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This article was co-written by Tami Claytor. Tami Claytor is an etiquette teacher, image consultant, and owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York City, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in organizing etiquette classes for individuals, students, companies and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying culture through travels across five continents and organizes cultural diversity seminars to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a bachelor’s degree in economics with a major in international relations from Clark University. Tami attended Ophelia DeVore School and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her certification as an image consultant.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 29,537 times.
Have you ever felt warm and happy when someone sincerely thanked you for what you did for them? You’re not the only one who feels it. Imagine how wonderful it would be to know that you also gave someone that warm and happy feeling because you thanked them. As human beings, we appreciate being appreciated. Saying ‘thank you’ openly and sincerely not only makes you happier, it also makes you healthier and more energetic. So the next time someone does something for you, big or small, take a moment to thank them. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Thanks Make Everything Easier
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Smile and make eye contact. If you say ‘thank you’ directly, remember to always smile and make eye contact with the person you’re thanking. Small gestures add a great deal of sincerity to the ‘thank you.’ [2] X Research Source
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Say thank you in a simple way. Expressing your gratitude to someone is a wonderful thing. Rushing to say ‘thank you’ to them and then getting back to your own business is a bit overwhelming, and can lead to embarrassment for the person you’re trying to say thank you to. Keep your gratitude simple, focused, and fun. [3] X Research Sources
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Always be sincere in your thanks. You should only thank someone when you are truly and sincerely grateful for what they have done. You shouldn’t thank someone just because you were told to, or you feel it’s the right thing to do. Insincere gratitude often manifests itself very clearly and is not appreciated. [4] X Research Sources
- This is especially important for those working in the retail industry where they feel it is imperative to thank customers on a regular basis. If you don’t show sincerity in your thank you, customers may perceive it. Even if it’s your job to thank the customer, you can still show sincerity.
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Write a short letter or thank you card. There are special circumstances that require more than just saying ‘thank you’ directly, for example being invited to dinner, being given a gift, etc. When such situations arise, a ‘thank you’ is written. paper out is very important. Anyone who has been treated with such kindness deserves the same in return, and writing a note or card to say ‘thank you’ is the best way to show that you truly appreciate those things. what they did for you. [5] X Research Sources
- If you decide to write a card, a white card is the best choice for situations like these. White cards allow you to write concise, customizable short messages.
- Whatever the word ‘thank you’, you should give a clear reason why you write ‘thank you’.
- Email can also be seen as useful, but you should avoid emailing in these situations. Email is really not as sincere and meaningful as a handwritten letter or card.
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Avoid delegating. Never ask someone to send you a ‘thank you’ letter, do it yourself. A ‘thank you’ wouldn’t be sincere if it wasn’t sent directly from you. [6] X Research Sources
- If you’re super busy and don’t have a lot of free time, make some ‘thank you’ cards ready and carry them with you at all times. Or buy a few boxes of white cards to keep in the desk drawer.
Planning Thanks
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Use a sample ‘thank you’. If you’re having a hard time figuring out how to say ‘thank you’ to someone, or what to write on a ‘thank you’ card, try using the who , what , and when template . [7] X Research Sources
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Make a list of the people you need to thank. Start the ‘thank you’ process by making a list of everyone to whom you need to send a ‘thank you’ card. For example, if it’s your birthday and you get a lot of presents, write a list of the people who gave you gifts (and what they gave you). This list should include the names of the people who helped you plan the event (for example, a birthday party). [8] X Research Sources
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Write down what you are grateful for. There are a total of six basic parts to a ‘thank you’ written on a personal card including greetings, gratitude expressions, details, plans for next time, reminders, and friendly greetings. [9] X Research Source
- The greeting is very simple. A ‘thank you’ card starts with the name of the person you want to say it to. If it is a formal ‘thank you’ card, greet them politely (e.g. Dear Mr. Dung), if a relative or friend, greet them cordially (e.g. Dear Mom Love).
- Expressing gratitude is the part where you thank someone for what they have done. The easiest is to start with two words ‘thank you.’ But you can also be as creative as you want (e.g. The birthday present you gave yourself made my day great).
- Details are the part you need to write clearly. Adding specific details about why you are thanking the person will make the card more sincere and personable. You may want to mention the specific gift you received, or if you received the money what would you use it for, etc.
