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How to Save a Relationship

February 2, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Save a Relationship  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.

There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 49,716 times.

If you’re feeling jittery because your relationship is on the edge, it might be time to rethink and try to save it. When you want to mend a relationship, the two of you need to sit together to figure out the problem or problems and find solutions to them. You also need to try to love each other again and reawaken the feeling you had before. See “When should you attempt to heal?” to know more when saving the relationship are steps in the right direction.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Find the problem
    • Find a way to solve the problem
    • Learn to love each other again
    • When should you try to mend?
  • Warning

Steps

Find the problem

Image titled Appogize For Cheating on Your Partner Step 1

Image titled Appogize For Cheating on Your Partner Step 1

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Think about when things started going wrong. If you’ve reached the critical stage, you can probably guess when things start to go wrong, even if just a little. Think about when the problem started so you know how to discuss it with your partner or lover.

  • It can be easy for you to identify the main reason, such as someone you love being unfaithful, and this has changed the dynamics of the two of you in the relationship.
  • More often than not, you don’t find a single major cause, but instead a series of reasons why things don’t go the way you want them to. Many little things can start to accumulate into problems. For example, he spends too much time with his friends, or the two of you never try to spend time together. Or maybe you’re both stressed out at work.
  • It is possible that the two gradually become at odds with each other. If you’ve been together for a long time, it’s possible that you two have become different people after a while.
  • If you don’t know where to start, try answering multiple-choice questions. That can help you gauge where your relationship is. [1] X Research Source
Image titled Innovate Step 2

Image titled Innovate Step 2

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Determine if you should try. Sometimes there are relationships that we can’t save, especially when the other person isn’t willing to put in the effort. If only one side wants to save, the results will not go anywhere. Also, if your relationship is abusive in some way, whether physical or emotional, you probably shouldn’t hold on.
Image titled Have Phone Sex Step 1

Image titled Have Phone Sex Step 1

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Choose a good time to talk to the person. You should choose a time when you will be less disturbed. Also, it should be in a private place where other people can’t hear it. [2] X Research Sources Furthermore, you should talk when both of you are not overly excited. You need to try to have a calm, rational conversation and put your emotions aside. [3] X Research Sources
Image titled Make Your Husband Fall in Love with You Again Step 12

Image titled Make Your Husband Fall in Love with You Again Step 12

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Talk to the other person. If your marriage or relationship has reached the point where it needs to be saved, the other person probably knows that there’s something wrong with you. However, if you have never mentioned it, now is the time to start talking. It’s best to do this when you’re calm and restrained to have a real discussion, not a loud argument. [4] X Research Sources

  • It’s important that you not only talk, but also listen to your partner or lover say and feel about what’s going on in your relationship. [5] X Research Sources You can show that you are listening by summarizing what the other person has just said to show that you understand what they are saying. You can also ask again to show that you heard and want to learn more.
  • When raising an issue, you should focus on statements where the subject is yourself, not the other person. For example, you could say, “I wanted to talk about our relationship,” instead of blaming, “You’re messing things up between the two of us.” [6] X Research Sources
Image titled Apply for a Marriage Certificate in Dwarka Step 3

Image titled Apply for a Marriage Certificate in Dwarka Step 3

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Work together to solve each problem. During the conversation, two people should exchange points one by one. Find out what both of you think is the problem and discuss how the problems started. Forging an open conversation can be difficult, but it’s important for both of you to recognize where the relationship starts to go wrong. Additionally, you can find help through educational websites to identify what is healthy and unhealthy in your relationship. [7] X Research Sources

  • For example, a healthy relationship is when both are themselves, are independent, and respect each other’s identities and boundaries. Both are interested in what the other is doing and encourage each other. [8] X Research Sources
  • An unhealthy relationship, on the other hand, is when both partners are dissatisfied with their partner or lover, and feel pressured to change the other. You may also feel controlled or controlled, or that you are the one controlling the other person. [9] X Research Source
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Image titled Respve Wedding Disputes with Your Fiance or Fiancee Step 2

