How to Text a Guy to Go Out

Are you hesitating about how to text to ask a guy out? Don’t worry! Guys sometimes seem like unsolved puzzles, but in reality, you’re probably thinking too much. To help you, we’ve put together a list of tips and strategies you can use to get him around you – whether it’s watching Netflix and relaxing or just going out.

Table of Contents

Start by boosting his ego a bit.

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Compliment him for being attractive, funny, or smart before asking. Flatten him up a bit with a few text messages that compliment some of his qualities that you like and admire. He will love it and will probably open up and accept your invitation

Try texting, “You know, you’re the funniest person I’ve ever met” or “You have something very charming about you.”
You can also try saying, “It’s nice to talk to a smart guy. You really are a genius.”

Ask flirty questions to help him relax.

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Keep the atmosphere lighthearted to de-stress and encourage him to talk. Ask questions to keep the conversation going. Put a little joke and flirt in your questions so he feels comfortable talking to you. As such, he may want to spend more time with you.

Try asking, “How are you so single? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. So people like me have a chance, right? But why are you still alone?”
You could also say, “How’s your family? If you have a rich uncle, let me know so I can start plotting!”

Suggest that the two of you go out together to explore.

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Mention hanging out as a possibility to see how he feels. Come up with an idea without actually asking out to see his reaction. If he’s excited about your idea, great! You will easily respond and ask him out. If he’s not very interested, just stop without fear of getting into an embarrassing situation. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Try texting “Maybe we should see each other sometime” or a little more intimate, “Let’s go out some day!”
You can also try texting “When are we going to have dinner together?” or “It’s been a while since I went to the movies! I’ll go someday.”
Don’t worry if he responds in a casual manner, neither eager nor disapproving. You can still ask him out without being turned down.

Ask about his free time.

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Find out when he’s free before asking him out. If you have plans or events that you want to invite him to come along, ask him if he is available at that time. If you’re planning on making plans with him, find out when he’s usually free so you can pick a time. ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, you could ask, “Are you busy around 7 p.m. Friday?” or “What are you going to do this weekend? Do you have any plans?”

Choose something specific to invite.

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A specific invitation will make it easier for him to accept. Avoid vague invitations, or he may decline or grudgingly accept (and may not go). Instead, you need to choose a specific event or place in mind when you invite him, and the chances of him accepting are also higher. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, text “Hung, do you want to come and try this new Italian restaurant with me this Friday” instead of “Would you like to have dinner together someday?”
You can also try texting, “I’m going to an art show in town. Will you come with me?”

Say you need a companion.

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Make him feel like you need his help. If you really just want to hang out with him as friends, ask him to be your companion to a bar, to a party, or even to a singles event. Even if you like him on a higher level than friendship, he’ll probably find you more attractive when you count on him as such a friend.

You can try texting “Hey man, I have to go to a company party, do you want to be my companion?”
Or “I want to go to this club’s bachelorette party. Do you want to come with me?”

Include him in your plans.

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Get him involved in some of your plans. To make it more comfortable, talk about your plans and invite him to join you. That sounds more natural and he’s more likely to agree. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “Toan, some friends came to my house to watch the Olympics this weekend. Would you like to join?”
You can also try texting, “This Saturday there’s a free yoga class in the park that I’m going to. You should come with me!”

Invite him out for a drink with some friends.

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It’s more likely that he’ll accept if there are other people there as well. He might be a little shy if you ask him out on a private date. Tell him you’re going out with some friends and it’s going to be fun and easy. That way it will be easier for him to agree. And if he doesn’t, no big deal – you can still go out and have fun with your friends! ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Try texting “Tuan, my friends are going to eat pizza and drinks this Friday. Do you want to come along?”
You can also text “Some friends asked me to go to an electronic music show. Do you want to come with us?”

Ask him if he wants to go get coffee or lunch.

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Feels natural and stress-free. If you just want to hang out with him as a friend or you’re afraid he’ll turn down an invitation to a night out, try asking him out during the day. Recommend a good coffee shop or lunch place to make it easier for him to agree – who doesn’t love coffee and lunch? ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Try saying, “I’m starving to death. Would you like to buy lunch with me, Hoang?” or “I really want coffee. Would you like to come try this newly opened coffee shop with me?”

Compose the question as an invitation to hang out.

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Act like he has a chance to be with you. Make yourself a reward he can win by kicking the ball across his field every time you ask him out. Make the invitation sound like he has a chance to hang out with you instead of asking if he wants to see you. Maybe he will be interested and agree! ^{[7] X Research Sources}

For example, try saying “Ah, by the way, I’m going to the city museum this weekend. Would you like to come along” instead of “Would you like to visit the city museum with me this weekend?”

Open the way for him to relieve the pressure.

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Give him a chance to say no to relieve the pressure. If you’re worried that he’ll say no or don’t want him to feel obligated to accept, give him the option to say no. Say it’s okay if he can’t go. He may or may not agree, but you said the invitation! ^{[8] X Research Sources}

You can try texting “This weekend I plan to go to the newly opened Lotte Cinema if you can. If you don’t take the exam, you can wait until another time!”
You can also try saying, “Listen, it’s okay if you can’t go, but I’m going to this 80s-style party tonight at this bar, if you want to come, come!”

Stop texting after he’s answered.

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Avoid texting him too much or you’ll bore him again. Try to refrain from texting constantly when he has accepted. Take it easy and just wait until you meet him. Congratulations, you have succeeded! Don’t spoil the job with messages that come flooding in. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Don’t worry if he refuses. Maybe he’s busy, maybe he changes his mind later. Everything can change in the future.

Advice

If you have mutual friends with him, you can try asking him out with some people you know. This can make him more receptive.

Steps