How to Show Empathy

Showing empathy is one of the most important skills you can learn in life. The ability to understand and empathize with others helps you connect with the people around you. Some people have a natural ability to empathize, but for others this is a challenge. Fortunately, there are many practical and concrete ways to show empathy to those around you today. Check out these tips to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand their feelings.

Table of Contents

Chat with new acquaintances.

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Ask about the people you meet. It could be the cashier at the grocery store, your neighbor, or someone you meet at the park while walking your dog. You don’t need to ask personal questions, asking them how they’re doing these days is enough to show interest. Asking questions about strangers is a way to help you learn more about them and become empathetic. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Talking to someone who makes you feel comfortable is usually easy. However, if you regularly chat with “familiar faces”, it will be difficult for you to show empathy for the person who is different.

Acknowledge the feelings of others.

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Let them know that you understand what they are going through. Or, if you don’t really understand or feel in tune, say that their feelings are real and worthy of respect. You don’t have to agree with someone to acknowledge their feelings, and it shows that you understand they are human too. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source}

For example, you could say, “I just wanted to let you know that it’s completely normal for you to feel angry right now. Everyone copes with disapproval differently, and it’s up to you to feel how you feel.”
Or, “It’s understandable that you feel angry at what your boss said. If that’s the case, I’ll be mad.”

Find common ground with others.

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This will help you to be more understanding and empathetic. When talking to new people, you should find 2 or 3 things in common between the two of you. For example, two of you grew up in the same city, two of the same age, or two of you both going through the same phase in life. You will be surprised that you have more in common with the people around you than you think. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Taking an interest in the lives of others is also a way of showing empathy in everyday life.

Pay attention to what others have to say.

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That shows you care about what they have to say. Try to listen attentively to others by removing distractions and making eye contact. You can also paraphrase what they say in your own words to make sure you really understand. Try to focus on what the other person is saying, rather than what you are going to say. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, when a friend talks about a difficult time they are going through, you might say, “It seems like you’ve been feeling down and down lately. I’m really sorry to hear that.”
Or, if your loved one is talking about their job, you could say, “You seem to be under a lot of stress. I didn’t expect that work would make me so exhausted.”

Caring about other people’s feelings.

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This will help you understand their behavior. If you find it difficult to bond with someone, try to put yourself in their shoes and think about their feelings. If you can empathize in this way, you will bond with them more and have better control over how you feel about how they behave. ^{[5] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source}

Suppose when your child has cheated on a math test, you can empathize with her by putting yourself in her shoes and understanding that she did so because she was afraid of getting a bad grade.

Experience someone’s life for a day.

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Get to know others better by trying out their life experiences for a day. You can practice their religion and they will practice yours for a month. Or, you can spend time meeting with homeless people to see what their daily lives are like. Show empathy for those around you by taking an interest in their lives instead of just passing them by on the street. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

You can also volunteer at a charity kitchen or a remote location.

Use open body language.

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Body language says a lot about what you think. Besides showing understanding through words, you should also show it through gestures. When you’re talking to someone, try to sit up straight and don’t cross your arms over your chest. Make eye contact and relax your face so you don’t look angry or sad. Open your palms to let others know that you are open to new information. ^{[7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

Open body language also makes you appear more approachable.

Touching another person’s hand or shoulder.

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A gentle touch can make a huge impact. When you comfort someone who is upset, touch their shoulder or hand. If you’re close to them, you can hug them too. However, their consent is important; Therefore, you should ask first if you are not too close to them. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “Looks like you’re in need of a hug. Can I hug you?”
Or, “Can I pat you on the shoulder?”

Willing to help when possible.

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Don’t be afraid to express your desire to make other people’s lives easier. You can help with something as small as opening someone’s door, or you can help with something big like setting up computers for the elderly. When you reach out to help others, it means you understand what they are going through and why they will appreciate your support.

Even saying you’re willing to help is an act of empathy. Tell a friend that they can always come to you when they need something to open the door to their willingness to help and support.

Join a community organization.

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Contributing to the achievement of a common goal. Research shows that collaborating with people who are different from you can help you develop empathy and compassion for others. You can become a volunteer with a charity, parish, political organization or support group. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Connecting with new people is also a great way to learn empathy. Who knows, you might even make new friends!

Accept others without judgment.

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Hasty judgment can cause you to make unbiased judgments about others. Instead, you should spend time getting to know someone before making baseless conjectures about them. When you know their situation, it will be easier to see things from their point of view instead of making judgments. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, you just met someone and they look unfriendly. In this case, they may experience social anxiety and feel shy when meeting new people. As you learn more about them, they may open up and explain that they often feel nervous in social situations.

Stand up to protect others

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Show empathy by not tolerating injustice. You can donate money to an organization you care about, or join an organization. If you see someone being bullied or disrespected, step in and help them. Put yourself in someone’s shoes and let them know that you’re always happy to help. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Suppose when someone makes a rude joke with another person, you can say: “What you just said is very difficult to hear”.
Or, if someone interrupts the other person and gains the right to speak, you could say, “I think she hasn’t finished her point yet. Let her talk and you can talk right away.”

Advice

Don’t get discouraged if you don’t do well the first few times. Like everything else, to show empathy effectively requires practice until it becomes a habit.

Steps