How to Start a New Life

There are many possible reasons why you might want to start a new life, and there are many different ways you can make this decision. For example, when you have just ended an abusive relationship and have to find a way to start a happy, healthy new life, away from the person who abused you. Or maybe you simply don’t like where you live and want to move out to start a new life in a new environment. Whatever your purpose or reason, it’s completely possible to start over if you think carefully, plan carefully, and check in with yourself to make sure you’re still doing well.

Table of Contents

Give decision

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Identify your own motivation. You need to think carefully to determine why you want to start a new life. There are many good reasons for your decision, but there are also many that are completely irrelevant.

For example, if you are a parent and your children are starting to live away from home and for the first time in decades, you are faced with a life without them, you may think that the time has come. at the beginning of a new phase in your life: You are no longer the caregiver for your children and can reorganize a more self-centered life.
On the contrary, changing your life to avoid unhappy emotions is not a good idea, because this avoidance cannot solve the problem you have. Emotions will always follow you wherever you go. You have to deal with them before you actually start a new life.

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Think about whether you have experienced any significant events in your life recently. Major life milestones such as marriage, a recent death of a family member, a failure in love or work, a change in financial or health status, moving to a new place or pregnancy, can have a profound effect on your emotions. Some of them make you feel happier, while others can cause you stress, depression and/or anxiety. ^{[1] X Research Sources}^{[2] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}^{[3] X Research Sources} If you have just experienced one of these events, remind yourself that now Your judgment may not be at your best, and consider waiting a little longer before making any important decisions.

If you’ve just experienced a huge loss, give yourself time to grieve over it. Crying is a necessary process to examine, process the sadness, and readjust your life after the loss. You don’t have to rush into change or feel pressured to “get over” it right away. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

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Consider your past. To make sure the change goes the way you want, think about what you’ve been through. You’ll want to make sure that the change you’re making is from the right goals, not running away from the past. In the end, running away from trouble won’t solve anything.

For example, do you have a habit of trying to “let go of the past” or run away from trouble as soon as it comes? Research has shown that the process necessary to grow comes from overcoming positive and negative emotions and situations. ^{[5] X Research Sources} How do you react when reality gets tough? Do you persist with your goal or run away?

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Test your personal standards. Personal standards are the road map for your life. They are at the core of what you believe: about yourself, about others, and about life in general. It is essential to check your own worth before making an important decision like starting a new life. When you know what’s most important to you, you’ll be able to ensure that you’re making the right decisions to prioritize those standards. ^{[6] X Research Source} Accepting yourself is the first step to making big changes. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Ask yourself a few questions. For example, think of two people you admire. What do you admire most about them? Why? What role does this play in your life?
Another helpful question is which issue excites and excites you the most when you hear about it? For example, do you get excited when you hear about a new invention and wish you could be a part of that innovation? Do you feel a fire of enthusiasm when you hear about community service projects? Examining this can help you figure out what you value most, like innovation, ambition, social justice, or helping people.
Remember that personal standards have no such thing as “worse” or “better”. One person may appreciate adaptability while another desires more stability. Both are correct. A personal standard is an overview of who you are and living a life that matches it. You can find a list of core personal standards online, if you need help finding the right words to define them. ^{[8] X Research Sources}
Several studies have shown that, in general, people tend to value social relationships and feel appreciated and respected in the workplace. ^{[9] X Research Sources} If one of these is missing, you may want to consider focusing your “new life” efforts on that.

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Decide how much you want to change. For some people, starting a “new life” means starting all over again: moving house, building a new social network, getting a new job, etc. For others, it brings smaller but also all-important changes, like changing old habits or attitudes and focusing on starting to live life in a different, more appropriate way. Whatever your desire is, make sure you are completely clear about the extent of the change you want to make.

Figuring out what you need to change is helpful. For example, what makes you sad or unhappy? Do you need to change everything about your life or focus on one or two things more effectively? Change isn’t easy, so you’ll be more likely to succeed if you start small and work your way up.