Image titled Respve Wedding Disputes with Your Fiance or Fiancee Step 2

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Pay attention to behavior patterns. Instead of blaming each other, consider what patterns of behavior by both of you led to the problem. For example, you keep forgetting to call home late on the day and your wife or lover gets upset when you don’t show up on time. So to punish the other person, next time you won’t call home, so it becomes a vicious cycle. When you bring the issue up, focus on how to deal with it, such as, “Next time I’ll try to remember to call home if you can ignore the few times I forgot to call. Or near the end of the day, you can text me to remind me.” [10] X Research Source

Find a way to solve the problem

Image titled Make Your Husband Fall in Love with You Again Step 14

Image titled Make Your Husband Fall in Love with You Again Step 14

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Consider consulting a professional. If you’re trying to save your relationship, it’s also a good idea to seek professional help. A counselor can help you decipher the problems you’re facing, especially when you feel like you can’t be in the same room anymore.
Image titled Talk to a Guy Step 9

Image titled Talk to a Guy Step 9

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Be honest with each other. Being honest is also a way of being receptive, and by doing so you show the other person that you trust him. You should try expressing your thoughts and feelings. When you’re willing to open up, you’re encouraging the other person to participate, and asking them to be as honest as you are. However, it is important that you continue to say sentences with the subject of you to express your feelings instead of blaming the other person. [11] X Research Source

  • For example, when talking to the other person, you shouldn’t say, “I never made you a priority.” Instead, say, “Sometimes I feel like I’m being neglected in my relationship with you.” That way you are expressing your feelings instead of pointing your nose at the other person. [12] X Research Source
Image titled Talk to a Guy Step 13

Image titled Talk to a Guy Step 13

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Let’s cooperate. Instead of each person standing aside to argue, both need to work together. Both should work together to solve problems, treating each other as teammates rather than rivals. However while looking for cooperation, you must also try to find a solution. That means the two sides need to first agree on defining the problem. [13] X Trusted Source University of Missouri Extension Go to Source

  • Once you both realize the problem, you also need to talk about what is hidden inside that both of you are confused. Maybe each person knows what “winning” is like, but if both aim to win, no one will win in the end. Instead, state why you want to use the solution. [14] X Research Source
  • You should also find consensus on the problem and how to solve it. For example, if you two disagree about who should do the housework, you should at least agree that housework needs more attention. That is the starting point. [15] X Research Source
Image titled Be a Gentleman Step 16

Image titled Be a Gentleman Step 16

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Discuss solutions. This step is probably the hardest part when it comes to coming up with mutually acceptable solutions. This means that the two of you agree on what is the main problem in your marriage and come up with ways that you both can work together to improve the relationship. Basically the two of you need to compromise. Blaming each other won’t help, as both have contributed to the situation. [16] X Research Source

  • Compromise means being open about what both of you need and want in a relationship. This step is important because the two of you can then determine what each side needs to reserve, and what the two sides can compromise. [17] X Research Source Compromising means making concessions when possible.
  • Specific solutions will work. For example, maybe you’ve identified that one of your main problems is not spending enough time together. The solution to this problem might be to both agree to go on a date once a week, in addition to trying to have lunch together at least three times a week.
  • Maybe the problem is partly financial. Sit down together and agree on a budget where you compromise on things that you both value. For example, if you are a thrifty person and want to save every penny, while your partner likes to enjoy lavish vacations, then the two of you should reconcile by arranging annual vacations each year. more casual vacation in terms of budget permitting.
  • Division of housework. Even a small thing can become a big problem if a person feels like he has to do all the housework. Talk openly about dividing the housework fairly and scheduling who does what and when.
Image titled Love Your Girlfriend Step 22

Image titled Love Your Girlfriend Step 22

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Learn to forgive. If you want to move on, you’ll have to forgive each other for the hurt you’ve caused. This doesn’t mean you have to completely forget everything that happened or even say it was nothing. That means you need to be aware of the hurt you’ve suffered. You need to know that the other person made a mistake, and that you both learn from it. In the end, you need to accept that it happened and you should keep moving forward. [18] X Research Sources

