How to Write Condolence Cards

When someone loses a loved one, it can be difficult to know how to share their grief appropriately. How can words make a difference during this time of grief? However, sending a condolence card with a sincere message from the bottom of the heart will help the bereaved person feel cared for and loved, providing a little consolation for them during this traumatic time. Refer to Step 1 and the next steps for how to write a heartfelt condolence card.

Table of Contents

Right action

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Begin with an appropriate greeting. The most common way to start a condolence card is to start with the word “Dear.” You can also use the word “Dear,” or simply begin with the name of the bereaved. Avoid opening with “Hello” or other informal greetings – it makes the card less formal.

For the person you are writing to, use the same name as you would normally call that person. If you’re writing to a teacher you usually call “Miss Hien,” write her name on the card. If you are writing to someone you know well, use that person’s name.
If the card is intended to express condolences to the entire bereaved family and not just an individual, write down each person’s name. If you don’t know the names of everyone in the family, just write “you Sang and family.”

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Write down how you feel sorry for the person’s passing. Say that you feel sad and sorry to hear that the person has passed away, and if you know the person, mention his/her name. If you don’t know this person, you can subtly refer to them as “my mother” or “my grandfather’s grandfather,” and so on. For example:

He was sorry to hear that Mai had passed away after a long battle with cancer.
I was deeply saddened when I received the news of Hoa’s death.
No words can describe my grief when I heard that Sau passed away.

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If you don’t know this person well, consider keeping it brief. Wrapping up your card after succinctly expressing your condolences is the perfect way to send a card to someone you’re not close to. Accompanied by common phrases and not easily misunderstood. Write sentences like “always remember you with deep sympathy” or “please accept my condolences” if you want to keep the card short. It will be more special if the condolence card you are using has a printed note or poem inside. Here are a few examples of brief feelings:

You are always present in my mind.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
We are always thinking about you.
I will pray for you during this difficult time.
We will remember [the deceased] during this time of grief.
[The deceased] will always be in our minds.

Think of a special case

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Write a poignant message if you know the deceased well. Usually, you’ll have lots of memories to share and things to talk about if the person who just passed away was someone you knew. Consider writing on another piece of paper as a draft to jot down your thoughts before writing on a condolence card. Think about what you know about the deceased, and try to write honestly and naturally. Here are some examples:

Dear Nam, We are really sorry to hear that Loan has passed away. She is such a lovable and kind friend who always makes time for others, and we all love her. Loan’s students will always remember her as a dedicated teacher and role model. If you need help with errands, house cleaning, or anything, don’t hesitate to give us a call. We are here to help and our minds are always on you. My sincere condolences to your family, Hong and Hue
Dear Cuc and Tuan, We would like to express our sadness to hear that your lovely daughter has passed away after a long battle with illness. What a brave girl! We will miss her every day. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your two sons. If there’s anything we can help, don’t hesitate to call us. Best regards, Dao and Duong

Know the etiquette of sending condolence cards

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Always send condolences by card, not by email. Even if you learn of someone’s death via social media or email, it’s even more poignant if you send a card in the mail. You can buy condolence cards from the store, use a white card with a matching picture, or write your condolences on pretty paper. Condolences should be handwritten or typed in blue/black ink.

Condolences should not be sent via text message.
If sending condolences via social media or other means, you should also send a card.

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Send cards even if you intend to send flowers. Even if the bouquet comes with a small card, send a separate condolence card so you can express your sincere condolences. ^{[4] X Research Resources} This allows you to write a note and sign your name rather than using pre-printed condolences from the florist.

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Send a card even if the person is long gone. It’s best to send a card as soon as you hear of the death, a few days or weeks after the person’s death. However, you can still send cards months or even years later if you don’t know anything about the person’s death. If you don’t, the bereaved family will wonder if you really cared. While it’s a little embarrassing to send a card late, it’s definitely better than not sending it at all.

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Avoid writing too much religious content, unless your bereaved family shares your faith. Saying “I will pray for you” is perfectly fine, but copying passages from the Bible or expressing religious faith in other ways would not be appropriate for a condolence card. The recipient may not share your faith, and you don’t want them to have to follow your faith during this sensitive time. It is better to show love and sympathy in general than to show love that is confined to your religion. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, the statement “I believe he is in heaven now” would not be appropriate, as the bereaved may not believe in heaven.
However, if you and your bereaved family are of the same religion, it would be great to include religious beliefs in your condolence card.

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Don’t worry too much about saying something wrong. Trust yourself that the condolences you write will show your sincere intentions to let the recipient know how much you care for them. The act of sending a card is a thoughtful gesture and will be appreciated by the recipient. Try to write honest and empathetic lines. If you’re finding it difficult to express yourself through handwritten condolences – there are other ways to show your bereaved family that you’re still with them during this difficult time.

Advice

Send condolence cards as soon as you hear of someone passing away. You will have the opportunity to speak directly to the bereaved, but sending a card to show them that they are always on your mind is a profound way to show your respect.

Things you need

Card
Pen
Envelope

Steps

Right action

Think of a special case

Know the etiquette of sending condolence cards

Advice

Things you need

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