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This article was co-written by Wits End Parenting. Wits End Parenting is a parenting company based in Berkeley, California that works with children with mood swings, emotional difficulties, listening difficulties, and aggressive attitudes. Wits End Parenting experts use a positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s personality, providing lasting results, eliminating the need to devise new strategies for educating parents. their children.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 40,057 times.
Parents and caregivers of young children will have many questions about how best to help children practice discipline. “Discipline” is different from “punishment” – discipline training for young children includes a variety of activities related to a child’s developmental stage and helps children think for themselves and actively change habits. Today, we know more about children’s brain development, emotions, and social interactions. Experts recommend that discipline training for children, especially young children, should be a positive activity and help children build self-esteem. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Avoid deterrence to discipline
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Arrange furniture in the house to avoid having to deter children when they are hyperactive. You can create a safe environment for yourself and your child so that you don’t have to deter your child, but only do so when needed. By rearranging the furniture in your home so that it is safe and suitable for children, you will avoid making too many rules or saying “no” too many times throughout the day.
- Use child safety devices to close cabinets.
- Close the door to rooms that are not safe for children without adult supervision.
- Use child safety fences or gates to block dangerous places like stairs. [2] X Research Source
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Prepare lots of toys for children. Young children love to have fun and that is also important for their healthy development. You don’t have to buy expensive toys because your child can have fun with cardboard boxes, cheap toys, or pots and pans. Sometimes the simplest things can spark a child’s imagination so if you can’t afford expensive toys, don’t feel guilty. [3] X Research Sources
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Bring toys and snacks with you when you take your child out. Children may not listen when hungry or bored. Therefore, always carry toys that your child likes and delicious, healthy snacks. [4] X Research Sources
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Talk to your child to come up with age-appropriate rules. 4-year-olds will often like to be the active participants in creating the rules. Take the time to talk with your child to come up with the right rules. This will help your child understand your expectations. Because children participate in making rules, they will follow and you can help them learn to control themselves. [5] X Research Sources
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Choose your rules carefully but don’t make too many rules. Children this age will feel pressured if they have to remember too many rules. Children will ignore those rules if they see a lot or become angry and show it every time they have to follow the rules.
- Talk to your babysitter so they know the rules you and your child have made. [6] X Research Sources
Practice discipline in a positive way
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Do not use punishment – especially corporal punishment. In the past, it was common to apply punishment when children disobeyed. Early Childhood Education Specialist – brain scientist, education expert and psychologist agree that today’s punishment is not the best way for children to learn how to change habits accordingly . Children grow up healthy and happy when they are disciplined in a positive way. [7] X Research Sources
- Scientific evidence that corporal punishment such as spanking or hitting children, including young children, is found to be ineffective and produces negative effects. A reliable source of scientific research shows that spanking or other form of spanking can change a child’s brain development, lead to mood disturbances later in life, and prevent children from learning to control themselves. control your own behavior. [8] X Research Sources
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Find out why the child is disobedient. Young children are not good when hungry, bored or tired. Or the child doesn’t understand the rules you set. In addition, children also misbehave when they are confused or because they don’t want to stop doing something.
- If your child questions your rule, it’s a sign that he doesn’t understand what you expect. Take the time to help your child understand what you want from them. Use clear and simple language, and be ready to repeat information now or later.
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Become flexible. You need to be flexible and patient with 4-year-olds. It is normal for children of this age not to follow the rules. When children make mistakes, the best strategy is to sympathize instead of becoming angry. When mistakes happen, turn it into a learning opportunity for you and your child. Explain to your child the lesson from the mistake and why it’s important to follow the rules. [9] X Research Source
- Be understanding and respectful when children make mistakes. Children this age can’t do everything perfectly yet. They are learning about rules and how to follow them, but making mistakes is normal and an important part of the learning process. [10] X Research Source
- If your child makes a mistake – for example, waking up a sleeping person in the room even though you have made it clear to let him or her sleep after coming home late from work – understand that your child can’t quite follow through with everything yet. perfect. Feelings for loved ones will probably overwhelm compliance at this age. Patiently talking to your child is the best approach. [11] X Research Source
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Apply the rules strictly. If you allow your child to do something one day but forbid it the next day, the child will be confused. This confusion will lead to behavior that you consider inappropriate, but that is just the child’s reaction to not having a clear understanding of the situation.
