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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 101,551 times.
No one wants to be called selfish by others. Selfish people only care about their own interests and do not care about others. [1] X Research Source We all like to think of ourselves as empathetic and compassionate human beings who respect the feelings of others as well as our own. However, we often get caught up in the habit of taking care of ourselves and forgetting about those around us. If you recognize the qualities that characterize a selfish person, you can change your habits and ways of thinking to be more respectful of the needs and feelings of others.
Steps
Determine If You Are Selfish
- Who talks the most?
- Who tends to “lead” or dominate the conversation?
- What information have you gathered about the other party?
- Do you ask any questions about your partner that are unrelated to your life or experiences?
- Do you hear what they say and how they say it? Did she tell you anything new that you didn’t know? Do you ask questions, nod or acknowledge what she has to say to prolong the story? If she was sad, would you notice? If so, how long did it take you to realize she was upset? [3] X Research Sources
- Another sign of selfishness is being too focused on proving yourself right, or trying to win an argument, rather than empathizing with the other person’s situation or point of view. [4] X Research Sources
- If you feel tired or drained after talking, or feel unhappy or sulky as if you’ve just “lost” the talk, that’s a sign of selfishness.
- If you regularly upset others with your behavior and ignore their feelings, then you need to examine yourself to build empathy for them and be less concerned with yourself.
- How often do you remix what you’ve said, remember how many times you’ve made people laugh, or think about someone you’ve been drawn to? These are the qualities of selfishness.
- If generational differences aside, no one wants to associate with someone who only cares about themselves or ignores the interests of others. You need to learn how to behave to show that you also think and care for others, that is not necessarily inherent but can be trained, and it is never too late to change your behavior. me.
Abandon Selfish Behavior
- Compliments should be just an “additional” to make you happier and more motivated, it can’t be expected to be achieved.
- For example, if you feel angry, frustrated, or infuriated because someone is trying to disobey you, even if it’s a co-worker working on a project and you don’t like the new idea he’s giving you. In fact, it is your ego that is hindering your progress.
- Review your work schedule. If you tend to forget those events, and also don’t remember appointments or meetings, it could be due to a messy personality that doesn’t know how to organize work. Or if you have Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, the forgetfulness may be rooted in that illness, not selfishness.
- The same is true of male-female relationships. If you don’t like dating someone who’s superior to you, it could be because you’re afraid other people won’t notice you.
- Selfish people are very uncomfortable when mistreated, even though they are often cold to others without even realizing their hypocrisy. If you want to be treated like that, then treat others like that, that’s how you build good social relationships and create a positive image in the eyes of others.
Caring for Everyone
- “What did I do to make the talk more than just about myself or personal interests?”
- “What information do I know about the other person, how are their feelings, what is their life situation?”
- In work situations, you can ask your colleagues directly how to complete a project. In this case, you must pay attention to her suggestions, not force her to accept your ideas. [15] X Research Source
- Apologize sincerely. What you say is not as important as how much you truly feel sorry for and sympathize with them. [16] X Research Source If you’re not used to apologizing or showing empathy to others, an apology may sound a little strange, but that’s okay. You will gradually get used to it and the chances of having to apologize will also decrease over time.
- This habit will make the speaker realize you are listening and respect them. Don’t stick to a rigid point of view before the talk, but let the other person’s point of view and ideas convince you. Listen attentively so you can summarize the story and understand how they feel in the situation. [18] X Research Sources
- Don’t just say that you support or care for them, but show it through your actions. This includes not only listening, but also trying to do something to promote their opinion. [21] X Research Source For example, you could ask her for advice on a big purchase you’re considering, asking for advice from others will make them feel more valued.
- Make sure you value friendship for what it is, not for the benefits it can bring. Stop taking advantage of people or taking advantage of activities for personal purposes.
- The key in the concept of self-love is finding balance. If you have compassion for yourself as well as for those around you, you will not be seen as selfish.
Advice
- Read books on self-esteem, anger management, and how to be patient. Remember there are many resources available for your reference.
- If people say you’re selfish, don’t simply think of them as rude, jealous, and dismissive. You can hurt them, so see it as how they want you to stop, not to insult you.
- Show respect and empathy for the speaker’s thoughts or opinions. If that opinion does not match your point of view, gently and delicately explain to them what is right and what is wrong.
Warning
- Don’t be surprised if other people intentionally distance themselves from you and don’t want to appear in the places you go. This is normal behavior because unselfish people know they can’t change who you are. Take their absence as a sign that your selfishness is too much to bear.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 101,551 times.
No one wants to be called selfish by others. Selfish people only care about their own interests and do not care about others. [1] X Research Source We all like to think of ourselves as empathetic and compassionate human beings who respect the feelings of others as well as our own. However, we often get caught up in the habit of taking care of ourselves and forgetting about those around us. If you recognize the qualities that characterize a selfish person, you can change your habits and ways of thinking to be more respectful of the needs and feelings of others.
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