How to Say Goodbye to Stubbornness

Are stubborn, stubborn and stubborn the words used to describe you? It’s important to stand your ground, but it’s also important to know how to compromise, compromise, and cooperate. Stubbornness can cause you to not be invited to events, lose friendships, and even your dream job. If you’ve always wanted to do your own thing and refuse to give in, it’s time for a change. To transform stubbornness, you need to apply practical methods, develop negotiation skills, and analyze the causes of your stubbornness.

Table of Contents

Take a practical approach

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Listen to the other side of things. Maybe you only agree with some ideas and disagree with others. This is the time to listen to things you never knew before and have a better chance of reaching an agreement. When both parties listen, things will be easier. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If you keep thinking of reasons to say “no” while the other person is talking, you are not listening attentively. If you have difficulty listening, you can say to the other person, “Yes, I am listening to what you have to say”. This is a way to force you to pause your thoughts and focus on their words.
Look the other person in the eye so you can focus and listen attentively to what they are saying.
Do not interrupt the speaker. Instead, you’ll wait until the other person has finished speaking before pointing out the problem. Repeat what you hear using similar words. Every time you do this, you will gradually become a good listener. ^{[2] X Research Source}
If the speaker is unhappy, happy, or expressing passion in his words, you can respond with, “It sounds like you’re really excited about this opportunity. I can feel why that’s important to you.” People often like to be heard and understood. When you can repeat exactly what you hear, the speaker will know that you are listening.

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Tell yourself that you are not always right. While listening to other people speak, you may think that everything they say is wrong because you know “what is right”. You should know that there is a difference between fact and opinion. Your thoughts are not the most important thing and what you know is not entirely accurate either. Accept that you will learn something new every day, even if it is something you think you already know.

You are entitled to your opinion, but you cannot expect others to always agree with you. Repeating your opinion by raising your voice, repeating it over and over, or with judgment won’t help you convince others to agree with you. Everyone has their own thoughts.
No one likes “know-it-all”. If you value maintaining relationships with family, friends, and business associates, you must consider your ability to get along. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Gradually build trust with others. Your stubbornness can make it hard for you to trust anyone. Almost no one wants to continue to extract anything from you when you are no longer fighting for your goals. For those who still do, it’s a clear sign that you should stay away from them. Note, this group of people is only a minority, not the majority.

There are many ways to help you build trust with others. Start with small steps and move on to bigger steps. For example, if you think someone is irresponsible, allow them to help you pick up dry cleaning at the store. This is a low-risk activity, but still helps you build trust. When you find the person trustworthy, give them a chance to do more important things. Every time that person completes a task, your trust in them also increases.
Even if someone forgets to do something for you, that doesn’t mean they’re untrustworthy. Give them a second chance to gain your trust. Surely you will also appreciate receiving a similar concession.

Develop negotiation skills

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Build relationships to reduce stress. Don’t be stubborn in exchange for what you want; Instead, you should learn the negotiation skills needed to compromise, compromise, and cooperate with others. That way, you’ll get what you want in a more efficient and professional way. Relationship building is the first step. People are often softer with people with similar interests. If you will let go of your stubbornness and bond with others, they will respond to it with a positive attitude.

Find common ground with the other person by noticing a picture or picture that is hung on the wall or placed on the person’s desk and says, “This is a beautiful picture. It seems to be the scene that I saw in Nha Trang. Where did you take the picture?”
Another way to find common ground between you and others is to talk about weather, animals, and children. People are generally welcoming to those with whom they feel close. Find topics related to that person so they can easily talk to you. Bringing up a general topic before you leave is an effective way to end a conversation.
You will be asked questions that make you “ruffled”. However, stay calm and say, “With the desire to solve the problem, I will try to answer this question in good faith.” Saying this is a reminder to focus on building the relationship.
You may feel competitive with that person, but remember that every competitive situation has room for positive teamwork. ^{[5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Always maintain a professional yet friendly tone throughout the conversation.

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Minimize misunderstandings to increase solutions. You need to aim to understand what the other person is saying and wanting. If you don’t understand, ask them to explain further. Besides, state your wishes so that the other person can understand what you want. When both sides understand each other, you will easily get positive results.

When you don’t understand something, you can say, “I still don’t seem to understand why you need the car next week. Do you have no car to go to work or will you be fired for not having a car?”
You also need to apologize for the misunderstanding, such as “I apologize for creating this misunderstanding. Let me repeat it.”

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Give a compelling argument for your point of view. Your unruly demands will lose their persuasion if you often choose to take control of the situation with a stubborn attitude. Maybe other people no longer want to solve problems with you because you constantly impose your views.

Saying “Because I said so” while negotiating is unacceptable and prevents you from reaching an agreement. You will need convincing evidence to make your point clear. For example, if your partner wants you to go to the office party but you don’t want to, try saying, “I know I’m a bit stubborn, but the reason I don’t want to go to the party is because I don’t know you. Nobody’s there, and I think you’d be happier with your friends. You don’t have to worry about whether I’m happy or not. I didn’t participate because I really wanted you to have fun.”

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Have a positive outlook and be excited about the deals. If you insist on saying “no” to every situation, it will be difficult for you to reach an agreement. Conflict will be resolved faster when you start with the thought “What should we do to solve this?”. You don’t lose your power by choosing this approach. In fact, coming up with a solution with the right attitude is a formidable achievement.

