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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,562 times.
If you and your partner have been together for a long time, you can sometimes feel so bored, stressed, and distracted that you no longer feel appreciated. If this happens, what you should do now is spend some time figuring out how to rekindle your current relationship. It’s important to remember why you love each other and recall some of the fun and romantic moments you both had when you first met. Connecting with him/her is important to both of you, and this can help you both feel that your life and love life become more harmonious.
Steps
Making a few small gestures can make a big impact
- Remember things from the day that made you feel funny and share them with him/her as soon as you get home.
- Find a funny TV show that makes you both laugh and plan a date to watch it together.
- “I love you”.
- “I admire you.”
- “I miss you”.
- “I’m sorry that things went awry today. Is there any way I can help you?”
- “I can’t wait to see you.”
- “I hate to see you like this. Can you do anything for me?”
- Go dancing.
- Organize a party.
- Go on beach.
- Go ice skating.
- Take a hot spring bath.
- Sing karaoke together.
- Take a cooking class together.
- If you and your partner both have a taste for movies, plan to go see a special movie just for the two of you in the evening, along with some of your favorite snacks.
- Surprise him/her with a small gift, such as a bouquet of flowers or a gift related to his/her hobby.
Rediscover the feeling of closeness
- Start a conversation about a book club that’s just for the two of you.
- Learn new things about each other by asking “How” and “What” questions. [5] X Research Source For example, you might ask “What does high school look like to you?” or “How did you feel leaving that school?” Asking open-ended questions will make the conversation simpler and more natural. And you should listen and engage with the other person’s feelings again with all your heart.
- Avoid criticizing the other person when he/she is not talking to you. Instead, try doing something positive, you can ask the other person to tell you about his/her work day after having dinner, enjoying a cup of coffee or sipping a glass of wine. . Try saying, “I’m really curious to know how you went through today. Sit down here and tell me.” [6] X Research Sources
- Be specific in each word. Instead of saying, “You look so pretty,” try saying, “I like this dress because it flatters your curves” or “I love looking at you when you’re wearing that shirt.”
- Or instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try complimenting him by saying, “I admire your understanding and the honest way you discuss matters.”
- For example, you and he or she developed feelings when you both have the same hobby of running, or share the same beliefs and ideals, or both have a common desire to help others.
- Make a list of all the things that made you fall in love with your current lover and ask him/her the same thing. Afterwards, the two of you should share this list together so that you can reconnect through reminiscing about when you first met.
- Hold hands and hug for a long time, especially if you both need to relax.
- If you often fall asleep while watching TV, consider taking your TV, laptop, and other electronic devices out of your bedroom. Create an atmosphere of intimacy by agreeing to say no to technology while in the bedroom together.
- Remember that you should only send messages when you are really comfortable. And you never feel pressured to send anything, even texting someone you love.
Apply the long-term method
- If you have been hurt in the past, don’t forget to heal it and appreciate your worth, knowing that you are worthy to give and receive love.
- Instead of avoiding sex because of low self-esteem, learn to accept yourself for who you are. If you’re thinking about changing your body shape (like losing weight), you should first understand that your ideal weight won’t make you feel more confident. And whether you are comfortable with yourself or not, that depends on how you see it.
- There’s nothing wrong with going to a counselor and asking for help. It can even be helpful in helping the two of you find ways to bond and be closer to each other.
- Occasionally hang out with your friends in the evening or spend the weekend going to a relaxing spa.
- The temporary separation of the two of you will stir up the relationship, thereby increasing the feeling of anticipation and excitement when being reunited.
- Don’t overlook activities and hobbies that you indulge in while you’re in love. Keep painting, dancing, or going to the gym, even if your partner isn’t participating.
- You can go backpacking or camping to enjoy the great outdoors or plan a luxurious stay at a luxury resort. Traveling abroad can be an unforgettable experience for both of you!
- If you have young children, you should try to spend at least one vacation each year together without them. [15] X Research Source
Maintain love
- You can practice listening and responding by saying, “I heard you say there is something really stressful between you and your parents” or, “You seem to be under stress from work.”
- Manage your time properly to avoid stress caused by rushing to complete tasks on time. Whenever you are assigned a task, you should focus on solving it instead of having them piled up, and use the planner to keep track of the assigned tasks.
- Spend more time doing what you enjoy. Life is not meant to be just work without entertainment. Therefore, it is essential to spend at least one day a week doing what you are passionate about.
- Train together for a sporting event, like a triathlon.
- Learn a new language together, then visit that country to practice speaking.
- Build something together, like build a boat, build a shed, or design a garden.
- Learn to climb mountains, skydive or paraglider.
- Plan a backpacking trip together.
- Take a cooking class with natural and wild ingredients.
- Try to join a spiritual practice class together. If you and your partner share the same beliefs, you can take classes together. If not, perhaps the two of you should explore each other’s beliefs together. Participating in a spiritual practice class can help rekindle the flame of love. [20] X Research Source
- Consider volunteering. Volunteering with him or her can also help you get out of your shell and bond with the experience of helping others. Try volunteering at a local food bank or animal shelter.
- Raise money together to raise money for charities. You and your partner can also change your focus by working towards your charity’s financial goals. Think about helping a charity or participating in a fundraising run (5 km) with your partner.
Advice
- Trying to renew your feelings for someone you really love is a good one. However, that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to stay in an unworthy and long cooled relationship. If you yourself feel tired and dissatisfied with your current relationship, consider whether the other person is the best choice, or things will become more harmonious if you find someone else. .
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 17 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,562 times.
If you and your partner have been together for a long time, you can sometimes feel so bored, stressed, and distracted that you no longer feel appreciated. If this happens, what you should do now is spend some time figuring out how to rekindle your current relationship. It’s important to remember why you love each other and recall some of the fun and romantic moments you both had when you first met. Connecting with him/her is important to both of you, and this can help you both feel that your life and love life become more harmonious.
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