You are viewing the article How to Have Love at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the CEO of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. He received his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona University and has been in therapy for over 10 years.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,664 times.
Are you still struggling in love? One of the most important steps in finding love is allowing yourself to open up, so let go of your protective cover. If you’re not ready to date someone, step out of your comfort zone and try to meet new people. When you start dating, keep a positive mindset and feel free to get to know your partner. Note, you can’t rush with love; Be patient, don’t try to force things to go your way and let the feelings develop naturally.
Steps
Allow yourself to open up
- If you have been in several relationships in the past, think about times when you avoided showing intimacy with your partner. For example, you don’t express your feelings for fear that they don’t feel the same way.
- You may find it difficult to think about your barrier, especially when it is often related to past trauma. Be honest with yourself and remember that everyone has fears and insecurities.
- That means you can always change. For example, you cannot increase or decrease your height, but you can eat healthy and exercise for the best health.
- Always remind yourself that you are a wonderful person, and that you have a lot of good qualities! You can look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I’m a good person, don’t be afraid to show yourself! Take off your protective shell and allow yourself to be loved.”
Tip: Every time you have negative critical thoughts, convert them. Instead of saying, “I’m never good at anything,” tell yourself, “Nobody’s perfect, but I just try my best. It’s normal to make mistakes from time to time.”
- For example, if you had an interesting date with someone, let them know. Don’t hesitate to send them a message saying “Thank you for a great evening! I’m really happy” if that’s what you want. You don’t have to wait 3 days before calling or pretending you don’t care so they have to chase you.
- Opening up is an important part of building an intimate relationship. You don’t have to admit your deepest feelings right away, but you and your partner won’t be able to develop feelings by playing catch-up.
- If you choose to go out and then stumble, don’t take it as the end. Relationships end for a lot of reasons. Just because you don’t get along with someone doesn’t mean you have a problem.
Meet many new people
- Finding love sometimes takes a lot of effort. Don’t just sit back and assume that the perfect lover will find you. Go out, meet a lot of people to find out how much you want to love someone.
- Even if you’re not interested in dating someone, talking to them will help you become more comfortable communicating.
A few suggestions for starting a conversation
“The coffee here is the best, don’t you think?”
“Hi – I just saw your book. Hemingway is my favorite author!”
“The weather is beautiful today! I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for spring.”
“I feel like yesterday’s homework was countless. And what do you see?”
- For example, if you enjoy reading, join a reading club. You can also take a cooking class, yoga or rock climbing class, or join a soccer or basketball club. If you are a student, join a club at school. If you have a dog, you can take the dog to the park and meet dog lovers.
- Stay calm and trust your intuition when meeting other people online. Just chat through a dating app or website, and then exchange phone numbers when you feel comfortable. Talk on the phone before you meet, and only make an appointment to meet in public. [8] X Research Sources
- Note, online dating is for adults only. If you’re under 18, choose to meet more people at school, through friends or extracurricular activities.
- For example, perhaps responsibility, honesty, and humor top your list. If you have goals, such as having children or traveling the world, find someone who shares your ideals.
- While looks play a role in attraction, it shouldn’t be a top priority. The most important thing is to find someone who appreciates and accepts you for who you are.
- Likewise, never say you don’t deserve someone. Stay objective and don’t put yourself down.
- Be open to opportunities. Maybe you will eventually develop feelings for the person you least expect.
Building long-term relationships
- For example, during the first few dates with someone, you can ask questions and show genuine interest in their answers. If you two get along, you’ll be eager to learn about their childhoods or hobbies.
- Even after you’ve fallen in love with someone, you still need to stay positive and open-minded. Falling in love is something you can’t control, but to stay in love, you need to make choices. Choose to have fun, learn more about each other, and share new experiences.
- For deep conversations, choose a time when you don’t have a lot of distractions, like during or after dinner. Ask open-ended questions like “What made you feel most interesting today?” Instead of asking questions just answer yes or no.
- Meeting each other’s needs is a contributing factor to love. Sharing and helping each other accomplish goals can strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
- Besides, things will be better if you both have the same goals in life. For example, if you’re ready to build a home, you probably don’t want to be in a serious relationship with someone who doesn’t want to have children.
Tip: The right time to talk about cohabitation and engagement will depend on your relationship. Let’s take these topics lightly. You might ask, “Do you want to have children in the future?” or “When do you think lovers will be ready to live together?” [14] X Research Source
- Regularly plan a date night, but don’t repeat the same activity over and over. You can try new restaurants or cuisines, or discover new places in the city.
- Take on a fun challenge together or learn a new skill. You can also skydive, go hiking or mountain climbing, or take a cooking class.
- For example, your lover is a long-distance runner. Two people can enjoy many other activities together, but exercise is something they need to do alone. You’ll give them their space but still cheer them on in the races and say, “I’m so proud you beat your best this week!”
- As the relationship matures, it’s easy for lovers to feel like they’ve lost some of themselves. Pursuing your own and shared goals can help you and your partner maintain a long-lasting loving relationship.
- If you feel like you’re falling out of love with your long-term partner or lover, small acts of kindness can help. Take the initiative to write love letters, buy them gifts, and help them with housework. When they notice your effort into the relationship, they will do the same.
- For example, saying, “I feel like I’m doing a lot of housework. Can you help me a bit?” would be constructive, but “You’re lazy and I hate it” has an offensive connotation.
- When dealing with conflicts, you should avoid getting angry about the past, bringing up the past, threatening to break up in the dark, or making sarcastic comments.
- If you or your partner need space to calm down, don’t just walk away and chill with each other. Instead, say, “I think we need space to calm down. Let’s talk about it when you’re both out of your anger.”
- If you’re worried about not being in control, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “Don’t worry and don’t take it too seriously. You enjoy being with that person and that’s the most important thing right now. If the two of you can’t get together in the future, that’s okay too!”
- Over time, you will find many people who look like potential but just can’t get you far. There is no way to force yourself to love. If you’re dating someone but you don’t feel the same way, see it as a learning opportunity. Gradually, you will find the right person for you.
Advice
- Don’t fall in love with someone just because they’re attractive, treat you well, or don’t mind spending money on you. True love is built on respect, trust and compassion for each other.
- Casual dating can help you determine what’s right and wrong for you. If you’re just starting out, don’t try to take it too seriously or expect to find the right person right away.
- Love looks scary! Opening your heart and revealing your secrets to someone takes time; so please be patient with each other.
- If you’ve been hurt in the past, remember that the hurt wasn’t caused by the current person. You should leave the past behind and live in the present with your lover.
- If you find it difficult to let go of your protective cover or experience love, try talking to a psychologist. They can help you understand and overcome your barriers.
This article was co-written by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Moshe Ratson is the CEO of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a training and therapy clinic in New York City. He received his Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona University and has been in therapy for over 10 years.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,664 times.
Are you still struggling in love? One of the most important steps in finding love is allowing yourself to open up, so let go of your protective cover. If you’re not ready to date someone, step out of your comfort zone and try to meet new people. When you start dating, keep a positive mindset and feel free to get to know your partner. Note, you can’t rush with love; Be patient, don’t try to force things to go your way and let the feelings develop naturally.
Thank you for reading this post How to Have Love at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: