How to Stop Feeling Empty

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This article was co-written by Catherine Boswell, PhD. Catherine Boswell is a psychologist and co-founder of Psynergy Psychpogical Associates, a private therapy facility in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups of patients, couples and families with trauma, relationship problems, and trauma. in life. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell teaches master’s degree students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.

There are 43 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

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Do you wake up in the morning and feel like there’s no reason to get up and face a new day? Emptiness is a feeling everyone experiences, and it’s not easy to avoid it. Feeling empty can be a sign of an underlying medical condition, such as depression, and you should seek help from a mental health professional if you feel empty all the time. However, there are a few things you can do to combat the occasional feeling of emptiness like journaling, trying new things, and making more friends. Continue reading below to learn more ways to stop feeling empty.

Table of Contents

Fill your life with love

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Spend time with people who love you. Maybe it’s your family or close friends. Spending time with people who truly understand and love you for who you are is an effective way to combat feelings of emptiness. Focus on building and strengthening your relationships with these people. You can derive meaning from the simple act of spending time with people who love you, who are always happy to be with you. Spending time with friends and family can also help reduce stress and give you a sense of belonging. ^{[1] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Cut down on your time with people who are harmful to you, even if they don’t do it on purpose. If you have to be with someone who hurts your self-esteem or makes you feel helpless, make sure your encounters with that person are limited.

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Make more friends or start a romantic relationship. The joy of meeting someone who is right for you and letting that relationship develop naturally is a powerful antidote to feelings of emptiness. A new friend or love interest can give you new experiences and show you that you are an interesting and lovable person. Suddenly you realize that the whole world seems to have more opportunities than you thought. Making friends can also help you get a better sense of your goals and a sense of belonging. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Sometimes it’s hard to meet and make friends with other people, especially once you’ve graduated. Joining a club, taking a new course, or spending time in a place you love are great ways to meet people.
Practice scheduling and agreeing to participate when you’re invited to do something. If you always feel like you don’t have enough time for new relationships, they will never grow.

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Adopt a pet. Research has shown that pets can make your life more fulfilling and meaningful. ^{[3] X Research Source} Pet owners are also less likely to experience depression and may also benefit from certain health benefits. ^{[4] X Research Source} Having an animal that depends on your care also makes your life more meaningful. Consider adopting an ownerless dog or cat to alleviate feelings of emptiness.

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Be kind to others. Random acts of kindness can help you feel more fulfilled because they draw your attention to other people. Look for different ways you can show your kindness to people. Your acts of kindness will make others feel good, and this will help you feel more fulfilled.

For example, you can compliment someone you don’t know like, “I like your dress! It’s beautiful”. Find different ways to show kindness in any situation. Even a simple smile and nod can brighten someone’s day and help you feel more fulfilled. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Understand why you feel empty

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Talk to a trusted friend about how empty you feel. Holding onto emotions can be harmful. Sometimes talking to someone about your feelings can help you feel better. Talk to someone who cares and knows you well, or at least someone you trust; that can make a big difference.

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Keep a journal to keep track of your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you better understand your feelings of emptiness and is also a great way to relieve stress. ^{[6] X Research Resources} To start journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to spend about 20 minutes a day writing. You can start by writing about your feelings or thoughts or use cues. Here are a few examples: ^{[7] X Trusted Source University of Rochester Medical Center Go to source}

When was the first time you felt empty? How long does it last? How long have you been feeling this way?
What emotions do you experience when you feel empty?
How often do you feel empty during certain times or in certain places? What do you notice in your surroundings when you feel most empty?
What thoughts do you have when you feel empty?

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Look for signs of depression. Symptoms of depression vary from person to person, but the most common signs include boredom, feeling empty or meaningless. ^{[8] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Going to the source} Depression can come in waves, you’ll feel normal for a while, then extremely sad for a few weeks or even months, or maybe it’s a fixed emotion. Depression is a fairly common illness, with 6.7% of adults in the United States suffering from major depression. The rate of women suffering from depression is 70%, much more than men. ^{[9] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to the source} If you think you are suffering from depression, know that you are not alone. Seek help from a doctor or mental health professional if you have some of the following symptoms of depression: ^{[10] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source}

Constantly feeling bored, anxious, or “empty”.
Feeling hopeless or pessimistic.
Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless.
Unusually irritable or irritable.
Changes in personality or behavior.
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy.
Tired
Change your sleeping habits
Weight change
Having thoughts of hurting yourself or others.
The pain does not show any signs of improvement with treatment.

