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This article was co-written by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, which provides dating advice in New York. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Cher is a life coach and former mental health nurse, and her work has been featured in Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1 and The New York Post.
This article has been viewed 117,316 times.
Are you fluttering in front of a guy? Congratulation. Acknowledging that feeling means you’ve completed the first step, but it’s going to be a lot harder to actually tell him. This article will help you go through the whole process from flirting, finding out, and confessing your feelings! Be courageous!
Steps
Express to him
- Ask people about him. If you’re shy, ask a close friend to check if he likes you or left any clues. If there are signs that he likes you, good! You have a reason to be bolder.
- Watch for signs he might leave. If a guy likes you, he usually takes the initiative to be with you. (This is not always the case, but is often a reliable sign.) He will make excuses to sit next to you, attend social events that you also attend, even start hanging out with your friends. Please pay attention!
- If you catch him looking at you, look him in the eye and try to hold that gaze for a few seconds. If he keeps looking at you, then you know he likes you. If he turns away, it could mean that he likes you and is shy. However, you should keep in mind that the reasons people look at each other are not unique. Maybe your face is smeared!
- You can start the conversation with something that implies a compliment. Something that makes your guy proud is a great way to start a conversation. You should try:
- “Last weekend’s ball game was great. I went to watch it with my friends that day too. How long have you been playing?”
- “Why do you always get the highest marks in English exams? Can you read the minds of all the teachers or just the teacher (name of the English teacher)?”
- “I like your hairstyle. Did you get a haircut?”
- Here are a few examples of how to start a conversation:
- “Dude, what’s the math homework? I forgot my notebook in class, I can’t remember it now.”
- “Your brother goes to Le Hong Phong school? My sister said you two are in the same class!”
- “Is your bike Schwinn? I’m thinking of asking my parents for one this Christmas!”
- Maybe not necessarily, but it’s worth reminding you: Don’t say you like him if at least you two can’t have a comfortable conversation. If you surprise a guy you’re not very close with by telling him how you feel, you’ll probably scare him off and avoid him. At the very least, it will affect the friendship or the process of getting to know each other later.
- When you hear him talk, twist your hair with your hand. This gesture is quite natural so that people don’t imagine anything too extreme, but if he is saying something, he will definitely notice. This is an easy flirt to do.
- Ask him to do something for you. This is cute, but it can backfire for a number of reasons: maybe he doesn’t want to pamper you in front of your friends or his because of embarrassment. You should only ask for simple things like:
- Carry your backpack. You might say it’s too heavy and want to ask someone stronger for help.
- Do your homework together, even if you don’t need help. This is a great excuse to be more intimate with him, and also a gauge of how patient he is.
- Most importantly, don’t be too pushy – don’t try to ask him to clean the house or anything like that!
- Smile, make eye contact and be available at all times. Show him what really attracts you. Give him a charming smile, mesmerizing eyes, and stay close when he’s around. Soon he will realize!
- Lean on his shoulder. Pretend to be bored and rest your head on his shoulder. Or just put your hand on his shoulder. Look at him affectionately if he looks back at you.
- If he teases you, you can give him a light “blow” on the shoulder. Girls often do that when boys playfully tease. You can also pretend to sulk or respond with laughter.
- Find an excuse to touch him. If he has really big hands, feel free to hold his hand and say “Wow, your hands are so big; compared to my tiny hands!” Wet your hand in his.
- “This Saturday I was going to go to the movies with a friend, but in the end she couldn’t. Would you like to go with me?”
- “I want to go to that haunted house to death, but I can’t find anyone brave enough to go. Are you interested?”
- “My parents and I go to the city’s fair every year – don’t ask, it’s a long story – my parents asked me if I wanted to bring someone from school with me. Would you like to go?”
- Write cute words, “I like you” and stick it in his drawer.
- Write the sentence “I like you” on a piece of paper, remember to clearly write the recipient but do not write the sender. Have a few friends pass the note and “randomly” send it to him. If he’s reading and looking around expectantly, you can either send a signal that you’re the one who wrote it, or you can just let him guess.
- If he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, release him naturally by saying something like, “Yeah…It’s okay. Do not worry.” Then you let it pass! Remember that his rejection doesn’t mean he thinks badly of you. His love may not be simple. Be confident that his interests don’t dictate your qualities, and how many other guys will feel how lucky they are to win your heart. Really!
Mentally prepare
- Ask yourself questions like, “Do I really like this guy, or is it just infatuation?” “What do I like about him?” “What do I expect to come?” If you can’t answer these questions, try to find out more about this guy before you move on.
- Only you know if you really like someone or not. But if you’re interested in adventure, you can try taking online quizzes and interpreting the results to your liking.
