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How to Recognize Selfishness

February 17, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Recognize Selfishness  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 101,551 times.

No one wants to be called selfish by others. Selfish people only care about their own interests and do not care about others. [1] X Research Source We all like to think of ourselves as empathetic and compassionate human beings who respect the feelings of others as well as our own. However, we often get caught up in the habit of taking care of ourselves and forgetting about those around us. If you recognize the qualities that characterize a selfish person, you can change your habits and ways of thinking to be more respectful of the needs and feelings of others.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Determine If You Are Selfish
    • Abandon Selfish Behavior
    • Caring for Everyone
  • Advice
  • Warning

Steps

Determine If You Are Selfish

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Review the talks. Selfishness is most often revealed when interacting with people around. If you pay more attention to the nature and happenings of your conversations with others, you may be able to see if you’re being selfish. After talking, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Who talks the most?
  • Who tends to “lead” or dominate the conversation?
  • What information have you gathered about the other party?
  • Do you ask any questions about your partner that are unrelated to your life or experiences?
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Assess listening skills. [2] X Trusted Source University of Missouri Extension Go to Source Selfish people tend to push talk about themselves. If you are a selfish person, you will not appear to listen to what others have to say. Assess whether you are a good listener, participating in other people’s problems, instead of just waiting for a pause to steer the topic towards your own.

  • Do you hear what they say and how they say it? Did she tell you anything new that you didn’t know? Do you ask questions, nod or acknowledge what she has to say to prolong the story? If she was sad, would you notice? If so, how long did it take you to realize she was upset? [3] X Research Sources
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Pay attention to your feelings after interacting with others. Do you feel like the talk is like a competition? Do you have to fight for time to speak, or do you have to interrupt or overwhelm others to make your point? Do you feel the need to make your story more intense than someone else’s? This could be a sign of selfishness.

  • Another sign of selfishness is being too focused on proving yourself right, or trying to win an argument, rather than empathizing with the other person’s situation or point of view. [4] X Research Sources
  • If you feel tired or drained after talking, or feel unhappy or sulky as if you’ve just “lost” the talk, that’s a sign of selfishness.
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Think about how much time you spend caring about other people’s feelings. A classic sign of selfishness is not being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. [5] X Research Sources If you rarely think about how your friends or loved ones are feeling, it also shows that you are selfish. Of course everyone needs to feel happy and satisfied, that’s completely normal, but you should never ignore or ignore other people (especially your loved ones).

  • If you regularly upset others with your behavior and ignore their feelings, then you need to examine yourself to build empathy for them and be less concerned with yourself.
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Do you spend too much time in social gatherings and social gatherings wondering what other people think of you? Selfish people often want to be attractive, attractive, likable or outstanding after socializing with others. It can be a sign of selfishness if you often end up in conversations thinking you’ve come off as clever or wonderful, without giving a second thought to the other person.

  • How often do you remix what you’ve said, remember how many times you’ve made people laugh, or think about someone you’ve been drawn to? These are the qualities of selfishness.
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Evaluate your response to constructive criticism or feedback. [6] X Research Sources Selfish people have a tendency to distrust or reject the opinions of others. While the general idea is not to let unsolicited contributions get in your way, you will ruin your work and personal relationships if you never listen to or respect the opinions of others. Pay attention to your reactions to the other person’s responses, assessing whether they are defensive or angry instead of trying to accept the other person’s point of view.
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Do you often blame others when things go wrong. If you forget to pay your bills or if a project can’t be completed on time, do you automatically blame everyone? [7] X Source of Research If that’s a natural reaction then you are probably selfish and you really believe you can’t make mistakes or make mistakes. [8] X Research Sources
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Consider the age difference. Studies show that today’s youth are more selfish than previous generations. [9] X Source of Research[10] X Source of Research Generation of people born between 1980 and 2000, that was a time when the world was facing many crises and it had a profound impact on their lives their. Today’s selfish behavior may be a way for them to cope with difficulties.

