You are viewing the article How to Take Control of Your Emotions at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 30 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 52,847 times.
While emotions are neither right nor wrong, some emotions can make you miserable if left unnoticed. Fortunately, you can use a variety of mental health techniques along with lifestyle changes to manage and overcome negative emotions.
Steps
Direct your focus to mind and body
- Your body will have some response to heart palpitations, muscle tension, and rapid or shallow breathing. [1] X Research Source
- Mentally, you’ll start to lose focus, feel anxious, scared or overwhelmed, or feel like you can’t control your thoughts.
- Stay calm and focus on only one body response at a time. For example, if you suddenly feel anxious, you need to pay attention to that feeling in your body: “My heart is beating really fast. My hands are sweating.” You need to recognize and accept that feeling instead of judging what’s going on. [2] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- To try this method, first place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Next, inhale slowly and deeply through your nose while counting to 4. Feel the rise in your chest and abdomen as you inhale.
- Hold your breath for 1 or 2 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Try to breathe deeply 6-10 times per minute. [4] X Research Sources
- If you find it difficult to inhale and count to 4 at the same time, you can start by counting to 2 and gradually increase as you practice. Try to breathe as deeply as possible.
- Calming exercises use most or all of the five senses to bring you back to reality. It’s important to speak out loud because it’s a way to help direct your mind away from your emotions. Coming back to your body and focusing on the present moment is a great way to calm you down and stop the emotional spiral.
- For example, you look around and say out loud what you see. Listen to the sound and describe it. Notice the smells there and see if you can taste any on your tongue. You could say “Carpets and walls have different tones of blue, the art on the walls looks abstract with blues, reds, grays and whites. I could smell coffee coming from the break room along with the smell of old files.”
- Notice how you feel as you sit in your chair with your coffee cup in hand. How do you feel about your outfit, are your muscles sore or tight? You can focus on simple things like the hand resting on your lap.
- Make a cup of hot tea and focus on how you feel when you drink the tea at that moment. How does a cup of tea make you feel? What does a cup of tea smell and taste like? Please describe clearly.
- Describe in detail the picture you see, listing as many details as possible.
- Bring essential oils to smell when you feel stressed. Focus on the essential oil and describe in detail how you feel about the oil.
- If you have trouble relaxing your body, try Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). You will systematically stretch and release muscle groups, starting at your toes and working your way up. Applying such a method is useful when you cannot focus on identifying the stress zone.
- Your safe place can be the beach, spa, temple, or your bedroom – any place that helps you feel safe and relaxed. Think about the sounds you hear, the things you see and even the tastes and textures.
- If you can’t close your eyes or have a clear picture of your safe place, try a quick association. Remind yourself of a sense of peace, balance, and take a few deep breaths in a calm manner.
- If a negative emotion comes up during visualization, you see that emotion as an object that you can remove from safety. For example, stress is a pebble that you can throw away and imagine the stress leaving your body as you throw the stone.
- You can also create digital books with photos, satires, inspirational quotes, animations, etc. to help you feel more comfortable.
Face your feelings
- For example, ask yourself what makes you nervous about the test. The answer may be that it greatly affects your future, or that you feel you must do well to impress your family. The root cause is probably the fear that affection from your family will depend on your success.
- Naming emotions is probably a skill you haven’t learned yet. Fortunately, you can use exercises from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) to help you learn how to label emotions. Here’s a fun exercise to try: https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/What_Skills.pdf
- Remember that there is no such thing as a “wrong” emotion. Asking yourself not to feel something will hurt yourself more deeply. Instead, you should pay attention to your feelings without judgment. Accept your feelings as natural and allow yourself to feel them.
- Think of your emotion as a character holding that emotion, and then bring the emotion back to the cause of it.
- Identifying and naming the real emotions underlying the emotional upheaval helps you control them. Now that you can identify the cause of the emotion, you know it’s just a feeling and it can’t control you.
- For example, you might call a friend to vent or write down your thoughts in a journal.
- If you’re feeling unhappy, spend some time alone crying.
- If you feel anger, stress, or jealousy in your body, you can work to release that emotion. Go for a walk or do some yoga.
- Instead of replaying the problem at work thinking, “Why am I so bad at work?”, make a list of things you can fix. Try talking to your boss about how to improve your productivity, get help from someone more experienced, or try other stress management methods.
- Learn to accept the things that your powers cannot change. Letting go of the idea that you need to “adjust” or “control” every aspect of things is one way to free yourself from stress and emotional upheaval. [10] X Research Source
- Think about your moral principles. How do you want this to turn out? Which decision would you be most proud of? Next, try asking yourself what actions will produce the results you want.
- For example, when someone insults you, will you do nothing, react angrily, or forcefully ask them to stop? Ask yourself how you want to stop this and how to get there without compromising your beliefs.
React to your emotions in a healthy way
- Refuse to listen to negative feedback
- Make excuses for your failure
- Blame someone else
- Crossing your arms in front of your chest makes others dare not speak up
- Smile or nod to stop the other person talking
- List reasons to prove you are right without listening to others
- Ignore other people’s feedback
- Criticize or criticize others to distract from self-criticism.
- For example, you often get angry every time you see your sister. Before the family gathering, you should find a way to relax, plan to not have too much contact with her throughout the day. You can plan to do something with another relative, or make an excuse to go somewhere and leave the table. Limit your contact time with her and find ways to leave the meeting earlier, if necessary.
