How to Understand Yourself

Understanding yourself is an important step for everyone on the path to finding happiness and peace. To get to know who you really are, you need to recognize the qualities that make you special. A daily routine of stillness and reflection can help you gradually gain a better understanding of who you are. Time passes, and you can build on what you’ve discovered to build a deep and meaningful relationship with yourself.

Table of Contents

Self awareness

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Learn to be honest with yourself. Understanding yourself means recognizing different aspects of your nature, identity, and personality. The point here is not to criticize yourself, but to acknowledge every aspect of your personality. Be open to the possibility of discovering new things about yourself.

When evaluating yourself, pay attention to factors that make you feel uncomfortable. These emotional cues indicate whether you are avoiding a problem. Do you feel insecure about that? If so, what can you do to overcome it?
For example, if you hate looking in the mirror, ask yourself why. Are you lacking confidence in your appearance? Worried about your age? You may wonder if you can overcome this fear.

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Inquire yourself with contemplative questions. This will help you understand what factors make you happy or stressed. You can use this information to try to spend more time on activities and goals that benefit you. You can ask yourself the following questions: ^{[1] X Research Sources}

What do you love to do?
What dreams do you have in life?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
The biggest thing you blame yourself for?
What mistakes have you made?
How do others feel about you? How do you want them to think of you?
Who are the role models you admire?

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Listen to your inner voice. Your inner voice expresses what you feel and believe. It will respond when something makes you happy or disappointed. Try to fit in with that voice. What is it telling you? How is it feeling about the world around you? ^{[2] X Research Source}

Look at yourself in the mirror. Start describing yourself by saying it out loud or in your head. Is what you describe about yourself as positive or negative? Do they target your looks or actions? Are you talking about your own success or failure?
When negative thoughts start to pop into your head, tell yourself to stop and ask yourself why you’re reacting the way you do. Self-loathing and self-criticism can be a sign that you are on the defensive against unwanted thoughts.
These positive and negative thoughts are the images you see of yourself. If that image doesn’t match the person you want to be, you can take steps to improve yourself or learn new traits.

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Write a diary every day. Journaling will help you recognize your motivations, feelings, and beliefs so you can make adjustments and make profound changes in your life. Every day, take a few minutes to jot down the things you did, the thoughts, and the feelings you went through that day. If you have had a negative experience, write down why it affected you. If you’ve made a mistake, identify what you could do better. ^{[3] X Trusted Source University of Rochester Medical Center Go to Source}

Find the rules in your diary pages. Over time, you may find yourself repeating certain needs and wants over and over again.
You can jot down any thought in your mind. Freelance writing will help you free up your subconscious thoughts, so you can identify what’s bothering you.
Alternatively, you can use the suggested sentences to keep a journal. Choose prompts that ask you to describe certain aspects of your personality and habits.

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Incorporate mindfulness in everyday life. Mindfulness is paying attention to experience the present moment to understand one’s thoughts and actions. Mindfulness is often associated with daily meditation practice, but it includes other factors as well. Above all, it is about focusing on yourself and the world you live in. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Take a few seconds to experience the five senses. What are you feeling, hearing, seeing, tasting and smelling?
Avoid eating while watching TV. Stop everything else and just focus on the meal. Enjoy the taste, texture, temperature and feel of every bite.
Take a few minutes each day to just pause and observe the things around you. Try to perceive things through as many senses as possible.
When you have an emotional reaction, ask yourself. Why do you feel that way? What caused that feeling?

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Determine how you feel about your appearance. Write down adjectives that describe your appearance. When you have finished listing, review what you have written. Are those traits positive or negative? If you find yourself having negative thoughts about your appearance, try to find ways to love your body. Confidence in your appearance can help you feel more confident in other areas of your life as well. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Try to see the positive instead of the negative. For example, if you are always bothered about a mole on your face, call it a charm mole. Remember that many movie stars also have such charming moles.
Consider things that you can change to some extent if they bother you. If you’re always bothered by acne, you can visit a dermatologist or learn how to use makeup.

Discover your personality

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Define your roles. We all play many roles in our lives based on our personal relationships, work responsibilities, and social interactions. Once you’ve listed your roles, write down what each role means to you. Some examples can be mentioned: ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Parents
Friend
Leader
Spiritual support person
Mentor/sponsor
Soulmate
Creator
Problem solver

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Write down the important aspects of your life (VITALS). VITALS are the abbreviations of English words, including Value (values), Interests (interests), Temperament (character), Activities (activity), Life goals (goals in life). , and Strengths. Try to identify each item for yourself and write it down in your notebook or on your computer. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Values: What is important to you? What qualities in you and in others do you value? What motivates you to accomplish something?
Interests: What topics are you curious about? What do you like to do in your spare time? What can fascinate you?
Personality: Think of 10 words that describe your personality traits.
Activity: How did your day go? What times of the day do you like and dislike the most? Do you have any daily rituals?
Goals in life: What are the most important events in your life? Why? Where do you envision yourself in the next five years? And ten years from now?
Strengths: What are your abilities, skills, and talents? What are you really good at?

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Take the online personality test. While these tests are not scientific, they do ask you questions that force you to consider different aspects of your personality. There are many highly rated quizzes that you can find online, including: ^{[8] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to source}

Meyers-Brigg Type Indicator
Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI)
Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment
Big 5 Personality Assessment

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Find other people’s reviews. While you shouldn’t judge yourself by other people’s comments, asking for their opinion can help you understand traits you might not have noticed.

Start by asking loved ones how they identify your personality or personality.
If you’re comfortable, ask your supervisor, mentor, or acquaintances how they view your personality.
If you don’t agree with someone’s comment, that’s okay too! Those comments don’t define who you are, and you may find additional recognition from others.

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Rate your satisfaction with the results achieved. After assessing your character and personality, look back on what you’ve learned to see if you’re satisfied with yourself. Do those values and attributes align with the person you aspire to be? If the answer is yes, find ways to extend or develop those features. If not, make an effort to set goals for yourself to improve. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Use your strengths to have fun. For example, if you find yourself creative and interested in crafts, you could take an art class or create a new craft.
If you want to improve in some way, use what you know about yourself to create a personal plan. For example, if you find yourself an introvert but want to socialize more, you can learn to socialize in small groups. By balancing time for yourself and time with others, you will have an enjoyable social life that works for you.

Meet your own needs

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Practice taking care of yourself. If you’re overwhelmed with work and pressure, it’s hard to find time to reflect on yourself. It is important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. By practicing self-care, you will feel more at peace with who you are. ^{[10] X Trusted Source National Alliance on Mental Illness Go to Source}

Create a daily exercise routine. You can spend 20 minutes doing cardio exercises or going for a brisk walk.
Get enough 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
Eat healthy, with a diet rich in fresh vegetables and whole grains.
Find time to relax every day. You can meditate or do something relaxing like knitting, solving puzzles, or reading a book.

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Work-life balance. Don’t judge yourself based on your career or career advancement. Taking pride in your career is a good thing, but you should try to find space for yourself outside of work. Avoid taking work home. Take time each day to focus on other goals, interests, and pastimes. ^{[11] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source}

Work is important, but you should also prioritize your health and happiness.
Set boundaries to make sure work doesn’t interfere with your other relationships. For example, don’t respond to non-urgent emails outside of business hours.

Steps

Self awareness

Discover your personality

Meet your own needs

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