- If you can’t think of anything other than his perfect image, try to notice the little details that make him seem silly or goofy! Does he have a small scar on his head? He pronounces the word ‘idol’ as ‘idol?” The awareness that everyone has flaws makes even the most perfect guy much more accessible.
- A guy’s body language can reveal his feelings. Does he point his chest and shoulders toward you, even if he’s preoccupied with something else right now? Does he seem to be making eye contact with you often? [1] X Research Source Maybe he’s thinking about how to confess his feelings to the girl he likes!
- Maybe he’s still confused because he just broke up with his ex.
- Maybe his feelings are too childish to pursue a relationship.
- Maybe he simply wanted to be alone.
After he accepted
- A good time for a date is the weekend, after the two sides have confessed their feelings.
- On a first date, plan how at least two people have time to talk to each other. For example, if you’re going to the movies, arrange for dinner as well. The first date should be natural, stress-free, and private to “the two of you.”
- Dates don’t have to be extravagant. A great first date can be as simple as doing homework together and hanging out in the park. Here are a few inexpensive ideas if you haven’t thought of them yet:
- Regional carnival, fair or amusement park.
- Roller skating or ice skating. If one of you isn’t good at it, even better – you’ll have to hold onto each other to keep from falling!
- Go on a picnic. If you make it to the top of a hill or slope, you’ll be rewarded with a beautiful (and romantic!)
- If you’re really worried, talk to the girls. They can tell you funny stories about first dates turning into nightmares! At least they remind you that the first date isn’t super stressful.
Advice
- If you want to ask him if he likes you, you need to do this when he’s alone. Under pressure to be cool in front of friends, guys will often say “no”, no matter how he really feels.
- Boys have feelings just like girls. If he looks nervous or blushes, don’t laugh, don’t hit him or tease him. This can be flirty if you’re being playful, but you should save it until you two are actually “date”.
- Behave comfortably and naturally around him. You may have heard this advice a hundred times, but be yourself. You don’t have to change just to get someone’s approval. If that guy really likes you, he’ll accept you as you are.
- Before you tell him, take care of him, but don’t be too obvious. Give him gifts for the holidays, but not too often. When you come back from a trip, don’t buy him anything but give a gift to a girlfriend in front of him. This is a kind of “doing it up” that makes him even more emotional when you express your feelings to him.
- Don’t forget that you can always ask him if he likes you before you say you like him. If he says “no”, you can answer with “Lucky, my friends keep saying you like me, but I know you don’t”.
- Try to spend more time with him. This will make the two of you know more about each other.
- Texting a guy can be very dangerous if he shows it to other people.
- If you catch his eye, don’t look away. He might think you don’t like it!
- Choose activities that aren’t too stressful for either of you, such as going camping, going for a walk, or watching a movie.
- Give the guy a day to think. You need a good relationship. Most guys get nervous when you confess in person and might say things they’ll regret later!
- If you want to leave a message in someone’s locker, you need to do it when no one is looking or ask a friend to do it for you. And make sure to choose the right drawer. If you make a mistake, that’s okay too. Just send them a second message, say you’re sorry for the mistake and ask for the note back or ask them to leave.”
- Even if you really have a crush on a guy, don’t be afraid to say no if he takes advantage of you. Maybe he asks you to do things that make you uncomfortable or feel bad, don’t be afraid to say “no” just because you are afraid he will reject you.
Warning
- Don’t bring up his past (while dating or all the time in general) if you know anything about it. No one can control the past. Best case scenario, he’ll brush it off and ask why you’re talking about it; worse, in his eyes you will become the person who snoopes on his private life.
- When you tell him you like him, don’t be surprised if he seems a bit shocked. Maybe he doesn’t even know you like him.
- Be careful when you tell other people that you like the guy, especially when you’re in the same school – rumors will spread everywhere. The best way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone. If you absolutely have to confide in someone, you should only tell a friend who has always kept your secret, or better yet, someone who is far away and can’t talk back to him (eg. like a mail friend or a friend from another school).
- Don’t constantly text your guy. Doing that will make you look like a fool and obsess, unless he immediately replies to the text. You can then continue texting (but there has to be a reason).
This article was co-written by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, which provides dating advice in New York. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Cher is a life coach and former mental health nurse, and her work has been featured in Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1 and The New York Post.
This article has been viewed 117,316 times.
Are you fluttering in front of a guy? Congratulation. Acknowledging that feeling means you’ve completed the first step, but it’s going to be a lot harder to actually tell him. This article will help you go through the whole process from flirting, finding out, and confessing your feelings! Be courageous!
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