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This article was co-written by Wits End Parenting. Wits End Parenting is a parenting company based in Berkeley, California that works with children with mood swings, emotional difficulties, listening difficulties, and aggressive attitudes. Wits End Parenting experts use a positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s personality, providing lasting results, eliminating the need to devise new strategies for educating parents. their children.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,462 times.
Children seem to enjoy life more than adults. But that doesn’t mean it’s all just fun and games. Sometimes children also fall into a state of sadness. As a parent or guardian, it’s up to you to figure out what’s wrong and help your child feel better. Start by talking about the problem your child is having, then find ways to cheer them up and make them happy with short-term and long-term solutions.
Steps
Start a conversation with your child
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Ask the child what the problem is. If your child is sad, you probably feel anxious too. Children who are upset may cry, sulk, separate, or generally act out of sorts, which is alarming to parents. There are many reasons why children feel sad, start by asking them what is bothering them.
- Don’t shy away from talking about troublesome situations. If someone in the family dies, gets divorced or separated, acknowledge and answer any questions the child has. [1] X Trusted Source Penn State Extension Go to Source
- Some children have difficulty expressing feelings in words. Be patient, and keep asking questions until you figure out what the problem is.
- If your child doesn’t know how to express a problem, create a game with 20 questions (with “enthusiastic” and “indifferent” answers) to pinpoint what is bothering your child. [2] X Research Source
- If you believe you know why your child is sad, ask questions by suggesting that you help your child figure out what the problem is. For example, you could say, “Looks like you’re upset because Timmy is moving out,” or “You must have been emotionally hurt when Billy wasn’t sitting with you.” [3] X Research Sources
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Don’t take your child’s feelings lightly. If your child is facing a problem, it’s important to let them understand that their feelings are justified. This starts with how you initiate a conversation with your child and continues with how you react when your child tells you about their problem.
- Let them talk about whatever is bothering them. Even if you find something difficult to say to your child, you need to really listen and answer honestly and affectionately. [4] X Trusted Source Penn State Extension Go to Source
- Never command your child (or anyone for that matter) to “get rid of this bad habit”, “let’s cheer up”, or “let’s have a good time together”. Saying these things can send the message that a child’s feelings don’t matter. [5] X Research Sources
- Likewise, never tell a child that his or her situation is “not that bad” – that may be true from an adult’s point of view, but for a child, the feeling of being abandoned by peers in Lunch is an extremely disappointing feeling.
- Know that many children who are upset also experience emotions at the same time, such as anger or fear. Be patient and try to talk softly to your child if they feel scared or angry at someone.
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Talk about your own sadness. Some children may not realize that their parents are constantly troubled. Many parents try to hide their negative emotions to protect their children – this works well sometimes, but it doesn’t make them think you never feel sad.
- Expressing your feelings or talking about your own sadness can help your child realize that he or she is not alone, and that it is okay to feel sad sometimes. [6] X Trusted Source Penn State Extension Go to Source
- Let your child know that crying is normal, and that you can cry in front of them sometimes, too. Cover or lead the child away from other children to avoid being called a “whispering child”.
- Tell your child about times when you’ve been upset and let him know that you’ve cried sometimes, too.
Help children have fun in a short time
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Play with children. If your child is feeling sad, try playing with them. This will remind them that you love and care for them, and help them forget their problems. [7] X Research Sources
- If your child still plays with the same toys, play with them in the games they love. If your child turns to video games, try playing a few tables with them.
- Make sure your child is playing with toys/games that help boost his or her mood. Some experts have shown that playing with tactile materials, like clay, play dough, sand, rice, and even water can help children improve their mood, forgetfulness. mortification. [8] X Trusted Source Penn State Extension Go to Source
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Pay attention to the things that interest children. Depending on age, gender, and personality, a child may be interested in a number of things. Whatever your child’s interest, try to join him. This helps children connect with you, and it can open doors to deeper and more meaningful conversations about many other aspects of their lives. [9] X Research Source
- If your child likes comic books, ask them what they like, or you can ask if you can borrow one of their favorite picture books.
- If your child likes cartoons or TV shows, ask them if you can watch them with them. This can be a good idea to help you know the age-appropriate humor of your child and to brighten their mood when they are upset.
- If your child is interested in sports, watch a match, a game, or buy tickets to the local game.
- Whatever your child’s interests, you should pay more attention to his interests. It will help create bonding, and you’ll know how to join your child the next time he’s in a bad mood.
