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This article was co-written by Judith Gottesman, MSW. Judith Gottesman is a matchmaker, relationship consultant and founder of Soul Mates Unlimited™️ Date Coaching and Matchmaking. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in applying psychology, attention to detail, and intuition to create lasting relationships. She is a popular matchmaker in the West Bank Jewish community, but her service is suitable for everyone. Her services have been featured in many national media publications, such as The New York Times, NPR, and Fox News. Judith is also the author of two books Your Soul Mate Awaits! and The Lost Art of Dating. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of California, Berkeley and a master’s degree in Social Work from Yeshiva University.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,369 times.
Has your relationship with your boyfriend recently turned sour? If you have a hunch your boyfriend hates you, we’re here to help. Read on for signs that he really hates you, why you feel that way, and what you need to do about it. Remember that no one deserves to be treated badly, including you! Even if it turns out this guy isn’t the one for you, it doesn’t mean you can’t find a happy relationship with someone who truly deserves it.
Steps
Signs that he hates you
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He often threatens to leave you. If your boyfriend keeps moving around threatening to cut you off or saying he’s breaking up to control you or scare you, that’s not a good sign. A healthy relationship should give you a sense of security without the fear of him leaving you every time there is a disagreement. [1] X Research Source
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He often criticizes you even in the presence of other people. Your lover should be someone who supports and encourages you instead of putting you down. If he has a lot of bad things about you in his head and doesn’t hesitate to say it in front of others, then he doesn’t respect or care about your feelings. [2] X Research Source
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He accuses you of even things that are not your fault. In a relationship, both people are responsible for their words and actions. If your boyfriend is always acting like everything is your fault, especially when it’s not, he’s probably just looking for someone to blame. [3] X Research Sources
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He doesn’t talk about the future with you. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to make plans for the upcoming months, he probably doesn’t intend to be with you for long. Similarly, if he shuts up every time you talk about the future, whether it’s holiday plans or kids, then this is a sign that he doesn’t want to be with you for the rest of his life. . [4] X Research Sources
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He doesn’t spend time with you or shows interest in you. Couples with healthy relationships are often as close as friends. Two people do many things together and give each other gestures of love and affection. On the other hand, if each person does their own thing and rarely hangs out and enjoys moments together, it’s likely that his feelings for you aren’t what they used to be. [5] X Research Sources
- If he forgets your birthdays or anniversaries, it’s a sign that he doesn’t need to be in a relationship with you.
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He doesn’t want to cuddle or be intimate with you. When was the last time you two held hands or cuddled? If the two of you have not been intimate or close for a long time, it is a sign that there is a problem between you and your boyfriend. [6] X Research Source
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He cheated on you. If your boyfriend is having sex with other people, whether emotionally or physically, then unfortunately – you are not the person he wants to be with. [7] X Research Source You don’t deserve this treatment, and the best thing you can do is leave this person right away!
- A single betrayal doesn’t mean you need to break up, but you’ll need to work on rebuilding trust with your boyfriend and mending the relationship.
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He is an abuser or an abuser. Your boyfriend’s use of force is unacceptable! If he is violent, confines or hurts you (pushes, hits, slaps, kicks, or chokes you, for example), you need to get out of the relationship quickly. We know this is a very scary situation, but the best thing you can do is leave. [8] X Research Sources
- Mental abuse is also unacceptable. If your boyfriend is controlling you, trying to manipulate you, constantly using silence and taciturnity to deal with you, or using distortions to deceive you, then it’s time to stop. terminate this relationship. [9] X Research Source
- If you are in the US, you can go to https://www.thehotline.org/ or https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-vipence/leaving-abusive-relationship to find support.
Reasons why your boyfriend hates you
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Your boyfriend is having personal problems and takes it out on you. If your man is under a lot of pressure at school or work or is having trouble at home, he probably didn’t mean to be mean to you. [10] X Source of Research You still need to talk to him and work through existing problems, but your relationship may still be salvageable.
- Try approaching him when he’s calm. You could say, “I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately because of the merger, but I feel like this pressure is taking a toll on your relationship with me. I want to talk to you to find a way to improve this.” Hopefully he will realize the mistake in his behavior!
