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This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 3,948 times.
Breaking up is always a painful experience, and if two people still have feelings for each other, it can be even harder to get over it. Unfortunately, people sometimes have to break up due to reasons such as long distance, difficult communication conditions, trust issues, or lack of a shared vision for the future. Although you may be confused right now, in time you will get better. Since you both still love each other, you might even find a way to be friends with your ex one day.
Steps
Give each other space for a while.
- Try not to go to places where you know your ex used to go. You should also unfriend or unfollow each other on social media.
- If one or both of you have decided it’s best to break up, keeping your distance will help avoid the temptation to get back together or see each other one last time – it will only take up more time. .
- Time away from each other will help both of you look back on your feelings and know what you want if you are still wondering whether to break up or not.
Take a few days to allow yourself to grieve.
- Sometimes you need a break during a breakup. Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you need to cut back on your study or work hours. [1] X Research Source
- After a few days, gradually return to your daily routine. You may still be sad, but you have to start moving forward to gradually calm down.
- Don’t fill your sadness with things like drugs, alcohol, unhealthy food, or jump into a new love to replace the old one. Not only will these methods not help you feel less grieving, but in the long run, it will make it difficult for you to get up and move on.
Take care of yourself.
- Do things that make you feel relaxed and comfortable – get a massage, take a bath, or invite friends for dinner at your favorite restaurant.
- Try saying out loud positive affirmations about yourself like, “I love myself and I have everything I need.”
- Being outdoors in nature is also a great way to boost your mood, so try going for a walk, hike, or picnic. [3] X Research Sources
- Remember that just because you still care about your ex doesn’t mean you have to stop taking care of yourself!
Chat with the people you love.
- If you’re afraid to confide in others about your problems, try venting them in a journal. This is a way for you to release your emotions privately.
- If you don’t know who to talk to, try consulting a psychologist.
Keep yourself busy.
- When everything is fine, feel free to open up to dates. Even if you’re not ready to start a serious relationship, it helps to step out and see what’s new.
Look at the advantages of being single.
- Eat whatever you like
- Go to bed and wake up at any time according to your own schedule
- Freely watch your favorite movies and TV shows
- Walk freely
- Meet friends and family whenever you want
- Tidy or messy as you like
Learn lessons from the breakup.
- Try to put yourself in your ex’s shoes – what do you think they want from you? For example, if you have difficulty communicating, it is possible that you are not responding to the other person’s need to be heard.
- If the issue is something you can’t compromise – like, for example, one person wants children and the other doesn’t, or one thinks money and status are important and the other only values time. family time – keep this lesson in mind to choose the right person to be your future life partner.
- Try reading self-help books, listen to podcasts about recovering from a breakup, or see a psychologist. These ways can all help you understand more about what you can learn from an old relationship.
Know your own strengths.
- For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life,” replace it with something like, “I’m funny and smart. One day I will find the right lover.”
- If needed, you can make a list of your best qualities and read them whenever you feel less confident.
Set aside some time each day to be sad.
- This way, you’ll still allow yourself to let your emotions out, but don’t let it stop you from working, raising kids, or doing your other responsibilities.
Learn to be friends again when everything is fine.
- However, don’t expect to be friends with them. If you can’t be together as a couple, maybe it’s better to keep your distance.
Consider reconnecting if circumstances change.
- For example, if you’re breaking up because one of you wants to have children and the other doesn’t, you should only come back when one of you changes your mind.
- If you break up because your ex doesn’t want to be tied down, they’ll have to prove that they’re ready for a serious relationship.
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 3,948 times.
Breaking up is always a painful experience, and if two people still have feelings for each other, it can be even harder to get over it. Unfortunately, people sometimes have to break up due to reasons such as long distance, difficult communication conditions, trust issues, or lack of a shared vision for the future. Although you may be confused right now, in time you will get better. Since you both still love each other, you might even find a way to be friends with your ex one day.
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