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This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in family relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, parenting and so on. Kelli also runs groups at The Villa. The Treatment Center is for people who are recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is the host of “The Dr. Debra and Therapist Kelli Show” on LA Talk Radio, you can see her work on Instagram @kellimillertherapy and www.kellimillertherapy.com.She received her Master of Arts degree. Sociology from the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,923 times.
If you’ve ever been in a bad relationship with constant arguments, you might find it odd if your current relationship isn’t conflict-free. You feel something is wrong or anxiously wonder if things will turn out that well. Rest assured, you probably have nothing to worry about. While it’s healthy to have occasional disagreements between couples, it’s also perfectly normal to calm down in the early stages of a relationship. Furthermore, there’s a chance that you and your partner actually have a disagreement – but it’s so well resolved that you don’t realize it! In any case, if you want to know to what extent is it normal for a couple to argue and if you have any problems, you’ve come to the right place.
Steps
Is it normal for a couple to never argue?
- If it’s been a year and the two of you still have nothing to argue about, then there’s nothing to worry about. Every couple is different, and your honeymoon period may be longer than average.
- If you two start arguing after 6-12 months, don’t take it seriously. This is completely normal, and even if you feel frustrated right now, this is an important step in the development of the relationship.
- Think about how many things two people have to agree on to never argue when they’re together for a long time. From what to eat for dinner, where to rent your first apartment, when to get married, to what religion to raise your children – the two of you will have to get along on all of that. It’s unreal!
Is it sane if a couple never argues?
- It’s also possible that the two of you are still arguing all the time but don’t feel it’s a conflict. If the two of you have disagreements, even though they are not loud, it is considered an argument. Lead is what you’ve done very well!
- Talk to your partner so they know you won’t be angry if they have something on their mind. That way, you can help them open up.
- If you’re upset about something that’s long been avoided, consider jotting down how you feel and sending it to your partner. Often people are afraid to speak out loud, and many find it easier to process emotions on paper.
Is there any relationship without controversy?
- For example, if a stay-at-home person has no income and is dependent on the other for support, then it is understandable that the stay-at-home person often has to be patient to avoid conflict.
- Psychotherapy on love and marriage will be of great help to these couples. A deeply rooted unequal relationship can be very difficult to deal with without outside help.
- If you want to have a peaceful family life with less quarrels, find someone with similar beliefs and views. Similar views on politics, religion, and philosophy will help you avoid many violent arguments. [8] X Research Sources
What benefits does arguing bring to couples?
- Self-control is the ability to control yourself. Arguing is a way for people to tell the other person, “I want to control this aspect of the relationship.” This is at the heart of the couple’s power negotiation and mutual respect.
- Every couple has different conflicts, and recognizing what makes the other angry, what escalates, and what helps cool down will be an important skill at some point!
- One scenario that doesn’t fit the above statement is when you and your partner are arguing over and over again about the same issue. It’s often a sign that the two of you need to work through issues that you may not have identified.
How do I know that we’re not arguing?
- If you are someone with unmet needs, ask your partner to sit down and say, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a long time, but I’ve been hesitating, I want to…” Try to communicate in a calm and peaceful manner, and it’s okay if there’s a little friction! You will get over it.
- If you feel the other person needs something and doesn’t say it, remind them often that you just want them to be happy and that you don’t mind if they have something to say. Some people need sympathy to freely express themselves.
- If you sometimes notice that your partner seems aloof and seems angry at you about something without saying anything, remind them that they can say what they’re thinking and don’t worry about your anger. If they open up, thank them for being frank – even if their reprimands may be frustrating at the time.
- If you’re upset about something but really don’t want to argue, let your partner know! For example, “I don’t want to cause controversy because I care about your feelings, but I’m sad when you…”
How should I argue with my partner?
- For example, if you’re upset that your husband never gives you flowers, say, “I love you so much and I know you express your love to me in your own way, but I’m happy to ask you to give me flowers.” Sometimes I give you gifts.”
- This is where sentences with the subject in the first person come in handy. Statements that begin with “I never…” or “You really are…” can make the other person feel attacked. Think of the difference between “You are so messy,” and “I see a lot of times when you don’t clean up after you’re done.”
- As another example, you might get very angry when the other person doesn’t call or text back. Maybe you just want to spit out the reproach, “I care so little about you that I don’t even pick up the phone.” What will they hear here? “I don’t care about you…” Instead, you could say, “It would be great if you answer me as soon as you call or text me.”
- Contrary to popular belief, you can go to sleep angry. Sometimes, the same sleep alone can give one the time needed to cool off and work through the issues in their head. [19] X Research Source
Advice
- If you and your partner are trying to figure out how to argue effectively, see a love, marriage, and family counselor. Expert advice can help the two of you handle thorny issues in a helpful way. [20] X Research Sources
This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in family relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, parenting and so on. Kelli also runs groups at The Villa. The Treatment Center is for people who are recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is the host of “The Dr. Debra and Therapist Kelli Show” on LA Talk Radio, you can see her work on Instagram @kellimillertherapy and www.kellimillertherapy.com.She received her Master of Arts degree. Sociology from the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,923 times.
If you’ve ever been in a bad relationship with constant arguments, you might find it odd if your current relationship isn’t conflict-free. You feel something is wrong or anxiously wonder if things will turn out that well. Rest assured, you probably have nothing to worry about. While it’s healthy to have occasional disagreements between couples, it’s also perfectly normal to calm down in the early stages of a relationship. Furthermore, there’s a chance that you and your partner actually have a disagreement – but it’s so well resolved that you don’t realize it! In any case, if you want to know to what extent is it normal for a couple to argue and if you have any problems, you’ve come to the right place.
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