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This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 16 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,433 times.
Maybe you’re nervous when you want to start a conversation with a stranger, but with a few pointers, you’ll be more confident to start the conversation. When you’re approaching a girl, give her a warm smile and read her body language to see if she’s ready to talk. Then you’ll talk about where you live, ask friendly questions, be funny, and ask for contact information to get her to expect more from you. If you’re talking online or on a dating app, start off with a friendly, personal message to show you’re thinking about her.
Steps
Approach a girl directly
- Tell yourself, “I’m a nice, funny person, and the shirt I’m wearing is amazing. She will be happy to talk to me.”
- The main attraction comes from the way you present yourself, not the appearance. If you act like someone who takes care of yourself, is always friendly and smiling, you’ll be much more attractive.
- If you have to approach her from behind, say “Hello” instead of touching their shoulder. Some girls feel panic when someone suddenly touches them.
- You appear to be a funny person if you always smile instead of scowling.
- If you know she’s shy, don’t take the lack of eye contact as a bad sign.
- You can try approaching her on another occasion to see if her attitude improves. However, if she’s still not in the mood to talk, it’s best to stop. She will find it weird or annoyed that you keep trying to reach out. Instead, you should think about other girls you can talk to.
Start chatting
- Making up stories based on where you are is a great way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, because it’s casual and friendly.
- Say, “My name is Nam. What is your name?”
- If you find it difficult to joke with strangers, don’t try. Instead, seduce her with other aspects of you, such as your optimism or beautiful smile.
- Don’t be in a hurry to ask questions that are too personal. You might ask, “What do you like about this coffee shop?” or “I like your Hogwarts shirt. Which Harry Potter book do you like?”
- If the two of you are in school, you might ask, “Who taught you history?” or “Are you on the basketball team? Looks like I saw you playing last week.”
- For example, if she tells you her favorite band and asks if you like it, don’t say, “I hate those guys. They sing badly.” Instead, steer the conversation in a positive direction: “I don’t know much about them. But I really like outdoor concerts. Have you ever listened to it?”
- Try to naturally incorporate compliments into the conversation. If she says something that makes you laugh, when you’re done, say, “You’re funny.” If she says something nice, say, “You’re so sweet.” If there’s a pause in the conversation and she’s smiling, you can say, “You have a beautiful smile.”
- See how she reacts to your compliments. If she blushes, smiles, giggles, or compliments you back, that’s a good sign. If she gets angry and backs off, then she’s probably not interested in you.
- You might say, “I have to go now, but I want to talk to you later. Can I have your phone number?”
- Or you say, “I’d love to see you again. Can I have your phone number?” Then you give her the phone to get her number.
Texting with a dating app
- Incorporate compliments into the conversation to flirt with her. Text her like this: “I don’t know which subject to choose for next semester, you are the smartest here. Can you give me some advice?” Or, “You sang so well at the concert yesterday! Any other good songs? I want to hear some more songs.”
- Joking around by pretending to have an urgent business, “I have a quick question to ask you: which is the best ice cream parlor in town?”
- Text something like, “I just finished watching ‘Want to date’. Very good program! Do you know any other good programs?”
- You can text, “Just finished listening to the song “I’m not coming back this spring”, I suddenly remembered you at the spring music performance that day. What you are doing?”
- Mention something in common between the two of you. For example, “I just met Mr. Trung at the supermarket. Hihi, I’m afraid to die. I don’t know how I could have passed that subject without your funny comments.”
- Text like this, “Teacher L gives a mountain of homework… Dating to do homework this weekend?”
- Make her a hero by texting, “I’m dying of school. Save me!”
- Feel free to text funny and demean yourself a little. For example, if her resume says she likes karaoke, say, “I see you could be a karaoke star. Is singing out of tune a disaster for you? Ask for a friend.”
- For example, if your resume says she likes to watch the movie Friends, say, “So do you feel like Rachel, Phoebe, or Monica?” If her resume says she likes to read, ask her what her favorite book is.
- If she doesn’t include anything specific on her resume, you question one of her photos. For example, “The scene looks great! Where did you take the picture?”
- Be straightforward and ask her out. Say, “Can I invite you out for coffee this week? There’s a new coffee shop that has really good cakes.”
- Or say, “I’d like to meet up to talk further. Would you like a drink at Benni’s on Fridays?”
- If she’s not available at the time you mentioned, ask her when she’s free.
This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 16 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,433 times.
Maybe you’re nervous when you want to start a conversation with a stranger, but with a few pointers, you’ll be more confident to start the conversation. When you’re approaching a girl, give her a warm smile and read her body language to see if she’s ready to talk. Then you’ll talk about where you live, ask friendly questions, be funny, and ask for contact information to get her to expect more from you. If you’re talking online or on a dating app, start with a friendly, personal message to show you’re thinking about her.
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