- If you decide after the school snack your child will only eat more fruit or vegetables, you must explain why you gave him candy in the past and take the change seriously. Otherwise, it will confuse the child.
- A 4-year-old who is confused with the rules will ignore them. Remember that this is not the child’s fault. It is important that you and your child take it seriously so that your child understands what adults expect from them. [12] X Research Source
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Share stories about rules and habits. 4-year-olds love stories and, importantly, through stories they learn about themselves, others, and the world around them. Reading stories helps children deal with their own feelings and helps them know that others have had similar experiences. Sharing stories with young children can help them feel that adults understand their feelings.
- The classic children’s book about rules is “Where The Wild Things Are” by Maurice Sendak. The main character, Max, breaks the rules in this book. Children will enjoy discussing the story and bringing Max’s situation into real life experience. [13] X Research Source[14] X Research Source
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Teach children to change their behavior. When you need interventions to help your child change behavior, start by giving them time to respond. Your voice should be calm and firm, and you should approach your child, at the back, so you can make eye contact with him. Then, let your child know what to stop and what to do instead. [15] X Research Source
- If your child needs to stop doing something he loves, make sure you give him time to prepare for the change. For example, let your child know there are 5 minutes left until bedtime to give them time to transition.
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Offer age-appropriate “consequences”. The most effective way to apply consequences is to combine reasons or explanations for children to understand and relate their actions to consequences. However, that is still not enough. The application of consequences must be consistent and consistent in order to be effective in changing the child’s behavior. [16] X Research Source
- “Pause time” or “punishment chair” is a popular way to help children understand the consequences and to calm them down when misbehaving.
- Choose 4 or 5 rules that if violated, the child will have to sit still for “pause time” or sit in the “penalty seat”. Make sure your child understands which rule will lead to a pause.
- Whenever your child breaks a rule, ask the child – calmly and gently – to go to the pause area.
- Experts recommend no more than one minute of pause per year per year (for example, up to 4 minutes a year for 4-year-olds).
- When the pause is over, praise the child for successfully making it through the pause. [17] X Research Source
- Another “consequence” that some parents use is to take an object or stop an activity related to the child’s misbehavior. You can temporarily take things away or stop an activity and move on to something else. [18] X Research Sources
- If you choose to apply consequences, do so as soon as the child misbehaves. 4-year-old children are not yet aware of the consequences related to their behavior. [19] X Research Source
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Give positive feedback about your child’s good deeds. When your child cooperates, remember to always offer praise for it. All children, especially young children, enjoy being praised. This helps children become confident and is also a positive way to help children change behavior. [20] X Research Sources
Warning
- When babysitting, don’t hit the child. Ask the parent or caregiver how they would like you to practice discipline in your child.
- Never hit or spank a child. There is a large evidence that discipline training with violent methods will have a negative and ineffective effect. Hitting or spanking a child’s bottom can cause severe physical and emotional harm.
- Don’t try to discipline babies. Do not shake or hit the child. When your baby cries, he wants adult attention, so get close and see what you can do to make him feel more comfortable.
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This article was co-written by Wits End Parenting. Wits End Parenting is a parenting company based in Berkeley, California that works with children with mood swings, emotional difficulties, listening difficulties, and aggressive attitudes. Wits End Parenting experts use a positive discipline that is tailored to each child’s personality, providing lasting results, eliminating the need to devise new strategies for educating parents. their children.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 40,057 times.
Parents and caregivers of young children will have many questions about how best to help children practice discipline. “Discipline” is different from “punishment” – discipline training for young children includes a variety of activities related to a child’s developmental stage and helps children think for themselves and actively change habits. Today, we know more about children’s brain development, emotions, and social interactions. Experts recommend that discipline training for children, especially young children, should be a positive activity and help children build self-esteem. [1] X Research Source
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