How to Start a Conversation With Someone You Like

The person you like is right here, across from you. So close yet so far away! So how can you strike up a conversation with someone you barely know or with someone you really like? It’s not as difficult as it sounds, all you need is a few tips from wikiHow. Get started with Step 1 below to get to the intimate stage of kisses and holding hands!

Table of Contents

Prepare Yourself

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Learn about the interests and hobbies of your loved one. Pay attention to what the person does that makes them feel good. People often like to talk about what they know and what they like. You should also pay attention to the common background of both to have a suitable discussion topic.

For example, you can find out what the other person’s extracurricular activities are or what they usually do on the weekends. Maybe ask their friends or just notice what they say they did.

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Feel the other person’s personality. Are they timid? Are they sociable and outgoing? You can observe how the other person behaves socially, from which you get an idea of how to approach that person.

For example, if the other person is shy, you should talk to them when around other people, if you show your feelings too openly it will scare them, so you should avoid doing so.

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Get an overview of the enemy’s plan. You can only start a conversation with them if they are both in the same place at the same time. This information gives you more of an opportunity to have a “closer” conversation with the person you like!

In the event that your attention to information is also not effective, you can ask one of their friends for help. Good friends will want their friend to have a lover. Just make sure the friend is really trustworthy.

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Pay attention to your well-groomed appearance to feel confident. You want to look your best to show your crush that you think they’re worth the effort. Feeling comfortable with your appearance also boosts your confidence! Be especially careful with:

Hair – Get a new haircut or make it look great. Even so, you shouldn’t change your hairstyle completely… you’ll look really weird!
Clothing – Wear an outfit your partner might like. Most importantly, make sure your clothes are clean, fit properly, and are free of wrinkles or stains.
Appearance Standards – Hygiene, shaving, and a pleasant body odor will set you up for success!

Start Talking

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Choose a time and place. Depending on what you’ve learned about your crush, it’s also important to choose the time and place for the conversation. If you want to have a conversation with just the two of you, strike up a conversation while the other person is alone. If you are in a group or in a noisy place, the conversation will be more informal.

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Speak confidently. Speak clearly and make eye contact with the other person. Body language says a lot about your preferences. A smile won’t do any harm!

Remember that they are only human, just like you. You don’t have to stress, even if things don’t go as you planned, everything will be fine in the end.

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Ask open-ended questions. These questions cannot be answered with just yes or no. The goal here is to give them a chance to talk and get them to keep talking, so you’ll have the maximum chance to respond and have a real conversation!

Open-ended questions often begin with “why” or “how”, or cover complex topics. For example, you can ask: “How did you feel growing up in Hanoi and then moving here?”, “Why did you want to sign up for this class?” or “How would you like to do this _____?”

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Listen actively and pay attention to the other person’s body language. Try to ask questions that are closely related to topics the other person is interested in. The tone of your voice and body language can tell you where this conversation is going.

If they seem disinterested or distracted, you should stop when it’s your turn to speak. You shouldn’t give them the impression that you’re super weird. Just apologize (“Sorry, I forgot to call Aunty Happy Birthday!”) and try again next time.

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Allow yourself and your partner to always be primary. As the conversation progresses, you should express your opinions and interest while still giving the other person space to talk about themselves. Just make sure you’re directing the conversation to the other person when you’re just getting to know each other. You shouldn’t make them feel like you’re self-centered.

Topics Initiating Conversations

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Talk about what happens at school or at work. You can start a conversation with a topic you’re sure you two have in common: school or work (depending on how well you two know each other).

“Do you study the math that Ms. Minh teaches? I’m trying to learn so I can study next term.”
“Did you hear they’re redecorating the rest room? I was hoping for a new TV. How about you?”

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Comment on what’s happening around you. You can also comment on events happening nearby, when two people stand next to each other. Just don’t criticize or insult others (because it will leave the other person with a bad impression of what kind of person you are).

“Did you see that? I hope more people are as careful. It’s nice to see that.”
“The way he talked to her was shameful. She deserves more respect. She worked so hard.”

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Comment on the opponent. Comment on what they wear, question its provenance or story. Try to notice something they are clearly proud of, like a pair of headbands, a nice pair of shoes, or a t-shirt with a logo.

“This Burning Man shirt is so pretty. Have you ever attended? I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“This Sweet Adventure Time button. What’s your favorite character in it?”

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Make a question. Ask them questions you think they might know. This is a great way to create a conversation opportunity, but topics often have to change pretty quickly if you want the conversation to continue.

“Do you know where the Lotte building is?”
“Do you know how to open this? I’m trying to open it but I don’t know if it’s because I’m stupid or my hands are weak.”

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Help me. Ask the other person to help with something very small, without spending a minute of their time. People like to feel useful and will give you a chance to strike up a conversation while they have a positive feeling.

“I was thinking, can you help me get that item from the shelf? These chairs don’t look very safe so I don’t dare to stand up.”
“Can you help me hold this coffee for a second so I can clean up? I don’t want to spill the coffee.”

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Ask about their past. Ask why or how they feel when they are in a particular place. For example, if you are at a party, ask them how they know the host. If you are at school and are hanging out with class or friends, you can ask if they live in the area.

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Talk about a recent event. You can talk about what is happening in the news, in the country or in your area. This is a way to bring up more serious topics if you really want to get to know the other person.

“Did you hear about this weekend’s protest? I was planning to join.”
“Did you hear that the city is planning to split the highway? Traffic will then be a deadly disaster.”

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Talk about a movie or TV show. Comment on or talk about a recent movie or TV show, something you absolutely love, or something you’ve never seen before. Acknowledge their opinion and use it as a reason to talk more. Even if they haven’t seen it, you can turn the conversation into another great topic.

“Have you gone to see the new Spider-Man movie? I’m trying to find out if it’s worth watching.”
“Oh, let’s say you watch Game of Thrones too, I need someone to get excited with! Don’t you? You should watch it… awesome!”, etc.

Advice

Stop forcing the conversation. If the person you like isn’t excited, that’s why you should stop. You should try again another time.
While you want to get to know the person you like before you talk to them, you don’t have to know everything about them. Knowing too much about a person (and how to use that information) can make the other person feel uncomfortable.
Need patience. If the timing is still not favorable for you, you should stop and think.
Always respect and compliment them politely. Example: “You look very beautiful today”.

Steps

Prepare Yourself

Start Talking

Topics Initiating Conversations

Advice

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