- The plan for next time is the part where you will mention the next time you meet and talk to them. For example, if you are sending a ‘thank you’ letter to your grandparents and you plan to visit them for Christmas, mention that.
- A repeat is the part where you’ll end the ‘thank you’ in your letter with another thank you message. You can write another thank you note (e.g. Thank you for your generosity, I’m going to college soon and the money will help me a lot) or you can simply say: say ‘thank you’ one more time.
- The friendly greeting is similar to the greeting except this time you will sign the letter. Depending on the recipient of this thank you, you’ll want to end it in a formal (e.g. Sincerely) or informal (e.g., Regards).
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Plan when to give thanks. Most ‘thank you’ cards and letters should be sent within a month of the event, the sooner the better. If you are late you can always start your ‘thank you’ letter with a reason why it took longer than expected. [10] X Research Source
- If you’re sending out a ‘thank you’ card for a big event with lots of people in attendance, plan to set aside some time each day to write a ‘thank you’ letter to everyone.
Perfect Manners
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Be aware of the ‘thank you’ etiquette. Different occasions and events require different ‘thank you’ etiquette. Although there is no rule that you must follow these principles, it has become a tradition. Usually people will send a ‘thank you’ letter or card for the following reasons: [11] X Research Source
- Receive gifts, including money. Maybe it’s a birthday, anniversary, graduation, housewarming, holiday, etc.
- Attend a dinner party or special occasion (e.g. Thanksgiving) at someone’s home.
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Send a ‘thank you’ card within 3 months of the wedding. It is customary to send a ‘thank you’ card to everyone who has done the following for your wedding. And it’s also important to send the card within 3 months of the event, although it’s easier to send the thank you card immediately after receiving the gift rather than after the wedding is over. [12] X Research Source
- People who have given gifts for an engagement, bridal party, or wedding, including those who give cash gifts.
- Wedding facilitator (e.g. bridesmaid, main bridesmaid, florist, etc.).
- The person who organized the party for you (e.g. bridal party, engagement party, etc.).
- The person who helped you plan or run the wedding, including the caterer to make the party a success (e.g. wedding baker, florist, decorator, chef, etc.). .).
- Anyone who wholeheartedly helped you with the preparation and planning of the wedding party (e.g. the neighbor who cut the lawn for you, etc.).
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Write a short ‘thank you’ letter for the interview. If you have been interviewed for a job, internship, or volunteering position, you should send a short letter or ‘thank you’ card to the interviewer as soon as possible after the interview is over. [13] X Research Source
- Be sure to personalize your card or letter when you write about your interview for a particular job, and don’t forget to mention the unique features of that interview.
- Make sure you spell everyone’s name correctly. There’s nothing worse than sending a ‘thank you’ letter after an interview and then misspelled the interviewer’s name.
- Use a formal greeting in a ‘thank you’ letter unless the interviewer introduces himself by name and insists on you calling them that.
- In the case of sending a ‘thank you’ letter for an interview, it is better to send a personal email than a handwritten letter or card. This is a better option if it is difficult or time consuming to deliver the letter or card to the interviewer.
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Write a ‘thank you’ letter to the person awarding the scholarship or grant. Getting any financial support at university or college is great. Many scholarships and grants for students come from donations. Whether it’s a donation from an individual, family, influential person or organization, sending a ‘thank you’ letter for sponsoring you is a great way to show your appreciation. [14] X Research Source
- If scholarships and grants are awarded through the school, the department responsible for selecting recipients can assist you in obtaining an address to send a ‘thank you’ letter.
- Since these are people you don’t know, write your ‘thank you’ letter in a formal and polite way, rather than in a more informal way.
- Before sending your letter, be sure to check (and should double check) for no spelling or grammatical errors. You will probably need someone else to read through the mail in case you miss something.
- The ‘thank you’ letter used in this situation is best sent in a business letter format written on fine paper, as opposed to a regular handwritten letter.
Expressed gratitude
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Understand what gratitude is. Gratitude is a bit different from the usual ‘thank you’. Gratitude is gratitude combined with respect, and in addition courtesy, generosity, and appreciation. It’s like taking care of others more than yourself. Expressing your gratitude to others can help make a positive impact on certain situations and can even change their behavior. [15] X Research Source
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Write a gratitude journal. The first step to expressing gratitude to others is understanding what you are truly grateful for. Recording things you are grateful for in a journal is a great way to help yourself understand how you feel about yourself and the people around you. Journaling can take just a few minutes a day to make a list of the 3 things you are most grateful for in that moment. [16] X Research Source
- You can use gratitude journaling ideas to help your children develop an understanding of gratitude and gratitude. Help them write 3 things they are grateful for every night before going to bed. If the kids are still young and can’t write yet, you can let them draw things they’re grateful for.
