How to Stop Missing Someone

Coping with feelings of missing someone is not easy at all. Whether that person left you for a short period of time, decided to cut ties between the two of you, is no longer in this world, or has moved to a new city, the pain and longing you feel This is a perfectly normal response to this loss. You must learn coping plans to alleviate the difficulties associated with missing someone. They will help you gradually feel more at ease, accept and understand that they are gone, but you will never forget them.

Table of Contents

Dealing With A Short Time Away

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Countdown. Mark each day that passes on your calendar and congratulate yourself on the day that passes. Focus on your life one day at a time. The absence of someone you love will change your life. For the person who has to arrange life when the other person leaves, it is extremely important to focus on how to successfully get through each day!

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Focus on other relationships. Time is a priceless gift. You now have time to talk to the people you care about, but not as much time together as you would like. Those people include your partner or spouse and family members who do not live with you.

If you’re married and your kids are all grown up and they’re leaving home to go to college, then now you’ll have time to do the things you’ve been putting off. ^{[1] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

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Prepare gifts. Prepare gifts that show care and send them to the other person. Every item you buy gives you the opportunity to focus on that person, do something for her, and then send your affection towards her. If you have kids, set aside a weeknight where you and the kids can draw and make crafts that you can include in gift wrap.

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Make time for the projects you want. Being busy with household chores will distract you and help improve your living environment. Focusing on the tasks and completing them will help the time pass faster. There may be difficult days, but there is always something you can do.

Rearrange your life while the other person is traveling. Make your living environment a wonderful place so she’ll be happy to return. Even simple things like cleaning and organizing the house are seen as a significant improvement. This gives you something to do and the results you get will be very positive.
Plant trees to bring life energy to your place.
Wipe windows and blinds. Everyone loves to have a bright view of the outside.
Repaint the faded fence.
Fix squeaky doors, leaky faucets, or bring broken items in for repair.
Improve the look of the house. Planting some colorful flowers in the aisle or placing a beautiful potted plant on the porch will brighten up your home.

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Long term planning. There are some plans that take a lot of time and effort to execute. If you have plenty of time, consider making a plan that won’t end until the other person returns. This will give you and the other person something to look forward to and hold you accountable for fulfilling your promises.

If your wife is on a business trip, tell her that you plan to complete a project like building a small wooden deck in the yard.
If you two have kids, join a project that you know will help you and the kids get through the days without each other.
Start designing a garden you’ve always wanted.
Raise funds for military service or any other cause important to your wife. Reporting progress to her will help her feel that even though she’s not at home, she’s still loved and still plays a vital role.

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Plan to communicate with each other during the time of separation. Talk via skype, email or handwritten letters and cards. This is beneficial because you expect to talk to each other. When you write to her, you’ll feel like she’s still around, and it’s also a pleasure to receive a reply. Positive feelings will fade over time, which will be extremely helpful in helping you manage your time away from her.

Next Steps After Breaking Up

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Take time to process your emotions. If you’re dealing with someone after a breakup, especially if it’s a serious relationship, one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is move on. Let yourself cry, get angry, get confused, and let out all the emotions you’ve been holding back inside.

Everyone experiences emotions in different ways. ^{[2] X Research Source} You may cry a lot, but you may also want to write down your feelings. Everyone has different ways.
Avoid crowded places for a short time or confide in your friends or family. Some people don’t like to share their feelings and that’s completely acceptable.
Writing down your thoughts can help you identify the emotions that are causing you grief.
Don’t be ashamed of your pain, even if others think your relationship isn’t serious. No one can understand the pain you are going through because it is your pain.

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Grief over broken relationship. Most people are taught to take things in, but almost no one teaches them how to lose something. This leaves people unskilled enough to deal with the losses that life brings. Whether what you lose is a relationship, someone you love, a job, physical ability or trust with someone, the damage they cause needs to be understood and addressed. Grief is a complex emotion and everyone has different ways of expressing it.

Unresolved pain will make the feeling of being trapped in longing for a person worse.
The grieving process has certain steps that can be used as a guide to help you better understand your grief: denial, dumbfounded, and amazed; agree; hopeless; angry; accept. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Sadness is a separate journey. Everyone will experience it in different ways. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
You will probably spend more time at this stage than others.
Don’t push yourself and don’t let others push you through your own pain. Pain takes time and it is essential to the healing process.

