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This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 109,532 times.
When a guy who’s been loving you is suddenly aloof and distant, perhaps your natural reaction is to wonder why. While there are tons of tips on how to tell if your guy has lost interest in you, we’ve found the most effective. The first and most important thing is to notice major changes in communication between two people. Once you’ve identified the communication changes, consider his actions, then deal with the problem by talking to him, seeking advice from others, and focusing on self.
Steps
Notice changes in communication
- His aloof and less talkative demeanor could be a sign that his passion isn’t what it used to be. However, this could also signify changes in his personal life – maybe your lover is too busy or has issues to deal with at home.
- The best way is always to meet and ask directly instead of assuming that he no longer loves you.
- For example, if two people used to chat for hours on the phone and now only say ten minutes each call, then this could signal that he’s losing interest. Maybe your boyfriend purposely cut the conversation short by ignoring your texts or calls for a long time before answering, or saying he can’t continue talking without giving a reason.
- He may even raise his voice or say mean things to you. This is a clear sign that he doesn’t love you. You don’t deserve to be around someone who treats you badly, speaks to you in a harsh voice, or speaks harshly. If he starts to criticize your appearance, your gestures, and the things you do, end the conversation immediately.
- He may be intentionally leaving clues for you to know if he’s interested in you or not. You should pay close attention to what he says as well as the way he says it.
- Does he often joke with you? His lack of humor is a sign that he’s unhappy — possibly depressed — or simply not interested.
- You should also notice if he often talks about trivia or goes into deeper topics. If he avoids important topics or doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, then he probably doesn’t care about you.
- If he starts talking about his relationships with other people, especially in an affectionate manner, that means he’s implying that he only sees you as a friend.
Observe the change in his actions
- If you notice that you’re the only one who suggests doing this or that or making plans for two, stop and see if he starts trying to plan. He’ll make plans and try to hang out with you if he’s still interested in you.
- Maybe he makes general excuses when he breaks the plan, like busy with other things but doesn’t specify what. You should notice if he never gives you a clear answer to explain why he can’t go out with you. He may deliberately ignore the reason why he doesn’t follow through with his plan and just explain something like, “I have work to do with someone else” or “I can’t tonight” without mentioning it. specific reason.
- If his attitude toward you is the same as that of any friend, he may just like you but not romantically. If his heart flutters for you, he will treat you differently than his friends.
- Some guys are flirtatious, others are just flirting with girls they really have a crush on, so you should try to figure out which type your guy is.
- Maybe he’s deliberately pulling away from you, crossing his arms over his chest, or turning his face away when he’s talking to you. He may also try to avoid physical contact like avoiding your hug or pulling away when you touch his arm. If so, then he probably doesn’t like you.
- If he rarely looks at you while talking, he probably doesn’t care about what you have to say. [5] X Research Sources Some guys are pretty shy though – if so then this just shows nervousness or timidity, it’s not because he’s not interested.
- Some gestures that show he’s indifferent to you are: feet and body away from you, rubbing his neck, crossing his arms, looking at the floor, or turning his body in another direction. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, you two often hug each other every time you see each other. But if he doesn’t like you anymore, he probably won’t hug you or pull away when you’re about to hug him.
- Even if the two of you still have physical contact, the pattern of contact can change if he loses interest. Maybe instead of hugging you, he just patted your hand, a non-romantic gesture of men towards friends.
- For example, if he forgot your birthday even though you told him a few weeks ago, he’s probably not interested in you anymore.
- If he keeps forgetting things you say, like you have an interview coming up or your family is moving to the city, it could mean that he no longer cares about the important things in your life. [9] X Research Source
- Maybe he’s no longer making meaningful gestures and bringing you pleasant surprises like before, such as a bouquet of flowers or a surprise gift.
Deal with the problem
- Do this for a week and see if he starts to change. Don’t contact him first to see if he’ll start a conversation first. Either he notices that you stop talking and will come to you, or else he won’t look for you, and that shows that he’s not interested in you.
- On the other hand, see if he asks for your opinion about his relationships with other people. It’s a clear sign that he’s interested in other people and only sees you as a friend. If he starts asking you questions like, “How do I get that girl’s attention?” or “How should you plan your date with her?” It’s obvious that he’s not in love with you.
- This can be scary and stressful for you. No one wants to feel rejected, moreover this is a vulnerable situation you put yourself in. However, it is possible that you misread his signals or failed to pick up what he thought was clear. [11] X Research Source
- You can mention the problem directly or indirectly. For example, ask, “Do you still want to hang out with me, or do you just want us to be friends?” By asking like this, you’re getting straight to the point and giving him a chance to express his feelings.
- Do things that make you happy. Hang out with friends, cook a delicious meal, go outside for a walk, draw a picture or watch a new movie.
- It’s natural to feel grief when you lose a relationship and plans for the future. After mourning for a broken relationship, get up and move on by focusing on the positive aspects of your life.
- Let’s look at the bigger picture. This is certainly not easy, but there are many other great guys in this world who are also looking for their other half.
Advice
- Guys’ feelings change for many reasons. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. However, it does say that you need to start rethinking your own needs and make sure you can retreat with your head held high.
- Love yourself and know that you are a wonderful person. Never let someone who no longer cares about you make you feel insecure.
Warning
- Don’t think too much about “should” things. Those things didn’t happen, so focus on current and upcoming events.
- Try not to keep bitter feelings in your heart. Resentment will hold you back and won’t change what happened.
This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 109,532 times.
When a guy who’s been loving you is suddenly aloof and distant, perhaps your natural reaction is to wonder why. While there are tons of tips on how to tell if your guy has lost interest in you, we’ve found the most effective. The first and most important thing is to notice major changes in communication between two people. Once you’ve identified the communication changes, consider his actions, then deal with the problem by talking to him, seeking advice from others, and focusing on self.
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