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Let the child act out the troubles they are having. This may not interest some children, but many children want to reenact or pretend actions that correspond to the issues they care about. This could be a current family issue, maybe someone’s permanent death recently, or some event the child was exposed to but couldn’t fully understand, like responsibilities at home. worship or job responsibilities. [10] X Trusted Source Penn State Extension Go to Source
- Rehearsing troubling problems is a great way for children to explore things in a safe and learning environment.
- Make sure you’re supporting your child’s choices as he rehearses what’s happening to them. You may feel a little uncomfortable if your child is re-enacting a funeral scene right after a family funeral, but it’s probably his way of trying to understand loss, death, and grief.
- Join the act if they ask, but give them space if they want to act alone or with other children.
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Walk or ride a bike together. Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel happy. This is true for all ages. If your child is already feeling sad or upset about something, try some gentle exercise with your child to relieve stress and put him in a better mood. [11] X Research Source
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Give your child time alone. Children sometimes feel overwhelmed by being surrounded by other people all the time. This may include being exposed to electronic devices throughout the day. If your child wants to sit down with you, you should let him sit with you. But make sure your child has the choice to spend time alone without being disturbed by any electronic devices. [12] X Research Source
- Don’t let your child spend more than 2 hours a day watching TV, playing on the computer, or playing video games. The total time for all activities with electronic devices should not exceed 2 hours per day.
- Spend some quiet time alone and teach your child to be independent and independent. Gradually, children will learn to process their emotions and learn to relax or feel better without the need for video games or other distractions.
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Hold the child. It seems obvious that a hug is a great way to comfort a child when they are feeling sad, stressed, or upset. Hold your child when they feel sad, and don’t let go until they let go on their own. [13] X Research Source
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Surprise your kids with some fun. Unexpected joy can be a great way to help children forget the temporary difficulty. However, you will need to be careful that your child doesn’t expect gifts/surprises every time he or she is feeling down. You should also be careful with how often or in moderation you use distractions rather than dealing with potential problems, as this can harm your child’s development. [14] X Research Source
- Choose a fun, simple surprise and don’t have to spend a lot of money. Don’t organize another birthday or Christmas for your child, give them a small gift or a fun activity to help them have a great day.
- Try to surprise only on your child’s worst day. Don’t use them every time a child is feeling sad, or they may avoid dealing with their problems in the future.
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Try getting your child ready for bed. A quiet bedtime routine is important for children, especially when they are going through a sad or difficult time in their lives. Make sure your child gets enough sleep and has plenty of time to relax before bed so he can wake up feeling refreshed and happy. [15] X Research Source
- Help children relax and relieve stress before bed. Read a book with your child, talk that happens during the day, or give your child a warm bath.
- Keep your child’s bedroom at a comfortable temperature for sleep. The ideal temperature is between 18.3 and 22.22 degrees Celsius, but do whatever is most comfortable for your baby. [16] X Research Source
- Remember that children need more sleep than adults. A child between the ages of 5 and 12 needs 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night.
Caring for children to be happier
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Teach children to express emotions. In order for your child to have a happy life later (and for you to gauge his happiness), one of the most important things is that you need to teach your child how to express emotions and moods. Some children may have a hard time doing this on their own, but you can intervene by helping your child recognize emotions and express them appropriately.
- Try having your child make a list of current feelings. Then, talk about why the child feels that way, spending time focusing on each emotion/feeling.
- Let the children draw their feelings. Drawing is a great way to express what is going on inside a child, especially when he avoids talking about feelings or has difficulty expressing emotions.
- Just like adults, some children simply prefer privacy and closure than others. That doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong or hidden, but reassure your child that you’re there and available to talk to when they need someone to confide in. [17] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go to Source
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Be consistent. A great way to help children feel secure at home is to stick to a routine that works for them. Make sure you’re ready to give your child some comfort and reassurance, and make sure you’re supportive. It may take time to develop into a consistent routine, but it is important for the child’s well-being and comfort.
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Help your child start journaling about inspiration. If your child has never written a diary before, help them get started. If your child already has a daily diary, help them get in the habit of keeping an inspiration journal.
- Journaling about inspiration can help children understand that their experiences are important and meaningful. It can also help children recover mentally when they have a bad day in the future. [18] X Research Sources
- An inspiration journal can be as broad or specific as your child likes. Start by having your child write about everyday discoveries, experiences, questions, and of course inspiration.
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Go on an adventure with your child. Exploring new places and things together can be great bonding experiences. This teaches children a new level of curiosity, as well as a new way of seeing and thinking about the world. [19] X Research Source
- Visit a museum together, take a dance class, or learn a new hobby with your child.
