How to Stop Judging and Criticizing Others

Having a critical or critical mindset will put a strain on your work and personal relationships, but it can be difficult for you to change the way you think. Reducing judgment or criticism takes time and practice, but there are a few methods that will help you change your mind. For example, you can teach yourself how to challenge critical thinking, focus on the strengths of others, and learn how to present constructive criticism rather than being harsh and negative. pole. After a while, you will find yourself becoming more appreciative and encouraging of others rather than judging and criticizing them.

Table of Contents

Develop less critical thinking

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Pause when you begin to form judgmental thoughts. This type of thinking usually comes on its own, so sometimes you need to learn how to stop it. You should try to pay more attention to your critical thoughts and stop to study them as they emerge. ^{[1] X Research Source}

When you realize that you are having a critical thought, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge it. For example, if you’re thinking, “I can’t believe she’s allowed her kids to leave the house like that,” you should stop and admit that you’re judging others.

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Challenge critical thinking. Once you have identified your critical and critical mindset, you need to challenge it. You can do this by thinking about the assumptions you make of others. ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, when you’re thinking “I can’t believe she’s allowed her baby to leave the house like that,” you’re assuming the woman is a terrible mother or that she doesn’t care about her children. me. However, the truth may be that the mother has had a very busy morning, and she is embarrassed that her children are wearing a dirty shirt or their hair is messy.

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Try to be sympathetic. After you have considered your assumptions about the situation, you need to find a way to become sympathetic to the person you are judging. You should try to justify their behavior. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, you can defend a mother whose child is scandalous by saying to yourself, “Raising a child is not easy and sometimes, things don’t go as planned. When my kids leave the house with a dirty shirt (or when I leave the house with a dirty shirt), I know I’m going through a tough time.”

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Identify the strengths of others. Focusing on what you like or love about another person will help you avoid making hasty judgments and instead appreciate the person more. Try to think about the qualities you admire in people in your life to prevent yourself from criticizing them. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, you can remind yourself that your co-worker is kind and always listens when you speak. Or, you can remind yourself that your friend is very creative and always makes you laugh. You should focus on positive traits instead of negatives.

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Forget the things that you have done for others. If you feel like people are indebted to you, it will contribute to being harsher to them and make you feel resentful. Instead, you should try to forget about a time when you helped others and just think about what they did for you. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, you might feel resentful towards a friend because you lent him money but he still hasn’t returned the favor. Instead, you should try to focus on the good deed your friend has done for you.

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Find ways to clarify your goals. Sometimes people can’t achieve goals because they are too abstract, and ending judgmental and critical behavior is a pretty big goal. Perhaps it will be easier for you to deal with clear goals rather than grand goals. You should try to think about the specific aspect of criticizing and judging others that you want to change. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

For example, would you like to compliment others more often? Or are you looking for a way to give constructive criticism? You should make your goals as specific as possible to increase your chances of achieving them.

Become a helpful reviewer

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Wait a moment. You shouldn’t criticize others right after they’ve done something. If possible, praise them first and then give them a critique. This method will give you the opportunity to think about the best way to express your criticism and increase the chance that the other person will see it in a good way. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

You should also only comment when absolutely necessary. For example, if you want to critique someone who just finished his or her presentation, you should share your comment when there’s only a day or two left before that person has to give their next presentation.

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Include one criticism followed by two compliments. This method is also known as the “sandwich method” in presenting criticism. To use it, you’ll have to say one nice thing, then give a critique, and end with another nice comment. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say something like, “Your presentation was amazing! Sometimes it’s a little difficult for me to follow the content because the speaking speed is quite fast, but I think if you can slow down a bit during the upcoming presentation, there’s nothing like it!”

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Use sentences that begin with the subject “I” instead of “You”. Starting a criticism with the word “you” can send the message that you’re arguing and put the other person on the defensive. Instead of leading the sentence with the word “you”, you should try to use the word “I”. ^{[9] X Research Source}

For example, instead of saying, “You often interrupt when I’m talking,” you should change it to “I get annoyed when I’m interrupted while I’m speaking.”

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Ask for behavior change in the future. Another good way to criticize others is to present it as a future request. It’s not as serious as making a statement about something someone has just done or asking someone to change their behavior. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, instead of saying “You often throw socks on the floor!”, you could say something else like, “Can you please pick up your socks later and put them in the basket?”.

Steps

Develop less critical thinking

Become a helpful reviewer

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