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This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
This article has been viewed 4,602 times.
Want to be a great best friend but don’t know how and where to start? Do you make your best friend angry and want to prove that you would be a good friend if forgiven? Whatever the reason, this article will help you become a great friend.
Steps
Respect yourself
- Don’t hide your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable or upset with your best friend, let them know. Maybe they will hurt a little, but if they let the friendship fall apart while the other person doesn’t know what they did wrong, they will hurt even more. Keep it cool and you’ll definitely be good friends.
- Close relationships — whether love or friendship — teach us a lot about ourselves. Don’t be afraid to get to know yourself, if you don’t like yourself, it will be difficult for others to love you either.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we often set standards that are too high for ourselves, too high to be met. If you are a perfectionist, try to learn to forgive yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to get hurt. We all have things that make us vulnerable, right? So don’t be afraid to let your best friend know what you’re vulnerable to. They won’t mind, if they do then maybe that friend is not the right person for you.
- If your friend sincerely points out your mistakes and/or suggests things you need to change to build a better friendship, don’t be hasty or angry. They are just trying to make you a better person and you should feel lucky to have such like-minded friends. Plus, having fun improving yourself will also help you have stronger friendships.
- However, if your friend has a bad attitude when you make a mistake and criticizes you for it, gently let them know how you feel. If they still won’t stop criticizing, you shouldn’t be spending time with them either.
Build trust and loyalty
- Know that your best friend has other friends, too. Believe that you are really important to them and be happy that they have other social connections than you. Friendship should never have jealousy.
- To avoid being consumed by loneliness, you should play with a group of friends. That way, when one of them is busy or turns away from you, you still have the others by your side. Play with as many friends as you can, but you should only have a few really close friends to share all the secrets of life with.
- Don’t keep it a secret. Be open with your best friend about your life and what you know about other people. Don’t bring up something when you don’t really want to talk about it. If your best friend absolutely wants to hear it, and you still don’t, you can say, “You’re my best friend; if I wanted to talk to anyone about this, it’s you. But really. I don’t want anyone to know about this yet, I promise you’ll be the first to know when I want to tell you, okay?” .
- Know that there will be difficult times. Sometimes you need to give your best friend some space to think about things. A best friend is someone who will know when a little time and space alone would be good for the other person.
- You need to distinguish between harmless secrets and dangerous secrets. Dangerous secrets not only threaten the life of the sharer, but can also affect you. Even if your friend doesn’t want everyone to know about it, it’s best to tell your parents or a trusted adult. Remember, your friend may tell you because they’re tired of keeping it to themselves and that’s their way of quietly asking for help.
- Keep promise. If you said you would do something, keep it. There is a proverb: When you speak, keep your words, don’t be like a butterfly that lands and then flies. Let your best friend know that, when you say something, you will definitely do it.
- Don’t gossip about your best friend. You should not say anything to make others talk about your best friend. For example, if she has a crush on someone, if you tell others she will be very embarrassed. Unless your best friend agrees, don’t share her story with anyone. This will sometimes be difficult, but you should try for a lasting friendship.
- Say “no” to your friend when necessary. An honest friend is a precious friend. Be polite when you think your friend is doing something wrong. In life, we don’t always have to be right, it’s important to learn to grow from our mistakes.
- If you don’t learn to say “no” to your friend, you will destroy your friendship more than you build it. Not only will your friend become overly dependent, but you will feel stressed and frustrated all the time.
- Never ignore a problem and pretend it doesn’t exist. The contradictions will not go away on their own, one day they will arise again. It’s best to deal with the problem thoroughly before it becomes too big and complicated.
- If the two of you need help with things, ask a parent or a trusted adult.
- If you or your friend frequently gets into trouble with another person, try to deal with the problem in a mature way. Don’t prank or embarrass the person, it will only make things worse. Let an adult know about it or simply ignore the aggressor. No one likes to be ignored by others and eventually that person will lose interest in teasing you.