READ More: How to Train Your Brain

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When you’re ready, let go of the things that remind you of the person. It can be extremely difficult to see objects that remind you of that person. Put leftover personal items in a box and return them to the person, throw them away, or put them away where you can’t see them. Do the same for the items you keep. It becomes much easier to stop missing someone when you no longer see those objects every day.

If you find something so special to you that you can’t live without it, put it away for a while.
If you feel too grieving to do it alone, ask your friend for help. You will feel a lot more confident moving forward without the other person.
Think about it: how can you stop missing someone if a picture of him or her is still lying next to your bed?

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Stop communicating with the other person. If you’re sure the relationship is over but you still talk to or see him regularly, this will make it harder to stop missing him. If you can completely avoid seeing your ex, do so. Continuing to stay in touch will only make you more torn inside and that is not in your favor at all.

Don’t call or text your ex to find out how he’s doing. That just makes you feel worse.
If you absolutely must see him at school, work, or anywhere else, simply say, “Hi,” and spend as little time with him as possible. Your feelings tend to increase after meeting him, and that will make you miss him. This is only temporary so be strong and get over it.
Stop communicating with him on all social media. If you keep seeing his pictures, your mind will wander over and over and remember everything that happened between the two of you.

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Say goodbye to that person and your relationship. The rituals we do when something ends have a purpose. Graduation, funeral, closing ceremony – they all offer an end point. They allow us to perceive that something is over. Creating a goodbye ritual will help end your relationship with pain and help you reduce feelings of longing for the other person.

Write a letter to the other person, but don’t send it. Write down everything you two have been through together. Thank him for all the good and bad he brings. Release anger. Tell him, “I no longer need the pain I’m going through because I miss you so I’m giving it back to you. Goodbye.” ^{[5] X Research Sources}

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Find out your options in dating. When you feel ready, consider dating someone new. You may think that dating someone immediately will ease the pain; but often it just makes you feel worse for losing the other person. Rarely do you find the “right person” as soon as a week after your serious relationship ends.

Being with someone new can remind you of all the things you loved about your ex, and that will make you miss him even more.
Dating someone new when you’re not ready won’t fill the void you’re experiencing.
Spend time with friends who can help you feel better.

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Change your daily habits. Stop doing things you used to do together or things that remind you of your ex. Avoid going to the restaurant where the two of you first went on a date or your favorite spot in the park near your house. Buy coffee or bread at another store for a few weeks and see if that makes you feel better in the morning. Don’t completely give up on all the things you used to do, but do something new so that you will feel less of the old person.

You’ll feel more confident doing things you’ve always wanted to do but your ex didn’t like, like climbing mountains or learning to cook pasta. Find a way to assert yourself without your ex, and you’ll find that you’ll soon miss him.
If your ex is in your social circle, you can avoid the parties he’s likely going to for a while. Find other ways to make yourself happier.

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Rely on friends. ^{[6] X Research Source} Being with friends is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you spend time with close friends, you will feel grateful for the love and support you receive. You always have someone to turn to, who will always be there for you during difficult times.

If you can, see at least a few friends a week so you can stop focusing on your ex.
Your friends won’t say something that will magically make your pain go away, but having them around can make a big difference.

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Try to improve yourself. When you’re with your ex, you probably don’t have time to improve yourself. Take the time to focus on being healthy, happy, and achieving the things you desire. Make it a goal to train for a marathon, finish a novel, be less obsessive, or do something you’ve always wanted to do to improve yourself.

Identify the things you want to improve. Perhaps there are things that will prevent you from feeling happy. Maybe you worry too much or you can get good things if you are more confident.

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Focus on enhancing your career. Focus your mind on doing something positive and meaningful. You’ll miss him less if you have a job that gets you excited when you wake up in the morning. Getting feedback from the people you work with will help improve your self-assessment of the quality of your work. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Keep yourself busy and active. Don’t hang around the house or lie in bed. Spend time outside with friends and keep your schedule busy and interesting so there’s something to look forward to in the future.

This can be a great time to start a new hobby like yoga, volleyball, playing the guitar, or cooking. ^{[8] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source}

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Focus on the positive things. A broken relationship can make you focus on all the mistakes in that relationship. Identify the positives of that relationship, what you learned, and how those lessons will help you in the future. Learn to appreciate your own experiences. ^{[9] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

Being grateful for what you’ve been through and what it has brought to your life will help improve your physical as well as mental health. ^{[10] X Research Sources} When you’re healthy, you’ll be more willing to deal with the emotions associated with missing someone.

Facing the Leaving of the One You Love

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Allow yourself to grieve. If you are facing the loss of someone you love, you should give yourself time to grieve and accept your own feelings. You won’t be able to stop thinking about someone if you don’t give yourself time to calm down, release your emotions, and grieve over the loss of that person. ^{[11] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

As mentioned earlier, everyone’s grieving process is different. If you need to be alone for some time, make sure your friends and family understand it by telling them, “I’m grieving and it’s hard, but I’m trying to get through it. I hope you can understand that it takes time and I’m not sure how long it will last. I guess I’m the only one who can tell.”
If you spend too much time alone and feel lonely, make sure you spend some time with other people.
Journaling, ^{[12] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} of your feelings, review old photos of the person, or simply cry out loud. If you don’t cry, don’t feel guilty about it. Everyone has different ways of expressing sadness.

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Respect the person’s memories. This is a healthy way to move forward and remember the deceased, and carry on what they left behind. This means talking about the person with your friends or family, doing some of the things the person used to enjoy, whether it’s volunteering for the community or reading stories to the kids. even listen to a song that person likes.

If doing the things that person used to enjoy makes you sadder, change your routine. However, when you feel that you’ve slowly let go of the past, continue to maintain a few of the things that the person likes. That can bring you closer to positive memories of the person without missing them too much.
Remember that you are not trying to forget the person or never think about him again. You just want to try to remember that person positively, feel it, and then let everyone drift into the past.

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Talk to people who also miss him. It’s not good for you to never ask to mention or throw away all the things that remind you of him. However, you can temporarily do so if you feel too distressed, but in the long run you will gradually become more comfortable talking about the person. You may find that laughing about the funny things that person has said or done helps you feel less distressed and helps the wound heal faster. ^{[13] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

Reliving happy memories of that person can help you feel calmer about the fact that the person is gone. While you can’t bring the person back, talking about those memories can help with the recovery process.

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Understand that your relationship isn’t over yet, but it has changed. A relationship usually consists of two parts: physical and mental. Your physical relationship with that person may have ended, but your mental relationship is still there. You will never completely forget that person.

Trying not to miss him doesn’t mean you’re betraying him. If that person loves you, then he will be happy that you are trying to move on.
You can’t completely stop thinking about that person, especially during anniversaries, holidays, or important moments you’ve shared. Instead of ignoring the loss, say to yourself or someone else, “I really miss ____ today. He used to love this day. Let’s raise a toast and remember ____. Everyone loves you very much.” This shows gratitude for the person’s influences and helps with the recovery process.
It won’t hurt to think of that person from time to time, but it can also help to enjoy the present instead of longing for the past.

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Spend time with family and friends. Family and friends are always there to support and help you through this difficult time. Perhaps they also feel grief and people can lean on each other and spend a lot of time feeling loved, cared for, and simply having someone around. You need love to get through this difficult time, and spending time with the people you love will help you miss that person less. ^{[14] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

New friends or other family members can never take that person’s place in your heart and make you forget about him.
If you find that some of your friends or family members seem to have “got over” the loss more quickly, don’t fret. Everyone has a different grieving time. You may not know how the person is really feeling.

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Consider using psychotherapy. If you want help moving forward, see your doctor. If you’re not sure if any therapy is right for you, try it before you decide. Talking to a specialist about your situation can help you understand better. To seek help and overcome difficulties in life requires courage and strength. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Be proud of yourself for getting the help you need to stay healthy. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or weak because you need psychotherapy.

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Write down your own thoughts. Instead of letting them weigh on you throughout the day, it can be helpful to get your feelings out on a page-by-page basis. Write it down every morning or evening for self-examination and stress relief. Alternatively, you can also write it down when a thought suddenly pops into your mind. Find out what’s right for you.

Write the person a letter, but don’t send it. Write down everything you two have been through together. Thank him for all the good and the sadness he brings. Release anger. Tell him, “I no longer need the pain I’m going through because I miss you so I’m giving it back to you. Goodbye.” ^{[16] X Research Source}
Read the letter aloud to yourself or a trusted friend or family member, then burn it in a safe place. Burning is a way to clear and change your emotional turmoil.

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Find a comfortable way of life. When you lose someone, you can become so focused on the loss and the person that you are gone that you forget to take care of yourself. To feel less about that person, make sure your daily routine helps you feel better. This means getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night, ^{[17] X Source:} Eat three meals even if you don’t feel hungry, and spend at least 30 minutes a day exercising.

