You are viewing the article How to Set Personal Boundaries at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,603 times.
Boundaries are the distance between you and others. Think of it as a fence or a gate. As a gatekeeper, you can decide how people approach you both physically and emotionally. By setting some boundaries, you allow others to demonstrate how trustworthy they are before you let them step closer to your life. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Understanding Healthy Boundaries
- The need to always want to be with a lover.
- Control your lover.
- Inability to make friends with others.
- Use alcohol and drugs to make yourself feel more comfortable in the relationship.
- Want the relationship to never change.
- Jealousy or lack of commitment.
- Your own health and well-being is important, and you will not be forced to ignore your own needs.
- You have the right to be treated with respect.
- You won’t be manipulated or forced to do something you don’t want to do, even if someone else is trying to make you feel guilty.
- You will not allow others to yell at you, make you feel bad about who you are or your actions, or call you by your name.
- You do not blame others for some things that are your responsibility, and you do not allow others to blame you for things that you are not responsible for.
- You should keep your feelings separate from others, even though you sympathize with the person you care about.
- You communicate your own needs assertively, and work toward cooperation where possible. This helps maintain mutual respect.
- When someone invades physical distance, we feel it from within. This makes us feel uncomfortable and unnatural.
- When you’re in a relationship with someone, make sure you’re comfortable with how you express yourself physically with that person. Talk about what makes you feel safe and loved. [6] X Research Sources
- Nordic and North American people value the greatest amount of personal space possible. [7] X Research Sources
- People in the Middle East, South America and southern Europe have the smallest personal space distance, [8] X Research Source and touching is normal.
- Eastern cultures consider touching each other or patting each other on the back as taboo and insulting.
- Using someone else’s belongings without permission is a violation of physical boundaries. Even if you are concerned about safety or suspect something is wrong, the healthy and respectful way is to meet and talk to them. Surely others know this crosses the line and this is not respectful behavior.
- Have a healthy sense of yourself, independent of anyone.
- Know that you have the power to choose how you want to feel and the ability to do that.
- You can track how much you share about yourself so you can respect yourself.
- Sometimes it’s okay to say “no” when you need to be assertive and honest with yourself.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
- For example, your roommate regularly borrows your car. She never refills the gas tank or gives you gas money. You can’t keep paying off your gas bill forever.
- For example, you might decide that you won’t let others take advantage of you and disrespect your time and personal space.
- For example, you might want your roommate to pay for gas when she drives your car.
- For example, talk calmly and politely to your roommate that you need her to help with car maintenance with gas money. If she doesn’t want that, then she can’t ride your car anymore.
- For example, if friends have a habit of coming up to you unannounced and it bothers you, tell them that you want them to call before coming. Setting boundaries also means when something is up. happening at a time (for example, someone borrowed something without asking), you can point it out and let the person know this is unacceptable. Speak calmly and politely. Talk to your roommate that you want her to consult you before borrowing a car.
- For example, if your roommate forgets to give you gas money, remind them gently but firmly.
- You can ignore and ignore, but don’t forget: this is a process. Reset your resolve and stick to the boundaries.
- At first, you may notice that others are pushing against your boundaries. If they respect you, they will be willing to accommodate them.
- Remember, you are not trying to change people or control them. You just need to focus on how you want to be treated. You will communicate this with words and actions. For example, a friend arrives without calling first. To maintain boundaries, you can say, “I’m sorry you’re coming in at this time, but I’m busy on a project at work and I can’t see you right now. I hope next time you will call before coming.” This strategy will strengthen your boundaries in a polite way about respecting personal time and space.
- You: “Hey Nam, we’ve been playing video games for a few hours. Now I’m tired and want to go to sleep.”
- Nam: “Oh, come on, it’s Friday night. Watch the next movie or order pizza.”
- You: “Sorry, Nam. You’d better go home. I need to go to sleep now.”
- Allow yourself to recognize and respect the boundaries you need to perform successfully.
- When you live within your boundaries, others can choose to either respect it or not. When they choose not to respect your boundaries, you have the opportunity to reinforce them in a self-affirming way.
- You don’t allow anxiety or low self-esteem to stop you from taking care of yourself.
- You are not responsible for how others treat you when you maintain your healthy boundaries.
- For example, there may always be someone who stands too close to you or often looks over your shoulder while you are reading e-mail. This is a good opportunity to practice asking others to give you more personal space. [14] X Research Source
- Once you define and establish clear and healthy boundaries, you’ll find it easy to maintain. At the same time, you’ll find yourself gaining confidence and your relationship improving.
- You can still feel connected to others even when you have healthy boundaries. But you should be able to respect yourself, your time, and your own needs without getting caught up in others. [15] X Research Source
- You should feel free to go out with other people. A healthy relationship doesn’t require you to ask permission to do something. If your boyfriend/girlfriend seems jealous when you’re out with other friends, have a conversation to establish a boundary about your activities.
Setting Boundaries at Work
- For example, some co-workers may assume you’ll be replying to e-mails for hours. If you just want to save test emails during work hours, you need to communicate that. If a coworker says, “I’ll send you a sketch of the project tonight,” you might respond, “I’ll be sure to see your sketch when I get to the office.”
- If you’re in a management position, you can help develop a few policies to ensure proper boundaries.
Avoiding the Relationship of Violence and Control
- Physical abuse: This may include hitting, slapping, punching, or other forms of physical harm.
- Threats of Violence: According to the Northwestern Women’s College Center, “healthy relationships do not include threats.” [20] X Research Source
- Disrupting the object: This is used to intimidate others and it can be a precursor to violence.
- Use force in an argument: Someone might try to restrain you with physical gestures or block the way so you can’t escape to safety.
- Jealousy: A jealous person may question or monitor their partner about certain activities.
- Behavioral control: Someone may be fully absorbed in some of your movements until they begin to control your appearance and activity. Control is evident in questioning a person about where she is, what she is doing, who she is with, or why she is late coming home.
- Engage quickly: An abuser may pressure you into a relationship before enough time has passed to develop feelings and a desire to commit.
- Quarantine: This may include some efforts to eliminate your contact with friends and family.
- Cruelty to animals and children: The abuser will use this as a way to force you to do what he wants without regard for the pain or feelings of the pet or the child.
- Come up with a keyword or phrase that will signal to the support person that you need help right away. This can be difficult to do if the abuser keeps a tight grip on every move and never allows you to be alone.
- Use your phone or the Internet to connect with external contacts. Have a secure password to keep your communications private.
- Have a good list of phone numbers for some places and people who can help you.
- Know where the emergency room is to go if injured and get help from local resources.
- Consult the Domestic Shelters website to locate the nearest peaceful home in the US. In Vietnam, you can go to the Center for Women and Development – Vietnam Women’s Union to get support.
Advice
- Some boundaries also include your personal information. Consider whether you feel comfortable sharing personal information in the relationship. You don’t need to share your bank account information, email passwords, and other confidential information with your boyfriend or girlfriend. [25] X Research Sources
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,603 times.
Boundaries are the distance between you and others. Think of it as a fence or a gate. As a gatekeeper, you can decide how people approach you both physically and emotionally. By setting some boundaries, you allow others to demonstrate how trustworthy they are before you let them step closer to your life. [1] X Research Source
Thank you for reading this post How to Set Personal Boundaries at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: