How to Start an Online Chat

You are trying to get to know someone. Email, dating sites, and messaging services can make communicating with friends and family more convenient, but it’s hard to get to know someone new when you’re not talking face-to-face. More and more people are meeting their friends, partners and spouses online, and this is something that confuses everyone! Be curious, but not pushy; Relax, and try to be yourself.

Table of Contents

Start a conversation

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Stop thinking too much. If you’re trying to get to know someone (and perhaps flirt with them), the goal of early online conversations is to help them understand who you are. You want to be yourself, and following the script will only get you further away from your goal.

Starting an online conversation is difficult for most people. You are not the first and will not be the last.
In the worst case, this becomes an experience. In the best case scenario, you will have a deep relationship with someone. Nothing happens until you test.

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Choose the right time. Text the person while they’re online. It’s easier to start chatting right away instead of waiting for them to respond later.

Choose when you don’t have to move. You don’t want to get stressed, and you want the conversation to go smoothly so that there’s a chance for progress.

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Start with small things. Send the person a brief message and ask how they’re doing. For example, “Hi, how are you?” . You’ll talk more freely once you start a conversation–there’s no going back!

They will usually answer the question “how are you?” and then ask you back. Be prepared to answer.
Avoid curt answers like “I’m fine “. Anyone can say “fine”. Tell that person who you are , “I’m having fun! Today, my friends and I discovered an abandoned house on the hill. That was cool but very creepy ” or “My dance group is back. become the national team. I’m really excited! “
Mention things that interest you, but avoid bragging.

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Ask about common interests. This is the classic and sincere way of starting a conversation. If you’re in the same class, ask what the homework is. If you’re in the same club, ask about an upcoming event. That helps you start a conversation naturally, removing the initial barrier to having a more detailed conversation.

Try saying, “Oh, I forgot to do my English homework today. Did you do it? “
Or: “Hey, do you know when the next contest is? I wasn’t paying attention when the coach announced it during practice today… ”

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Praise them. If someone does something commendable, of course you should praise them. This is another great way to start a conversation and make the person feel appreciated. Don’t overdo it–keep your compliments in moderation, or they’ll feel you’re flattery.

If your classmate: “You did a great job today! I never thought I’d know so much about Ulysses S. Grant! “
If you are in the same group: “You did a great job in today’s 91km sprint. You really supported the team “.

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Ask a question. If you’ve ever met someone on the OKCupid dating site or the Tinder dating app, you probably don’t have any real-life connections to chat with. Ask the person an open-ended question about themselves. Their profile will inspire you. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example: “I see you like hip hop. Any good shows lately? “
Or: “I like your beard so much. How long have you been growing your beard? ”

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Be careful with insults. Arguments can have the opposite result: they work for some people, but make others run away. Insults come across as cheesy or manipulative, especially if they’re different from what you think of yourself. Impress with sincerity, and if that includes insults–be yourself!

Continue the conversation

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Be ready to join the conversation. Read messages and responses carefully. Talking means observing cues and understanding what people say. While you talk to the person, pay attention to the content and progress of the conversation.

In this respect, chatting online will be even easier than talking in person. You’ll be able to review the conversation if you need to remember a specific detail.

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Make a question. Be really interested in that person. Science has proven that people like to talk about themselves. ^{[2] X Sources of Research} If you ask someone, they will have a lot to say.

Ask questions that lead to other questions. If you ask “What kind of music do you like? ” and they say “I like a variety of music–rock, pop, punk. I watch a lot of local music shows “–ask them, “There’s been a lot of music lately.” Any good music shows? “
Avoid asking yes-or-no questions. A simple “yes” or “no” can end the conversation. If you need to ask a question with a basic answer or two possibilities, prepare a follow-up question.

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Don’t be too curious. Be careful with sensitive topics. You will have to use your intuition, but consider this as a general rule: Don’t ask anyone a question you don’t want to answer yourself.

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Turn your answers into questions. Conversation needs to be reciprocal, and you need to continue after you’re done if you want the conversation to continue. When you send a message, end with a question for the other person to answer. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Think of conversation like a game of catching a ball. If you catch the ball, great–but the game can’t continue until you throw the ball back to someone else.
Don’t just say, “I had a great day. I think I did well on my math test! ” Say, “I had a great day. I think I did well on my math test! How about you! ? ”

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Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself. There is a delicate balance here: if you dominate the conversation and only talk about yourself, the other person will feel you are selfish or complacent; but if you don’t reveal any personal information, you will just be a mystery person.

Be sincere. If you lie–fabricated information about yourself as someone else–it will backfire. The needle in the sheath will one day come out.
If the other person asks about you, answer – but try to turn your answer into a question. For example, if asked about your dog , say: “His name is Duke. He’s a Border Cplie. We rescued him from a cave three years ago, and he’s now part of our family. family. Do you have a pet? ”

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Use emojis and image characters, but don’t overdo them. Emojis like “:)” and “:3” can add emotion and spice to your words to complement an objective online environment. They can make other people like you and help you become friendlier. However, emojis can reveal a lot about how you feel: if someone uses a lot of smiley faces, they probably like you.

There’s nothing wrong with expressing your feelings, but depending on the situation you may want to joke around or until you get to know someone better. Be careful with emojis and their meanings.
If you want to subtly let the person know that you like them, use “:)”. From experience: use that in chat when you’re actually smiling in real life 🙂

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Don’t force. If the person only answered your question with one word, despite your best efforts, they probably don’t want to talk to you right now. If the conversation seems forced, end it and try again next time.

It’s not necessarily your fault! It’s hard to know how someone is feeling, especially online. Perhaps, the person doesn’t want to talk because they feel depressed, they have a lot of work to do, or they just had an argument with their parents.
If you try to talk to someone over and over again and they don’t seem interested in talking–stop it. Try to spend more face-to-face time with them if possible, but only if you have a good reason to do so.
Give them their own space. No one likes feeling pressured. Better to let someone go instead of making them feel uncomfortable.

End the conversation and make a plan

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Chat until there’s nothing left to say. Perhaps you’ve really run out of topics to talk about, or need to go somewhere. Either way, you’ll need to say goodbye to your partner.

Say, “Ah, I have to go to school. Nice to talk to you. Have a great day.”
Consider saying you have to go, even if you don’t really have to. This is an easy way to end a conversation without feeling rude.

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Don’t feel you need to have a formal plan. Online chats follow a slightly different protocol than face-to-face conversations. It’s not too formal. Unless your partner has limited internet access, you don’t need to arrange a “second date”. You might say, “Let’s talk sometime!”

If the conversation goes well, simply text the person back in a day or two while both of you are online. This time, you should get to know each other more. Let’s chat further based on the information and jokes the two of you shared initially.
If your partner can only access the internet at certain times or places (say, about 3 hours each afternoon, or just at the library), make a formal plan. For example, “I really enjoyed talking to you. I know you don’t always go online – can I make an appointment to talk to you again on Tuesday?”

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Be careful. If you plan to meet in person, use your best judgment of the situation. One conversation can tell you a lot, and people aren’t always what they say online. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Consider talking to the person more online before you move on to meeting in person.
If you’re using an online dating site like OKCupid or Tinder, you might decide to meet your partner soon–or right away. Use your best judgment. If you meet a stranger, tell a friend where you are going and who you will meet. Bring your phone, and if possible, meet in a public place (such as a coffee shop) during the day.

Steps

Start a conversation

Continue the conversation

End the conversation and make a plan

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