- Take a little adventure to the park, or take a short route trip to see something fun and exciting.
- Surely the adventures will create excitement for children. Ask them for some information or suggestions, or let them plan on your ideas before setting off.
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Help your child find a hobby. Many studies have shown that “mastery” – the set of skills and successes, can be very important for a developing child. It can help children realize a sense of purpose, develop goals, and feel proud of their accomplishments. [20] X Research Sources
- If your child enjoys an activity, like a hockey game or a dance competition, ask if he or she would like to sign up for classes or join a tournament.
- Don’t force your child to participate in sports or recreational activities that he or she is not interested in. Let the kids decide whether or not to attend and when they’re ready to start pursuing something seriously.
- Make sure you are not directing your child to an overly competitive attitude in activities. Remember that kids won’t be able to win every match/competition. Therefore, focus on praising children for their efforts and letting them know how well they performed.
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Teach children about gratitude. Gratitude transcends feeling grateful for material things. It is important to teach children to accumulate positive experiences in life, a loving family that protects them, and their own skills and interests. [21] X Research Source
- Encourage your child to appreciate the “little things” like cherishing a walk through the park on a nice day, or appreciating a glass of their favorite juice.
- Try posting an actual chart on the wall or on the refrigerator. Let the children fill in the charts with things they like about their family, themselves, and the world around them.
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Know when to seek help. Most children experience emotional ups and downs from day to day, but some have clinical depression, behavioral problems, and some trauma. If your child experiences any of the following symptoms on a regular basis, consider seeing your child’s specialist: [22] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go to source :
- Developmental delay (speech, language, or toilet instructions)
- Difficulty studying or concentrating
- Behavioral problems, including excessive anger/aggression, outbursts of “acting out”, bed-wetting, or eating disorders
- Significant decline in grades and academic ability
- Sadness, crying, or depression Happens frequently or repeatedly
- Social distancing, isolation, and/or decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Become a victim of bullying, or bully other children
- Insomnia
- Sleeping too much
- Frequent or persistent tardy or absenteeism
- Unpredictable mood swings
- Signs of substance abuse (including alcohol, drugs, prescription drug abuse, or solvent abuse)
- Difficulty facing changes in life
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Find a specialist for your child. If you believe treatment will benefit your child, it is important that you find the right therapist. In addition, you may also want to find a psychiatrist (medical doctor with training in psychology and pharmacology), a clinical psychologist (specialist with a doctorate and advanced training in psychology), or a clinical social worker (usually trained in psychology, but not always–check information on national regulatory standards) .
- Start by asking your pediatrician for a referral or recommendation. If you don’t have that luck, you can ask a trusted friend, relative, or co-worker.
- You can also search for certified pediatricians in your area online.
- Once you’ve found the right specialist, ask if they’re available for a quick consultation or to talk on the phone. You should try to get a feel for the doctor’s personality before agreeing to a regular appointment.
- Some doctors will charge a fee for the consultation, while others will advise for free. Find out in advance so you won’t be surprised when you get a bill.
- Make sure the doctor you are seeing is licensed to practice in your country. You should also consider the doctor’s credentials and experience.
- Find out how long the doctor has been treating children and adults.
- Consider whether the child wants this therapy, and whether the doctor is friendly and approachable.
- Ask what type of therapy your doctor specializes in (cognitive-behavioral therapy, etc.).
- Check to see if your health plan covers treatment appointments for your child. [23] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go to Source
Advice
- If your child has a pet, let them keep/play with the pet (if possible), as this can be a comfort to the child.
- Spend time with children when they feel sad. Letting children know that you are with them is important.
- Try to understand what the child is going through, and do not judge or punish the child for how they are feeling.
Warning
- Never scold children because they feel sad. Likewise, you shouldn’t tell your child to “get rid of that bad feeling” or belittle their current feelings.
X
This article was co-written by Wits End Parenting. Wits End Parenting is a parenting company based in Berkeley, California that works with children with mood swings, emotional difficulties, listening difficulties, and aggressive attitudes. Wits End Parenting experts use a positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s personality, providing lasting results, eliminating the need to devise new strategies for educating parents. their children.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,462 times.
Children seem to enjoy life more than adults. But that doesn’t mean it’s all just fun and games. Sometimes children also fall into a state of sadness. As a parent or guardian, it’s up to you to figure out what’s wrong and help your child feel better. Start by talking about the problem your child is having, then find ways to cheer them up and make them happy with short-term and long-term solutions.
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