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This article was co-written by Maggie Mitchell. Maggie Mitchell is a life coach and owner of InnerCoastal Coaching in Raleigh, North Carpina. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in assisting individual clients with communication, anxiety, stress, problem solving, decision making, meditation and healthy limits. Maggie holds a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Gannon University and a Certificate in Advanced Coaching from the International Coaching Community (ICC).
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,571 times.
When we have trouble with sensitive things in life, we often turn to our mothers. However, sometimes confiding to your mother is not easy. Shyness is understandable, and there are plenty of ways you can talk to your mom more comfortably. Be prepared by thinking carefully about when and how you should talk to your mother; Be mentally ready to face stress and try to be straightforward and polite. Finally, end the conversation on a positive note, ask her for advice, and thank her for her time.
Steps
Make a decision about the conversation
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Choose the right time. If the issue you want to talk about can make the situation uncomfortable, finding the right time and place to speak is important. Talking when mom is busy or stressed will only make things worse. [1] X Research Source
- Choose a time with no time restrictions. If you’re going to talk to your mom about something personal or embarrassing, make sure you and your mom have the time you need to talk about it.
- You should also choose a time when both you and your mother are stress-free. Don’t tell your mom about embarrassing or embarrassing things when you’re already in a bad mood. If you both have a Saturday off, that might be a good time to talk.
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Prepare for embarrassment. If you’re going to talk to your mom about something private, it’s normal to feel embarrassed. Be mentally prepared for this to be able to speak more easily. [2] X Research Source
- Don’t try to hide your embarrassment or embarrassment. Doing so only makes you more focused on those feelings.
- Instead, admit to being embarrassed and remind yourself why you want to talk about this. For example, if you want to talk to your mother about sex or dating, for example, opening up will be difficult, but she can give you valuable advice from her maturity and experience.
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Determine the purpose of the conversation. You shouldn’t talk without knowing what you really want. Surely you must have had a reason to choose to confide in a private matter with your mother. Think of this reason to lead the conversation better. [3] X Research Sources
- Maybe you just need your mom to listen. If you’re confused about a personal matter, chances are you just need someone to vent to, if so, tell your mom you don’t need advice or guidance, just listen. never mind.
- However, if you need advice, think about how you would like your mother to help. You can ask directly, such as, “Mom, I need some advice from you about this.”
Efficiently communicate
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Start a conversation. It can be very stressful to open up to your mother. However, a conversation can easily start with a simple sentence. Take a few deep breaths, walk up to your mom, and start talking. [4] X Research Sources
- Say simple sentences, such as: “Mom, are you free? I have something to tell you.”
- If you’re worried that your mom will get angry, you can try to hedge in advance, such as: “Mom, if this happens, you’ll probably be upset. But I want to tell you anyway, you’re just mad at me. that’s OK”.
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Be frank. If it’s important, don’t go around and get straight to the point. Straightforwardness helps to start the conversation openly and honestly. [5] X Research Sources
- Tell her in detail so that she can understand the problem you are presenting, do not try to hide anything.
- For example, start out clearly, directly, like, “Mom, I’ve been dating Mr. A for a while and he wants to go overboard. I’m not sure I’m ready, but he kept asking. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
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Listen to your mother’s point of view. You may not need advice, but it’s a parent’s job to guide their children, so even if you disagree, you should listen to your mother’s opinion. [6] X Research Sources
- Try to understand your mother’s point of view. If you feel frustrated, stop for a moment and put yourself in your mother’s shoes. Think about why she has such a view.
- For example, you tell your mother about a friend of yours who is addicted to drugs and she reacts in a very negative way. You may think your mother is too judgmental, but maybe it’s because she once had a friend who was very addicted when she was in high school, so she reacted so harshly.
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Always be polite and respectful when conversing. When sharing a private matter, chances are your mom’s reaction won’t be what you expect. You may be sad, worried, or even angry. Either way, you have to be very calm, don’t turn the conversation into an argument, or both mother and child will not solve the problem at all. [7] X Research Sources
- Remember the basic code of conduct, do not interrupt and do not raise your voice to your mother.
- Always take note of what she says, whether you like it or not. For example, “I understand that you are worried that Hanh will negatively affect me, but I am worried about Hanh because she is my friend”.
End the conversation on a positive note
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Avoid arguing. You shouldn’t let the conversation turn into an argument. Even if your mother’s reaction is negative, you should refrain from arguing with her. Always speak to your mother calmly and respectfully even if you find her unfair. [8] X Research Sources
- If you feel like you’re about to lose control, you should pause the conversation. You can say to your mom, “I don’t think this conversation is going to get anywhere. Can you and I talk about this later?”.
- Then you can do something to calm your anger, such as going for a walk or talking to a friend.
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Deal with negative reactions. Your mom’s reaction may not be what you want it to be. She may get angry, even punish or ban you. If your mother reacts this way, try to find an effective way to deal with it. [9] X Research Source
- If she starts going to class or says things that don’t help you, tell her directly. You can say things like, “I really don’t need advice. I just want to talk.”
- If your mother forbids you from doing something (For example, “I don’t want you to play with Hanh anymore”), accept it for the time being. You can talk to her again when she has calmed down. Arguing at that moment might make her more assertive with the prohibition. [10] X Research Source
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Ask for advice if you want. Maybe you need some advice before you confide in your mom. If so, tell your mom after you’ve explained the problem. You might say, “I really need your advice because I really don’t know what to do.” [11] X Research Source
- Remember, just because someone gives you advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it. However, it may be helpful to listen to and consider your mother’s point of view.
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Talk to someone else if you won’t listen. If it’s too difficult to talk about, or if she reacts too negatively and doesn’t want to talk about it, talk to someone else. [12] X Research Source
- You can talk to your dad, aunt, uncle, uncle, older cousin or a friend of your parents.
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This article was co-written by Maggie Mitchell. Maggie Mitchell is a life coach and owner of InnerCoastal Coaching in Raleigh, North Carpina. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in assisting individual clients with communication, anxiety, stress, problem solving, decision making, meditation and healthy limits. Maggie holds a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Gannon University and a Certificate in Advanced Coaching from the International Coaching Community (ICC).
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,571 times.
When we have trouble with sensitive things in life, we often turn to our mothers. However, sometimes confiding to your mother is not easy. Shyness is understandable, and there are plenty of ways you can talk to your mom more comfortably. Be prepared by thinking carefully about when and how you should talk to your mother; Be mentally ready to face stress and try to be straightforward and polite. Finally, end the conversation on a positive note, ask her for advice, and thank her for her time.
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