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Try the Best Possible Self exercise. This exercise will help you figure out what goals to work towards and what changes you need to make. Research has shown that exercise can also help you feel happier and more engaged. ^{[10] X Research Source} Take a few minutes to imagine yourself at some point in the future. There you are given the magical power to achieve all your aspirations and dreams. You become the person you always wanted to be. ^{[11] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Imagine this in as much detail as possible. Who is with you? Where do you live? What do you do? How do you feel? Incorporate as much detail as possible to create a clear image. For example, you can imagine that you are a very popular freelance artist with your own band touring around the country.
Now think about the strengths and skills you need to get there. What did you have? What do you need to improve further? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be a musician, you probably already have musical skills or at least a love of music. You’ll also need some business savvy to keep growing.
Keep your fantasy realistic and positive. ^{[12] X Research Source} Of course, you can’t be a hero like Superman – that’s completely impossible and unrealistic. However, you can imagine what you can do to become like that. For example, is Superman’s responsibility to uphold justice something you admire? You can picture yourself accomplishing that task in a different way, like becoming a cop or a lawyer, for example. Or is it because of his muscular body? You can imagine yourself getting in shape or even becoming a fitness trainer to help others achieve their fitness goals.

Make changes

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Identify the changes you need to make. If you want to change at scale, the list can be very long. If your idea of starting a new life is smaller, like finding a new job or changing your worldview, this list will be shorter. Overall, you’ll need to consider changes in several areas of your life: physical, emotional, geographical, social, financial, and work.

Nicpette Tura, MA

Mental & physical health specialist

Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .

Nicpette Tura, MA
Mental & physical health specialist

Be honest with yourself about your position. Think about what your greatest wish for yourself is, as well as the challenges you will face. What do you want to do every day to be happy? How do you think you will spend your time de-stressing? Think about anything in your life that you feel is out of balance, like work or love. That can help you decide what to do for a new chapter in life.

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Plan to achieve physical changes. For some people, changing their health or fitness level can be like starting a new life. Maybe you are overweight and want to become healthier. Maybe you’ve always huddled around in the house but have decided you’re going to learn to run a marathon. Fortunately, physical changes are some of the easiest. You can develop some healthy habits and talk to your doctor to see which plan is right for you.

Losing weight is the number one decision in New Year’s Respution, and also one that tends to break down immediately. ^{[14] X Research Source} If weight is something you want to change, or if it’s negatively affecting your health, talk to your doctor about an effective and safe way to lose weight. Your doctor will suggest combining exercise with healthy eating habits. If your weight problem is very severe, you may be offered weight loss surgery or medication. You should consult your doctor before starting a weight loss plan. ^{[15] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}
Eating right can be pretty easy if you know where to start. Instead of thinking of changing eating habits as “dieting,” think of it as starting a new long-term commitment to healthy eating. Incorporate more fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains and stop eating junk and processed foods. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}
Keeping fit is the decision that ranks fifth in New Year’s Respution. ^{[17] X Research Source} Unfortunately, about 80% of American adults don’t get enough aerobic and muscular exercise. ^{[18] X Trusted Source Centers for Disease Contrp and Prevention Go to source} Set a goal of doing moderate aerobic exercise for at least 150 minutes a week and do muscle strengthening exercises at least 2 times a week. ^{[19] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}
Choose how you dress to express who you are. The way you dress affects how you feel about yourself and how others see you. Research has shown that when you dress appropriately for your goals, you’re more likely to achieve them. ^{[20] X Research} So, wear your favorite black dress, or your favorite fan club t-shirt.