  • If generational differences aside, no one wants to associate with someone who only cares about themselves or ignores the interests of others. You need to learn how to behave to show that you also think and care for others, that is not necessarily inherent but can be trained, and it is never too late to change your behavior. me.

Abandon Selfish Behavior

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Don’t expect to be praised. Selfish people often want to be praised by others. So if you not only like them but also live for them, then you are being selfish. It’s perfectly normal to see compliments as a pleasant surprise, but if it feels like they owe you a compliment just because you’re awesome, that’s selfishness.

  • Compliments should be just an “additional” to make you happier and more motivated, it can’t be expected to be achieved.
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Be flexible in how you deal with work. If you find it difficult to accept other ways of working at work, it shows that you believe you are the only one who knows how to do it. Whether it’s planning a project or hosting a school dance, if you think you know what you need to do and don’t like people taking the reins, that’s a sign you need to be more flexible. solution. You may hate feeling untrustworthy for certain jobs, or having a hard time accepting others as right, but if you can do that, you’ll become a more open person.

  • For example, if you feel angry, frustrated, or infuriated because someone is trying to disobey you, even if it’s a co-worker working on a project and you don’t like the new idea he’s giving you. In fact, it is your ego that is hindering your progress.
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Get rid of the habit of being jealous when others are complimented. [11] X Research Sources Selfish people find it difficult to feel happy for others when they are praised. If someone among the people you know is rewarded, like a brother or sister being praised for getting a good grade or your colleague successfully finishing a project, you will naturally feel happy. for them. Conversely, if you feel jealous, angry, or confused because you don’t understand why you’re not being praised, then you need to examine your selfishness.
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Do you remember birthdays, important times or important events in other people’s lives. If you often forget other people’s birthdays, graduations, inaugurations, or other important events, but expect them to remember yours, it’s because you’re too focused on yourself. Of course we all have those moments of forgetfulness, but if it happens frequently it is a sign of selfishness.

  • Review your work schedule. If you tend to forget those events, and also don’t remember appointments or meetings, it could be due to a messy personality that doesn’t know how to organize work. Or if you have Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, the forgetfulness may be rooted in that illness, not selfishness.
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Make friends with people with different personalities. [12] X Research Sources Selfish people do not like to be friends with friendly people who speak loudly or have many friends. They don’t want to have to compete for attention and therefore want to be alone in the spotlight. Selfish people don’t like to be around someone who is prettier or more attractive, so they make friends with quiet or shy people who can be the center of the show. If you find you have this tendency, you should try to befriend a variety of people. You should spend time socializing with both sociable and closed-minded people, need to learn how to interact with different types of people.

  • The same is true of male-female relationships. If you don’t like dating someone who’s superior to you, it could be because you’re afraid other people won’t notice you.
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Be kind to everyone. Selfish people tend to be rude to others because of their disdain. If you talk curtly to waitresses, are rude to co-workers, or show up an hour late to dinner dates with friends, it’s a signal that they don’t deserve your attention. waste of time. Even if it wasn’t your intention, this behavior makes you seem more selfish and only interested in yourself.

  • Selfish people are very uncomfortable when mistreated, even though they are often cold to others without even realizing their hypocrisy. If you want to be treated like that, then treat others like that, that’s how you build good social relationships and create a positive image in the eyes of others.

Caring for Everyone

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Be more attentive. Most of us are not aware that we are indifferent to other people and their feelings. You can overcome this weakness by reviewing your behavior and observing yourself. [13] X Research Resources Once you are aware of your behaviors, you can tailor them to better, and to do that you need to ask yourself the following questions after each meeting with someone. friend:

  • “What did I do to make the talk more than just about myself or personal interests?”
  • “What information do I know about the other person, how are their feelings, what is their life situation?”
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Start asking questions every time you socialize or meet with other people. Asking other people questions demonstrates that you are actively participating in their story. If you’re talking to a friend or acquaintance, ask them how they feel about the situation, how they achieved a goal or completed a difficult task. People love knowing they are being cared for, learning about how to handle life situations. You might be surprised at how much information they get from them if you know how to ask open-ended questions and put them in the right place. [14] X Research Source