  • Most mistakes stem from needs that people want to be met. Being aware of that can help you learn from what happened. [19] X Research Source
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Image titled Love Your Girlfriend Step 23

Image titled Love Your Girlfriend Step 23

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Calculate what will happen in the future. Once problems and solutions have been identified, both need to formally commit to implementing those solutions. Solutions need to be specific and both acceptable. [20] X Trusted Source University of Missouri Extension Go to Source

  • If you find your solutions don’t work after a while, you can discuss them again and try another way. [21] X Trusted Source University of Missouri Extension Go to Source
Image titled Maintain Your Relationship After a Diabetes Diagnosis Step 5

Image titled Maintain Your Relationship After a Diabetes Diagnosis Step 5

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Don’t forget boundaries. Once you have a plan to move forward, don’t forget to set boundaries. Yes, you forgive each other for what happened, but you should also set limits so that those mistakes don’t happen again. [22] X Research Source

  • For example, if one of you cheated after going to a certain club, then obviously it makes sense to set a limit that the person shouldn’t go back there again. You can raise this issue by saying, “The past incident made me uncomfortable when you went to that club. If you insist on going there, that will be a barrier for me.”

Learn to love each other again

Image titled Convince Yourself That You're Happy Being Alone Step 12

Image titled Convince Yourself That You're Happy Being Alone Step 12

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Think about what brings you together. When your relationship is strained, you may forget why you two got together in the first place. Take some time to think about what made you like him or her in the first place. [23] X Research Sources

  • Maybe she’s always making you happy, or he’s always calling to see if you’re home safely. Think of all the little things that made you fall in love with the other person. One way to reminisce about the past is to look at old photos of the two of you together. [24] X Research Source
Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 17

Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 17

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Make sure both are open to change. If your main purpose is to protect yourself from suffering and anger, you will not be open to change. Then it seems that you want to control your partner to exercise that protection, which makes your relationship negative and confining. On the other hand, if you’re both willing to learn and progress together, your relationship will become more mature over time. If only one of them is willing to change, this goal may not be achieved. [25] X Research Sources
Image titled Be Single and Happy Step 12

Image titled Be Single and Happy Step 12

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Focus on the good things. Think about what you love about your partner. Take time each day to write down five things about the other person that you love or are grateful for. Try to turn that thought into words and actions by showing gratitude to the person. [26] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
Image titled Apply For a Marriage License in Cporado Step 7

Image titled Apply For a Marriage License in Cporado Step 7

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Understand each other’s love language. Each person experiences love in a unique way. Gary Chapman has broken down five ways people experience love, or five love languages. If you’ve never taken the time to learn each other’s love languages, now is the time to do so. You can find quizzes online to find out what your love language is. [27] X Research Source

  • The first love language is affirmations, which means you feel loved when you hear compliments. [28] X Research Sources
  • The second love language is service related, meaning you feel love when someone takes the time to help you with household chores. [29] X Research Sources
  • The third love language is gifts. It means that you feel loved when you receive emotional gifts from people close to you. [30] X Research Source
  • The fourth love language is time. With this love language, you feel loved if your partner spends time with you. [31] X Research Source
  • The ultimate love language is touch. In other words, you feel love if your partner shows affection by kissing you, holding you in his arms, or cuddling you. [32] X Research Source
Image titled Be More Family Oriented Step 13

Image titled Be More Family Oriented Step 13

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Apply the love language. When you interact with each other, you try to use the other person’s love language to show that you care. If your partner has a love language of service, try doing small things around the house, or taking her car to the wash to show you care. If your partner’s love language is time, then you should find a way to spend time with him/her regularly. [33] X Research Sources
Image titled Make Your Wife Happy Step 16

Image titled Make Your Wife Happy Step 16

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Take the time to connect with each other. Just like when you first met, you need to spend time together in your own world. You may think you know all about your partner, but people can still surprise you even after many years. Every day you should spend time talking and asking about his (or her) life, thoughts and feelings. [34] X Research Sources

