How to Stay Calm

Most of us have the ability to become calmer than we are right now. People who are calm are generally happier and will help calm others down. Perhaps you are grateful to someone who has been able to stay calm when you were in a crisis. There are many methods to help you become a calm person, from meditation to sleeping more. Try them out!

Table of Contents

Keep calm in front of you

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Pause and refocus your senses. When you’re stressed, angry, or anxious, they trigger the body’s “fight or flight” mode. The sympathetic nervous system senses that you’re under attack and forces your body to go into overdrive, increasing your heart rate, constricting blood vessels, making it hard to breathe, and tensing your muscles. ^{[1] X Source of Research} When you notice these symptoms, you should stop whatever you are doing (if this can be done safely) and refocus your senses on the experience of your body . This measure will help reduce what scientists call “automatic response”. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Your brain develops an “automatic response” framework to trigger a stressor. They are basically brain-activated habits. Every time it encounters a specific stimulus, like fighting with another person, it activates a number of distinct pathways.
Studies show that breaking the “habit” of your response by refocusing your senses on what’s really going on helps your brain develop new, healthier, habitual responses. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Pay attention to how your body feels, but don’t judge them as “good” or “bad”. You should try to stick to the real event. For example, if you are angry, your heart rate will increase and you may even feel nauseous. You just need to acknowledge these feelings. ^{[4] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source} Example: “I’m feeling nauseous right now. I’m breathing fast. My face is hot and red.” By identifying physical experiences, you can separate them from emotional responses.

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Breathe through the diaphragm. When you’re stressed or anxious, you’ll breathe quickly and shallowly. Deep breathing from your diaphragm will help you combat the stress response by signaling your brain to release neurotransmitters, restoring oxygen to the body. ^{[5] X Sources of Bourne Research , EJ (2010). Handbook of Anxiety and Phobias (5th ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publishers, Inc.} Deep breathing will help you feel calmer almost immediately.

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach, below your ribcage. As you inhale, the hand on your stomach should be raised. Otherwise, you’re just breathing from your chest. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Slowly inhale the air through your nose. You should try to inhale for 5 counts. Focus on the area of the lungs and abdomen that are expanding and filling with air. ^{[7] X Research Sources}
Hold your breath for a few seconds. Ideally, you should hold your breath for 5 counts, but if you can’t do this right away, you should try to hold your breath for at least 1-2 seconds.
Slowly exhale through your mouth for 5 counts. Try to exhale slowly, rather than quickly.
Breathe normally 2 times, then repeat the cycle.

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Try dynamic relaxation, muscle tension and relaxation. Dynamic Relaxation, Tension – Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, will help you consciously release the muscle tension that builds up in your body when you’re stressed or angry. With PMR, you’ll stretch and then relax each muscle group from head to toe, signaling your body to relax. It will take a bit of practice, but once you get used to it, this is the quickest way to calm down. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

If possible, find a quiet place with no distractions. You can even do PMR at your desk if needed.
Loosen tight clothing. Breathe for a few breaths.
Start with the muscles in the forehead. Raise your eyebrows as high as possible and hold the position for 5 seconds. Relax. Then, frown as much as you can for 5 seconds. Relax.
After releasing the first muscle group, feel the difference in that area for 15 seconds before continuing. You have to learn how to feel “relaxed” and “tense” so that you can consciously let go of stress whenever you need it.
Go to the lips. Squeeze your lips together for 5 seconds, then release. Next, smile as widely as possible for 5 seconds, and relax. Enjoy the feeling it gives for 15 seconds.
Continue stretching for 5 seconds, release, and relax for 15 seconds for the rest of the muscle groups: neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, buttocks, thighs, shins, feet, and toes .
You can also search for PMR instructions on online resources. ^{[9] X Research Source}

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Distract yourself. Sometimes, you need to break the cycle of focusing on what’s bothering you. Chewing over and over again, constantly “babbling” about unpleasant thoughts will make the situation worse or even make you anxious and depressed. ^{[10] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Going to the Source} Distraction is not a long-term solution, but it is very helpful in reducing immediate stress and helping you focus on something more positive. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Chat with a friend. Research has shown that communicating with someone you love helps reduce stress. You should spend time with friends or loved ones. ^{[12] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}
See silly things. “Stupid” humor, like a funny cat movie or a funny movie, will help you calm down and get away from what’s been bothering you for a moment. However, you should try to stay away from bad humor or sarcasm, because in fact, they will make you more uncomfortable, not better. ^{[13] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}
Play game. Games are a great element to help our brains have time to rest.
Play with pets. Many studies have shown that interacting with a cat or dog you love reduces stress hormones and helps you feel calmer and happier. ^{[14] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
There are countless ways to distract yourself. You can read a good book, go for a walk, grab your camera and take some nice pictures.
Don’t use alcohol, drugs, or even food to distract yourself. Trying to self-medicate by getting drunk or overeating will only make the problem worse, and won’t help you address the root of your frustration. ^{[15] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Do exercise. When you’re upset, a little moderate-intensity exercise will help you feel better quickly. Exercise releases endorphins in the body, and they are natural mood enhancers. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source} Many studies have shown that exercise reduces feelings of anger and increases feelings of calmness and well-being. ^{[17] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}^{[18] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}^{[19] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source} Next time you’re upset, you Go for a short jog or indulge in your favorite dance. You will feel better.