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Think about if you have just experienced a loss. The pain of losing something is also a common cause of feelings of emptiness. While the grief of losing someone you love is most common, it can be any other loss, such as the loss of a pet, the loss of a job, the loss of health, children moving out or a family. some major life change. ^{[11] X Source of Research}^{[12] X Source of Research} Feelings of loss and heartbreak can trigger a wide range of emotions, including sadness, emptiness, and affect other areas of your life. life such as appetite, concentration and habits. ^{[13] X Trusted Source National Cancer Institute Go to the source} If you are going through a loss or change that can cause feelings of grief and emptiness, consider sharing it with someone you know. you trust, such as a friend or lover. ^{[14] X Research Resources} Scheduling an appointment with a grief counselor can also help. ^{[15] X Research Source}

There are many people who believe that grief has “five stages”, however this is a misconception. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s “five stages” – denial, anger, negotiation, sadness, and acceptance – are addressed in her 1969 study of death and pre-death. However, Kübler-Ross uses these stages to describe a person’s feelings before their death; they are not the same process for all kinds of sadness. ^{[16] X Research Source} You’ll probably go through all, some, or none of them, and that’s completely normal – sadness is yours, everyone has their own way of pain different sadness. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Determine if your routine has something to do with this. Stimulant use is also one of the common causes of feelings of emptiness. Stimulants such as alcohol, drugs, and prescription drug abuse can cause physical dependence. This can seriously affect your mood, thoughts and behavior. ^{[18] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source} Often, people use these substances because they feel there is a “hole” in their lives that these substances can fill. ^{[19] X Research Sources} If you think you have a problem with substance use, know you’re not alone: In 2012, approximately 7.2% of the U.S. population was diagnosed with the disorder. alcohol use disorder (AUD). ^{[20] X Sources of Research} There are many people with substance use disorders, including marijuana, stimulants such as cocaine or methamphetamine, hallucinogens such as LSD, and other psychoactive substances. opioids such as heroin. ^{[21] X Trusted Source Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Go to the source} If you are concerned that you may have a problem, ask yourself the following questions: During the past year, have you:

Have you ever been in a situation that caused you to use more stimulants than you expected?
Tried to cut down on substance use but failed?
spend a lot of time using drugs?
Ever wanted to use drugs?
have to use more drugs to have the same effect as the first time you used them?
Experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as trouble sleeping, tremors, irritability, depression, anxiety, restlessness or sweating?
Disruption to daily life or responsibilities due to medication?
continue to use drugs even if it causes trouble for your family or friends?
Stop engaging in things you used to enjoy to use drugs?
Using drugs in dangerous situations such as driving or operating machinery?
Addiction is highly hereditary. For example, relatives of people with alcohol abuse problems are more likely to develop addiction, regardless of whether they know each other or not. ^{[22] X Research Source}
If you are dealing with drug and/or alcohol dependence, talk to your doctor about it. You may need to detox to stop feeling empty. ^{[23] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source}

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Examine your own behavior to see if you have borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with BPD often feel empty. They often have unstable emotions and behaviors, which can cause them to feel depressed or have impaired social interaction. People with BPD have problems controlling their thoughts and emotions. They often tend to act thoughtlessly and have difficulty controlling their impulses. Their relationships with those around them are also often unstable. ^{[24] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to Source} About 1.6% of adults in the United States are diagnosed with BPD each year. ^{[25] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to the source} BPD can be effectively treated with the guidance of a doctor. ^{[26] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source} If you have one or more of the following symptoms, consult a mental health professional:

You try your best not to be left out, what actually happened or just imagined. You often believe that you will be abandoned or separated from the people you love. You react in a negative way, like becoming extremely angry or scared, even if the separation is temporary (like your spouse is on a business trip). You are terrified of being alone.
You stop picturing the people you love and then thinking they are cruel. People with BPD often begin a relationship by worshiping the other person, seeing them as perfect or ideal. Then you start to think that the other person doesn’t care enough about you or put a lot of effort into the relationship. Your relationships will often be unstable.
You have an unstable perception of your own body. People with BPD often have difficulty maintaining a sense of identity and self-image.
You are extremely reckless or impulsive. This is especially true in the case of self-injury. You can do risky things like drive after drinking, gambling, abusing drugs, or engaging in risky sex.
You have frequent thoughts of hurting yourself and threatening suicide. You can injure yourself by cutting, scratching, or burning your skin. Or you may threaten to harm yourself to get other people’s attention.
Your mood often fluctuates. These moods change frequently and are extremely severe, like feeling happy and then feeling hopeless.
You often feel empty. Maybe you often feel empty or bored or as if you need something to do.
You have problems controlling your anger. There are many things that make you feel angry and you react extremely violently such as being harsh, sarcastic or using bad words. You will feel especially angry if you think that someone is not interested in you.
At times, you have paranoid thoughts about other people, or feel as if your surroundings are not “real”.

