Revenge on narcissistic ex: 12 ways to let them down

Did a narcissist break your heart and leave you to pick up the pieces? You must have mixed feelings of sadness, anger, and betrayal in your heart right now. When dealing with a narcissist, the best revenge is to live happily. We’ll help you move on with your wonderful life and make the narcissist angry and frustrated.

Table of Contents

Ignore their manipulative patterns

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Narcissists often use tricks to manipulate you, so don’t fall into their trap. They have all kinds of tricks to use to control you, such as “love bombs”, emotional manipulation and revenge. You can’t beat a narcissist by playing their game. Ignore them when they try to manipulate you. This will infuriate them knowing that they can’t control you anymore. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Do not argue with a narcissist, as they will only continue to escalate until they reach a new goal. They are incapable of seeing things from your perspective. Best to just ignore them. ^{[2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}
Revenge is one of the narcissists’ games. When they feel slighted, they will spread rumors about you, destroy your belongings, or commit violence. In some cases, they will harbor the intention of revenge in the long run. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Conventional vengeance won’t work on narcissists, but they’ll be furious when they see you continuing to enjoy life.

Show them how happy you are without them

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The narcissist will suffer when he sees you happy. They will never feel truly happy because of their inability to feel it. They can only play their game and try to bring others down. ^{[4] X Research Source} Show the narcissist that you are living happily without them. As such, they themselves will have to experience the feeling of heartbreak. You can do things like:

Post on social media pictures of you having fun with family and friends.
Show off to mutual friends about your accomplishments and progress toward your goals.
Take a few random dates or group dates to enter the dating world.
Refresh your look after a breakup.

Set boundaries to protect yourself

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You can use boundaries to silence the narcissist, something they hate. Set boundaries by thinking about what you need from them and letting them know your requirements. Be frank about what you can accept and what you don’t. You can say things like:

“Please don’t contact me again.”
“Do not share my photos with others.”
“I won’t talk to you if you scream.”
“I’ll end the conversation if you curse at me.”
“I’ll only talk to you about children.”

Refuse to give them what they want

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Focus on your need to show the narcissist what they have lost. Narcissists are masters of exploitation. They are always waiting for you to meet their requirements but have no intention of reciprocating. ^{[5] X Research Resources} Start saying “no” to them and focus on what you want. They will be very disappointed and realize how wonderful you were as a lover.

Stop answering their calls and texts.
Do not react to anything they say or do.
Don’t praise them.
Stop helping them do what they want.

Stay calm when they try to piss you off

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Narcissists want you to respond to their narcissism, so don’t give them the satisfaction. They expect you to be angry, miserable, or regretful. Whatever kind of reaction you have gives them a sense of victory, whether you’re mad, crying, or apologizing. No matter how difficult it is, you should try to stay calm and not react. ^{[6] X Trusted Source Cleveland Clinic Go to Source} Try: ^{[7] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

Take a few deep breaths
Count to 10
Repeat the word “relax” over and over.
Imagine a peaceful scene
Do stretching exercises

Cut off all contact with them if possible

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Narcissists feel empowered when you interact with them, so don’t give them that power. They will through communication find a way back into your life. On the contrary, not contacting them will leave them feeling lost. ^{[8] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the source} Block them on your phone and social media, and remember to avoid the places they’re going.

You may still have to talk to them if you have children together or work at the same place. Try to only discuss children or work with them.

Beware of the “love bomb” trick

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Don’t listen to them seduce you back so they continue to control your life. In order to fulfill their purpose, they will show passionate affection as they did when they started pursuing you. They hope to entice you to come back. However, this phase is short-lived, and it won’t be long before they re-emerge as a narcissist when you’re off guard. Put aside all their efforts, and you will win.

They usually won’t hesitate to flatter you and say they miss you so much. They’ll just keep doing that until you come back, and eventually they’ll come back to their games.

Listen to your inner voice

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Go for what you really want and don’t care what they think. When the narcissist has you, they will try to destroy you and make you not believe in yourself. They want you to feel less important than them. Ignore them and believe that you are just as capable and talented as them. Choose what you feel is right, and the narcissist will be very disappointed that they have lost the control they once had.

You can pursue your dream job, even if they say you’re not good at it. Similarly, you can find a new hobby, even if your ex once criticized you as a waste of time.
Learn to listen to your intuition.

Love yourself instead of giving them love

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Feed your ego with your energy to show that you are important. Instead of giving all your love to your narcissist, focus your energy on meeting your own needs. Besides, don’t forget to follow your hopes and dreams. ^{[9] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the Source} When they see you shine, the narcissist will be furious and will know they have lost their power over you, once and for all. That will make them suffer.

Identify goals that are important to you.
Practice self-care to look and feel your best.
Praise yourself.

Build a support system

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Rely on people who truly care about you during your recovery. You deserve love and support, and there are people out there who truly love you. You might even make new friends who don’t know the narcissist. That way, you will have people who are completely on your side. ^{[10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

It is possible that the narcissist will draw some people against you. This can be very heartbreaking for you, but it’s not all your fault. In the end, most people will realize the problem is with the narcissist. Meanwhile, spend time with the people who trust you.

Understand that it’s the narcissist’s fault

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Narcissists try to blame you for everything, even if it’s not your responsibility. You don’t need to justify their malicious behavior. They chose to insult, lie, and manipulate your emotions to take control of you. ^{[11] X Trusted Source Cleveland Clinic Go to the Source} When you start blaming yourself, remember that it’s not your fault. Alternatively, you can also talk to someone you trust who can give you words of encouragement.

Tell yourself, “I have done everything I can to build this relationship,” “I can’t control anyone’s actions,” “I put all my energy into this relationship. .”
Talk to someone you can trust to release your feelings. Unfortunately, talking to a narcissist will only make them try to make you feel worse.

Focus on healing the trauma of the narcissist’s abuse

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Narcissists often try to take away your power by criticizing you, so focus on strengthening self-determination. Their insults can hurt your self-esteem and even make you doubt yourself. The truth is that you absolutely deserve to be loved, you have many wonderful and unique qualities that make you special. Don’t forget to take a moment to remind yourself of your strengths.

You can see a therapist to help you rebuild your confidence after a toxic relationship. They will help you heal the damage caused by the narcissist’s abusive behavior.

Advice

Because narcissists need constant attention, they often change lovers like a shirt. Don’t be surprised to see them move on quickly, but don’t take it for granted. They just need someone to replace you. ^{[12] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

Steps