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Change emotions. It may take some time to change and control your emotions, but it will pay off. Changing your perspective on emotions will give you a new perspective on the world and make you truly feel that you have started a new life. ^{[21] X Research Resources} Self-development is an ongoing process that you will spend a lifetime working on, however, here are a few ways to get you started:

Write a gratitude journal. Gratitude isn’t just a way of behaving: it’s a way to approach life, always being grateful for even the smallest moments of happiness and goodness. Research has shown that gratitude makes you feel happier and more satisfied with life; help you learn to be flexible and adaptable to change; improve health and quality of sleep; and can also help you overcome emotional trauma. ^{[22] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source} Take 5 minutes a day or two to jot down the things you’re grateful for that day. Discover why you are grateful for it and what it has brought to your life. ^{[23] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}
Forgive. Forgiveness will free you from the burden of past hurts. You forgive others not for themselves, but for you. Research has shown that forgiveness helps you feel less angry and anxious. ^{[24] X Research Sources Baskin, TW, & Enright, RD (2004). Research on tolerance: A meta-analytical method. Journal of Counseling and Development, 82, 79-90.}
Sad. Allow yourself to feel grief and loss instead of trying to push yourself to “let it go”. Crying takes time and patience with yourself. Accepting the pain is the key to working through it and accepting it into the new life you build after the loss. ^{[25] X Research Sources}
Accept your own needs. People are often taught to deny proper care for themselves. Acknowledge that you have your needs and that is not selfish at all. You don’t have to say “yes” to every invitation or suggestion. There’s nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. Taking care of yourself not only makes you feel better, but it also helps you interact with others more positively. ^{[26] X Research Sources}

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Specify the geographic changes you want to make. Sometimes, moving to a new place is enough to make you feel like you’re starting a new life. Maybe you’ll get a new job, you’ll have to rebuild your circle of friends and get used to the new environment you’ve just stepped into. You will need to learn to be independent, build new relationships and become more flexible and adaptable – great skills for your new life. ^{[27] X Research Source}

Stepping out of your comfort zone will improve your productivity and increase your chances of success. This is because you tend to work harder and stay focused when you are in a completely new and slightly uncomfortable situation. ^{[28] X Research Sources}
Do some research to determine where you’ll be happiest to live your new life. A few things to consider include crime rates, unemployment rates, average living standards as well as home prices, and whether you’ve ever experienced somewhere that suits your tastes and lifestyle. .
Da Nang and Nha Trang are still often featured in the list of “most livable cities” in Vietnam. These can be great places to start your new life. ^{[29] X Research Sources}^{[30] X Research Sources} You can also consider quality of life rankings. ^{[31] X Research Source}
If possible, talk to people who live where you are considering moving. Plan a visit to see if you enjoy living there. The more information you have, the more prepared you will be to start your new life.

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Test your relationships. It is very difficult to start a new life if you are surrounded by people who are always dragging you down. In some cases, you need to cut someone out of your life for your own safety. In other cases, they simply aren’t worth your time and you’ll be happier if you keep them out of your life. Human interactions and relationships are key in enhancing your sense of self and life. ^{[32] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source} Research has shown that we are often greatly influenced by the people we interact with, ^{[33] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} so when starting a new life choose the people most important to you who give you the love and respect you deserve. Here are a few signs of people who are not good for you: ^{[34] X Research Source}

You are tired of spending time with them, or you are afraid to interact with them.
They criticize and criticize you excessively. You feel like you can’t get anything right around them.
They say harsh and evil things about you, to your face or behind your back.
You feel obsessive about this person, like you can’t live without them, even if they don’t notice you.
You often feel pressured to be around them.
You don’t feel safe sharing your wishes, thoughts, needs, and feelings with them.
People recovering from addiction often have to learn to avoid places they frequented and old friends to avoid relapses. If you’re recovering from alcohol addiction, spending time with old drinkers in your favorite bar can be overwhelming and can cause you to relapse. Establishing a social network that helps you and doesn’t engage in past bad habits is key to maintaining your recovery. ^{[35] X Research Source}
If you are recovering from domestic violence or an abusive relationship, changing your social circle can help. Many victims of domestic violence are isolated from society by their abusers until they have almost no contact left without strict supervision. Learning how to find social resources and support is extremely helpful in starting a new life after escaping abuse. ^{[36] X Research Resources} You might consider seeking help from a family violence support group, in a community you trust, or through mental health professionals introduced. ^{[37] X Research Source}

