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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,329 times.
The term “man’s ego” is used a lot in everyday conversations without a clear definition. To understand how a man’s ego shapes a man’s thoughts and behavior, it is important to pay attention to the ways in which it is built in society. In other words, much of what we consider to be the “man’s ego” is based on long-standing assumptions and stereotypes about masculinity in society, and most importantly, they are assimilatedly adopted. unconsciously by most men.
Steps
Understand the relationship between self and society
- In other words, the male ego is not only a reflection of the individual selves, but also a cultural definition of masculinity and ideas about how men should think and act. Thus, the identity of men is shaped by social influence. After all, humans are social! [3] X Research Sources
- To understand men’s egos, you need to understand how society shapes men’s expectations of themselves. This is important because many men have found ways to cope with certain social needs. In many cases, men don’t realize how society affects them. For example, most men don’t really know how they became sports fans or think that blue, green, and gray are for men while pink and blue are for men. purple is for women.
- For example, in most of the American community, the typical male role is understood and described in terms of active, active, as opposed to passive terms. Men are brave, strong, competitive, independent, and steadfast (in contrast, women are passive, emotional, weak, and more inclined to conform to society). As another example, men in many Western communities are expected to avoid showing affection. Remember the old saying “Boys don’t cry?” Instead, men are supposed to be courageous and strong in the face of personal challenges, such as loss, grief, and grief. [7] X Research Sources[8] X Research Sources Levant et al (1992). The male rpe: An investigation of norms and stereotypes. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 14, 325-337.
- It is important to find out how each individual man feels and reacts to these societal expectations of how men should be because they will vary from person to person and from case to case. .
Good handling of men’s egos
- This can be interpreted as the man in your life can remain resilient when someone important to him passes away.
- Because anger is a form of affection that men accept they are more likely to express, in many cases, instead of being upset, they will get angry. [10] X Research Source
- If your man has a reaction that is confusing to you, keeping in mind his social background will help you understand his reaction. He also has feelings, but he is taught not to show them, because it is seen as a sign of weakness.
- Because of emotional restraint, your man runs the risk of not being able to discuss what he’s feeling. If he’s willing to talk to you, understand that this takes practice and time.
- Realize that suppressing emotions is not unique to men. Women also restrain their emotions. Women also need to find ways to express their feelings in effective ways. Just because it is thought that women show more affection, this doesn’t mean that’s always the case. No one is born with the ability to know how to express love in an effective and meaningful way. It’s a must-learn skill for both men and women. [12] X Research Source
- It’s important to avoid making assumptions about men and prejudging their behavior based on your gender roles and expectations. For example, don’t assume that he likes sports, or that he likes to drink beer and hates “female movies”, these are common stereotypes about men. Furthermore, get to know the man in your life on a personal level, as opposed to approaching him based on what you think you understand about men in general. After all, he is just a human being just like you and has his own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
- For example, if a man suddenly interrupts a conversation to say that he thinks professional women’s sport isn’t worth anyone’s time watching, don’t blame his comment. I give the essence of man. Try to understand that he lives in a world where women’s sport is really NOT as appreciated as men’s. In many ways, this attitude is not surprising; Both men and women are taught by society that men’s sports are more important than women’s. The problem is not with the individual man, but with society as a whole and the way society talks about men, women, and their gender roles. [14] X Research Source
- Empathy can be an important step in the transition. Once you understand that his behavior has been influenced by social expectations and norms, you can start a conversation to challenge progress. For example, it might start with the topic of why we don’t appreciate female athletes as much as male athletes in major sports. What kind of social cues have led us to think that women’s sports are not so important, like news levels, wages, etc.?
- Sympathy can also take the form of testing your immediate reaction at times when a male boyfriend, father, or friend or family member expresses things that are inconsistent with gender stereotypes. count. For example, if he mentions that he really enjoys going to the ballet, which is instinctively based on the traditional normative rule of gender, you might consider this “feminine” and even Not even manly. Instead, examine these reactions and keep in mind that you may also be a part of the problem in man’s ego building.
