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This article was co-written by Amy Wong. Amy Eliza Wong is a leadership and transformation coach and co-founder of Always on Purpose – a private service for individuals and senior managers in need of assistance in increasing the quality of their personal, successful lives. transform work culture, develop leadership, and improve employee retention. With over 20 years of experience, Amy provides one-on-one coaching, seminars and speaking engagements for businesses, healthcare, nonprofits and universities. Living and working in the San Francisco Bay Area, Amy is the permanent instructor of the Stanford University graduate program. She holds a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from Sofia University, a Life Transformation Coaching certification from Sofia University, and a Smart Conversation certification from the CreatingWE Institute.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,630 times.
Having a successful romantic relationship is not easy. If you’ve ever betrayed the trust of someone you love, you can save your relationship by regaining lost trust. Show your partner that you are wholeheartedly committed to repairing your relationship. With time and attention, you will gradually be able to re-establish your partner’s trust.
Steps
Acknowledgment of One’s Betrayal
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Take responsibility for your own behavior and acknowledge the actions you’ve taken. Lying will only further erode trust and put more stress on you. If you’re not being honest, you’ll continue to worry about being found out. You should be honest and upfront to prevent future betrayal and delay the process of regaining trust. [1] X Research Source
- Being upfront will also allow you to explain your behavior in the best possible way. Your partner will probably think about the worst and others will exaggerate things too, so you should try to control your story.
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Put yourself in the opponent’s position to avoid forming a defensive state. The person you love may get upset and use negative words. Even if you know your mistake, their reaction will leave you on the defensive and blaming others. It’s important to remember that your partner is feeling a lot of pain and needs to express how they feel. [2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the source When you begin to feel the urge to defend yourself, you should imagine how you would feel if that person was the one who betrayed your trust. Friend. This method will help you accept that the person’s actions are only to express pain, rather than to attack you.
- The person you love should never abuse you no matter what mistakes you make. If your partner becomes physically aggressive, insults you, or threatens you in any way, you should leave the place immediately and seek help. [3] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Actively listen to the other party. Show that you care about the person’s thoughts and feelings by reaffirming and responding to what the person is saying. Let’s paraphrase what they say. Then, respond by stating the emotion they are expressing. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, the person might say, “I said I would be there, but I didn’t. You know how important this is to me!” .
- Repeat their words by paraphrasing, “I didn’t go there, even though I promised I would.”
- Respond by acknowledging your partner’s feelings, “You let me down”.
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Affirm the feelings of the person you love. It is important that you make the other person feel as though they are heard and understood. Your betrayal will be an act of contempt for the other person’s happiness. You should show your concern by describing the effect of your behavior on the person you love. [5] X Research Source For example, “Your behavior has hurt you/me and broken your trust”.
- Try to avoid using the phrase “I know” when talking about your partner’s feelings. Although this statement is not meant to offend, many people will probably think that you are acting “superior” to them.
Apologize to Your Spouse
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Explain why you behave this way. What made you betray that person? You are responsible for your actions, but understanding the emotions underlying your behavior can trigger empathy for your partner and help you avoid a similar situation in the future. [6] X Research Source Describe your own feelings and behavior. For example, “I felt insecure with our relationship and therefore, I sought attention from others”.
- Use statements that start with “I” to avoid unintentionally making the person feel like you’re blaming them. [7] X Research Sources
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Make a plan to behave differently in the future. This is key to helping your partner see that you will try not to hurt them in the future. Identify the cause of this behavior and the methods that can help you avoid this situation. For example, if your behavior is influenced by someone, you should not be alone with them. This includes making sure you always accompany your loved one or friend to the event he or she will be attending and leaving the place if you notice you are alone with this person.
- You should talk and solve problems with your partner.
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Be sincere. Express sincere remorse and repentance for betraying your spouse. Your partner may find it easier to trust you if they believe that you will try to stay away from your unhappy feelings in the future as atonement for your behavior. [8] X Research Sources
- Avoid making promises that you can’t or don’t intend to keep. Failure to fulfill a promise will easily make the apology appear to be insincere.
