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Having friends is an essential part of our lives, providing support, companionship, and enjoyable moments. However, not all friendships are built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Just like the impact of a good friend can be profound and positive, a bad friend can have detrimental effects on our well-being, self-esteem, and overall happiness. Whether intentional or not, a bad friend can drain your energy, manipulate your emotions, and hinder your personal growth. In order to maintain healthy relationships and protect yourself from toxic influences, it is crucial to recognize the signs of a bad friend. This guide will explore the key indicators to help you identify and evaluate the quality of your friendships, enabling you to make informed decisions about who deserves a place in your life.
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If your gut tells you that something is wrong with your friendship with someone, then you are probably dealing with a bad friend. Pay attention to how you feel after being around this friend. Ask yourself if they are trustworthy, supportive, and kind to you. If not, you may need to talk to them and decide whether to continue the friendship. Remember that it is completely possible to end a relationship that is unhealthy and exhausts you!
Steps
Friendship Rating
- A good friend will ask about you and your life at the beginning of the conversation. A true friendship must be reciprocal, meaning that both partners share about themselves and receive encouragement from the other.
- Maybe the friend doesn’t even realize that they’re behaving unintentionally! Try gently reminding her the next time this happens again. You can say something like “I really wanted to tell you about my story last week, but I feel like you want to talk about other things” and see how they respond.
- You should also notice how this friend talks about their other friends. Do they tell you all the secrets of other people? If they can’t keep secrets or enjoy gossiping about other people, chances are they’re doing the same thing behind your back.
- Only hang out with friends when they need a ride somewhere.
- Time and time again borrow money from friends every time you go out to play but never pay.
- Asking you to lie to their parents and hide when they do something.
- Only be with you when you are with certain people.
- Going out with friends because their other plans got cancelled.
- Forcing you to do things you don’t want to do.
- For example, when you hear your friend confide that you want to audition for the volleyball team, your friend will say, “Do you really think so? You don’t have a good figure but your height is so short, how can you be recruited?” This is not a supportive attitude. A good friend will encourage you, even offering to help you practice for the entrance exam.
- Good friends can be jealous too – it’s a natural part of human nature! But if they can’t put this emotion aside and are happy for you, this is a sign that your “friend” is not the best person to share the good news with.
- Similarly, if that friend is constantly pointing out the negative aspects of the situation when you receive good things, then they are intentionally making you unhappy.
Try this: The next time that friend has a confused reaction to your funny story, say, “Listening to you, I feel like you’re not happy for me,” then shut up and wait to see how they respond. . Maybe they realize their bad attitude and apologize to you.
- On the other hand, notice how your friend reacts when you have a lover. Do they give you space to cultivate love, or are they jealous and clingy? Do they try to make you feel guilty and spend more time with them?
- Remember that true friendships take time to develop. If a new friend insists on knowing everything about you right away to get closer to them, back off.
- Pay special attention to friends who often give you big gifts after an argument or disagreement with you. They’re trying to distract you from the real problem and get you in your favor instead of actually solving the problem.
- The things you usually say to others about that friend are another clue. If you complain about them all the time, even if you just want to, it signals that something is wrong.
Set healthy boundaries
- The way a person reacts to you sharing your feelings tells you a lot about that person’s personality. A sincere friend will apologize and correct. People who only think about themselves will find ways to blame you for their behavior.
- Standing up for yourself takes a lot of courage, so it’s only natural that you’re worried!
- For example, when you say that you don’t like taking advantage of your parents’ absence to have a party at home, the friend should respect this and not try to make you feel guilty but indulge them.
- Be polite when saying no, and remember that this doesn’t make you a bad friend. You can also explain why so they get to know you better.
- Avoid using phrases like “you always,” or “you never.” Say sentences with the subject of yourself, such as “I feel like you don’t want to talk to me because you haven’t replied to my messages lately” or “I feel sad because you talk to people.” different about me, making me feel like I can’t share anything with you.”
- Don’t actively plan. Don’t text or call. Say you have other plans when they ask you out, but remember to be tactful and not overdo it.
- You might say that you’re busy with school projects, have a lot of work at home, or that you’re not feeling well and need a break.
- You can still be friendly with that person. Instead of ignoring them, politely greet them when you see them, and don’t talk to others about them. Unless you’re in a dangerous situation, you don’t have to pretend they don’t exist.
- Who knows, after a few months of being no longer close, you and that friend rekindled their friendship.
Tip: It’s natural to feel lost when friendships end or change, but trust that, with time, you’ll return to who you were.
- Try to be as direct and frank as possible. For example, you could say, “I don’t think we should hang out anymore. There’s something wrong with our friendship, so it’s best that we see each other less often.”
- Wait for them to respond to your words. It’s normal for your friend to have some feelings. You can keep your point of view and still listen to them and close the conversation.
Advice
- Never gossip about that friend, no matter how tempting it may be. This behavior will also make you a bad friend.
This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
This article has been viewed 90,237 times.
If your gut tells you that something is wrong with your friendship with someone, then you are probably dealing with a bad friend. Pay attention to how you feel after being around this friend. Ask yourself if they are trustworthy, supportive, and kind to you. If not, you may need to talk to them and decide whether to continue the friendship. Remember that it is completely possible to end a relationship that is unhealthy and exhausts you!
In conclusion, recognizing a bad friend is crucial for maintaining a healthy and positive social circle. By paying attention to certain indicators such as their lack of support, dishonesty, selfishness, or constant negativity, one can identify a friend who may not have their best interests at heart. It is important to trust one’s instincts and not ignore red flags or brush off concerning behaviors. While it can be difficult to confront the truth about a bad friend, doing so can lead to personal growth, increased happiness, and the opportunity to cultivate meaningful connections with others who genuinely care. Remember, surrounding oneself with true and supportive friends is essential for overall well-being and happiness.
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