  • One way to discover something new about your partner or lover is to try a class like cooking or dancing. The two of you will have new experiences together and rekindle the old flame of love.
Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 14

Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 14

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Enjoy the fun together. While your interests may change, you should still make time to do the things you both wanted to do together in the past. If you used to enjoy cooking Vietnamese dishes together, try returning to that hobby. If you used to practice long distance running before, but now you feel that your body is no longer the same as before, take up the challenge. With the determination to return to the things that inspired you before, you will rekindle the passions of the past. However, it doesn’t have to be something you both like. You can also try to find new hobbies. [35] X Research Source
Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 18

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Image titled Treat Your Girlfriend Step 18

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Body contact. Remember to connect through touch, not just sex. When you’re together, hold hands, caress, or hug. Touch her hand when you hear her talk. Rub his knees when you’re sitting next to each other. Touch is an important factor in maintaining intimacy, but over the years it can gradually fade away due to the mundane day-to-day routines. [36] X Research Source
Image titled Talk to Your Wife or Girlfriend about Oral Sex Step 20

Image titled Talk to Your Wife or Girlfriend about Oral Sex Step 20

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Maintain communication. Once you’ve started doing it this way, you might think that your problems can be fixed by just sitting down and talking once in a while. However, maintaining a relationship means constantly communicating with each other and talking about what’s going on and how you’re feeling. [37] X Research Source

  • Communication is especially important when you’re feeling angry and just want to talk to the other person. Instead of getting angry, stop for a moment and take a breath. Once you’ve calmed down, say why you’re upset and what to do now.

When should you try to mend?

Image titled Show a Woman That You Care Step 3

Image titled Show a Woman That You Care Step 3

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Try to save it while you’re still in love. You two had a reason to be together, and it was the seed of love that kept you together for so long. If love is still felt, then it’s well worth the effort to find ways to communicate and get along. Many love relationships go wrong at times. Repairing a relationship takes a lot of work, but it’s worth the effort if you know that there’s still room for that person in your heart.
Image titled Show a Woman That You Care Step 1

Image titled Show a Woman That You Care Step 1

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Consider healing if your “half” wants to. Maybe you’re the one who’s standing on the edge of wanting to let go of the relationship, but your partner or lover is trying to hold on. If the two of you have been together for a long time, it may be worth the effort to mend. You can see his love for you and will have faith that even though you are going through a difficult time right now, things will get better. Consider your options to see if it’s worth the effort for that person.
Image titled Communicate Effectively Step 25

Image titled Communicate Effectively Step 25

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Allow yourself to stop trying if you think it’s time. No matter how good things used to be, or how earnestly one party wants to continue the relationship, sometimes it’s clear that things have come to an end. If you’ve worked hard to save the relationship but you no longer feel the love, or are no longer determined to rekindle the flame of love, you may not need to force yourself to keep trying. Don’t drag on from month to year and blame yourself for not being able to handle it. It is normal to choose happiness without choosing to sacrifice. When one person is already indifferent in the relationship, ending is better for both.
  • Image titled Get a New Social Security Number Step 3

    Image titled Get a New Social Security Number Step 3

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    Don’t try to salvage a toxic or abusive relationship. There is really no way to mend a harmful and abusive relationship. No matter how much effort you put into using communication methods or trying to spark romance, you can’t make things better in the long run. You may feel like you have something to do with the relationship, but you get more out of it when you’re free.
  • Warning

    • Make sure that both parties are truly committed to the healing process. If only one side is willing then that person will be disappointed.
    X

    This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.

    There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 49,716 times.

    If you’re feeling jittery because your relationship is on the edge, it might be time to rethink and try to save it. When it comes to healing a relationship, the two of you need to sit together to figure out the problem or problems and find solutions to them. You also need to try to love each other again and reawaken the feeling you had before. See “When should you attempt to heal?” to know more when saving the relationship are steps in the right direction.

    Thank you for reading this post How to Save a Relationship at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.

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