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Anyone who has been on Tinder has probably experienced a slightly awkward date.
There’s no real conversation, you both know you haven’t got a connection and you realise it’s not worth meeting up again.
You move on – there’re plenty more dates out there.
Except one man did that and then six months later, he felt the need to go back to his date and tell her she was disrespectful for not getting in touch again and added that he thought she was ‘dressed like she was at a funeral’.
His date Amy Bottrill challenged him about holding a grudge for so long, but he insisted she had ‘some making up to do’ before telling her he wasn’t opposed to reconciling.
Amy told Metro.co.uk: ‘It was just one of those where it was kind of awkward and I thought it was clear that we both weren’t really into it, I was polite but didn’t feel the need to pursue him OR explicitly reject him/explain why I didn’t want to see him again
‘Neither of us reached out, he didn’t make any effort to see me again or contact me/even ask how I was.’
In screengrabs posted on Twitter of their Whatsapp conversation, their last message was on 29 October, after their date when they sent a few messages thanking each other for the evening.
Then the conversation went cold, with neither of them saying anything else until Monday evening, over six months later, when he messaged her saying: ‘Do you know how disrespectful it is to have someone take you out on a date, pay for everything, drop you home, then to never call or text that person back.’
Amy replied: ‘Have you really been holding that grudge for nearly 6 months?’
Despite his abrupt message, it seems he thought it would somehow persuade her to see him again.
I regret to inform you that I have just been roasted to within an inch of my life by this man who bought me one meal in October 2018 and has apparently been seething ever since pic.twitter.com/5iQJdIzCGy
— Amy Bottrill (@bottrill) April 15, 2019
He said: ‘Nope. Life is too short for grudges darling… However, don’t let that stop any reconciling you may have been considering.’
Amy said: ‘I don’t get what this is about but I wasn’t disrespectful in any way, if you wanted to see me again you could have said… but that didn’t happen and I assumed we both didn’t feel much chemistry so I kept it moving.’
He told her she had some ‘making up to do’ before asking her how she is.
When she replied with a pleasant ‘I’m fine’, he tried again to see if they could get chatting again.
He said: ‘Babe. Blow the dust off my number and be nice to me. It took alot for me to reach out to you after the way you behaved so you should be making much more of an effort right now.’
Clearly not taking the hint, Amy spells out that she is not interested but the guy wants to know why.
She explained: ‘Because we had 1 fairly awkward date and you didn’t seem to fancy me or want to see me again, now it’s nearly 6 months later and you think the way to get my interest/attention is by being hostile and entitled and calling me disrespectful? Nah I’m good thanks.’
And then he turned nasty and told her she was ‘dressed like you was attending a funeral of someone you didn’t like…’
Amy later clarified that she wore a low cut black dress with poppers all the was down and four inch heels, so we’re not sure what sort of funerals this guy is attending.
At that point Amy ended the conversation but she took some screengrabs and posted them on Twitter.
ok!!!!! pic.twitter.com/zHCfJpN8ry
— Amy Bottrill (@bottrill) April 15, 2019
She told Metro.co.uk: ‘I frequently share dating experiences on Twitter because it’s something that a lot of single women have to go through, especially when the age of apps and social media has changed how people communicate.
‘I tweeted that without thinking too much because I found it comical how ridiculous it was for him to reach out over so much time in such a hostile/aggressive way to provoke a reaction from me.’
Although she said she thought they were funny, she said that she wants to raise a more serious point about the way men treat women they go on dates with.
She added: ‘Sadly I don’t think this is unusual at all and that’s probably why it’s been shared so much – thousands of women seem to have very similar experiences or even worse.
‘I can laugh about these messages but straight men’s entitlement to women’s time and attention is a real problem and can actually be very unsettling or threatening.
‘This is an example of a wider symptom that literally hurts or kills women every day – a perceived slight against someone’s ego or a polite rejection can lead to harassment, abuse, stalking or violence.’
The Tweet she posted went viral, with lots of people relating to her experience but she’s received some nasty comments as well.
‘Seeing the reactions has also been infuriating because for all the support, there are dozens of responses saying I brought this upon myself by not being grateful enough to receive a free meal on a first date, not being polite enough afterwards, etc,’ she said.
‘Ultimately people can behave like this whether or not you pick up the bill, no matter how ‘polite’ you are during or after a date, no matter what you wear (and whether it looks like you’re dressed for a funeral or not lol).’
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