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How to Propose to a Boyfriend

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Thinking about how to propose to your boyfriend can be a daunting task. But don’t worry! Here are the steps you can take to plan the perfect proposal with your boyfriend.

Decide on the basics

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 6

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 6

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Make sure he’s ready to get married. Before deciding to propose, you need to make sure that both of you have discussed marriage. Sure, you want to surprise your boyfriend, but at least you need to be confident that he wants to get married. You can suggest marriage in your conversations to consider whether you should propose. [1]

  • You can always say without insinuation. For example: “Do you think we will get married in the future?”
  • When you talk to him about marriage, bring up the proposal. For example, “Do you like the formal proposal?” Many couples enjoy being together as an engaged couple.
  • Ask a close friend of his if your boyfriend ever talks about getting married.
Image titled See if He's the One Step 9

Image titled See if He's the One Step 9

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Find out what his dream engagement ceremony will look like. Does he like that you suddenly ask him out, or does he want to discuss it first? Feel free to bring this up for quite a while before you actually propose so you both understand each other.

  • You might say, “What do you imagine the engagement scene would be like?” or “Do you know any impressive friends’ engagement stories?”
  • If he doesn’t seem to like the traditional surprise engagement, think of ways you can both mark the occasion together. For example, he may want you both to take out an engagement ring and give it to each other.
Image titled Tell if a Guy Likes You More Than a Friend Step 15

Image titled Tell if a Guy Likes You More Than a Friend Step 15

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A little variation for the proposal he wants. Think about what your boyfriend would like in a proposal. Maybe he’s mentioned this before. Try to respect his will, but you should change it up a bit. Thus, your proposal still retains the surprise but also adds interesting colors. This is great if your proposal isn’t completely unexpected, like if you’ve been planning on getting engaged for a while, he’ll probably guess your intentions too. [2]

  • For example, maybe your boyfriend has always dreamed of an engagement that took place on a romantic vacation. So, you can ask him out, but don’t propose during the trip. Say it on the plane on the way there.
  • Maybe your boyfriend asked you to marry him in the coffee shop where you first met. Instead of simply inviting him over, surprise him by having a group of friends stand ready to greet you both with a sign that says “Shall we get married?”
Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 3

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 3

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Choose a location. First, you need to consider where to propose. Think about what your boyfriend likes and find a place that means something to both of you. Is there a place that has been or still feels special to you and your guy? [3] You can also describe your boyfriend in one word to find a suitable place for him, such as wanderer, adventurer, muse, philosopher, etc. This will help narrow down the selection so you can determine where it really makes sense to him.

  • Does your lover prefer public or private marriage proposals? If he wants some privacy, you should choose a special place to say it without prying eyes. You can propose at home with a room decorated with candles or pictures of you and the guy. You can also go with him to a secluded spot, like a low-traffic trail you met on a hiking trip.
  • If he doesn’t mind proposing in public, think about public areas that you both enjoy. You can propose to him in the coffee shop where you two had your first date. If he’s always dreamed of proposing in front of friends and family, ask him out at a crowded dinner party.
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Image titled Tell a Guy You Like Him Step 16

Image titled Tell a Guy You Like Him Step 16

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Choose the right time. Think about important dates. You can choose a date that is meaningful to both of you, such as his birthday or your anniversary. You can also choose a convenient date for your plans later. For example, if you want to get engaged before his cousin’s wedding in March, consider proposing sometime in January or February. [4]

  • Try to choose a unique date if you want to leave something memorable. Instead of choosing an anniversary date, choose another meaningful date. For example, propose to him on the anniversary of you both adopting a kitten.
Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 1

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 1

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Consider whether you need a ring. Does your guy like engagement rings? A lot of people don’t wear rings when they propose these days, but if you think your lover likes engagement rings, look for a ring that fits his hand. [5]

  • Instead of an engagement ring, many people choose another object to represent their marriage proposal. You can give him another piece of jewelry, such as a watch or a gift to mark the occasion. If you can think of a meaningful gift he’ll appreciate, all the better – an instrument he’s always dreamed of.
  • You can use that gift to ask. For example, stick a piece of paper that says “Marry me?” on the guitar you bought him.

