How to Start a Text Chat with a Girl

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This article was co-written by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a marriage and love expert with NYC Wingwoman LLC, a New York-based dating consultant. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Imad has helped over 100 clients, both men and women, improve their love lives through practical communication skills. He holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

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So you’ve got a girl’s phone number, but how do you start a conversation that gets her attention? Texting can be a great way to get to know and get the girl you like interested in you. The trick here is to find better opening sentences than a basic “hello” and ask interesting questions that get her to answer. Luckily, flirting and chatting with a girl over text isn’t that hard either. With expert dating tips, we’ll walk you through the process of texting the girl you like with a list of easy conversation starters.

Table of Contents

Ask open-ended questions.

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A simple “Hello” can be difficult to answer, but questions will start the natural flow of conversation. Look for open-ended questions that are often more effective than simple “yes” or “no” questions, as both will have the material to continue the story. You can start a conversation with a basic “Hi, how was your day?” or ask a more specific question. Try adding a bit of surrounding context to the question for the sake of nature. Take a look at a few examples below:

“How did you find the English exercise? This is how I see it ”
“Random question: Is there something you always wish you had the chance to do?”
“I am making a list of the best movies of all time. Which is your favorite movie?”

Say you’re looking for advice.

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She will feel valued when you ask for advice. Moreover, through it you also know more what she likes. ^{[1] X Research Resources} Try to remember what she said so you can surprise her later and start the next conversation based on what she likes. Plus, this gives you a great idea of a first date at her favorite restaurant or arcade.

“So which book will you read next?”
“I’m looking for new music. May I introduce you?”
“If someone asked me where to go for breakfast and lunch, which place would you recommend?”

Talk about her hobbies.

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She’s more likely to respond if you bring up topics she’s passionate about. If you know she likes a certain band, movie or TV show, ask her about it! Ask her what she thinks about the latest episode of her favorite show, or if she has a good song to recommend. Memorizing her likes and dislikes is a great way to show that you care about her, and you can even find common ground between the two of you. ^{[2] X Research Source}

“You like the band The Bleachers, don’t you? I just found their new EP. What’s your favorite song?”
“I saw your post about coral reefs on Facebook. How did you join the ocean club?”
“I love sports. If you had to choose to give up basketball or football, which would you choose?
If two people disagree about something, don’t panic! A little debate about “Which Beatles song is the best” can help you understand each other, sometimes even bring laughter between the two of you.

Send her a photo, an animation or a meme.

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Include a few pictures to make the conversation more lively. It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words, moreover it can change the rhythm of a conversation. You can send her a picture of something cool you saw or a meme you know she likes. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Send her a text like “You can’t guess what I saw today”, then send a picture of your friends doing crazy tricks or a beautiful sunset.
Send her a funny animation and say “I thought you were the cutest, but this one might be cuter.”
You want a change of atmosphere? If you’re familiar with her, send her a song with a line like, “This song makes me think of you.”
If you don’t know much about her, send her a link to a movie trailer or a new album by the popular band with the message, “Have you seen this?”

Say something relevant and timely.

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Talk about an impending event so it doesn’t seem like you’re just texting a random message that pops into your head. This is a great approach if you’re concerned that your messages seem just random or overzealous. Mention an EP by a popular band, talk about an upcoming math test, or ask her if she’s seen the news about a player she admires.

For example, you could ask, “Are you going to the game/play/dance tonight?” You can even ask her if she’d like to come with you (or with a group of friends if you’re afraid you’ll be in too much of a rush on the first date).
You can also talk about some casual conversation about some common experience you and her have, such as “How weird that we ran into each other at Starbucks today!” or “You can’t believe it’s today!” Miss Phuong scolded that student in English class like that!”

Start the texting game.

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Games like “What would you rather do” can help you learn more about her. Plus, if two people disagree on something, this is a great opportunity to start an interesting discussion. You can try this to start a conversation or to change the subject if she doesn’t like the previous topic. ^{[4] X Research Resources} Here are a few ideas to get you started:

“If you had to choose, would you rather go to the past or to the future?”
“Would you rather travel alone or with a group?”
“Would you rather live in a place where it’s snow-covered year-round or where it’s extremely hot?”

Say compliments to her.

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An easy way to flirt is to say a sincere and sweet compliment. Unless you and her are already close (and you think she likes you too), avoid compliments about her body or her looks. Compliment her personality and let her know how much you like her. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

“I am thinking of you. I am very lucky to have intelligent people like you in my life.”
“Every time I talk to you, I’m happy all day 😊”
“I thought I was the funniest person here until I met you.”
See Texting with someone you like if you want more ideas.

Use emoticons.

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Emojis can bring life and personality to your messages. It’s hard to predict the tone of text messages, but emojis can make a conversation come alive. The smileys are meant to be fun and flirty, but they’re also harmless enough that they don’t seem too bold or out of the ordinary. Just drop your smiley face, and she’ll notice.

You can even start a conversation with a girl by sending a bunch of emojis and asking her to guess what it means. Try saying something like, “Guess what I’m doing right now! 🎡🎈🍿” ^{[6] X Research Source}
If you’re not sure how to use smileys, start by inserting a smiley face at the end of the message, such as “Have you seen the new episode of ‘Quirky Girl’? Very good 😁”
In general, the wink face has more meaning and is often used with flirty texts. Don’t use the wink symbol in places where you usually see smileys as it can be seen as misplaced, even confusing.

Invite her out.

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Use texting to ask her out in real life. Texting is fun, but meeting to chat will take your relationship to the next level. When you’re ready, you can use messages to arrange to meet her in person – whether it’s a date, a casual get-together or a group outing. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

“Van, do you want us to study together after physics class on Tuesday?”
“I have two tickets to the concert at the park. Do you want to come along?”
“Are you free to hang out this weekend? Shall we go for a coffee?’

Send one message at a time.

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Double messages can be a bit overwhelming for the recipient. Be calm by giving her time to respond to the first text before sending the next. ^{[8] X Research Source} However, if she is a person who has a habit of sending instant messages, you should follow her and send many messages.

One rule to follow is to stay in tune with her rhythm. If it takes her 1 minute to respond to a message, you should also reply to the text within 1 minute.

Ignore her if she doesn’t like talking.

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Dry texts, single-word messages, and terse responses can signal a lack of interest. Give her time to respond as she may be busy. In the meantime, you can do something fun. After a few hours, you can �send one more message. Remember that texting is supposed to be fun, and other people are sure to enjoy talking to you.

Remember to stop texting immediately if she wants to. You need to respect her boundaries.

Advice

Flirting is lovely, but it can also be annoying or annoying if the timing is not right. When flirting, you need to pay attention to her reactions. If she sends you flirty texts back and responds quickly, that’s a good sign. If she seems lethargic, even a little nervous, slow down and return to normal conversations.
Don’t text too much as this can break the relationship. Relax and chat when she’s not busy. Texting too much will make her feel like you’re only interested in text chat and don’t want to see each other.

Warning

Be smart when texting. Remember that texting means leaving text and sometimes even pictures that you can’t delete. Never send messages that you don’t want to fall into the hands of others, whether sent or shared by the recipient, or because the phone is stolen or lost.

Steps