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This article was co-written by Michelle Jacoby. Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaking expert, dating coach, founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a high-end private matchmaking agency in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia. She is also the co-founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international organization for matchmaking professionals. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in 1:1 matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy and lasting relationships. She was covered by The Washington Post, Self and NPR magazines. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also The Matchmakers Academy Certified Matchmaker and The Body Language Academy Certified Body Language Expert.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 32,458 times.
Sometimes one of the hardest things about starting a new relationship is determining if your partner is interested in you. It is often difficult for you to guess the thoughts of men, and it is not easy to determine their feelings. However, by observation combined with feelings and frank conversations, you can still tell if it is love or not.
Steps
Pay attention to his body language
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Observe the eyes. The guy who has feelings for you will show it through his eyes. Some signs can be contradictory, but it depends on his personality.
- People interested in you often try to maintain eye contact. [1] X Research Source He will look you in the eye while you are talking and you can catch him looking at you from a distance.
- However, the guy who is somewhat shy will avoid eye contact because he gets nervous talking to you. If he looks around shyly as if he’s not sure where to look, this could be a sign that he likes you. If he just looks at his phone or other people, he probably has no feelings for you.
- Men’s pupils usually dilate when they feel pleasure. [2] X Research Source If a guy’s pupils are dilated (the black dot on the pupil is larger than usual), he must have noticed you.
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Observe his posture. Similar to many other mammals, men change positions when they try to impress women. [3] X Research Sources
- He won’t cross his legs or cross his arms. These two poses mean “no, get away from me!”.
- He will lean towards you when talking to you.
- He also stands upright with his shoulders wide open to look taller and more impressive. [4] X Research Sources
- He may look like he’s pushed his pelvis forward slightly. Some men even unintentionally (or intentionally) adjust their genitals when talking to someone they’re interested in. [5] X Research Sources
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Notice how he touches you. One of the surest signs to know that he likes you is by the way he intentionally touches you. When you’re talking and he touches your arm or hand, he’s probably trying to see how you’ll react.
- Get closer by reciprocating his actions. Gently touch or squeeze his arm and look him in the eye while you’re talking. You’ll know if you’re getting attention by the way he reacts.
- Note that you should compare the touch he gives you with his usual routine. If he usually hugs people, the fact that he hugs you doesn’t say anything.
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Notice facial expressions like blushing and smiling. The guy who is watching you will smile at you and laugh a lot when he hears you tell stories that aren’t really funny. [6] X Research Sources
- If he’s shy, he’ll blush when he talks to you. Watch to see if he’s blushing or has sweaty hands (he’ll rub his palms on his shirt or rub his palms together). [7] X Research Sources
- He’ll often say something weird or confusing and blush if he’s nervous. You should help him feel comfortable.
- Feeling nervous is a sure sign of interest. By being nice and encouraging him to talk, you’ll help him feel at ease.
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Notice if he acts like you. Women and men both unwittingly imitate the actions of the person they like. [8] X Research Source This means that they act exactly like the other with the intention of saying that both are similar and are compatible with each other.
- You can check by doing something you don’t usually do, such as placing your hand on your lips or stretching. See if he acts like you.
Know the signs of flirting
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Compare his tone and demeanor when you’re alone with other people. The key to determining if he’s flirting with you is to notice the difference in the way he talks to you and to other people.
- Men often try to speak in a deeper and more masculine voice when talking to the person they are interested in.
- Sometimes men will whisper or lower their voice to the object of their interest. [9] X Research Source This brings you closer to hearing him or implies that you both have a secret connection.
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Assess his interest in your interests. If he is very interested in your actions or words, he probably has feelings for you, not just your interests. [10] X Research Source Not everyone has the same interests and passions, but people often try to find common ground with their partner when starting a new relationship.
- Remember to exchange information and find out his interests. Showing interest in what he’s interested in is a sign that you’re interested in him, too. In addition, if you encourage him to share, you will avoid situations where you are talking alone.
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Pay attention to your clothing and self-care habits. Before coming to see you, he will probably spend a lot of time taking care of his appearance. Try to notice if he dresses well or styled his hair better than usual. [11] X Research Source
- Your compliment at this time will be very meaningful when he has worked hard to look better in your eyes.
- The guy who’s trying to be nicer for you might be a better boyfriend than someone who isn’t willing to try to impress you.
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Watch out for flirting. A few flirting or winking are all familiar signs of flirting, and guys will still choose it if they can’t think of another way to flirt. [12] X Research Source
Distinguishing between love and infatuation
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Talk deeply. In a romantic relationship, two lovers often talk about a variety of topics. [13] X Research Source Make sure both of you are excited to join the conversation.
- Topics of conversation can be anything from hopes and wishes to old relationships and celebrities.
- If he’s not interested in the conversation or isn’t interested in your opinion, it’s possible that he just doesn’t feel the same way or isn’t the right person for you.
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Casual dating. Especially when the two of you are already living together, both of you should try dating and make time for each other to do the usual activities that don’t include sex. Having fun together without romantic cuddles is essential to a healthy relationship. In addition, this is also a way to help you realize that the person really loves you or just cares about your body.
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Let’s overcome difficulties together. This is obviously something you can’t do on purpose, but if either of you is having a hard time emotionally, you can guess how he feels about you.
- Share how you feel for your lover and the problem you face.
- Talk about your emotional needs and his, but be aware that men are often hesitant to share their feelings. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.
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Be frank about how you feel and see how he reacts. If you’re in love and want to know if he loves you, let him know how you feel.
- When expressing your feelings, be aware that he may not reciprocate in the same way right away. That doesn’t mean your relationship is over; maybe he needs time to think about what you said.
- Pay attention to his body language when you express your feelings. If he seems uncomfortable right away, he probably doesn’t agree with you.
- If he’s unresponsive and doesn’t show any particular emotion, it could be because he’s not really interested in you.
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Talk about the future. You will talk about the future for two purposes. First, it’s a way to gauge if you both share the same goals and values in life – which is a sign of long-term commitment. [14] X Sources of Research Second, this helps you identify someone who just wants to keep a superficial relationship with you.
- Start by talking about your goals and thinking about your personal future.
- Finally, ask him if he envisions building a future with you.
- Keep in mind that your goals and vision for the future can change a lot, especially when you’re young. It’s better to revisit these things from time to time.
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Spend time with his family. If he introduces you to his family, he’s probably already in love with you. [15] X Research Source He definitely wouldn’t introduce to his family a girl he didn’t have any feelings for. Getting to know his family also tells you more about the background and environment in which he will be attached.
- Respond to this action and invite him to meet your family.
- Even if his (or yours) parents do or say something embarrassing, it will be a happy memory to talk about later.
- Boys are often attached to their mothers. If his mother was impressed and liked you, he would have been very proud to bring you to meet his family.
- Be kind to his family. Sometimes people feel embarrassed about certain family matters and you can alienate them if you make fun of their family even if it’s just a joke.
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This article was co-written by Michelle Jacoby. Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaking expert, dating coach, founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a high-end private matchmaking agency in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia. She is also the co-founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international organization for matchmaking professionals. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in 1:1 matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy and lasting relationships. She was covered by The Washington Post, Self and NPR magazines. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also The Matchmakers Academy Certified Matchmaker and The Body Language Academy Certified Body Language Expert.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 32,458 times.
Sometimes one of the hardest things about starting a new relationship is determining if your partner is interested in you. It is often difficult for you to guess the thoughts of men, and it is not easy to determine their feelings. However, by observation combined with feelings and frank conversations, you can still tell if it is love or not.
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