You should try to spend 30 minutes of moderate intensity exercise every day. You don’t have to go to the gym: walking, jogging, even gardening can do wonders for your mood and fitness.
Exercise also has a preventive effect. One study has shown that doing aerobic exercise before a distressing experience helps you stay calm during it. ^{[20] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Sports exercises like yoga and tai chi, exercises that incorporate meditation, deep breathing, and physical movement, are also wonderfully calming. ^{[21] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}^{[22] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Try aromatherapy. Aromatherapy will help calm you down. ^{[23] X Source of Research} You should add a few drops of essential oils or effervescent bath tablets to a hot bath.

You can use scents of sandalwood, lavender, or German chamomile to reduce stress.
Do not eat essential oils. Many essential oils are very toxic if you consume them.
You can do a massage or massage your feet with them.
Always remember to use a carrier oil, like jojoba, avocado, or sunflower oil, as essential oils are very concentrated and can irritate skin if you use them alone.

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Listening to music. Music has a calming effect on the way we think. If you are having trouble staying calm, you should listen to soothing music. Stay away from loud, fast-paced music, even if you love it, as it will add to your stress! You should only listen to soothing music when you are trying to calm down.

The British Academy of Sound Therapy has compiled a list of the most relaxing music in the world according to science. Artists include Marconi Union, Enya, and Cpdplay.

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Change the conversation. Occasionally, other people want to chat with you on topics on which you simply disagree. If you can form a useful conversation that would be great! But if the story seems to be falling into a confrontational monologue, you should redirect it to something less unpleasant. ^{[24] X Research Source}

Stay away from controversial topics like religion and politics, especially about someone you don’t know well.
Cutting through the unpleasant story can be quite difficult, but the relief it brings will be well worth it. You should say something polite like, “You know, I think we just have to agree or disagree on this topic. What do you think if we move on to yesterday’s episode of Game of Thrones ?”
If the other person doesn’t back down, you should back out of the conversation. You can use statements that start with the subject “I” to avoid sounding like you’re blaming the person: “You know, I’m feeling pretty confused right now. I want to stop talking for a while.”

Promote calmness through lifestyle

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Get enough sleep. When you’re not getting enough sleep or your sleep cycle is disrupted, you’re prone to stress (especially if you’re inherently anxious). ^{[25] X Source of Research} Sleep allows your muscles and brain to relax and regenerate so you can start your day with less anxiety-provoking “base”. ^{[26] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}^{[27] X Research Sources} Even minor disturbances in sleep can have a dramatic effect on your memory, judgment, and mood. ^{[28] X Research Source} Getting enough sleep will help you stay calm during the day.

Adults should sleep 7-9 hours a night. Teenagers will need to sleep more hours. ^{[29] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}
People who don’t get enough sleep experience stress symptoms, such as irritability, anger, or confusion, more than people who get enough sleep. ^{[30] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}
You should try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends. This measure will help the body regulate sleep. ^{[31] X Research Source}
Avoid napping after 5 p.m., eating too much dinner, taking stimulants in the evening, and exposure to blue light screens before bed. They will interfere with your ability to get a good night’s sleep.

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Limit caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine. Caffeine is a stimulant that will make you feel more alert and energetic, but at the same time, it also increases the body’s stress response. ^{[32] X Research Source} If you must use caffeine, you should consume no more than 200 mg per day (about 2 cups of brewed coffee). Caffeine should not be consumed after 5 p.m. to avoid interfering with the sleep cycle. ^{[33] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Stimulants will also disrupt your sleep cycle. ^{[34] X Research Source}
Alcohol is a depressant, which means it reduces stress in the body. However, using alcohol to treat stress is a bad idea, because once alcohol has been completely eliminated from your body, your anxiety will return (and alcohol will not solve the problem). the root of the problem). ^{[35] X Research Source} It may make it easier to fall asleep, but it will seriously disrupt your REM sleep, leaving you tired and exhausted the next day. ^{[36] X Research Source}
If you drink alcohol, you should only drink in moderation. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Addiction of America (NIAAA) has advised that you should have no more than 4 drinks per day if you are male, and no more than 14 drinks per week. If you are female, you should have no more than 3 drinks per day and no more than 7 drinks per week. ^{[37] X Research Source}
A “standard glass of wine” may be less than you think. The NIAAA has determined the dosage of 1 glass of wine to mean: approximately 354 ml of regular beer, approximately 236 – 266 ml of malt liquor, about 147 ml of wine, or approximately 44 ml of 40% alcohol. ^{[38] X Research Source}
Nicotine is also a powerful stimulant that will increase the body’s stress response. Smoking is not good for your health, and the more you smoke, the more serious damage you do. However, you should be careful, because the process of smoking cessation itself is quite stressful, so quitting during a period of high stress will not be the best idea.