- If he talks a lot of sexist jokes that disparages women and portrays men as high, then you’ll have a harder time lowering his male ego. The first step is to have a proper conversation about the non-funny nature of those jokes and ask him why he says them. Hopefully he’ll realize that those jokes aren’t funny and that he’s only saying them because other men have. Getting men to understand their behavior and pay attention to what they do will reflect mostly unconscious motivations that can help them become more conscious of what they say and do.
- Chat and get to know each other. Share personal information about your past, stories that give you an idea of who you are, how you grew up, and the events that made you who you are. Ask your man to trade; you might be surprised at his candor and how over time the basis of aggressive masculinity disappears to reveal his true nature. Maybe he’ll confess that he cried while watching The Notebook or that he hates all sports arranged, which have no association with traditional masculinity.
- In other words, as he feels more trusting and open to you, he can openly talk about some instances where he both loves and hates certain aspects of supposed gender roles. he must obey. This will serve as another method for more intimate communication.
Know yourself like a man
- Discrepancy Strain – When a person fails to meet the normative norm of typical gender. For example, maybe a man is experiencing depression and decides to seek help. This is inconsistent with the notion that “men should suffer”.
- Trauma Strain – When a person experiences a traumatic event during gender-appropriate socialization. For example, maybe a man who is experiencing depression is partly related to his father “who prefers to be friends with men than with women”, who is very strict and has taught him that “son do not Cry”.
- Dysfunction Strain – When a person fulfills a gender role that could cause danger or damage. For example, if a man does not seek treatment for his depression because it is based on the belief that men do not need help, the depression is likely to continue and even get worse.
- For example, eating disorders are increasingly common among men because of societal pressures on men to be fit, healthy, and athletic. Men who are not proportioned in this ‘perfect’ body type have a feeling of low self-worth and thus punish their bodies for not being perfect. [20] X Research Source
- Note that because self-reliance is typically part of a man’s ego, men often don’t ask for the help they need. [21] X Research Source
- They change themselves to meet social expectations . Changing a person’s personal identity is not easy, and in many cases men do it to realize the benefits of conforming to social expectations. For men, these benefits are numerous, including acceptance from other men, enhanced self-esteem, and enhanced social status, relative to others.
- They reject social expectations . In this case, men who don’t follow social pressure can suffer negative consequences, such as disapproval from other men, lower status, and less chance of having a relationship. more socially and emotionally. For this reason, most men do not choose this option and instead find it easier to conform to the traditional normative rule of gender and then deal with the inconsistency. (and not always in a sane way).
- They redirect social expectations . While this is the ideal choice and one that can make a positive difference in society, it is very difficult to make. Normative gender norms are firmly established in our society, and trying to redirect them is no easy task. However, there has been success before, like the increasing acceptance of homosexuality and transgender people.
- For example, in a crisis or emergency situation and in some forms of work, the ability to “keep calm” and “make a calm judgment” is of great value. This skill is useful in a number of careers from emergency room nurses to Fortune 500 managers (the 500 largest US companies by gross income per worker). They are also valuable life skills that help us care for and support others, such as parents, friends, and community members. [23] X Research Sources
- The main challenge here is to value certain knowledge and skills as essential, fundamental elements of the male ego without making them the only way we act. For example, it can be helpful in some ways for a man to stay calm and not let his emotions rule him, in many other cases it is important to express and deal with his feelings. Therefore, try to cultivate some strength in the male role without following it wholeheartedly or without thinking carefully. [24] X Research Sources
- You have grown up and joined the society in which you live. Even when you realize how much your person lives on social influences, this doesn’t mean you have to start over – in fact, this is basically impossible because the idea of Gender roles are ingrained in every aspect of the society in which we live!
- It is thought that once you understand that gender roles are a constructive product of society, you will become a more discerning observer of your own thoughts and behaviour. You can incorporate aspects of a man’s nature that you feel are uplifting (such as living with goals or leadership), and denying things that are harmful to your health or well-being. happiness of others, such as the need to dominate others or view emotions as weak.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,329 times.
The term “man’s ego” is used a lot in everyday conversations without a clear definition. To understand how a man’s ego shapes a man’s thoughts and behavior, it is important to pay attention to the ways in which it is built in society. In other words, much of what we consider to be the “man’s ego” is based on long-standing assumptions and stereotypes about masculinity in society, and most importantly, they are assimilatedly adopted. unconsciously by most men.
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