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Purify social life. Getting out of harmful relationships can often be difficult. After all, you won’t start a relationship with that person if you don’t like something about them. However, getting rid of bad relationships will help you move towards a better and healthier life. Here are a few ways to overcome harmful relationships: ^{[38] X Research Sources}

Talk to that person first. In some cases, the person may not even realize that their attitude is causing you pain or pressure. Share your feelings openly and honestly, and see if the person is willing to work with you to meet your needs. Otherwise, you don’t need them in your life.
Consider whether you need to separate a person from your life. Sometimes the people we love and love us say something we don’t want to hear. This does not mean that they are the “bad people” that we need to dismiss. Before you cut a relationship out of your life, consider whether what they bring is what you need and want, even if the relationship is difficult at times. Conversely, just because someone makes you happy doesn’t mean they’re right for you; for example people who can make it easier for you to continue to be addicted to something, but that is absolutely not the best thing for you. ^{[39] X Research Sources}
Foster relationships with people who make you happy. Make a list of people who make you feel better about yourself, people who bring you happiness and confidence. Make sure you strengthen relationships with people with whom you don’t feel compelled to stay in a negative relationship so you don’t feel alone. ^{[40] X Research Source}
Stop talking to that person. If you determine that a relationship with someone is not in your favor, tell that person that you need to end the relationship for your own good. Don’t talk to them, follow them on social media, or constantly see reminders about the relationship.

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Start a new financial life. Whether you’re fresh out of college or have been working for 30 years, it’s never too early or too late to start over with your financial life. Maybe you want to save money for an important goal, like buying a home or retirement. Or maybe you want to fix your spending habits so you don’t waste any more money. Take a look at your goals and decide how to take control of your finances and achieve what you want. ^{[41] X Research Source}

You may find it extremely helpful to seek the advice of a financial professional, especially if your goals are very large and complex, like starting a small company.
Check your finances. Determining your net worth gives you a concrete view of what you owe and what you have. This helps you make more rational spending decisions.
Newlyweds will benefit from taking a close look at their finances. Often you will want to set up a fund and add the other as a beneficiary in any retirement or insurance plan, and consider a new insurance policy. ^{[42] X Research Source}
If you have more debt than you can afford, you may want to consider filing for bankruptcy. Depending on your debt and income, most of your debt will be forgiven and you can start a new financial life. However, this is a very serious decision that will have lasting effects on your credit card and your entire fortune, so you shouldn’t make a hasty decision. Talk to a bankruptcy attorney to determine if this option is right for you. ^{[43] X Research Source}

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Plan for a few changes at work. Starting a new job is a great way to refresh yourself. A lot of people do things they don’t love or are passionate about, and getting out of that rut is a great way to start a new life. Find out your core personal standards (reread the section discussed above) and decide which career will help you to demonstrate those values. ^{[44] X Research Source}

Consider your current skills and abilities. What do you know? What are you good at? What special skills do you have? For example, perhaps you are a “people person” who feels inspired by interacting with others and your current job doesn’t give you the opportunity to do so. This can be your strong point and also your core personal standard.
Don’t feel limited by what you know or your current life situation. No matter where you start, you can still become the person you want to be. For example, if you decide that because you’re a public figure you want to be a therapist or a teacher, you’ll need further education, but you can. You will never be stuck where you are. ^{[45] X Research Sources}
Readjustment failed. When you see failures as a learning experience, they will stop stopping you from doing the things you want to do with your new life. Instead of focusing on the mistakes you made and letting them drag you into the past, think about what you can learn from them for future success. ^{[46] X Research Source}
Give yourself SMART career goals. This means that they are clear, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. Decide where you want to be 6 months, a year, 5 years from now. Determine how you will know when you have succeeded. ^{[47] X Research Sources}

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Talk to others. When you want to start a new life, it is extremely helpful to talk to people who are living the life you want, because it can give you an idea of how to get there. For example, if you are going to give up your boring administrative job and become a life skills coach somewhere else, it would be helpful if you could find out how others have achieved this. Get that position so you can draw your own instructions. Asking people for their direction also allows you to build a support network that can be very helpful in your new life. ^{[48]X Research Source}