You probably don’t think that eating and sleeping in moderation can make any difference when you’re struggling with extreme pain, but it certainly can. A healthy body makes you stronger and can deal with problems more effectively.
Avoid things that can increase your stress levels, including traffic jams, loud concerts, overtime work, or spending time with a pessimistic friend. While you can’t completely let go of the stress you’re experiencing, you can try to keep it to a minimum.
Set aside 15 minutes a day to practice yoga or meditation. ^{[18] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} This can help you get more in touch with your mind and body and become calmer throughout the day.
Focus on your own health. A third of those directly impacted by the death of someone important to them face both physical and emotional problems. ^{[19] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} You may feel anxious, depressed and have no energy left to do anything, but you can’t ignore your own needs either.

Facing That Person Moving Elsewhere

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Continue to stay in touch. If your friend moves away or is away for the summer, make sure you stay in touch with that person. If you know that the two of you will talk on the phone or Skype every week, you’ll feel closer and less alone. Regular contact with that person can allow you to look forward to the conversation between the two of you.

If the person goes to a very far away place, you can communicate through email and international messaging software. You may think that talking will make you miss the person more, but in reality it will help you realize that the person hasn’t completely left you.

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Don’t talk too often. Don’t make it a habit to talk to that person every day or text all the time. You won’t be able to enjoy your current life and often won’t step out of your comfort zone to try new things or meet new people.

If the person moving out is someone who wants to talk more, explain that it’s important for the two of you to stay in touch, but you also don’t want to become too dependent on each other. ^{[20] X Research Source}
Call that person if you’re making a big decision or something important just happened, but also find someone near you who can be with you, too.

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Plan to visit if possible. Planning to meet that person will give you something more to look forward to and will reduce the feeling that you will never see that person again. If you know that you’ll be hanging out with him for a few weeks, you’ll feel less like talking to him all the time and will actually miss him less.

You’re both living your own lives, and if the two of you visit each other too often, you’re likely to prevent yourself from participating in social events with other people. You don’t want others to exclude you from social events because they think you’ll always be with the person you miss.

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Write a letter to that person. If you do this once every few weeks, it gives you a chance to access your feelings and thoughts and makes you less obligated to call or text that person all the time. This is a fun way to talk and it will make you feel less missed.

Writing letters is an intimate way of talking and allows the two of you to feel close even if you are thousands of kilometers apart.

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Find new ways to fill your time. Maybe you just want to sit around and miss the other person. Instead, find new things to do to keep yourself busy like, play bowling with new friends or learn how to play the guitar. If your plans are empty, you’ll tend to keep thinking about him.

Take up a new sport, like running or basketball.
Try a new hobby, like photography, drawing, or cooking.
Sign up for fun classes in your community or school, like improving your writing or bartending skills.
Discover a love of literature. Read all the books you’ve been meaning to read but haven’t done yet.
Find a new form of exercise. Cycling, climbing, and yoga can both fill your time and make you feel great.

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Try to open your heart to new people. ^{[21] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} Try to be more user-friendly with newbies. Expand invitations to meet people. Although you may feel shy, try to get to know people little by little. Smile, be friendly, and open up to the people you meet.

Start by asking a few random questions. Tell a fun fact or two about yourself or make a few witty remarks. If you try harder, you will have more friends and will miss that person less.
Never use someone else to replace the person who left. He is very important to you and always will be. Instead, focus on finding interesting new people to make your life more exciting.
Give others a chance. Maybe you and the person you suspected in the past, have more in common than you think. When you spend time with them, you’ll realize that after all you love having them around.

Advice

Laughter is the best medicine. While it’s beneficial to grieve someone’s death, you also need to make sure you’re in good spirits and keep yourself around interesting people.
Try to find something fun to distract yourself.
Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying will benefit you and allow you to express your feelings.
Review photos and letters or messages that the person sent you, but limit the time you do so to avoid being completely distracted.
Don’t think about the arguments you two had or the hard times. Live a positive life.
If you need to stop thinking about that person, tell yourself, “Stop. I’m not thinking about him right now. I have a lot of work to do and I’ll think about it now. hour”. Try to get the person out of your mind.
Remember the fun things you two do together and look forward to seeing them again.
You cannot make things go back to the way they were. Instead, focus on a bright, happy future.

Warning

Unresolved sadness can manifest in a variety of ways, both physically and psychologically. Learn to deal with sadness by accessing information from trusted sources. Don’t block your chance to grieve and end the relationship grieving the loss.

Steps