  • In work situations, you can ask your colleagues directly how to complete a project. In this case, you must pay attention to her suggestions, not force her to accept your ideas. [15] X Research Source
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Apologize for hurting others. Selfish people often don’t care that they’re hurting others, in part because they don’t care about the feelings of their listeners. If you’re trying to correct your selfishness, put yourself in your listener’s shoes and apologize if you’ve done something to upset them.

  • Apologize sincerely. What you say is not as important as how much you truly feel sorry for and sympathize with them. [16] X Research Source If you’re not used to apologizing or showing empathy to others, an apology may sound a little strange, but that’s okay. You will gradually get used to it and the chances of having to apologize will also decrease over time.
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Pay attention to the conversation. Be careful not to interrupt to talk about your experience before the other person has finished their part. Listen to what they have to say and build on that story, even if you don’t have the opportunity to contribute your own story. You should listen attentively to be able to repeat the problem, remember their important words. [17] X Research Source

  • This habit will make the speaker realize you are listening and respect them. Don’t stick to a rigid point of view before the talk, but let the other person’s point of view and ideas convince you. Listen attentively so you can summarize the story and understand how they feel in the situation. [18] X Research Sources
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Really care about others. [19] X Research Source Start thinking about and caring for your friends even if you’re not with them. If someone you know is going through a tough time, send her a text or do something nice to show her you’re still thinking about them. Remember what they said when they last met, and then continue to ask or comment on the matter. Try doing small things that show you care. For example, pick up the phone and ask to show that you care about the problem that’s bothering them, or vice versa. [20] X Research Source

  • Don’t just say that you support or care for them, but show it through your actions. This includes not only listening, but also trying to do something to promote their opinion. [21] X Research Source For example, you could ask her for advice on a big purchase you’re considering, asking for advice from others will make them feel more valued.
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Do something for others. Stop thinking about yourself and do good to those in need. You might consider volunteering for a charity or a free food service. Practice doing things that don’t need to be reciprocated, this is a way to build empathy, as well as concern for those around you. [22] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source

  • Make sure you value friendship for what it is, not for the benefits it can bring. Stop taking advantage of people or taking advantage of activities for personal purposes.
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    Maintain the right level of self-esteem and self-esteem. The line between self-love and selfishness is difficult to define. [23] X Research Source You really need to love and acknowledge your ego and make sure others listen to what you have to say. Self-esteem helps others respect you and prevents you from getting hurt, but that doesn’t mean you can take advantage of others.

    • The key in the concept of self-love is finding balance. If you have compassion for yourself as well as for those around you, you will not be seen as selfish.
  • Advice

    • Read books on self-esteem, anger management, and how to be patient. Remember there are many resources available for your reference.
    • If people say you’re selfish, don’t simply think of them as rude, jealous, and dismissive. You can hurt them, so see it as how they want you to stop, not to insult you.
    • Show respect and empathy for the speaker’s thoughts or opinions. If that opinion does not match your point of view, gently and delicately explain to them what is right and what is wrong.

    Warning

    • Don’t be surprised if other people intentionally distance themselves from you and don’t want to appear in the places you go. This is normal behavior because unselfish people know they can’t change who you are. Take their absence as a sign that your selfishness is too much to bear.
    X

    This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 101,551 times.

    No one wants to be called selfish by others. Selfish people only care about their own interests and do not care about others. [1] X Research Source We all like to think of ourselves as empathetic and compassionate human beings who respect the feelings of others as well as our own. However, we often get caught up in the habit of taking care of ourselves and forgetting about those around us. If you recognize the qualities that characterize a selfish person, you can change your habits and ways of thinking to be more respectful of the needs and feelings of others.

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