How to Turn Infatuation into True Love

People often have a feeling of ecstasy and ecstasy when they first enter a love relationship, but the feeling in the first few months is often just infatuation rather than true love. If you find yourself infatuated or obsessed with your significant other, there’s nothing to worry about! There are ways that you can make that initial fluttering feeling deepen and eventually turn into true love.

Table of Contents

Accept your lover and their flaws.

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You can’t change your lover, and that’s okay. True love means that you still love despite knowing that your partner is not perfect, just like you. Don’t try to change your lover, but love him or her for who they are right now. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If you find it hard to love your partner’s flaws, remind yourself that you have flaws too.

Talk about the future with your lover.

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Talk about what you both want in life and see if it matches up. The two of you can talk about marriage, children, where you live, and what you want to do in the future. These things will help make your relationship based on reality instead of fantasy, where people are often infatuated with each other. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Your future goals don’t have to be the same, but at least they should. For example, if you want to live abroad for a year and your lover loves to travel, the two of you can compromise and only go on a trip for about 6 months.

Talk to each other about all matters.

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Good relationships are often based on open communication. If any problems arise, the two of you need to raise them immediately so that both of you can work it out. Don’t hold back or hope it goes away on its own, as this treatment rarely works. ^{[3] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

You can raise the issue by saying something like, “Hey, can we talk for a minute? I want to talk to you about this.”

Stick together by common interests.

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What things do you and your lover do together? Watching TV at home is fine, but it’s important to find a few activities that you both enjoy. If you can’t think of one right away, try a few activities until you find something you both enjoy. ^{[4] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

For example, you both love going out. You can try asking your partner to go hiking once a week to increase the bond between the two of you.
If you don’t have a common hobby, try joining a club or group to find a new hobby, such as cycling or board games.

Get to know your lover on a deeper level.

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Ask the person about their hopes, dreams, and goals. Get to know your lover’s inner personality instead of just being superficial. The more you get to know that person, the more likely you are to truly love them. You can ask questions like: ^{[5] X Research Sources}

“Who are you closest to in the family?”
“What is your favorite childhood memory?”
“What do you imagine 10 years from now?”
“What is your biggest goal in life?”

Do not rush to make important decisions.

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Getting married, having children, and moving into the same house are things that shouldn’t be rushed. Do not make such important decisions until you fully understand your feelings for that person. The two of you can talk about the future, but you shouldn’t rush to do anything right now. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

If you’ve made an important decision with your lover, that’s okay. Don’t make any more decisions before the passion turns to love.

Let your family and friends know about your lover.

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Tell your loved ones about your lover to bring them into your life. Let those closest to you know that you are romantically involved with a very likable person. Show everyone your photos and tell about your lover so everyone can congratulate you. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

When it feels like the right time, you can recommend the person to your friends and family.

Become a part of that person’s life.

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Meet your lover’s friends and go out together. Try to fit in with your partner’s life instead of each living his own life. The more realistic your relationship is built on, the more likely you are to find happiness with your partner. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you can go out with your lover with their friends to meet your lover’s acquaintances.
You can also bring your partner coffee to work to visit their office.

Officially publicize the relationship.

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Officially go public so that the relationship becomes a reality. Delete dating apps and tick “in a relationship” on social media. When you confirm the relationship status, there is a high chance that you have real love for the person. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If you have not determined a relationship with that person, do not hesitate to do it right away. Talk to each other and find an agreement as soon as possible to avoid emotional damage later.

Hold on to your hopes, dreams, and goals.

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Don’t give up what you want for a new lover. If your goals don’t match, then you probably aren’t the right match. Keep pursuing your dreams in life and don’t forget to support them in your lover’s goals. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, if you want to settle down and start a family, but your partner wants to travel the world, perhaps you need to talk to them about your wishes to see if you can compromise.
If you give up your dreams for your lover, you may resent them later.

Maintain friendships.

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It is easy to forget about friends when immersed in a new love. Call and text your friends often and try to hang out with them too. We often spend a lot of time with our loved ones, but everyone needs time alone to nurture a friendship. ^{[11] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

If you’re going out with a group of friends, bring your lover along! Your friends will also be happy to meet your lover.

Talk to your lover about your compatibility.

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Does your lover bring out your best qualities? Conversely, do you help your lover reveal their strengths? If the two of you don’t get along very well or often quarrel over trifles, then perhaps your initial infatuation will never turn into love. Take an objective look at your relationship and look out for warning signs that you might not have noticed at first. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Ignorance often blinds one to the negative aspects of the other. As the infatuation fades, you may notice things you didn’t see at first.
You may realize that you and your lover are not meant for each other, and that’s okay too. If so, talk to them and consider ending the relationship.

Advice

Family and friends can give you an outsider’s opinion if you’re not sure if you’re really in love or just infatuated with someone.

Steps