Asking others tough questions about your new life is not a bad idea. It’s easy to idealize your new job or community. Understanding the core details of what you’re about to do will help you stay on track even when you encounter obstacles.
For example, you might dream that you quit your boring job and move to Hawaii, a paradise on earth. If you have talked to people who live there, you may have discovered things you didn’t know, for example the fact that living there is extremely expensive, it is difficult to find health care centers. , ^{[49] X Research source} and if you are not native or have Asian ancestry, you will forever be a hape or “foreigner” only. ^{[50] X Source of Research}^{[51] X Source of Research} That doesn’t mean you don’t like your decision to move, but it will help you better adjust to the realities of your life.

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Get support. Starting a new life can be quite a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and can help you along your journey. Knowing that you have a source of emotional support will help you feel strong and competent as you face your new life.

If you don’t have supportive family or friends, consider looking elsewhere. Support groups and faith communities are places where people turn to ask for help.

Keep yourself happy

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Check yourself. Making the big change needed to start a new life requires energy, determination, and patience. It can be extremely stressful and scary. Make sure you review yourself on a regular basis. How do you feel? How are you acting? Are you worried about anything? Journaling your thoughts can help you understand your feelings and determine if there are any issues you need support or improvement.

It’s completely normal for major changes to make you feel depressed. If you are constantly feeling sad, empty, worthless and hopeless, lose pleasure in things you once loved, change your weight or sleep habits, frequently feel anxious or guilty, or have thoughts Thinking of harming yourself, seek help. Call your doctor or mental health professional. ^{[52] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source} If you have ever had thoughts or plans to commit suicide, call 18001567 (Vietnam Center for Psychological Crisis Prevention Hotline) for help. help.

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Adjustment throughout the process. Learning to adapt to difficulties and challenges is essential to your new life. Starting a new career doesn’t mean you’ll never feel depressed or frustrated again. Moving to a new city doesn’t mean you’ll never be homesick. When you face challenges, acknowledge them and do what you need to adapt. ^{[53] X Research Sources}

You may encounter roadblocks in your journey towards your new life. For example, maybe you wanted to join the task force to fulfill your core principle of community service and honor, but you found out that you were too old to enlist. Yes you will see this as a failure, ruining your dreams or you can go back to the planner and see if there is anything else you can do that still allows you to meet the standard. that or not.

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Consider asking for advice. Even if you don’t think there’s anything “wrong,” seeing a counselor or therapist can be very helpful when you’re considering starting a new life. You are making an important life change and stress will always accompany such decisions. A therapist will give you a “place to vent” to explore your hopes and fears as you make this change. They will also be able to help you learn to think and respond productively to challenges. ^{[54] X Research Source}

Many people assume that people with “everyday” problems do not need to see a therapist, or that it is only for people with “serious” problems. The truth is, going to a therapist is like going to the dentist for a cleaning: you’re dealing with a small problem before it turns into a disaster. ^{[55] X Research Source}
Some people think that seeing a psychologist is a sign of weakness or that you are “falling down”, but this is not true at all. Seeing a psychologist is a sign that you care enough about yourself to ask for help when you need it, and that’s a good thing. ^{[56] X Research Sources}

Advice

Learn from the past, but don’t wallow in it.
Share your plans with those who love and support you. You will need those supports to start over.
Make sure you have a plan. Arrange things carefully before trying to start a new life.

Warning

If you are a victim of domestic violence and want to start a new life, reach out to a loved one or friend you trust for help. You can also call Hotline 1800 1567 for advice. Leaving your abuser can be very dangerous and you will need people you can rely on. Plan carefully and keep yourself safe.
Depression and anxiety can appear when starting a new life. Make sure you take good care of yourself and see a mental health professional if you notice feelings or behaviors that don’t match yours.

Steps

Give decision

Make changes

Keep yourself happy

Advice

Warning

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