How to Text an Ex-Girlfriend After a Breakup

Breakups are never a pleasant experience, and if you regret the cause of the breakup, you’re probably now wondering what to say to reconnect with someone you love. If you believe a healing opportunity is good for both you and her, the first step would be to text her. But what should you say in this situation? We’re here to help you text your girl after you’ve broken up.

Table of Contents

Give her her own space.

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Give her space so she can miss you. It can be difficult, but you should wait a few weeks after the breakup before texting her, unless she sends it first. She needs time to process what happened, and so should you. A few weeks after the breakup, you can get back in touch if your ex hasn’t told her that she doesn’t want to see you again. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If your ex doesn’t want to text you anymore, accept her decision. Every breakup leaves wounds, and your ex needs time to heal how she feels best.
Find something to do during this time to keep your mind off of what happened.
If she doesn’t respond to your texts after a day or so, follow suit – that way you won’t seem too hasty.

Remind her of happy moments.

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A reminder of the good times can mean a lot. After a breakup, emotions can remain, and sometimes people only remember sad memories. You can change her view of the relationship by sending her a text message about the happy times when you were together. Try sending messages like:

“I just walked past the restaurant we went to on our first date. Remember that day I spilled water on the waiter? It’s really clumsy. Either way, it reminds me how special that night was.”
“The other day when I went to the beach, I suddenly remembered our vacation there. I still remember that day it was very beautiful.”
“I just watched a new Marvel movie. Do you remember how excited we were when we watched the movie “Revenge Squad”? Thinking about it made me laugh again – I was so happy that night.”

Apologize to her.

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Your apology shows that you are responsible for your mistake. It’s important to admit your part in the unfortunate incident when you’re proving to her that your relationship deserves a second chance. Be specific about your mistake and say that you have learned from it. For example: ^{[2] X Research Source}

“I’m sorry for paying too much attention to my friends and not prioritizing you. Now I realize that our relationship is special and needs more attention.”
“I’m sorry that I don’t care about the emotional needs you deserve. I understand why you have felt neglected and sad all this time.”
“I apologize for being unfaithful when we were in love. He had thought that it was okay to just text with other girls, but he was completely wrong. You did that out of respect for me and now I understand.”

Let her know that you wish her the best.

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Sincere confessions can help her know that there is no more resentment between the two parties now. After a breakup, it can be awkward for both of you when you don’t know where you stand with your ex. She will feel more comfortable talking to you if she knows that you still want the best for her. Tell her something like:

“I just wanted to say that I love my time with you. I wish you all the happiness in life.”
“I know we had a rough breakup, but I just want you to know that what’s important to me right now is that you’re happy. I hope you find joy in everything you do from now on.”
“If breaking up is what you need, I accept it, but I still think of you as a wonderful person and deserving of all the good things in the world.”

Ask for her advice.

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Show that you value her thoughts. Asking someone for advice is a sign that you care about what they have to say, and this will often make people feel flattered. Asking your ex’s advice is a much better way to start a conversation than a casual question like, “How are you?” because your story has a purpose. Try texting something like:

“There is something I would like your opinion on: what gift do you think I should give my cousin?”
“A little question: I want to invite my uncle to some fancy restaurant tonight. Do you have any ideas?”
“Do you have any advice for me? I’m worried about tomorrow’s French test.”

Chat with her about something interesting.

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A chat message can relieve stress. If something happens at work, school, or there’s news, you can send your ex a text message to ease any awkward feelings between the two of you. Things that have nothing to do with a past relationship can be comforting to both of you. Try saying things like:

“Did you watch the interview last night? This is crazy.”
“Did you know that the English teacher was suspended from teaching? Rumor has it that there are a lot of strange things in there.”
“Did you hear my boss is moving somewhere else? Who do you think will take her place?”

Ask her to help you with something.

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Your ex will probably love the feeling of helping you out. If you need help with something, see if she’s willing. You should have a backup plan and don’t be disappointed if she refuses – she may still need more time. And if she accepts, this will be a great way for you to mend the relationship. Try saying something like: ^{[3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source}

“I’m writing a cover letter – can you help me take a look? I don’t know anyone who writes as well as you do.”
“I wonder if you can drive me to the airport this weekend? It’s fine if you’re busy, but I’m thinking if you’ll be free.”
“I have to go to the province this weekend – do you think you can help me with Lucy? Then whatever you want, I’ll be grateful!”

Say someone mentioned her.

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Remind your ex that she is still an important part of your life. Everyone loves to know they’re being mentioned, so share this information with her – she’ll be happy. This is also a gentle way to say that you still miss her. Say things like:

“My mother kept talking about you during dinner last night. I think she misses you so much!”
“Last night I went out with some friends. They praised me for playing Mario Kart well. I think they want to fight you again.”
“The English teacher in our class talked about your essay. She said it was one of the best papers she’d graded in all her years of teaching.”

Show her you’ve changed.

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Leave a sign to her that you’re not what you used to be. When she considers giving the two of you another chance, she needs to know that the issues that have divided you in the past won’t happen again. Show her that you’re correcting bad habits she hates, such as: ^{[4] X Source of Research}

“You’re right – I was sloppy before. I see this photo of the house you just cleaned. Thank you for giving me the push I needed.”
“Last weekend you went on a picnic in the mountains – did you take a good photo? I sent it to you because you always encouraged me to be more active in the past.”
“I just want to thank you for motivating me to strive harder. I just received an invitation to a job interview tomorrow. I would appreciate it if you wished me luck.”

Honestly express your feelings.

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If the messages between you and her have deepened, you can open up to see what she means. Wait until the two of you are back to being friends before expressing your feelings to avoid feeling pressured after the breakup. But if she’s signaling she’s not afraid to talk about taking the relationship further, then honestly sharing your feelings will give her an opportunity to do the same, and this can help both of you. together. Say things like:

“I know we’re still trying to be friends, but my love for you has never faded.”
“I know you may still need your space, but I still love you and care about you.”
“You’ve always been wonderful to me, and I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know I still have feelings for you.”

Ask your ex out if she seems interested.

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If texting goes well, try asking her for a chance. If she believes in your efforts and has also taken the initiative to contact you, maybe now is the time to talk about getting back together. It’s not uncommon for couples to break up and fall in love again, and hopefully both of you have learned from the past to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Make the offer simple, gentle, and accept her decision if she says no. Say something like: ^{[5] X Research Source}

“I know we didn’t go well before, but how would you feel if we did it all over again? Can I invite you to dinner this Friday?”
“I’m glad to talk to you again and glad to see that we seem to get along well. Do you want us to start over?”
“I’m not sure how you feel about this, but now I muster up the courage to ask you. We get along really well these days, so what would you say if we started dating again?”

Advice

Try not to send messages too often at first. Avoid double texting, and wait for her response before continuing.
If you feel sad after a breakup, that’s normal. You’ll probably miss your ex, even if ending the relationship was the right thing to do. Time will help the pain gradually disappear.

Steps