Dealing with complaints

Image titled Gain Fat Step 5

Image titled Gain Fat Step 5

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Think about how your partner views tradition. Usually the man will be the one to give the ring and propose. Many people still think that men will propose when they are ready and women should wait, and that it is not a good idea to “find a buffalo”. [6] If you’re a woman and you propose to a man, you’re more or less breaking tradition. Consider whether he’ll think anything of it if you take the initiative.

  • Many women fear that doing so will sound like they’re taking over their boyfriend’s power or forcing him to make decisions too soon, but if your partner is really ready to get married and doesn’t care much about the Traditionally, this probably doesn’t matter.
  • However, if your boyfriend or his family values tradition more, you should talk about it. Ask him what he thinks about women proposing to see how he reacts. You can also look at your boyfriend’s attitudes about gender roles and guess if he has a more traditional view of proposing or is more open-minded.
Image titled Lucid Dream Step 1

Image titled Lucid Dream Step 1

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Think of ways to change the routine if necessary. An engagement ceremony usually follows the usual convention: The boy proposes to the girl, usually with a ring. [7] If you are a same-sex couple or if you are a girl who is proposing, you will not need to follow traditional rituals and customs. Think about how you should improvise accordingly.

  • There is nothing wrong with buying engagement rings for men. You can pick a ring he likes and follow the tradition of getting on one knee to propose and exchange rings. However, there are also guys who don’t like jewelry. You can choose something else to give him or just ask him out without any engagement.
  • One of the benefits of a non-traditional proposal is that it has fewer expectations. See this as a positive instead of a negative. You are telling your own story and can propose however you like.
Image titled Be Happy Step 7

Image titled Be Happy Step 7

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Understand that you may be a little stressed out. Almost everyone gets nervous before proposing, let alone breaking tradition here. Be prepared that you will be a little nervous. Remind yourself of why you decided to do this to stay calm. [8]

  • If you’re worried about your boyfriend’s family, tell yourself how happy you and him will be after you propose. It is worth mentioning that the two of you have decided to spend the rest of your life together, and when you are alone together enjoying the moment of your engagement, there is no room for judgment or disagreement. [9]
  • Rehearse several times what you want to say until you know it by heart, and remember not to hold your breath when you say the proposal.
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Image titled Get a Girl to Fall in Love with You Step 25

Image titled Get a Girl to Fall in Love with You Step 25

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Be prepared for people’s reactions. Any marriage proposal can receive many different reactions of the people around. With a non-traditional proposal, you have to be prepared for even more possibilities. Someone is shocked to see you propose to your boyfriend; Others will applaud because you dared to break the rut. When you decide to announce your engagement, be prepared to hear all kinds of comments. [10]

  • People often talk more about non-traditional marriage proposals. While there are some positive comments as many people enjoy seeing others break with tradition, there are also comments that are insinuating and judgmental. You need to remember that you have made the right decision for you and the person you love.
  • Some comments can be offensive. For example, if the two of you are a same-sex couple, one might think that the suitor is more dominant or more masculine. You can completely edit harsh words. For example: “My boyfriend and I are an equal couple. I just came up with the idea to propose before him.”
  • Prepare in advance what you will say when there are hurtful comments. That way, you’ll feel more confident when you hear someone say something that upsets you. Also, don’t forget that you don’t have to explain to anyone. You can ignore rude comments or simply respond briefly.
Image titled Kiss a Boy for the First Time Step 12

Image titled Kiss a Boy for the First Time Step 12

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Understand that the decision is yours. Remember that you decided to propose because of your relationship. No matter what outsiders say, you did the right thing for you and your boyfriend. You and the guy will be happy and live together for the rest of your life. That’s what’s important, not the whispers of others. [11]