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Purify your mind to understand your empty feelings. Meditation can help you access your feelings of emptiness and begin to understand them better. Research has shown that meditating for 30 minutes a day can help change behavior and brain activity. ^{[27] X Research Source} To start meditating, sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Use the following questions to increase your understanding of your sense of emptiness through meditation.

Pay attention to your feelings in the present moment. Do you feel empty or lacking, like a lack of value, insight, understanding, or a lack of peace or love? Accept those empty feelings.
Notice how you experience that empty feeling. Where in your body do you feel empty? How much space does it take up?
Consider your own feelings of emptiness. Does it bring back memories of the past? What emotions are present when you notice your sense of emptiness?

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Seek help from a mental health professional. Talking to a therapist about how you’re feeling can help you understand and overcome feelings of emptiness. Feeling empty can indicate that you are depressed or have another underlying mental illness. Especially if you have symptoms of depression, substance use disorder or BPD, you should seek help from a mental health professional.

Typically, there are two treatments for depression: psychotherapy and prescription medications such as SSRIs (Prozac, Zpoft, Lexapro) or SNRIs (Effexor, Cymbalta) if needed. Both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) are effective in treating depression. CBT therapy teaches you how to identify and minimize negative thoughts, and learn how to think productively and productively. IPT therapy focuses on helping you get over relationships that might be causing you trouble. ^{[28] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source}
Although complex grief emotional therapy is the most effective method for people struggling with long-term grief, some psychotherapy can also be helpful in helping you to cope. through sadness. ^{[29] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Treatment for an alcohol or substance use disorder usually focuses on individual or group counseling, but may also include the use of medication if needed. CBT is commonly used to treat alcohol use disorders. ^{[30] X Trusted Source Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Go to source}
The treatment for BPD is psychotherapy using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT focuses on learning how to identify and manage your emotions, relieve stress, apply mindfulness, and interact with others in a healthy and beneficial way. ^{[31] X Research Source Linehan, MM (1993). A guide to practicing skills to treat borderline personality disorder. New York; Guilford Press.} You will learn different ways to deal with your emotions as well as the social skills to interact with others.

Find meaning in everyday life

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Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the present moment without making judgments. ^{[32] X Research Source Research} has shown great benefits of mindfulness, including reducing stress and anxiety. ^{[33] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go To Source}^{[34] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go To Source} Even mindfulness can change the brain’s response to stressors straight and helps you feel more connected to people. ^{[35] X Research Resources} Learning to be more aware of your own thoughts and feelings and to accept them without judgment can help you feel more relaxed, empathetic, and content. You can practice mindfulness at home, through meditation, or take a guided course. Here’s an exercise that can help you get started: ^{[36] X Research Sources}

Look, name, and touch 5 different objects, noting the color, texture, temperature, and weight of each.
Look, taste, and smell food at dinner or smell flowers while walking, noting their color, texture, flavor, and aroma.
Close your eyes and listen to different sounds. Pay attention to their rhythm, pitch, and volume.
Mindfulness meditation has also been shown to be extremely helpful. The Center for Mindfulness Studies at UCLA offers several online meditation methods in MP3 format. ^{[37] X Research Source}

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Do something new. If you feel empty every day, you are probably stuck. What daily tasks and routines make you feel tired? Find ways to add new energies to your life. Changing up your daily routine or even taking 30 minutes a day to try something new can help fill your empty feeling. ^{[38] X Research Sources}

For example, if waking up and going to school or work every day is what makes you tired, find ways to make things more enjoyable. Start a new afterschool activity to get yourself excited about going to school or volunteering on a new project at work.
Try doing something out of your comfort zone. Achieving achievement in a new field will give you something fun to think about and help you build confidence.
Even small changes can make a big difference. Try something new from a cookbook, ride your bike to work instead of driving, or start doing yoga in the morning before school.
Changing personal environments can also help. Change the curtains to a brighter color in the bedroom, repaint the walls, clean up the clutter and hang some interesting pictures,

