit for personalization) to send to a guy. Whether you’re looking to be cute, sexy, mischievous, or outspoken, read on for inspiration for your next message.

This article is based on an interview with relationship coach and licensed social worker – Julianne Cantarella.

Table of Contents

Tease him to create excitement.

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Make the conversation interesting with a bit of competition. When you get a flirty text from a guy, you’ll know right away that he’s interested in you! A little teasing will make the other person guess if you feel the same way as him. Make them stand still to create attraction. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If the person compliments you on your strengths, create a bit of a friendly competitive atmosphere. For example: “You look like you can run fast too, don’t you? But I’m… you’ll have a hard time keeping up with me.”
If he compliments you on one of the physical aspects, compliment him back, but add a little challenge. Example: “Your hands look good too. But I bet you’ll still win if the two of us do arm wrestling.” or “You’re cute, too. But I don’t like guys who are cuter than me.”
Mention something he likes but isn’t overly important or emotionally charged. Then say, “That’s why we can never date” and add a winking emoji. For example: “Do you like mixed moon cakes? That’s why we won’t be able to date.”
Hint that you know a secret about him. For example: “I think I know someone has a crush on you?!” ^{[2] X Research Source}

Answer with a funny joke.

Answer in a short, playful way.

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Sending a sarcastic reply to soften the message may seem a bit overwhelming. Even if he’s being a bit overzealous or sending unwanted sexual content, you can maintain an atmosphere of potential flirtation and at the same time quell the bad stuff. Soften these messages by adding a winking emoji to let him know you’re joking. Here are a few texts that you can refer to to keep him from going too far:

If the guy texted: “I want to see you” or “When can I see you?”, reply: “Go to my Instagram”. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
If he texted, “Tell me what kind of person you want me to be,” you could send something realistic to the point of practicality like this: “Financial support, fluent in 5 languages and own house at the age of 25”.
To messages like “I was thinking about you…” or “I miss you…”, you should respond confidently, “I’m not surprised by that.” ^{[5] X Research Sources}
If he says, “Say something hot,” respond immediately, “The kettle is boiling.”
If he asks, “Do you have a bear?”, you can wittily text him, “Yes, much more!”
If he asks you to send him “hot photos,” send him a cup of hot tea.

Send flirty compliments.

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Imitate his compliments. We tend to like someone more when the other person reflects the same behavior. ^{[6] X Research Source} If he sends you flirty compliments, respond kindly. If he compliments you sincerely, you should honestly compliment him back. Even if the messages are sincere, don’t be afraid to add a little humor.

“You think I’m cute? Actually, he’s not that bad.”
“I think we will get along very well. Your taste is very good.” ^{[7] X Research Source} If the guy asks: “Why?”, answer: “Because I also like food ;).”
“He’s also very handsome. But unfortunately, I don’t like guys who are cuter than me.”
“I was a bit distracted today because I kept thinking about your impressive image yesterday.” ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Hint at interesting old things when he compliments you.

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Make the guy work hard to get information about you. You can start by telling an interesting story about the problem he just complimented. Then don’t rush to tell the ending to make him feel like talking to you more. ^{[9] X Research Source} The goal here is not to be mysterious, more importantly to give him a reason to talk to you on the phone or in person instead of just texting. ^{[10] X Research Source}

If he compliments you on how pretty you look in your social media photos, say, “Thank you! It was a great night!”, then added: “I’ll tell you later, if… you’re lucky ;)”.
If you’re not sure how to respond to a flirty text, the ending can be a lifesaver: “The most unbelievable thing just happened… I’ll tell you later.”
Use this tactic to naturally ask for a meeting: “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you sometime when we meet.”

Respond honestly.

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Thank him sincerely for the compliments and say something sweet. Show that you appreciate what the other person has to say, as well as the effort he is putting into the conversation. Being yourself and being nice helps a lot, especially when you’re trying to figure out if you’re really comfortable with someone.

“Thank you! That is so sweet.”
“I’m sure I’ll be happy all day today.”
“My friends will ask me why I blush.” ^{[11] X Research Source}
If you’re trying to divert the conversation away from compliments, change the subject by asking a question and talking about something else. Example: “Thanks! Do you have any interesting plans this weekend?”

