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This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in family relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, parenting and so on. Kelli also runs groups at The Villa. The Treatment Center is for people who are recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is the host of “The Dr. Debra and Therapist Kelli Show” on LA Talk Radio, you can see her work on Instagram @kellimillertherapy and www.kellimillertherapy.com.She received her Master of Arts degree. Sociology from the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
This article has been viewed 9,540 times.
Talking to teens about masturbation can be embarrassing and intimidating. Your child may not be interested in talking to you either. While it’s not easy, it’s a way to make sure your child knows the facts about masturbation and knows that you’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics. During the conversation, say that what your child is going through is normal, so he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed.
Steps
Start a conversation
- For example, “We’ll be home alone on Sunday afternoon, so I want to talk to you about something special. It’s no big deal and you won’t be in trouble, don’t worry.”
- Try to keep the conversation light and comfortable.
Tip: If you feel stressed or upset, take a few deep breaths to calm down. You can also count to 10.
- For example, you might say, “Now that you’re an adult, you’re probably starting to want to explore your body. I wanted to talk about this topic today so you know what you’re going through is normal.”
- You might say, “You didn’t do anything wrong. The need to touch is normal, and I just wanted to provide more information about it.”
Clarify facts and expectations
- For example, “Masturbation is a natural behavior that does not harm the body. What did you hear about that?”
- Advise children not to feel ashamed. Privacy is about respecting yourself and others, not hiding your own behavior.
- You might say, “I think masturbation is a safe way to satisfy a sexual need. I hope you won’t have sex until you’re an adult and know what you want. However, I know you’re a smart kid and I respect the choices you feel are right.
Warning: You may have a religious or spiritual background that doesn’t support masturbation, but it’s important to let your child decide what’s right for him. Let your child know how you feel, but don’t embarrass him or her to reluctantly follow your expectations. Otherwise, the child will have unhealthy sexual habits. [8] X Research Sources
- For girls, tell them to wash their hands before and after masturbation, and to wash used utensils. Explain that dirty hands or utensils can cause a urinary tract infection.
- For boys, teach your child to use clean hands and clean up afterwards.
- You could say, “Dad started masturbating in middle school, but not as often anymore,” or “Many people like to masturbate, but some people don’t. However, that’s not what you should be asking.”
- If your child opens up and asks questions, you can say, “I’m so glad you shared. I hope you will always talk to me when needed.”
- If your child doesn’t say anything, you can say, “I want you to know that you can tell me anything, and I’m always happy to answer questions. However, you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”
finished the conversation
- For example, your child may ask, “Is masturbating every day bad for my health?” or “Does masturbation make me infertile?” The answer to both of these questions is “No”.
- Likewise, children may also ask about dreams.
- You will easily find the answer online. However, you should not find out information with children to avoid children seeing inappropriate information.
Tip: Be aware that if you don’t respond quickly to your child’s questions, he’ll probably figure it out on his own. Children can also ask their friends, but they are better off getting answers from you.
- You can say, “I know you’re confused with what you’re going through, but you need to know this is normal and healthy, so don’t feel guilty.”
- For example, you might say, “Do you need anything more from me?”
- This is a way to help your child feel comfortable if he or she later asks you about condoms or birth control pills. Even though you hope your child won’t need them, it’s still better to have the information in advance.
Advice: You do not need to facilitate the child to perform sexual acts. However, it is very important for children to have what they need to stay safe. Otherwise, the child will engage in harmful behaviors.
- You could say, “I’m sure you’re still thinking about what we talked about Saturday. Do you have any questions?”
- Don’t rummage through your child’s things or knock on the door if you suspect your child is masturbating.
Advice
- Because children can access the Internet, they will find information about masturbation on their own.
- Try to talk to your child before you see signs that he’s started masturbating. This way, children will have the most accurate information about how to masturbate safely before doing it.
Warning
- Making children feel ashamed of masturbation will have a negative effect. You need to let your child know that their need to masturbate is normal. [17] X Research Source
This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in family relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, parenting and so on. Kelli also runs groups at The Villa. The Treatment Center is for people who are recovering from alcohol and drug addiction. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is the host of “The Dr. Debra and Therapist Kelli Show” on LA Talk Radio, you can see her work on Instagram @kellimillertherapy and www.kellimillertherapy.com.She received her Master of Arts degree. Sociology from the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
This article has been viewed 9,540 times.
Talking to teens about masturbation can be embarrassing and intimidating. Your child may not be interested in talking to you either. While it’s not easy, it’s a way to make sure your child knows the facts about masturbation and knows that you’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics. During the conversation, say that what your child is going through is normal, so he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed.
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