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Pursue goals and interests that are important to you. To feel fulfilled, you should work towards goals and interests that you value. Don’t let others control the goals or interests you choose to pursue. If the goals and interests you’re pursuing aren’t what you want, you may need to reframe things to make sure you’re on the path you want. ^{[39] X Research Sources}

If you are in school, consider whether the major you are studying is something you want to study or something your parents want you to study.
Other external pressures can also negatively influence the decisions we make. Determine if you are doing what you really want, or are you working to impress others.
If you know you are being forced or someone is preventing you from directing your own life, take steps to change your current situation. When you have control over everything, you may find that empty feelings are slowly disappearing.

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Find meaning in everyday life. When life gradually becomes tiring and boring, it is extremely helpful to take the time to find the good, meaningful things in the little things every day. What makes you feel energized and happy? When you find something that gives you extra energy, make it a permanent part of your life. Here are a few ideas for making life more meaningful:

Practice gratitude. Take a few minutes each day to think about what you are grateful for and why it can make your life more meaningful. ^{[40] X Research Source} You can say or write to feel more grateful. For example, “I’m so grateful that it’s sunny today!” or “Thank you life for giving me a family that cares about me; they make me feel so special”.
Don’t hold back from eating your favorite foods. If you like chocolate, eat some! You don’t have to overdo it, but allow yourself a little joy every day.
Get out and get some fresh air. Research has shown that spending time outdoors helps people feel more alive and energetic. ^{[41] X Research Source} Every day, spend some time outdoors, rain or shine. Focus on breathing fresh air and observing the natural world more deeply.
Take the time to make your world richer and more pleasant. Turn seemingly mundane activities into positive ones. Sit down, read the newspaper while sipping some morning tea or coffee instead of rushing out the door. Soak in a hot tub on the weekend instead of a shower.
Keep the indoor environment comfortable and pleasant. Fold clothes neatly before putting them away. Wash the dishes before going to bed. Make your bed tidy in the morning. Make the house more airy by opening the windows and letting the sun and wind outside. Don’t neglect cleaning. You may feel like you don’t have time for that, or it doesn’t matter at all, but when your house is clean and fresh, it’s easier to cope with a dull life. .

Define Your Principles

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Define your own principles. Reminding yourself of what you value in life and in yourself can help you feel fulfilled instead of empty. Our principles, or core beliefs about life, are often based on the things we experience, but we may not always take the time to test them. To find your own principles, you need to take the time to think about them. Define your own principles by writing down answers to the following questions: ^{[43] X Sources of research}

Identify the two people you admire most. What qualities of them make you admire them and why?
If your house was on fire and you could only save 3 things, what would you choose and why?
What topic or event ignites your enthusiasm? What about these topics is important to you? Why?
Identify a moment when you feel fulfilled and contented. What in that moment made you feel that way? Why?

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Determine what fits your guidelines. Once you’ve answered the questions above, try to figure out what fits your principles. In other words, read your answers and determine which ones fit your principles best. ^{[44] X Research Source}

For example, if you choose to bring your favorite book, heirloom, and a gift your best friend gave you, this could mean that you value knowledge, loyalty, and friendship. So some of your qualities could be intelligence, loyalty and being a good friend.

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Think of activities that allow you to follow your own principles. Once you’ve identified what you value most and your personal qualities, you can begin to identify activities that can make you feel fulfilled. Make a list of these activities and choose at least one of them to add to your life. ^{[45] X Research Sources}

For example, if you value “Community,” you could volunteer to be a custodian of the neighborhood, tutor at a school, or work at a charity kitchen. If you value “Faith,” you can find a few ways to incorporate it into some area of your life, like taking a mission trip or visiting a church, temple, or other place of worship. more often.
By living “by your own principles” (meaning that the decisions you make and your life align with your own principles), you will feel more fulfilled and happy. ^{[46] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}^{[47] X Research Source}

Advice

Fill your life with love and smiles. Always be with your family if you have a happy and joyful family. If not, find friends who support and trust you.
Participate in an activity. Having no passions, hobbies, and nothing to do will leave you depressed and can lead to an endless cycle of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy and boredom.
Try a new hobby. Something completely new. Something that isn’t really that great or interesting though. Make it a habit.

Warning

Don’t try to hide your severe depression by participating in many activities or making countless friends. Talk about your feelings with family and friends. If you don’t feel better, seek professional help.

Steps