Successful proposal

Image titled Tell a Guy You Love Him Step 2

Image titled Tell a Guy You Love Him Step 2

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Set the scene. Think about the space you want to propose. Share your ideas with a friend to make sure you don’t leave anything out. You can also ask your friends to help you with the proposal. If you can control everything around you, be as thoughtful as possible. Don’t forget that you can’t control everything, but you can arrange a lot to make it look exactly like you envisioned. [12]

  • If you’re proposing at home, setting the scene is pretty straightforward. You can dim the lights and light some candles or decorate the room with pictures of you and the guy.
  • If you propose in public, it will be harder to control the space, but there are still things you can do to create the scene you want. If you’re planning to propose on a hiking trip, set out at some point of the day to reach your destination by sunset. If you’re planning to propose at a restaurant or coffee shop, you can try to choose a table that’s conveniently located.
Image titled Tell a Guy You Love Him Step 3

Image titled Tell a Guy You Love Him Step 3

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Give him a ring or betrothal, if you’re prepared. If you’re going to propose with a ring or betrothal, think about how to give it to him. You can hide the ring in your pocket or purse and take it out of the box when you’re ready. At a restaurant or coffee shop, you can ask the waiter to bring you a drink or dish. Other items can be given in other creative ways, depending on what the item is. [13]

  • For example, if you buy your boyfriend an elegant watch as a proposal, ask him to close his eyes and put it on his wrist.
  • If you’re going to propose with a ring, think of a fun way to give it to your boyfriend. For example, you can leave cue signs around the house to lead him to the ring.
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Image titled Kiss a Boy for the First Time Step 11

Image titled Kiss a Boy for the First Time Step 11

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Say a prayer. You can do this simply. Look him in the eye and tell him how much you love and appreciate him, then say “Will you marry me?” [14]

  • Many people prefer to propose by letter. You can write a short love letter and give it to him. Write the words “Will you marry me?” at the end of the letter.
Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 4

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 4

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Be polite when rejected. Sometimes things don’t go as you planned. If your boyfriend refuses, don’t think that the relationship between you two is over. There are many reasons people don’t want to get married, some of which may be rooted in practical concerns. For example, maybe your boyfriend wants to wait until the two of you are financially stable before getting married. If he refuses, calmly talk to him and find a way out. [15]

  • Note that you don’t have to make everything clear right away. You can take some time for yourself to relax, but don’t forget to talk afterwards.
  • Remember, he’d rather marry you when he’s ready than nod just to make you happy. It’s best to let your boyfriend think twice to make sure that’s what he wants.

Keep the plan a secret

Image titled Help a Depressed Boyfriend Step 13

Image titled Help a Depressed Boyfriend Step 13

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Share with a few close friends. Outside support can sometimes help. This is even more important if you need someone to help, like getting your boyfriend to the right place at the right time. However, if you want to keep surprises, limit the number of people you reveal your plans to. Only tell a few close friends who you believe know how to keep secrets. [16]
Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 2Bullet3

Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 2Bullet3

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Distract him. In the weeks leading up to your proposal, distract your boyfriend so he won’t get suspicious. Find a way to keep him busy so he doesn’t realize you’re “scheming” something. [17]

  • Try to encourage him to try new activities. You can even join him, if it doesn’t get in the way of your plans. For example, sign up for a cooking class or start a new exercise program.
  • Get your friends to help. Ask those friends to ask your boyfriend out more in the weeks before the big day.
Image titled Not Be Shy Step 11

Image titled Not Be Shy Step 11

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Have your reasons ready. Your boyfriend may be suspicious of something. Come up with some stories to quell his suspicions. Think of an explanation for your strange behavior. If you’re shopping for rings, for example, ask your friends to tell you that they asked you to go shopping. [18]
  • Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 11

    Image titled Propose to Your Boyfriend Step 11

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    Don’t plan too long. Try to limit your event planning time. The longer it goes on, the more suspicious your boyfriend becomes. Try to prepare within a week or two before you propose to avoid stress. Proposing should be a fun event to be a good memory of your relationship. [19]

    • Thinking about how to propose to your boyfriend can be a daunting task. But don’t worry! Here are the steps you can take to plan the perfect proposal with your boyfriend.

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