Send him a cute text letting him know that you care.

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Spread a feeling of warmth and romance. If this guy is a match for you and really suits you, you should let him know. ^{[12] X Research Source} Say that you enjoyed spending time with him and would like to see him more often.

“My phone has 5% battery left but I still want to text you.”
“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” ^{[13] X Research Source}
“I just watched a horror movie. Scared! I wish someone hugged me right now…” ^{[14] X Research Source}
“This meal would be so much more fun if you were here.” ^{[15] X Research Source}

Share pictures of what you plan to do.

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Update regularly and show him that you know how to have fun. This approach is great if the guy’s flirty text doesn’t yield a lot of information so you can reply directly. Whether it’s out with friends or relaxing at home for the evening, send in a snapshot of the action or surroundings. Just refrain from sending pictures of yourself unless you’ve both talked and are comfortable with it. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Send a photo of the restaurant you’re dining at, the sunset or whatever, and say, “I wish you were here with me.”
Take a photo of the chair or bench next to you with the text: “I saved this chair for you. Where are you?” ^{[17] X Research Source}
Send him a picture of the activity you’re doing and say, “Would you like to try it with me sometime?”

A flirty description of what you’re doing.

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Casually paints a compelling picture of you through texting. Make him think of you and light up his imagination. The key here is to be subtle and not overdo it. Even if you feel comfortable sending clear messages, the other person can still be awkward with it. So, keep things light and subtle from now on. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

If he asks you what you’re up to, this can help: “I’ll change my style to be more attractive before going out with my friends.”
If you reply late, text: “Sorry I didn’t see the message. I just have a shower.”
When he asks what you’re doing at night, try texting, “I just got home from work. You know what I’m thinking…” You can continue the story with silly, serious or sexy content depending on your mood and the other person’s comfort level.

Politely decline unwanted flirty messages.

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Be honest and let the person know if you feel uncomfortable. Even if you like him, it’s okay to put limits on the type of messages you want to receive. If this guy makes you feel really uncomfortable then don’t necessarily reply, but you should also say outright that you don’t like receiving such messages.

If he’s texting too much and rushing, say, “I want to get to know you better before we start flirting like this.” Remember to add a smiley or “haha” to downplay the severity.
If you’re simply not interested, just say it out loud: “I think you’re really good. I think you’ll meet that special someone soon, it’s just that it’s not me.”
If you feel uncomfortable, end the conversation or change the subject: “I don’t really like this topic. Can we talk otherwise?”

Stay away from short messages.

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Short messages don’t show much effort or care. This way of texting a man shows a low level of romantic feelings, even though he may want to have sex with you. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you deserve someone who is polite enough to put effort into conversation, phone calls, and even face-to-face meetings. If you start to receive short messages, leave and spend time on the more precious things in life.

Upgrade your messaging conversation.

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Schedule a phone or video call. Once you’ve gotten to know each other to the point where texting doesn’t end, use the call as a springboard for a face-to-face date. Texting alone won’t be enough to give a full picture of a person, and you won’t know if you two could ever end up dating. However, phone calls and video chats can give you hints about the other person’s voice and expressions.

“I text very slowly. Would you like to make a quick call?”
“I was impressed with your cute little eyes. Can you video call?”
“I’ve been staring at the screen all day today. Would you like to make a phone call?”
“I have something to tell you, but I’m too lazy to text. Can we have a video call?”

Plan a date and text him ideas.

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Tell him about something interesting. Then ask if he wants to try it with you. This will help release the pressure of asking for an appointment. After all, maybe he’s too shy to initiate the plan, so you can be the one to break the endless texting back and forth by giving him the green light. ^{[19] X Research Source}

“Hey, I heard that Den Vau is about to hold a live show. Do you want to go see it?”
“Look what I got: kebabs, beer and a great drinking buddy – me. Would you like to stop by my place for a drink?”
“I have never been to a live football match. Are you sure you’re excited? Can you take me to see it?”
“Have you tried the newly opened coffee shop next to the company? I’m going to go. Want to come along?”

Steps