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He feels suffocated in his relationship with you. A lot of things happen because of “you, her, both of you”, and maybe it’s not all your boyfriend’s fault.Take a few minutes to think about how you’ve been treating him lately. [11] X Research Source Do you control him?Do you demand too much attention from him?If your boyfriend doesn’t have the opportunity to do his own thing and doesn’t have time to spend with him. maybe he will start resenting you.
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Your boyfriend thinks you’re not making him a priority. Are you always busy with your own business and barely have time for him? If you forget the plans you’ve made, or don’t return calls or texts, he probably doesn’t see himself as important in your life. If you want to improve the situation, make it a priority for your boyfriend and show that you care about him. [12] X Research Source
- You can say, “Sorry, I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time for you. Now, how about one date night every week so we can spend time together, how do you feel?”
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He feels like you’re joking. Do you flirt with other guys or talk about exes? Are you trying to please him or are you trying to make him jealous? If you don’t treat your boyfriend well, he may retaliate against you. Let’s sit down with him and make things clear so we can both move on. [13] X Research Source
- Open and honest communication is really important in a relationship. Instead of playing mind games, talk to him and try to get to the root of your problems.
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He doesn’t have the guts to leave you. If your man starts to turn cold on you and treat you badly, he may want to end the relationship but can’t tell you directly. You deserve better than that! [14] X Research Source
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Your boyfriend treats you badly because he’s an abuser. In some cases, your boyfriend’s behavior really has nothing to do with you. Maybe it comes from past relationships or his childhood, but that still doesn’t justify the behavior. If he abuses you verbally, physically or sexually, it’s not your fault, even if he says he is. [15] X Research Source
What to do if he hates you
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Re-strengthen the relationship if you think it can be salvaged. Sit down and start a mature and sincere conversation. If each person can express their grievances in good faith and decide to repair the relationship, both of you can get through it! This takes a little effort, but if you’re still in love, you can rebuild a healthy relationship. [16] X Research Source
- Use sentences with the subject of yourself to share your feelings and avoid offending or demeaning the other person.
- Discuss what each person needs to do to make both of you feel valued, supported, and respected.
- Don’t be afraid to try seeing a marriage and family counselor! A counselor can give you the tools to rebuild a better relationship than before.
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Leave your boyfriend if he treats you badly for no reason at all. Unfortunately, maybe your boyfriend is just a jerk. If you’ve worked hard to nurture this relationship and treat your boyfriend well, but he still acts like he hates you, then it’s time to leave him behind. [17] X Research Source You just sit down and tell him it’s over!
- Take time to work through the relationship and breakup. Then you can step out and find a guy who treats you well!
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Raise your self-esteem and don’t give in. Having to deal with a boyfriend who treats you badly can take a toll on your mental state and self-esteem. [18] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the source Remind yourself what a wonderful person you are and deserve the best! Take care of yourself and spend time with people who appreciate the real you.
- Repeat a positive mantra like “I am worthy of love.” It sounds a bit dated, but it really works!
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This article was co-written by Judith Gottesman, MSW. Judith Gottesman is a matchmaker, relationship consultant and founder of Soul Mates Unlimited™️ Date Coaching and Matchmaking. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in applying psychology, attention to detail, and intuition to create lasting relationships. She is a popular matchmaker in the West Bank Jewish community, but her service is suitable for everyone. Her services have been featured in many national media publications, such as The New York Times, NPR, and Fox News. Judith is also the author of two books Your Soul Mate Awaits! and The Lost Art of Dating. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of California, Berkeley and a master’s degree in Social Work from Yeshiva University.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,369 times.
Has your relationship with your boyfriend recently turned sour? If you have a hunch your boyfriend hates you, we’re here to help. Read on for signs that he really hates you, why you feel that way, and what you need to do about it. Remember that no one deserves to be treated badly, including you! Even if it turns out this guy isn’t the one for you, it doesn’t mean you can’t find a happy relationship with someone who truly deserves it.
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