Proved itself
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Communicate clearly with your spouse. Poor communication can further contribute to betrayal; one of them is not open and honest with the other person. To ensure that this situation is remedied, you should identify the barriers that prevent you from communicating effectively and look for ways to overcome them. This will demonstrate to the person that you are completely committed not to cheat on him in the future. [9] X Research Source
- If you or someone you love doesn’t feel comfortable discussing your feelings, you should write a letter expressing your feelings and send it to each other.
- If you and your partner don’t communicate often, you should set up a time each week to dedicate to your relationship.
- If you’re having a hard time figuring out why you and your crush can’t communicate effectively, you should consider seeking help from a couple counselor. They can help you identify and solve communication problems.
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Ask about your loved one’s needs. Perhaps, you won’t know how to win back your partner’s trust. You can consult with the person about actions you can take to rebuild their trust. This could mean communicating with each other more often, spending more time together, going to a counselor, becoming more patient, or something else. You can ask your partner to guide your behavior to build trust.
- For example, you could ask, “What can I do to help you feel more secure in this relationship, and to demonstrate your loyalty?”
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Regularly call and/or text your partner. Regularly communicating with your partner will help show that you’re thinking about them. This will ease their anxiety about you doing what you like regardless of their feelings. Your partner will be more likely to trust you if they feel a connection with you. [10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- A good way to keep in touch without looking like you’re lacking in love is to text funny pictures or short descriptions of the funny interactions you’ve had with each other. for that person.
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Plan an activity that you both enjoy together without focusing on the betrayal. Once you’ve apologized and made a plan to behave differently, you should avoid wallowing in the painful event. Redirect your focus to the present moment by doing a fun activity together. [11] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source If you spend more time with someone you love, they’ll be less likely to worry about what you’ll do while you’re apart.
- Find fun things you and your loved one can do together. This method will increase the amount of time you both spend together and can help strengthen the bond between you both.
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Express gratitude towards your spouse. You should show your partner how much you appreciate them and how important the relationship is to you. When your partner sees that they are valued, they will feel more secure. [12] X Research Source
- Store appreciation notes where you know the person will see them.
- If someone shows your appreciation with a gift, be careful not to let the person you love think you’re trying to bribe them to avoid getting into trouble.
- Help the person with the housework so that he or she knows that you appreciate and appreciate the actions they take.
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Accept that it may take some time to heal. Be patient with your partner as they learn to trust you again. This process is completely out of your control, and trying to speed it up can make your partner feel that you don’t respect their feelings. [13] X Research Source
- Instead of focusing on something you can’t control (time), focus on something you can control, such as being trustworthy and consistent. [14] X Research Source
- Show your partner that you’ve made lasting changes; Don’t just try to change for a short period of time and then revert to old habits. [15] X Research Source
Warning
- Avoid blaming your partner for making you act like this. This will only hurt the relationship you already have.
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This article was co-written by Amy Wong. Amy Eliza Wong is a leadership and transformation coach and co-founder of Always on Purpose – a private service for individuals and senior managers in need of assistance in increasing the quality of their personal, successful lives. transform work culture, develop leadership, and improve employee retention. With over 20 years of experience, Amy provides one-on-one coaching, seminars and speaking engagements for businesses, healthcare, nonprofits and universities. Living and working in the San Francisco Bay Area, Amy is the permanent instructor of the Stanford University graduate program. She holds a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from Sofia University, a Life Transformation Coaching certification from Sofia University, and a Smart Conversation certification from the CreatingWE Institute.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This post has been viewed 3,630 times.
Having a successful romantic relationship is not easy. If you’ve ever betrayed the trust of someone you love, you can save your relationship by regaining lost trust. Show your partner that you are wholeheartedly committed to repairing your relationship. With time and attention, you will gradually be able to re-establish your partner’s trust.
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