Spend time together
- Know that you may have to sacrifice your own time and effort to spend time with your friend. Consider it the right thing to do, no matter how difficult it is.
- Practice with others. Being a good friend to someone doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself from others. Sometimes it’s great to spend time alone, you can still have fun without anyone else. But there are times when life is more fun if you enjoy it with everyone.
- Be an active listener. Active listening is listening to understand what others mean. Sometimes this also means you can guess the speaker’s feelings or thoughts before they say it. If you’re an active listener, you might even know who your friend likes before they realize it.
- Know when not to speak. There is a proverb that says: A wise man does not say much, but a wise man says a few things. Although exaggerating a little, it is partly true. Be comfortable around your best friend, don’t try to talk just to fill the silence.
Care for each other
- If it’s sad because of love, you can advise them not to worry because you are always there. Moreover, there are many people out there who are also waiting for the love of their life. Tell your best friend that one day they will surely find someone who truly loves them.
- Always remember that you have nothing to lose by helping your best friend. Whether you can’t immediately make them feel better or don’t know what to advise them, when you’re having a hard time, they’ll be there for you.
- If your best friend is away from home, send them a card or gift to let them know you still care about them. If a close friend is sick, you can call to check in. Show them that you appreciate their presence in your life by writing them your regards, concern, gratitude, sharing about your life and making time for them.
Let’s live in reality
- Take care of yourself. Like I said before, be your own best friend and take care of yourself. If you can take care of yourself, you’ll never have to rely on your best friend. If you never have to rely on them, you will never be disappointed.
- Remember that no one is perfect – not even your best friend. Everyone has flaws and needs to work to overcome them. Do not criticize your friend’s shortcomings, but help them improve them and ask for their help to improve yourself. However, when pointing out other people’s flaws, you need to understand that they will be more or less hurt, so focus on the major flaws that affect your friendship and ignore/ignore. small defects.
- Sometimes, let them fix the problem on their own without help, unless you ask. The fact that you’re always saying they have to change this or that can make your best friend feel stressed, resentful, and feel so overwhelmed that they no longer want to cultivate the friendship.
- If you’re not trying to get closer, or you’re often arguing for no reason, then you’re probably not really close friends. And this is not anyone’s fault. Maybe you guys are just too similar. Who knows, after a few weeks of alone time together, maybe you’ll be good friends again.
- Always respect your best friend even if you are no longer close. Don’t be angry with them and keep that anger in your heart. Be polite, kind and respectful to each other, you never know how things will change in the future.
Advice
- Always keep your promise. Sometimes you can break promises because of emergencies, but you should only do so when facing a really urgent and force majeure situation.
- Talk to your best friend about comfortable topics. While they’re talking, ask questions from time to time to show that you really care and are listening, be interested but don’t be too inquisitive.
- Don’t try to make your best friend jealous, even to get their attention. Intentionally making them jealous can cause a further rift in the friendship.
- If you can’t help your best friend when they need it, make it clear to them as soon as possible.
- If you know your best friend is being abused, bullied or hurt, tell a teacher or a trusted adult.
- Sometimes other people will make you uncomfortable, even close friends. At times like these, remember, that person is your best friend and stay calm. You can move away and avoid seeing them for a while when necessary, but don’t argue with them.
- If they move, stay in touch regularly via email, text, social media, phone or video call. You can also write letters to each other. And if possible, schedule a time to get together.
- Make friends with people who have a lot in common so that you can share a lot of things with them. Also, don’t be afraid to step outside your boundaries to make friends with people with different interests and mindsets!
- Don’t be afraid to disagree with your best friend. True friendship won’t end just because of a little disagreement.
- Joking from time to time is normal, but there must be limits. If you feel that your friend has been hurt, even if unintentionally, you should apologize. Also, let them vent sometimes, don’t dismiss their problems by joking when they talk about them seriously.
This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
This article has been viewed 4,602 times.
Want to be a great best friend but don’t know how and where to start? Did you make your best friend angry and want to prove that you would be a good friend if forgiven? Whatever the reason, this article will help you become a great friend.
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