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This article was co-written by Jin S. Kim, MA. Jin Kim is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ people, people of color, and people who have difficulty reconciling intersecting gender identities. Jin received his master’s degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles in 2015, with a major in LGBT Confirmation Psychology.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,472 times.
No need to assume or consider many stereotypes, the truth is that in this world, there are quite a few wives who feel that they are not loved as they desire and deserve. Maybe they really lack love, but often this feeling is because their husbands don’t know how to show love. If you want to make your wife feel loved, you should use actions and attitudes that help demonstrate that you know her well, appreciate her, make her a priority, and want to do things. can make her feel beautiful, valued, and heard.
Steps
Love Her By Knowing Her (and Yourself)
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You can get different advice, but remember to trust your instincts. There are many websites dedicated to teaching how you can make the special woman in your life feel beautiful, appreciated, and loved – including this article, of course. write this. However, you should remember that you are not trying to make some generic “woman” feel loved, but the one-of-a-kind in the world, your wife.
- Many women like to receive lots of gifts, others are happier with the money you have saved in the grocery bill. Some people like to be treated like queens, others want to receive absolute equality. You should see the advice in this article as a guide, not a guarantee, that you will win her heart.
- Also, keep in mind that this article will mainly be consulted by husbands who are looking for ways to make their wives feel more loved, some general information about the role in marriage and especially. The gender score will probably appear in a few steps. However, you can make extensive use of almost any of the following advice in your particular situation.
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Show her that you know her well. You’ll find plenty of advice saying you should give her flowers, but you know well that she’d rather enjoy a big piece of cheesecake than flowers. As a husband, you know her better than anyone (hopefully), and one of the best ways to make her feel loved is to prove it.
- Dr. John Gottman, who is quite famous in this field, has talked about “raising the map of love” in love. [1] X Sources of Research Basically, this means learning about each other’s worlds (history, current interests, hopes and dreams, etc.) to strengthen the bond between the two. If your map of her world is lacking in many details, you should try to be more open-minded and interested in listening and learning. The other section in this article will help you get going.
- Think about the activities and experiences that have made your wife the happiest. Take notes if needed. If she loves adventure, make this a priority. If her simple joy is sitting together on the couch, do it.
- In many cases, you will probably know her better than she knows herself. So don’t always just do what she wants you to do so she can feel loved. Listen, observe, learn, review your time together, and do whatever you know will make her feel loved.
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Use her language. The concept of the “five love languages” has become quite common in the problem and solution of romantic relationships. [2] X Research Source Usually, it’s not that you (the husband) don’t try to show love, but the way you show it (“your language”) isn’t interpreted. the right way by your wife.
- Based on this concept, the five languages of love include: affirmative words; the act of demonstrating an obligation; receive gifts; quality time; and physical contact. The theory here is that each person receives love primarily from one of these five languages. For example, the “language” wife of quality time will feel more loved from an outdoor picnic than you would help her clean her car (an act of obligation) or buy flowers for her (receiving gifts).
- Again, you need to take advantage of your past experience, experience, and unique bond with your wife. Think about the method of expression that is most enthusiastically received by her, and re-express your love based on her “native language”. Even if you don’t really believe that we all fit into one of these five “love languages,” a thorough analysis of the most effective type of love expression for your wife will be of help to you.
Show Acts of Love
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Do the little things. Big gestures – a surprise trip to Paris, a dream kitchen, a diamond necklace – are sure to help you express your love in some way. However, they are similar to a dose of “adrenaline for love” that only works for a short time. Every day, small gestures of affection and gratitude will provide the energy needed to sustain the relationship in the long run. [3] X Research Sources
- Can you make her feel loved by helping her take out the trash without waiting for her to ask, volunteering to take the kids to soccer practice, or washing the dishes right before she gets the chance? Assembly to touch them? You might be surprised at how much power these simple everyday activities can do to make her feel valued in a relationship. [4] X Research Sources
- Let her know that you are thinking about her all the time. Write a small message to her in the morning. Send her a reminder with words of encouragement before she has to give a presentation at work. Don’t just remember her birthday – remember her mom’s birthday too. Some actions can help others feel more loved than actually believing that the person you love is thinking about you in that moment. [5] X Research Sources
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Surprise her. Yes, of course a trip to Paris and a diamond necklace will make her feel loved. But surprise doesn’t have to be something big to be joyful and to show love.
- Set up a special date with her without notice. Make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, buy a ticket to a show, call a babysitter, or even surprise her with a limo ride if you want. Put a new pair of earrings that you know she’ll love in bed. From time to time, pursue and flirt with her like you did before marriage. [6] X Research Sources
- Especially if your wife responds strongly with “quality time”, sometimes just a little extra effort will pay off. [7] X Research Source Sometimes it’s better to put aside your desk work and go home a little early just to be with her. Go for a walk, cook together, or do whatever comes to mind during this unexpected free time. Of course, there are quite a few responsibilities at work and at home that you have to do, but let’s be a little “irresponsible” to spend some alone time with her. [8] X Research Sources
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Make her feel that she is beautiful. All women (and even men) want the person they love to make them feel that they are quite attractive. Never think like she knows you’ve been feeling pretty to her since the day you married her – tell her. And say many times. [9] X Research Source
- Don’t get caught looking at other women, as this can send a bad message. It’s important that you allow her to discover that you’re constantly looking at her. Let her feel that you’re looking at her as she tries on that new dress, or even when she’s nervous about it. If it’s the right time (preferably not in public) and you know she’ll appreciate it, go ahead and whistle her flirting.