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Stay away from negativity when possible. Being exposed to negativity on a regular basis encourages the brain to form negative thinking habits. It won’t help with building the calm mindset you’re trying to cultivate! ^{[39] X Research Sources}^{[40] X Research Sources}

Sometimes people need to vent. This is completely healthy. However, you should make sure that the whining doesn’t last too long. Even 30 minutes of confronting a stressful experience, like listening to someone else’s complaint, can increase your stress hormones. ^{[41] X Research Source}
If you’re in a situation where you can’t stay away from negativity, like at work, you should try to establish a “safe place” for yourself in your mind. Retreat to that place when the pressure is getting too great. ^{[42] X Research Source}

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Avoid stress when possible. Of course, you can’t avoid all the stress in your life. Experiencing stressful and unhappy events is part of being human. However, you can reduce them through a few changes. If you can reduce the stress in your life even in small ways, you will be better able to deal with another upset factor that you cannot avoid. ^{[43] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

Try to “be smarter” about what’s bothering you. For example, if having to wait in long lines at the supermarket after work is frustrating, you should try again in the evening. If rush hour makes your blood boil, you should try to go a little earlier.
Looking for the good side. When you tailor your experiences to get something positive out of them, you’ll be able to increase your ability to cope with stress. For example, if your car breaks down and you have to rush to catch the bus to school, consider this: you have the opportunity to exercise and have a story to tell. This isn’t the best thing, but it’s still better than focusing on the upset that the event brings you. ^{[44] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

Changing attitudes

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Identify your own strength. It can be difficult to feel calm and in control if you don’t know your own strength. You should take a moment to examine yourself and discover what makes you unique. Remind yourself of your abilities. Journaling is a great way to discover something positive about yourself. Here are a few questions to get you started: ^{[59] X Research Sources}

What makes you feel like you’re a strong person?
When you feel confident or strong, what emotions do you feel?
What quality defines your strength? They can be “compassion” or “family” or “ambitious” – whatever you think they communicate to you. You should take a few minutes to consider each factor one by one. Which point do you like the most?
You can also write down a positive statement for yourself every day. For example, remind yourself of everything you’ve done during the day, or tell yourself something you love or respect about yourself. ^{[60] X Research Source}

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Use self-affirmations. Once you’ve identified a few positive attributes, you should remind yourself of them! It can be hard to say these things to yourself at first, but remember: how often do you tell your loved one how wonderful they are? Why don’t you do the same for yourself? You can try the following to help improve self-confidence and increase calm: ^{[61] X Research Source Jongsma, AJ, Bruce, TJ, & Peterson, LM (2006). Comprehensive plan of psychotherapeutic treatment for adults. Hoboken, NJ : John Wiley & Sons, Inc.}

Say the affirmation aloud to yourself in front of a mirror. Look into your eyes and repeat something positive to yourself, like “I am such a wonderful friend and loving person” or “I love how my smile brightens my face. up when I’m happy.”
If you have thoughts that are not kind to yourself, you should turn them into self-affirmations by correcting them. For example, you might picture yourself catching yourself thinking, “I’m so stressed out, I’ll never be able to solve this!”
Adjust it to a positive statement: “I’m stressed right now, and I’m learning something new every day to make myself stronger.”

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Be kind to yourself . Being calm starts with loving yourself (and this is completely different from being selfish). We often sound negative to ourselves and become our harshest critics. This is because we pursue unrealistic expectations, or because we forget to show the same compassion to ourselves as we do to everyone else. ^{[62] X Research Source} You won’t be able to calm down when you don’t feel anything other than self-criticism, self-hatred, and lack of confidence in yourself. Take time to stop your inner self-criticism and remind yourself that you deserve love, self-esteem, and understanding – from yourself and from those around you.

