How to start texting with strangers

Do you feel nervous about actively texting strangers online? Perhaps this is not your only concern.

As you stare at your phone’s keypad to think of what to text, remember that you can do better than you think. Most of the people you meet in your life were once strangers! However, sometimes you will find it difficult to maintain a small conversation and move forward.

For that, this article is a guide to help you build more interesting and meaningful connections. Check out these 10 simple ways to start a conversation to have fun and natural conversations with strangers.

Table of Contents

Introduce yourself and recall the previous meeting.

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You probably don’t want them to see your first message as spam. This is a step worth noting when you get their phone number through someone else, as your contact information will show up as an unknown number. Write a short message, or if you’ve met, don’t forget to mention the location. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If the two of you have never spoken to each other, clearly state who gave you their phone number: “Hi, I’m Nam at Econ 240. Thanh gave me your phone number.”
If you’ve met them, mention where you two met: “Hi, I’m Lan met you at Son’s party!”
“Hi, I’m Hoa, I met you at the restaurant on Friday. Even though we just met at the noodle shop, I’ll be back tonight.”

Text funny content to shorten the distance.

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Show your sense of humor and keep the conversation going. Sending something a little silly can help you feel more comfortable. Choose a funny quiz or joke to give your partner a chance to respond.

“How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” Give them a chance to reply before you send the next text “You just open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the fridge”.
“Where do dragons fly and land in Vietnam?” The answer is “Dragon flies in Thang Long and lands in Ha Long!”. ^{[2] X Research Source}
“Do you know what the widest pants are?” Next you can text “It’s an archipelago”. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Send me a photo or GIF animation.

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Find a meme or GIF that relates to something the two of you once said. Here’s how to keep the conversation relaxed and funny. For total strangers, choose a meme related to the interest they mentioned on a social media site or message board. If you’ve met the person but aren’t close, choose to mention where you met. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

If you don’t know their interests, you can send me a meme related to a popular internet phenomenon or a celebrity they might recognize.
Avoid sending memes with vulgar language and obscene content that may mislead them.

Ask them for comments or suggestions.

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Asking the other person’s opinion helps you understand them better. In addition, the exchange of ideas gives you the opportunity to find common ground between the two of you. It’s been scientifically proven that asking questions makes you look friendlier. ^{[5] X Research Source} You can choose any topic, as long as it’s not too difficult. Avoid complicated conversations so the person doesn’t feel questioned or forced to say “big things”. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

“What movie have you watched recently? Yes or no?”
“Which restaurant has a good lunch?”
“What do you think about plant milk and animal milk?”
“How do you feel about work/study/life here?”

See if they’re up for some interesting plans.

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This is a great way to keep a positive conversation going. By asking what they’re looking for, you’ll also learn more about their preferences. Another plus is that it will be easier for you to ask more about upcoming plans and events. Furthermore, they may also ask about your plans. Try these suggestions: ^{[7] X Research Sources}

“What are you going to do for the upcoming holiday?”
“Next time you go to the downtown area, which restaurant would you like to try?”
“What are you going to do this weekend?”
Ask a few more questions about their plans, such as “Are you going home for the holidays? Where’s my hometown?”

Mention something they like.

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Choose one of the interests you’ve heard about or seen on their profile. People love to talk about themselves and what they like, so this is a safe and simple approach. In fact, when we talk about ourselves, the reward system in the brain is activated! ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Referring to a common phenomenon they are interested in: “Which house in Hogwarts do you like?”
Ask about their favorite things: “What kind of music do you like?” or “Which football player do you like?”
Mention something you see on their profile: “I saw you took a picture with the Corgi. Have you been to the Corgi Con festival yet?”

Talk about what the two of you have in common.

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Talk about common interests and backgrounds. You can start with obvious things in common such as hometown, school, and workplace. Or, you can mention something small in common (such as the style of jacket you’re wearing and the style of jacket in their profile picture). ^{[9] X Research Source}

Build connections through the little things: “The warm shirt you’re wearing in your profile picture looks great. Do you also like warm coats with hoods?”
Mention a shared experience or event that you two had: “Oh, my brother joined that team two years before you.”
Mention the general context: “I am also from another province! I moved here when I was a kid.”
Talk about common interests: “So we all like rock music?”

Give them a special compliment.

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You need to show sincerity and positivity in the conversation. Instead of just making general comments about their looks or outfits, you’ll think of something that’s unique to them. ^{[10] X Research Source} Think of a trait that others don’t notice. Appreciate their actions. Or, add a personal connection by talking about something else that reminds you of something else. Receiving a compliment makes the brain as excited as receiving money! ^{[11] X Research Source}

Give a compliment about your appearance: “I like the earrings you wear in your profile picture. They remind me of the special earrings my mother gave me.”
Compliment one of their actions: “I really appreciate you speaking up for Nam in today’s meeting.”
Compliment a unique trait or quality: “I’ve never seen anyone handle so many orders at once. You are really cool.”

Ask for information about upcoming events.

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Have them answer your questions. If they know the information you need, they will respond; If not, the two of you can guess the information together. ^{[12] X Research Source}

“Let’s see if you know information about Minh’s party. Like where is it held haha?”
“Do you know what we have to bring for the conference tomorrow?”
“Looks like you really enjoy music festivals. He plans to go to the music festival being held next week. Do you have any “secrets” to get the best experience?”
“Your hometown is in Da Nang? I’ll be there in two weeks. Do you have any advice for “fuzzy chicken” tourists like me?”
“Do you remember what Mr. Son told you to review for the midterm exam? I didn’t pay much attention at that time haha”
If they say they don’t know, you can say, “So we’re the same. Guess what we’re going to do?”

Mention a non-controversial incident that just happened.

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Build connections over positive news or interesting trends. ^{[13] X Research Sources} When asking questions related to an ongoing event, you should not focus on extracting information. Instead, ask them how they feel about the event so they can feel free to share. That means asking questions like “What do you think about this?” ^{[14] X Sources of Research} Here are a few suggestions to help you ask questions related to your partner’s feelings about certain events:

“Did you watch the ball game tonight?” If they answered “yes,” you would ask, “How are you feeling right now?”
“Did you watch the Olympic Games?” and the next question is “Which event do you like?”
“How did you feel about the last music festival?”, then asked, “What do you think when you stand near the stage?”
It’s okay if they’re not interested in questions about the event. Just change the subject and use a different opening sentence.

Ask open-ended questions that help you learn more about them.

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After chatting for a while, you’ll stop chatting and move on to a deeper topic. People often want to connect with others, and they won’t be as afraid to talk about their lives as you think. The advantage of asking open-ended questions is that the other party has the opportunity to share more information and move the conversation in a direction they like. Research shows that asking questions makes the other person like you and leaves a positive impression. ^{[15] X Research Source} You can try the following questions: ^{[16] X Research Source}

“Is there anything about yourself that you would never want to change?” ^{[17] X Research Source}
“Your name sounds great. Do you know why your parents chose this name for you?”
“How long have you lived in this city? Do you still remember the feeling when you first set foot here?”
“Do you have any memorable childhood memories?”

Steps