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Express gratitude at least 5 times a day. Challenge yourself to express gratitude in some way 5 times a day. Your gratitude should be expressed to everyone, not just to family members and friends. If you think for a moment, you will find that there are many people helping you every day who probably never heard a word of thanks for what they did, like bus drivers, receptionists, telemarketers. phone callers, door openers, bus seat attendants, cleaners, etc. [17] X Research Source
- When expressing gratitude, remember to say their name (if you know it), what you are thanking them for, and why you are thanking them. For example, “Thanks for waiting for Dung’s elevator, I was worried I’d be late for the meeting, now it’s definitely time!”
- If for some objective reason you cannot express your gratitude directly, express it in your head or write it down. [18] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source
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Find new ways to show gratitude. Gratitude can be expressed not only in ordinary ways (for example, saying thank you), but also in many other ways. From now on, find new ways to show your gratitude to someone by doing something you’ve never done before, or haven’t done in a while. [19] X Research Source
- For example: Make dinner when you see your partner exhausted from work; take care of the children for one night so that the husband/wife can go out; volunteer to be a driver; accept Christmas party for this year, etc..
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Teach young children about gratitude. You must have been reminded by your parents to say ‘thank you’ when someone gave you a present or candy when you were a child. Being thankful and grateful isn’t always something that pops up in the minds of kids, but it’s important for them to follow. The following great four-step method can be used to teach your child about gratitude: [20] X Research Source
- Talk to the kids about gratitude, what gratitude is, and why it’s important. Use your own words and give more examples.
- Show your gratitude skills to the kids. You can do this as an exercise or in ‘real life.’
- Help your child practice expressing gratitude to others. If you have more than one child, have the children lead each other and give each other feedback.
- Constantly encourage the children to learn to be grateful. Give them positive praise when they do something well.
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Avoid just saying thank you to people who are nice to you. Even though it’s difficult, you need to show gratitude even to those who annoy you. Remember to be patient when doing this, and avoid being misunderstood as being mocking others. [21] X Research Source
- People who push you into a corner may have a completely different perspective on things than you do. Whether you agree or disagree with that perspective, they are still valid opinions. Be grateful that they shared their point of view with you and you learned to look at the situation from a different perspective.
- Even if they annoy you, they still have something to admire. They may be very annoying, but are always on time or very organized. Focus on the positive when talking to these people.
- Consider the reality when dealing with these annoying people that you are teaching yourself new skills. Be grateful that you are learning to be patient and calm in frustrating situations.
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Realize that gratitude has many benefits for you. Being grateful and showing that gratitude can have an amazing effect on you and those around you. Gratitude leads you to happiness, happy people are often the ones who are overflowing with gratitude. Being grateful by someone can make you feel great. Thinking about making you grateful helps you focus on the positive things in life and forget about the negative. [22] X Research Source
- Spending time writing about something you’re grateful for before bed can help you sleep better. Not only do you use that little moment before bed to think positive thoughts, but you also write them down. [23] X Research Sources
- Gratitude often makes you more empathetic. This is probably because grateful people often focus on positive emotions instead of negative, so they don’t get too angry when someone treats them badly.
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This article was co-written by Tami Claytor. Tami Claytor is an etiquette teacher, image consultant, and owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York City, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in organizing etiquette classes for individuals, students, companies and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying culture through travels across five continents and organizes cultural diversity seminars to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a bachelor’s degree in economics with a major in international relations from Clark University. Tami attended Ophelia DeVore School and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her certification as an image consultant.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 29,537 times.
Have you ever felt warm and happy when someone sincerely thanked you for what you did for them? You’re not the only one who feels it. Imagine how wonderful it would be to know that you also gave someone that warm and happy feeling because you thanked them. As human beings, we appreciate being appreciated. Saying ‘thank you’ openly and sincerely not only makes you happier, it also makes you healthier and more energetic. So the next time someone does something for you, big or small, take a moment to thank them. [1] X Research Source
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