If you have a conflict with a roommate and have resolved a persistent problem, say, “I’m glad we’ve settled this issue. Let’s go to coffee to celebrate. I will invite!”
When you disagree with someone, acknowledge their attempt to solve the problem. For example, you could say, “I appreciate you working with me to solve the problem. I hope we can forget about that for now.”
Acknowledge your daring to leave your stubbornness behind to make a difference by saying, “I’ve been trying to be softer and I think it works. Do you think so?”. Don’t think you’re admitting your weakness. Making change is a manifestation of power.

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Accept discord. There will be times when you cannot reconcile a conflict. All you can do is try your best to solve the problem. Surely you still want to put more effort into changing the situation. However, at some point, you have to accept the truth and move forward.

You can always choose to stop acting to allow yourself and the other person to think, calm down, and come up with a solution.
Sometimes the best way is to understand that you will never understand everything. Here’s how to help your mind let go of your worries.

Analyze your stubbornness

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Find out and identify the losses in your life. Bigotry can be the reaction that happens when you lose someone or something in your life. Perhaps you are protecting yourself from other losses because a previous loss caused you great pain. Material things, people or family status have slipped out of your hands. So, subconsciously, you think that if you stay consistent, you will no longer have to suffer.

Everyone’s stubbornness stems from many different reasons. The causes could be: feeling belittled; have some secret to keep; desire to be noticed by others; fear of losing power. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Here are a few situations that provoke human stubbornness: when playing competitive games; a friend who was expelled from school and doesn’t want anyone to know about it so he refuses to talk about school, a person who argues about something and holds a position against those involved; roommates don’t want to be responsible for money matters.
The wayward lifestyle you are creating is completely unhealthy. Over time, you will feel isolated, depressed, and face other psychological challenges. ^{[7] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Have you ever felt out of control when a parent abandoned you, lost a spouse, or didn’t get your dream job? Instead of being stubborn, you should learn to cope in a healthier way such as: participating in rewarding activities that require you to open your heart, learning to work through the pain of loss ^{[8] X Research} or meditation . ^{[9] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Are you passive-aggressive because someone often asks you to do things you don’t like? Now, when others ask you to do as they please, you still agree but do so reluctantly, making them angry. Making promises as a passive-aggressive behavior can have a negative effect and destroy any relationship. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Ask yourself why you always want to be right. Insecurity manipulates human behavior and can lead to anxiety and depression. ^{[11] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} Are you afraid that others will think you are unqualified, incompetent, useless, or not normal when you show your weak side? Believing you’re right when it’s not will gradually make you more insecure.

Admit that you’re wrong when it’s an indisputable fact. You will realize your actions are not the end. In fact, it helps you to become relieved and to begin to understand that stubbornness affects your thoughts, feelings, and relationships.

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Determine what you want to gain from your stubborn attitude. Be aware that excessive obstinacy creates barriers between you and others. Are you pushing others away? Do barriers make you feel safe? What is the price you have to pay? Do your actions produce positive results?

Is stubbornness working against you? Do you want stability and attachment, but your actions push others away? The answer is: stubbornness doesn’t help you at all.
Be honest with yourself and list what you hope to gain from your stubbornness. For example, does this make you more powerful than others, doesn’t mess up your life, or do you want to prove that no one can dictate to you? It is unrealistic to expect these results. Getting to know your distorted thinking is essential to making a change.
Make a second list of things you can do to say no to stubbornness and build the unfettered life you want.

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Seek help when you get stuck. Use all your courage and courage to ask for help. If you are having trouble controlling your stubbornness, you should look to reliable sources for support. You can consult many sources of information through a psychologist or doctor. Talking to someone will help you deal with the problem and develop an effective approach to solving it. ^{[12] X Research Source}

If you feel overly isolated, see your doctor or psychologist. If you have just experienced a great loss, bigotry occurring in a short period of time is considered normal. However, this can be a sign that you are still traumatized after the loss; Therefore, post-loss psychotherapy will help. ^{[13] X Research Source}
You can also try art therapy as it is a very effective method. ^{[14] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

Advice

Respect the beliefs of others and your own.
Take advice from others.
Love others and allow them to love you.
As you read articles about positive change, your chances of success will also gradually expand.
When you feel resistance starting to build up in you, stop and say, “I won’t be stubborn anymore. I will be open to everything.”
When you’re afraid of losing something important, the more you try to hold onto those things so they don’t slip out of your hands. So learn to let go.
Have the courage to face defiance because this part of your personality makes it difficult to lead a fulfilling life.
Realize that you are not always right.
Listen and respect others, but still know how to protect yourself.
Realize that there will be times when you will hurt others by opposing them with your unruly behavior.
Think of society, friends and family instead of just thinking about yourself.
Stubbornness can be the result of selfishness. Find out if selfishness is at the root of the problem.

Warning

If your personality is somewhat stubborn then that is also the real you. However, you can learn to control it so that it doesn’t become a hindrance.
Stubbornness can take away your relationships, your job, your opportunities, and even your life if you refuse to get treatment when it’s needed.
Apologizing is never too late to get yourself out of a dangerous situation caused by your lack of tenderness.
You have to know what the consequences of your behavior are before you can change it. Your behavior affects others and it is your responsibility to treat them the way you would like to be treated.

Steps

Take a practical approach

Develop negotiation skills

Analyze your stubbornness

Advice

Warning

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