- Never compare her appearance with another woman in a negative way, or even with an old photo of her. She clearly understands that over time, some part of her body has changed shape or position. You should let her know that even now, you still find her very beautiful.
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Prioritize her through action. “Women and children first” may be an outdated concept in many areas, but prioritizing your wife’s needs is essential. You can do anything in your power to reduce her burden. Love isn’t easy, and you won’t get it without hard work or sacrifice. [10] X Research Source
- Although the concept of “old gentleman” such as holding doors and pulling chairs may or may not elicit appreciation from the other party, gestures clearly demonstrate attention, respect, and affection. Your feelings will be recognized by her. Everything depends entirely on how you present your efforts. Don’t help her carry her shopping cart into the house or fill her car with gas just because you think she can’t do them. Help her do these chores to make her day a little easier. And you should act with a smile, not with a grumble.
- Especially if your wife’s “love language” is more of an “act of duty”, trying to prioritize her needs and comforts first will be a very effective method. [11] X Research Source You will also be able to win her admiration, and it will be easier for her to feel loved by someone she admires. [12] X Research Source
Creating a Loving Environment
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Listen attentively to her. Not all women are the same, and sometimes, your wife will want you to sit down from time to time and listen to their rants, complaints, brags, gossip, enthusiasm, questions, or simply chat with her. [13] X Research Source
- Dr. John Gottman advises couples to “face each other” in a more symbolic sense, but this is also the first step to being able to truly listen to each other. [14] X Research Source Pay attention to your wife when she wants to talk. Maintain eye contact. Turn off the TV. Put the phone away. Listen more than talk, unless she’s looking for feedback. Knowing that someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say is a pretty amazing feeling, no matter how mundane and silly it may be.
- Listen without trying to fix things. Sometimes your wife, just like any other person, just wants to be heard. For example, she wants to share and solve problems with her co-workers, and what she needs is to see the face of her supporter, not the way she wants you. phoned her agency the next day to “resolve the conflict”. Attention is often the best way to show empathy, and this is crucial in dealing with problems that arise both inside and outside the marriage. [15] X Research Source
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Be strong enough to allow yourself to be weak and need help. The common stereotype in today’s society is the image of a patient and tough husband and a wife who is always ready to use her “motherly instincts” to care for her husband (if he “opens his heart to me”). ” with her). However, no matter how accurate (or completely inaccurate) this image is in your situation, breaking down your defenses and allowing your wife to come into life is sure to help. is the act of being interpreted as a sign of love. [16] X Research Source
- If she wants to pamper you a little when you’re sick, allow her (without taking advantage); If she wants to know how you feel after your mother dies, talk to her about them. Allow her to swap places with you. Don’t hesitate to cry; This is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Take responsibility for showing courage in being open, honest, and vulnerable. She’s not marrying you because you’re the perfect guy. She didn’t always want to see the knight in armor; At least every now and then, she wants you to remove your armor. Show her the real you, and trust that this person will make her feel loved. [17] X Research Source
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Set an example for the kids if you have one. If you have children, they can become the core center of her self-awareness and goals, possibly even in a way that makes you feel like you’re not their father. Regardless of any change in perception of a “good” mother or father, becoming a loving, caring, and caring parent will always be one of the best ways to show your love. you to your wife.
- Think of your children as an extended version of your wife, because in many ways they are. In fact, they are appendages to both of you, a new realm of “shared meaning” that can bring the two together. [18] X Research You should make them feel loved, and she will feel it too. Try talking to a few widows and see how many will say something like “he’s a good father” as one of their first compliments.
- Show your kids how much you appreciate your wife so they learn this too. Compliment your wife in front of your children. Respect her. Tell her she’s beautiful, and give her gifts in the presence of your kids, or allow them to help you with this. [19] X Research Source
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Say “I love you” sincerely, and act on what you say. These three simple words, if exploited properly, can always make any person feel loved. If “affirmative words” are your wife’s official “love language,” this phrase will be even more essential. [20] X Research Source
- Saying “I love you” while rushing out the door to go to work is also a pretty good act, and will often be appreciated by the other person. However, you should also remember to stop every now and then, look her in the eye, and say “I love you”.
- Say this when you’re feeling happy, when you’re sad, when you’re frustrated, or at a time of ups and downs in your life. You should show her that you always love her no matter the circumstances.
Advice
- Be truth.
- Give her a kiss, even if she doesn’t expect it.
- Don’t always expect your partner to reciprocate your love. You should give without expecting anything in return.
Warning
- This is not a guide for you to win every woman’s heart! Everyone is different and has different views on love.
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This article was co-written by Jin S. Kim, MA. Jin Kim is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ people, people of color, and people who have difficulty reconciling intersecting gender identities. Jin received his master’s degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles in 2015, with a major in LGBT Confirmation Psychology.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,472 times.
No need to assume or consider many stereotypes, the truth is that in this world, there are quite a few wives who feel that they are not loved as they desire and deserve. Maybe they really lack love, but often this feeling is because their husbands don’t know how to show love. If you want to make your wife feel loved, you should use actions and attitudes that help demonstrate that you know her well, appreciate her, make her a priority, and want to do things. can make her feel beautiful, valued, and heard.
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