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This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,614 times.
Any passion will fade over time, the question is whether you know how to warm up your relationship or not. If your sex life has been too bland lately, warm up by stimulating your sex drive in your daily life and when practicing foreplay. In addition, act more spontaneously with your lover to make the relationship more attractive. You should also be more adventurous in sex.
Steps
Create excitement and anticipation
- You can text something like, “I’m wearing your favorite shorts. I’ll help you take it off.”
- Stick a love note on the mirror, on the bedside table, on the steering wheel or in your briefcase. You can write something like, “I look forward to seeing you tonight,” or “I have a surprise for you.”
- Say things like “I want you so much”, or “You look so hot without a shirt”,….
- You might say, “I’ve always wanted to be tied down during sex. What about you?” or “I want to be a pirate and I’m trying to get you”.
- Don’t force him/her to follow your imagination. Likewise, don’t force yourself to act in a way you don’t like. Try to find fantasies that you both like, and don’t make fun of each other about being different.
- For example, have a romantic dinner together, walk under the sunset sky, and cuddle while watching a movie.
- Cooking dinner together is a popular option, and playing with food is a way to flirt.
- Go camping in the park or on the beach.
- Go to sporting events or concerts.
- Do something that requires exercise or adventure, like rock climbing or ziplining. If it’s winter, you can go ice skating.
- Light the candles and let the lights dim.
- Use colored light such as a red bulb.
- Play music that creates a seductive atmosphere like music by Marvin Gaye, Al Green or Usher.
- Spread rose petals around the room.
- Try kissing along your lover’s neck, chest, arms, and body.
- Slowly undress each other.
- Incorporate foreplay into your daily routine to stay interested. For example, squeeze your lover’s butt when you walk past her in the kitchen, or caress her skin when you’re watching a movie together.
Elvina Lui, MFT
Marriage and family therapist
Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
Marriage and family therapist
Be careful not to have sex that only makes your partner happy, but doesn’t satisfy you. If this is the case, incorporate activities that give you satisfaction. This isn’t limited to sexual acts for orgasm, I mean more cuddling and talking, more cuddling, or any combination of actions to increase bonding.
Random action
- Go eat at a new restaurant.
- Do something special on a weeknight instead of just staying at home.
- Secretly plan to go out to dinner, to the movies, to the theater or to a music show.
- Book a hotel room for an emotional evening.
- You can choose something sweet like their favorite cake, or something naughty like a handcuff or blindfold (used as a sex toy). Use your creativity!
- If your budget is comfortable, you can organize a luxurious trip, like spending the weekend in a lakeside house, or renting a honeymoon room in a hotel.
- If you don’t have a lot of money, organize a spoiled camp or change houses with another couple for the weekend.
- For example, the two of you could do a quick train ride before work or during lunch.
- Don’t worry about having to undress because sex without all of your clothes is more enjoyable. Just undress just enough to have sex and enjoy being spoiled with your partner.
- You can do things like feed ducks at the park, water gun each other, rearrange your house, or learn how to make espresso. It doesn’t matter what you do! The point is that the two of you will stay together and do out-of-the-ordinary things.
Adventure in sex life
- Surprise your spouse when they come home.
- Wear sexy lingerie underneath to let your spouse know that you also enjoy flirting.
- Wear sexy lingerie to bed.
- Dress provocatively the way your lover likes it.
- Take a photo of yourself in your underwear to send to your lover.
- Relations on the table in the living room.
- Outdoor relations if the yard is surrounded by a fence.
- Park your car in a deserted place and pretend you two are high school students.
- Handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds.
- Blindfold each other while doing the foreplay.
- Use a gag and whip if the two of you prefer.
- Use a prosthesis to increase pleasure.
- Try using the anal button if the two of you like it.
Elvina Lui, MFT
Marriage and family therapist
Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
Marriage and family therapist
It doesn’t matter what they use, as long as they can help you and your lover achieve orgasm. The two of you can explore oral sex, manual stimulation, and vibrator use. This may or may not be important to either of you, which is why you need to have an open and cooperative conversation.
- Doctor and patient.
- Police and robbers.
- The maid and the hostess.
- The pizza delivery guy and the landlady.
Tip: Wear the right clothes for the role to create a more attractive feeling. For example, wear a white blouse over provocative underwear if you’re a doctor.
- Pour chocolate or fresh cream on your body and then lick it off.
- Bring grapes or strawberries to each other to eat.
- Use lotion or edible underwear, or cover yourself with buttercream to add more appeal to oral sex.
- For example, watch a movie with a script that you both enjoy, like the delivery guy and the landlady are in a depressed mood.
- Respect your lover if they don’t like adult movies. If they don’t like it, then porn can damage the relationship.
- Roll the Dice: Buy two sex dice or assign meaning to each side of the regular dice. Then roll the dice to see what you have to do for your lover. For example, 1 is kissing, 2 is nipple licking, 3 is genital licking, 4 is tying up your partner, 5 is licking off their body cream, and 6 is slapping their ass.
- Play hide and seek with candy: Take turns playing hide and seek with small candies. For example, blindfold your lover and ask them to use their mouths to find 3 candies hidden on your body.
- Play Undressing Poker: Take off your clothes piece by piece each time you lose. The loser will have to take the initiative to have a relationship.
- For example, you will blindfold your lover and lead somewhere else. Next, you can have them sit in a chair and use different objects to touch their skin, like ice cubes, fork tips, and warm candle wax.
Advice
- Always listen to your partner’s needs, concerns, or desires.
- Always communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
- Take risks and get out of your comfort zone a little.
- Respect the limits set by your partner.
- If you’re considering aphrodisiac products such as pills, creams or aphrodisiacs, it’s a good idea to research safety and effectiveness in advance.
Warning
- Don’t force your partner to do something they don’t like.
This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,614 times.
Any passion will fade over time, the question is whether you know how to warm up your relationship or not. If your sex life has been too bland lately, warm up by stimulating your sex drive in your daily life and when practicing foreplay. In addition, act more spontaneously with your lover to make the relationship more attractive. You should also be more adventurous in sex.
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