Talk softly to yourself. When negative self-talk begins, challenge it with a positive thought or statement.
For example, if you find yourself worrying and telling yourself you can’t cope with the situation, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this thinking kind to yourself? If not, you should change it to a kinder mindset: “I’m nervous right now, but I can deal with this.”
- Does this mindset make me feel capable and confident? If not, focus on your strengths and abilities: “I’m afraid I don’t know enough to do this, but I’m a smart person and learn pretty quickly.”
- Would I say this to my anxious friend? If not, why are you telling yourself these things?
You need to remember that everyone makes mistakes. It’s easy to want yourself to pursue a standard of perfection that you wouldn’t expect from your loved one. You should remind yourself of your normal human nature. Acknowledge the mistake, then focus on fixing it and acting differently in the future. This method will help you focus on positive growth, rather than tormenting yourself about the past.
Know your worth. Remind yourself every day of the goodness, strength, and beauty you bring to the world. If you have trouble thinking positively, you should ask a friend for help.

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Learn to forgive yourself and others. Not being able to forgive yourself will immerse you in dissatisfaction and inner battle. Holding on to old grudges, becoming bitter, and constantly provoking anger will create chaos in your soul that makes you constantly reminisce about past pain. Do you really love living with that iron ball and chain around you? Worse, your health will be affected by long-term grievances, in addition, your blood pressure, heart rate, physical and mental health will also suffer the consequences. ^{[63] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

You should remember that when you forgive, you remove the toxic feeling from your life; This doesn’t mean you condone someone’s actions, but it does allow their behavior to dictate your outlook on life.
When you feel angry at someone who has caused you pain, you should stop and think. Breathe slowly for one second. Does anger make your life better? Does the hate you feel bring you happiness? Would those who love you want you to suffer like this? The answer to all of the above questions is “no”… so let go of the negative feelings and look for the positive instead.

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Patient. Patience is the key to calmness. Impatience is a source of agitation and instability. Impatience will say “I want it NOW” and when “it” doesn’t come up right away, you lose your temper and allow your blood pressure to soar. Impatience is often associated with unreasonable expectations of the world and of people (you expect too much of yourself and others), and is often associated with perfectionism, which means not allowing make mistakes or slow down. In contrast, the perfectly calm person knows that sometimes, mistakes can happen and that speeding up work will increase mistakes, not reduce them. ^{[64] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

If you find yourself wanting to do something in a hurry, you should stop and assess the situation. Are other people’s lives at risk if you don’t get what you need right away? Otherwise, stressing the situation will only make your life worse and even impair your judgment.
If you’re still having trouble becoming patient, maybe you just need to practice more. You should start by being patient with the little things, like waiting in line at the supermarket. Distract yourself by reading every magazine title at the counter. Slowly work your way up to the more difficult areas of your life, like getting angry with another driver while driving on the road or when dealing with kids.

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Think about everything before you start worrying. Usually, you probably won’t need to worry at all. Most of the news, rumors, negativity, upheaval, human frenzy at highs and lows are just noises. Listening to them too much will get you stuck in a vicious circle, not going anywhere without a clear map ahead. This leads to extreme anxiety and discomfort in life. Wise people know what to read, who to listen to, and when to ignore gossip (most of the time). Wise people are calm because they have access to their knowledge and know how to use it to improve their lives.

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Slow down life. Many people try to push, push, and push towards the exit even when the door is open (literally and figuratively). Consider the moment when the plane lands and everyone rushes out of their seats but all they can do is stand in line and wait. You have to know when you need to hurry and when you can slow down. You will find that in almost any situation you can slow down.

Slowing down will allow you to do the work more thoroughly so you can get it right and do it well the first time. This will help you avoid more stress in the future.

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Stop procrastinating. Procrastination is one of the biggest sources of stress in life. If you can learn to get things done early or at least on time, you will become calmer. Of course, this means staying focused when you need to get the task done and not distracted!

One way many people waste their time during the day is by checking their email. You should set aside a specific time to check your email, just do it 2 or 3 times a day, and don’t check your email between these times.

Advice

You should think more openly. Closed thinking, calculation is the root of ignorance. People won’t be able to change anything if all ideas are rigid – remember people used to believe that the earth was a flat shape.
If you feel angry or upset, just count to 10 and take a deep breath. Next, make yourself a cooling herbal tea or a cool glass of water, then find another place to sit still and allow your imagination to take control.
Do what you love.
If you are in a stressful situation and feel that you need to stay calm, simply turn your back on the issue or take 10 seconds to take a deep breath and allow all your thoughts to sink in, before you can regret anything.

Warning

If you are so stressed that it affects your health, personal or professional life, you should consider seeking professional help from a mental health care provider. A counselor or therapist will help you identify unhelpful thinking patterns and learn coping skills.

Steps

Keep calm in front of you

Promote calmness through lifestyle

Changing attitudes

Advice

Warning

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