- When you’re ready to speak up, you’ll first calmly tell them about your feelings. You can say, “I get annoyed when I feel like you’re just trying to make me lose my temper.”
- Next, talk about what’s going on and encourage them to talk about it, then listen and respond to them. For example, you could say, “Let’s discuss this together, to try to finish the project on time. What do you think about this?”
- For example, you may feel annoyed when your spouse often doesn’t wash the dishes. Instead of starting an argument, you’ll start washing the dishes and politely ask your spouse for help.
- If this sounds difficult, try starting with one small change at a time. Instead of raising your voice to your spouse, talk to them about your feelings in a calm voice. If this is still too difficult, you can choose to leave the situation and relax for 5 minutes. Over time, you will also change your response in a positive way. [14] X Research Source
- For example, when assigned to a department with people who are not focused, you will be uncomfortable sitting in meetings with them. One way to deal with anger is to ask to be transferred to another department.
Behave confidently and frankly
- For example, if a friend invites you to a party, you might say, “Thanks for thinking of me! But I don’t like crowds, so I had to miss this party. Can we meet for coffee next week?” This allows you to express your feelings instead of keeping them to yourself and letting your emotions control you.
- For example, instead of saying “I don’t care about you at all,” you could say, “I feel hurt when you don’t call me as promised. What happened?”
- For example, after you share your opinion, ask additional questions: “What are your thoughts on this idea?”
- For example, instead of thinking, “Lovers shouldn’t hurt my feelings,” you can remind yourself that they didn’t mean it and that both of you can make mistakes.
- If you are hard on yourself, be kind and empathetic towards yourself. For example, if you are thinking, “I should have studied this part carefully for the test. I’m going to fail”, change it to “I studied hard and prepared as thoroughly as possible. No matter what happens, I’ll be fine.”
Establish an exercise routine that helps you stay calm
- Listen to relaxing music.
- Petting a dog or cat. Besides focusing on the senses, research shows that frequent contact with pets can reduce depression. [21] X Research Source
- Take a walk in a quiet place and focus on the beauty of your surroundings.
- Take a bath or shower with warm water. Body warmth is relaxing and soothing for most people. [22] X Research Source
- Eat your favorite food and pay attention to the taste.
- Place your hand on your chest. Feel the beating of your heart, the rise and fall of your chest, and the warmth of your skin. Say positive words to yourself like, “I deserve to be loved” or “I am nice.”
- Embrace yourself. Wrap your arms in front of your chest and place your hands on the tops of your arms, then hug yourself. Say something positive like “I love myself.”
- Place your hands on your cheeks as you would a friend with a child or lover and stroke your face with your fingers. Say a few kind words to yourself like, “I’m beautiful. I’m kind.”
- Sit with your back straight in a quiet, comfortable place. Take a deep breath and focus on an element of your breath, like the sound or rise in your chest as you inhale. [26] X Research Sources
- Extend your focus to the rest of your body. Notice what your other senses are sensing as well. Try not to judge or focus too much on one feeling.
- Accept each thought and feeling as it comes and identify it without judgment by saying to yourself, “I have a thought that my nose is itching.” If you feel your focus is distracted, focus your attention on the breath.
- I don’t always feel this way, this feeling will pass.
- My thoughts and feelings are not true
- I don’t have to act on emotions.
- I’m fine in this moment, even if it’s uncomfortable.
- Emotions come and go, I was able to get over this in the past.
Towards long-term well-being
- Think about how your family has handled conflicts in the past. Did your parents express or hide their feelings? Are there any feelings that are not accepted? Which emotion made you feel most uncomfortable and how did your family handle it? [29] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- You can also think about a turning point in your life, such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, or a major change like moving house or losing a job. How did you feel and how did you react?
- For example, feeling like you’re not good enough is seen as a “disclaimer” mindset: if someone says good things about you, it doesn’t matter, but if someone says bad things about you, you think. “knew it”. Challenge this by noticing all the good things you do in life.
- The emotional upheaval caused by fear can be understood as a tendency to draw conclusions: you make negative judgments even when there is no fact to back it up. Challenge this thinking by pausing before each action and finding evidence to support your conclusions.
- No matter what complex negative emotions you recognize, you can challenge most of them by asking yourself what the unbiased truth is and showing empathy for yourself.
- Use journaling to identify emotions, address things that make you feel bad, show empathy for yourself, think about the causes of some emotional reactions, take responsibility, and manage emotions your.
- Ask questions when journaling, such as: How am I feeling? Did I think about something that provoked this reaction? What should I do when I feel this way? Was I like this before?
- Practice replacing strong affirmations with more flexible connotations. For example, when you are stressed during an exam, you will assume that there is no use in studying because you will fail the exam.
- Instead of assuming you can’t improve, change your mindset to, “I’ll create more review sheets and join a study group. I may not get a perfect score, but I know I did my best.” Seeing things as something that can be changed with a little effort will increase your chances of success.
- Difficulty regulating emotions can sometimes be a sign of a more serious problem, like past abuse or trauma, or a sign of a disorder such as depression.
Warning
- Controlling emotions is one thing, but suppressing or denying the existence of emotions is a completely different matter. Emotional suppression can cause physical disturbances and many emotional symptoms.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 30 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 52,847 times.
While emotions are neither right nor wrong, some emotions can make you miserable if left unnoticed. Fortunately, you can use a variety of mental health techniques along with lifestyle changes to manage and overcome negative emotions.
Thank you for reading this post How to Take Control of Your Emotions at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: