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This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,990 times.
There are many things in this world that we want. Some of which we can earn or achieve on our own, sometimes we also need the help of others such as parents or colleagues. Knowing what you want and learning how to get it are the keys to accomplishing your goals.
Steps
Clearly define goals
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Understand the values you hold dear. You need to know what is essential to being able to live the life you dream of. The things that you want to have need to match those values. If they don’t match, you may not get what you want or lose important things in the pursuit of your goal. [1] X Research Source
- These contradictions are not always obvious from the start. For example, the goal of starting a business will take up a lot of your time, and if one of your values is spending time with your family, this idea can lead to conflict. .
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Set specific goals. Generic goals like “make more money” or “be healthier” are good places to start, but you need to be more specific. Clearly define what success looks like, with measurable signs of progress. This can help you see how well you’re doing, and what the next steps to achieving your goal are.
- For example, instead of setting a broad goal like “better health,” you might choose a more specific benchmark like “run 10 km” or “lose 10 kg.”
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Write down what you want. Write down reasons why you want it. This will make your wishes more specific, and it will remind you of what you want. That way, you can also see clearly whether it’s what you really want, or if there’s something you’ve always wanted. [2] X Research Source
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Tell yourself that you deserve what you want. Many people, especially women, often don’t ask for anything, because they feel like they don’t deserve it. Think about why you think that way. Examining and being aware of your fears can help you understand what you need to do to get what you want. [3] X Research Sources
- Don’t mind what others want and worry about. Your life, your limitations, and your desires are not like everyone else’s, and this is normal. Knowing what you want and how valuable it is to you is an important step towards your goal. [4] X Research Sources
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Experiment with new things. Sometimes you don’t know that there are things out there in your dreams. Be open to new achievements, new jobs, and new experiences, anything that can open your eyes and change your perspective on the world. [5] X Research Sources
- Hear people’s suggestions for new things you can try, like taking a class or exploring nature. You may find a new hobby or goal in life that you never thought of before.
Get into action
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Overcome your doubts. . Many people do not dare to pursue their desires simply because they lack confidence in their own abilities. Recognize and question your doubts and don’t let them get in your way. [6] X Research Sources[7] X Research Sources
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Save money. Many of the things you want to have, including new things to buy, learn skills, even a new job, require money. Calculate the costs associated with what you are trying to accomplish and review your expenses. [8] X Research Sources
- If you’re considering a big purchase or are planning on doing something expensive, setting aside a little money each month or taking out every check can help you get there. Moreover, if you do it regularly, you will also learn the habit of saving and spending more rationally.
- Don’t just look at the cost of the things you want. You should include what you’ve spent. If there’s something holding you back from reaching your goal that can be cut, do it now.
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Make a plan . Once you’ve determined what you want, set out the steps you need to take to get there.
- Identify potential obstacles or problems and figure out how to fix them. This is an opportunity for you to face doubts that you cannot ignore. These barriers may involve money, your time, your ability, or the help of others.
- Set achievable milestones to reach the goal. This can help you stay on track by completing small tasks in a reasonable amount of time instead of completing a big goal all at once. For example, if you want to lose weight, set a goal of losing 2.5 kg in 2 weeks to start working on the plan. It is better than fasting and trying to lose 10 kg in the same time.
- Set clear deadlines in the plan. A specific deadline or time frame for getting what you want can help you stay motivated and focused. It also helps you stay on track on your journey to your destination.
- Follow the plan. Many people fail because they give up too soon. There’s no such thing as success without overcoming obstacles, so stick to your plan and stick with it to the end, even if things don’t always go your way. [9] X Research Source
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Practice accepting defeat. Many times you can’t get what you expect. Instead of getting discouraged and giving up, see it as an opportunity to try other ways that might be better. [10] X Research Sources[11] X Research Sources
- For example, if you save money to buy something worthwhile, but by the time you have enough money, it’s out of stock. That’s okay, maybe there’s something else or something better you can buy. You can also choose to wait until the new sale is better.
Find the support of others
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Call for help. People can’t read your mind, and usually they won’t ask if you don’t tell them what you want. [12] X Research Source Everyone wants to be useful, especially to friends or family. [13] X Research Source
- Meet the person to ask directly. It’s always better to ask someone for help in person than to call or email. People will find it difficult to flatly refuse in front of you.
- Provide detailed information. When you ask for something, you need to detail what you want and when you need it. Avoid vague words like “soon,” but give a specific deadline. A specific request also shows the other person that you spent a lot of time thinking about what you want, and lets them know how they can help you.
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Get excited. This is something you want, something that excites you. Let the person know how much it means to you. Excitement is contagious, and it’s harder to refuse. If they see you’re excited about an idea, chances are they’ll be eager to help you too. [14] X Research Source
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Limit the other person’s work. You can’t dump your entire project on someone else. This can make people hesitant and unwilling to help. You should only ask them for simple and easy to understand tasks, do not forget to emphasize that they do not have to do much.
- Or, instead of asking someone else to do it, you can simply ask for information to rely on to do it yourself. If your goal is to do better, the other person can help you by telling you where to find out about certain programs instead of lecturing you.
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Recommend exchange. When someone does something for you, promise to do something in return, perhaps simply to be grateful to them, or to return money if money is involved.
- For friends or colleagues, sometimes the return is just inviting them to lunch or doing them a favor. In a work environment, you can always offer to do something to help them in return.
- Children should not think that they have nothing to repay their parents when they ask for something. You can promise to help your parents with the housework or get better grades in school. [15] X Research Source
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Prepare to be rejected. Sometimes others may reject your offer or hesitate. Think about what the person might object to and prepare some answers. [16] X Research Source Their doubts may be similar to some of the things you have thought about and tried to solve, so start from there.
- If rejected, don’t be afraid to ask why. If they are vague or not specific, ask for more details. A question like “So what do I need to do?” is a good way to get more information and try to convince them to accept. [17] X Research Source
- Avoid getting angry or blaming the person. They don’t help you, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. Such a reaction will only make the person more reluctant to help you later.
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Say Thank you. When someone helps you, you need to be grateful to them. Be sincere and specifically mention what the person does for you. Furthermore, expressing gratitude is also a good way to encourage people to help you in the future.
- A formal thank you note can also be appropriate, especially in a work setting. Remember that the message should be short and sincere.
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This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,990 times.
There are many things in this world that we want. Some of which we can earn or achieve on our own, sometimes we also need the help of others such as parents or colleagues. Knowing what you want and learning how to get it are the keys to accomplishing your goals.
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