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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
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The fear of death affects millions of people around the world. For some people this condition causes anxiety aversion and/or obsessive thoughts. [1] X Research Sources Fear of death is a general fear of death and/or a fear of one’s own death, not unlike a fear of the dead or anything dead. However, both fears have similarities with the fear of strange or mysterious things related to death. If understood from another angle, the fear of death is the fear of confronting something completely unfamiliar. [2] X Source of Research This is especially true for people who are near death, as the mysteries surrounding them grow more and more as the danger of death becomes more and more obvious to them. [3] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to the Source To feel more comfortable with the end of life, you need to learn about this phobia and learn to overcome it.
Steps
Understanding Your Fears
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Write down times when you think about death. To deal with the fear of death, the first thing you need to do is determine how and to what extent it affects your life. Normally, we rarely immediately recognize the triggers or causes of fear or anxiety. So writing about situations that give rise to fear can be a useful tool to overcome this problem. [4] X Research Sources
- Start by asking yourself, “What was going on at the time you started to feel scared?”. For some reason, at first glance this is a very difficult question to answer. Let’s start with the basics. Recall the past few days and write down every detail you can remember about the times when thoughts of death occurred. List exactly what you were doing when the thought occurred to you.
- Fear of death is very common. Throughout human history, people have always been concerned and concerned with the thought of death and the dying stage. There are many reasons for this, including age, religion, level of anxiety, experience of loss and so on. dead than other times. Fear of death often appears in people’s minds when they are between the ages of 4-6, 10-12, 17-24 and 35-55. [5] X Sources Scholars have long philosophized the prospect of death. According to Jean-Paul Sartre, an existentialist philosopher, the reason that death becomes a human fear is because death is a state that “come to us from without and transforms us into the world.” outside there”. [6] X Sartre Research Source , Jean-Paul. Being and Nothingness. trans. Hazel Barnes. New York: Philosophical Library, 1956, p. 545. So the process of dying is seen by us as a completely alien but conceivable (or in some sense inconceivable) aspect. According to Sartre, death has the potential to transform our living bodies into the non-human realm where we first appear.
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Make notes about a time when you felt anxious or scared. Next, write down any time you remember you decided not to do something out of anxiety or fear. You also write about cases where you are not sure if your emotions have anything to do with death.
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Compare anxiety with thoughts about death. Once you’ve finished writing a list of times to think about death and times of anxiety, look for similarities between the two lists. For example, you may find that every time you see a certain brand of candy, you immediately feel a little nervous, but don’t know why. Then you find yourself thinking about death in similar situations. At this point, you suddenly realize that this is the candy brand that was given to guests at your grandfather’s funeral. That’s why you start to feel fear every time you think about death in general.
- Such connections between things, emotions, and situations are quite faint, sometimes even more subtle than in the case just mentioned. As you write, you begin to become more aware of situations, and then better respond to the influence these moments have on your thoughts.
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Identify the link between anxiety and anticipation. Fear is very powerful and can influence everything you do. If you can look beyond that fear, you will see that what you are afraid of is not as terrible as you think. