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Life sometimes puts us in stressful and tumultuous emotional states: sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, suffering. It’s not always possible to control our emotions, even if it’s not always a good idea, because emotions can help us solve problems and improve our lives. [1] X Research Source However, strong emotions can be difficult for you, and you will need to temporarily numb your emotions to continue to cope with the situation. To do this, you must try to control the situation, pay attention to your emotions, calm your body, and deal with anxiety when it arises.
See “When should you try this?” to learn more about when you should control your emotions.
Steps
Control the situation
- An effective alternative to managing emotions is to regulate negative emotions and focus on more positive emotions. [3] X Trusted Source American Psychrogical Association Go to source For example, maybe you just want to “freeze” from an embarrassing incident at work, but you can also try to treat it not something to be ashamed of but a joyful experience. This method is called cognitive reassessment , and while it’s not the same as emotional paralysis, it’s equally effective. [4] X Research Sources
- Realize that complete or prolonged emotional paralysis can be a manifestation of a mental health disorder, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) [5] X Source trusted HelpGuide Go to source or pathological depression. [6] X Source of Research If you constantly feel lost, numb, and hopeless, you should see your doctor or therapist as soon as possible.
- If you’re nervous about studying for a test the night before, try studying two nights before. That way you can relax the night before the test.
- If you hate partying because it’s too crowded, bring a few close friends with you. You can find them if you want to escape the crowd and have a private chat.
- Gaming
- Watch a movie
- Focus on hobbies
- Go see music or do comedy
- Do exercise
- Only check email at work – never at home
- Turn off your phone at night
- Turn off social media notifications
- Remove your profile on social networks
- Stop using the internet on weekends
- Keep cool, motionless
- Let your lips stay in a normal state, neither smiling nor pursed
- Speak in low pitch and low volume
- Use short sentences and get to the point
- Maintain eye contact with a calm and blank look
Pay attention to your feelings
- What do I feel in this moment? Do I just have one overwhelming feeling or many mixed emotions? Just by naming your emotions, you can see them more objectively. [16] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
- Why do I feel this way? Do my emotions come from internal factors (like my own fears) or external factors (like when someone screams at me)?
- Do I like how I feel now? Maybe you are happy or grateful for life and want to nurture those feelings. It is also possible that you feel anxiety or fear and do not want to experience these feelings in the future.
- What can I do to control my emotions in the future? Ask yourself if you can encourage positive emotions and prevent or even eliminate negative emotions. How can you arrange your life so that you can control your emotions without letting them control you?
- Focus on the future instead of the present. Ask yourself if current failure can teach you any lessons about how to react in the future. Praise yourself for learning from a difficult situation. [18] X Research Sources
- Tell ourselves that failure will make us more resilient. Emotional strength doesn’t come to you immediately: you’ll have to gradually practice over time. See it as one step on your journey to mastering your emotions. [19] X Research Source
- Evaluate everything properly. Remember, the person who is actually most concerned about your emotional state is you. Colleagues, friends, and family will soon forget your little emotional outbursts. Remember that it’s not a disaster: it’s just a few small incidents in life. [20] X Research Source
- Pay particular attention to whether your emotional reactions are the same as those of normal people, or if they are overreactions. [24] X Research Source
- Ask yourself if you’ve felt this way before. This will help you figure out the pattern of your emotional state.
- If something happens to upset you, tell yourself that you will write it down in your journal later. This will help you avoid reacting emotionally.
Soothe the body
- Run or walk briskly
- Cycling
- Swimming
- Team sports like soccer or volleyball
- Martial Arts
- Kickboxing
- Dance
- An exception to this is when you need medication for a mental health disorder. In this case, you should always follow your doctor’s instructions.
- Make sure the bedroom is cool and well ventilated
- Prepare a comfortable bed and mattress
- Use a white sound generator to drown out ambient noise
- Avoid alcohol, caffeine and large meals, especially in the evening
Coping with anxiety
- For example, if you’re stressed about an upcoming exam, don’t try to forget it. Instead, assign yourself a 20-minute daily review task: this will help you overcome anxiety.
- You’ll feel especially relaxed when you’re engaged in a social activity (like going out for coffee with friends) or out (like a walk by the lake). These activities can be more effective at calming you down than watching television. [33] X Research Sources
When should you try doing this?
Advice
- Sometimes social media can help you deal with your emotions in a calm way. But there are times when you’ll be more emotional when you’re around other people. Do what you believe is best for you and always take care of yourself.
- Emotional avoidance can sometimes make you more miserable. You should find healthy ways to deal with your emotions – not now, then another time.
- Try to reach a state of calm and equanimity instead of completely numbing your emotions. Find ways to react calmly to difficult situations without closing in on your emotions.
Warning
- Emotional paralysis can sometimes be a sign of a serious mental disorder. If you lose your ability to feel happiness, wonder or satisfaction, ask your doctor about treatment options. [34] X Research Source
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 61 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,140 times.
Life sometimes puts us in stressful and tumultuous emotional states: sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, suffering. It’s not always possible to control our emotions, even if it’s not always a good idea, because emotions can help us solve problems and improve our lives. [1] X Research Source However, strong emotions can be difficult for you, and you will need to temporarily numb your emotions to continue to cope with the situation. To do this, you must try to control the situation, pay attention to your emotions, calm your body, and deal with anxiety when it arises.
See “When should you try this?” to learn more about when you should control your emotions.
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