How to politely decline an invitation

While you may be happy to be invited out, there are times when you want to decline the invitation. You’ll need to politely decline so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings. With a few simple steps, you can politely decline an offer.

Table of Contents

Behave politely

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Thank you to the invitee. Remember that the other person was very brave when he asked you out. If you truly appreciate the invitation, thanking them will soften the rejection.

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Praise that person. Be kind and give them positive feedback before you say no. You should be specific about what you like or appreciate about them. ^{[1] X Sources of Research} Here are a few examples of compliments you can use:

“It would be fun to hang out with you, but…”
“You have been such a great friend all these months, but…”
“You are so thoughtful and kind when you think of me, but…”

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Pay attention to your body language. You may speak clearly and assertively, but your body language can send unintentional or confusing messages. Don’t stay away from your opponent, but don’t lean towards them either. Don’t cross your arms over your chest, make eye contact and smile gracefully. This is an awkward situation, but let your body language relax — don’t clench your teeth, frown, or purse your lips, as this will make you look scowling and annoyed.

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Avoid rumours. Perhaps you find it funny that your partner has asked you out or wants to talk about it with close friends. Do not spread information about the person who invited you. Respect their feelings and remember that they were brave when they invited you. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If they invite you via message, don’t save the message or show it to anyone else. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
If they invite you via social media, don’t screenshot the message and show it to others. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Refuse

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Be honest. You should say the real reason why you refused. You don’t have to be too direct or outspoken, but make it clear why you’re not interested. Avoid making vague excuses or telling an obvious lie. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If you get a second or third date from someone you don’t like, say, “I had fun hanging out with you the first time, but I don’t have feelings for you.” This is easier to hear than “I don’t like you”. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
If you’re invited by a friend and want to stay friends, say, “I appreciate our friendship and am happy to have you, but I don’t think we’ll ever be a couple and want to keep it going. Friend”.
If you’re invited by someone new at school or work when they don’t know you already have a boyfriend, you can say, “I really appreciate the invitation and am glad to know you, but I already have a boyfriend.” Already”.

Christina Jay, NLP

Love consultant

Christina Jay is a matchmaker and life coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her company dedicated to finding love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through the Canadian NLP Training Program and holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Brock University.

Christina Jay, NLP
Love consultant

Expert opinion: If someone asks you out, say “Thank you for the invitation, but I’m not ready to date right now.” If you know your partner and are ready to date, but you don’t want to hang out with them, you can say, “Thank you, but I really appreciate our friendship, and I don’t want to change our relationship.” current state.”

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Avoid being a pleaser. It’s okay to want to avoid uncomfortable or embarrassing feelings, but don’t “yes” just to make the other person feel better. If you then refuse, they will find it difficult to understand. Don’t fool anyone. ^{[7] X Research Sources} When you say “no,” you should:

Briefly. You have the right to say “no” without giving any explanation. ^{[8] X Research Sources}
Avoid apologizing too much. You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. You have the right to express your feelings honestly. ^{[9] X Research Source}
Be steadfast. Repeat “no” if your message is not delivered or if the other party is trying to convince you to change your mind. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Please respond promptly. Don’t delay answering after someone asks you out. Avoid ignoring or avoiding them altogether, as that is disrespectful to them and not something you want to happen to you. Please answer as quickly as possible. ^{[11] X Research Source}

If you really need time to think about an answer because the situation is complicated, be frank and say that you need time to think.
For example, if you like the person who asked you out, but he used to date a friend of yours, you might want to avoid saying “no” right away. Instead, you could say, “I’m not sure. I like you and I thought it would be fun to hang out with you, but you used to date my friends. I need to talk to her before I can answer you. ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Be polite. Show that you’re polite by saying no so they feel heard and respected. You will prove to be a kind person if you respond to them in a mature way.

Choose a suitable place to say no. For example, if she directly asks you out in front of other people, you should avoid turning her down right away. You might say, “Thank you so much! Why don’t we go out for coffee or go for a walk to talk about this?”
Choose a communication method. If the other person invites you by text, email, or social media, you can politely reply, or give them a call. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Handling the opponent’s reaction

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Show empathy. Be empathetic and think about other people’s feelings. You should take the time to listen and acknowledge their reaction. Let them know that you understand their hurt and appreciate their feelings. ^{[14] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

You could say, “I know you’re feeling sad and upset right now. Thank you for inviting me out. That takes a lot of courage and I can’t imagine how difficult it is.”
You might ask, “Is there anything you need to feel better? I know it’ll be awkward because we still see each other at school.”

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Suggest an alternative. If you trust or like the person you asked for, but don’t want to date them, there’s another way you can ask them to help. Come up with other options so you can both be friends.

Introduce them to a friend who might be the right match for them. ^{[15] X Research Source} Ask a friend first.
Ask if you can be friends with them, if the two of you aren’t friends yet.
Offer more time if you’re unsure of your decision or can’t agree to a date right now, but you’d love to hang out with them in the future.
Suggest getting to know the person more privately if you don’t know the other person well, but want to get to know them better before officially dating.

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Keep safe. You should be wary of people who try to force you out or don’t accept your refusal. Watch for angry reactions or vulgar language. If something worries, offends, or upsets you when you reject them, you can ensure your safety by: ^{[16] X Research Source}

Tell someone your location, if you’re alone with them.
Leave the place immediately and go to a crowded place.
Block them on social networking apps or dating sites where you talk to them.
Do not answer their phone, email, or text messages.
Do not be alone with them for the time being.

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Deal with feelings of guilt. Even if you kindly say no, the other person may not accept it easily and react very negatively. This can make you feel guilty — should you agree, just to be nice? — or maybe the other person is intentionally blaming you, but you don’t need to feel sad or guilty about being honest and honest with your feelings and thoughts. You cannot force yourself to feel a certain way. If you can’t connect with that person on a romantic level, you can’t dictate or deceive yourself into feeling that connection. Their reactions are their own, and if they misbehave, you are not responsible for it.

Advice

If, after taking these steps, the person starts behaving rudely or attacking you, it’s best to stay away from them.
If you don’t like them, it’s best to be polite, but be careful at the same time. If you’re too friendly, they may take it as a hopeful signal that you’ll change your mind.
Perhaps the person’s feelings are still hurt, even if you are kind and polite to say no. Rejection is not something that everyone can easily handle.
Some people have a hard time accepting “no,” even if it’s a polite refusal.

Steps

Behave politely

Refuse

Handling the opponent’s reaction

Advice

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