When will he text you after the first date? What to do after a good date?

When you get home from your first date, you’re probably wondering when to text your partner to let you know how you feel. And if you’re waiting for that guy to send you a message, you’re probably also nervous with mixed emotions. While there are no hard and fast rules about when to send (or receive) texts, there are some guidelines for when to contact, no matter how the date goes. We’ll answer your questions about when to text, what to expect if you’re waiting for a text, plus some examples to help you text your crush!

Table of Contents

When should I send a message?

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If all goes well, send a text within an hour of the date. Communicating via text message is quick and convenient, so don’t keep your partner waiting for a long time. If you want to see the other person again, text them early to let them know that you like them. Don’t forget to take enough time to think about how your date went and ask yourself if you’d be happy to be around them. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, you could say, “Hi again! Tonight was great! I feel very happy.”
Another example: “I just wanted you to know I’m so happy to see you! It’s great that we get to know each other. Let’s see each other soon, okay?”
Trust your intuition after the date. If you enjoy being with them, let them know.

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If you’re still confused about how you’re feeling, wait a day or two. If you don’t know how you feel about the other person after the first date, that’s okay too. Wait until the day is over, and the next day think about how the date went the day before. Ask yourself if you enjoy being around the person, do you find them attractive, and if the two of you are talking to each other. If you want to call the other person then get in touch and let them know. ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, if the two of you were having a good time, you could say, “Hi, I’m sorry for the late texting. I just wanted to say that I had a great time last night. He’s so witty! I want to get to know you more. Shall we meet for dinner soon?”
Another example: If you don’t want to see the other person again, you could text, “Nice to see you last night, but I’m not sure we’re a good match.”
Remember the other person’s body language during the date. If it seems like they’re fidgeting around, avoiding eye contact, or keeping their distance from you, they’re probably just as confused as you are.

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Don’t pay attention to the “3-day rule”. You’ve probably heard of waiting until the third day after a date to contact your partner again, but this rule seems to have become obsolete. It will leave the other person wondering if you really like them, or if you’re just playing around with them. Sending a text is quick, so you text as soon as you know how you feel.

You may also worry that you’re moving too fast by sending a text 3 days earlier, but it’s best to just express your feelings instead of avoiding them.

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Don’t wait longer than a week if you want to maintain the relationship. While it’s good to take time to reflect on how you feel, a week is a long time to wait. Even if you don’t want to go on a second date with the other person, be respectful and let them know within a few days of the first date. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

While you’re procrastinating, the other person may think you don’t like them, ignore them, or play mind games with them.

When to wait for a message?

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If you don’t want to wait, just text him first. You may think that men have to take the initiative, but don’t be afraid to step forward! If you enjoyed the last date or want to keep the conversation going, get in touch and let him know. The guy might appreciate you taking the initiative to keep him from stressing over what to say. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say “Hi! I have to tell you right away that yesterday’s mini gpf game was fun! Thank you for taking me there 😊”

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Wait until the end of the day if you feel like the date went well. If you’re both having a good time, he’ll probably text you when he leaves a few hours after your first date. Pay attention to the message, but don’t be too disappointed if you don’t get the message right away. Maybe your guy has to think about how to compose the perfect text, or maybe he’s just busy. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

He may also wait until late at night to bring up his date and wish you good night so you think of him before you go to sleep.

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Wait 3 days after the first date for him to respond if he’s the traditional type. While it’s no longer common, some guys still follow the “3-day rule” before contacting. They think that waiting a few days won’t seem so longing, and when texting, they feel more comfortable. Although it can be impatient to wait, you should give him a few days to text, or you can text him first. ^{[6] X Research Source}

Your guy might be busy with something, so don’t be too harsh if he doesn’t respond after a few days.

How should I send a message?

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Start the message with something that made you smile during the date. If you had a good time on your first date, don’t hesitate to let them know right away. Think of fun and memorable moments from your date and repeat them in a text message. Talk about specifics to let them know that you enjoy being with them and want to see them again. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “I had a great time at dinner tonight. The stories you tell make me unable to stop laughing!”
Another example: “Tonight was fun. I can’t believe you beat me in the FINAL bowling round. Anyway, I’m happy to cheer for you! ”
Another example: “Thank you for taking me to the movies! Very good movie. We definitely need to talk about the ending! I still don’t know how you can guess what’s going to happen!”

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Suggest a second date within 2 weeks if you want to see the other person again. Instead of just texting each other, you can plan your next date so you don’t lose momentum. Get in touch during the week if you’re planning to meet on the weekend so you don’t feel pressured or rushed. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Example: “I had a great time last night. I wonder if you want us to meet again this Friday night?”
Another example: “I was very happy to meet my brother the other day and wanted to learn more about him. I know a nice coffee shop. Do you want to go there this Thursday?”
Add another example “Yesterday went to lunch with my brother. I want to see you again and then we can have dinner together. Can you see this Friday night?”

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Ask the other person to continue the conversation before the next appointment. If you want to learn more about the other person, keep the conversation going so you don’t lose the connection. Keep it natural in the time between dates by asking how they were doing or asking about things they’re interested in. Try to learn as much about them as you can so you can nurture and grow your relationship in times when you’re not seeing each other. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, you could say, “Hi, how are you today?” or “Hi. How are you?”
Some good questions you can ask the person are “What is your favorite book?” or “What is your dream job?”
If the other person doesn’t reply to your message, wait about 4 hours and then text back. That way you can gently remind them of the conversation without sounding too pushy. ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Subtly say no if you don’t want to see them again. Unfortunately, not every date is successful. If you don’t feel connected, tell them early so you don’t give them false hope. You should be honest with your feelings, but use kind words so as not to hurt the other person. After sending a message, you should give them space and avoid texting them again. ^{[12] X Research Source}

For example, you could say, “I’m glad to see you, but I don’t think we’re compatible. Thank you for understanding me.”
Another example: “You’re a great person, but maybe we’d be better friends. Thank you for understanding.”
You can also say “Hi, Mr. Phong. I thank you for inviting me to dinner last night, but I think we’d better find someone else. Thank you for the good time.”

Advice

Remember that some people don’t text often. If you don’t get a response right away, the other person may be busy and will reply later. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Continue to meet to get to know the other person rather than just texting back and forth to build a stronger and more intimate relationship. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Warning

Avoid saying anything too clingy or sexy in the first place to avoid distracting the other person. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Steps

When should I send a message?

When to wait for a message?

How should I send a message?

Advice

Warning

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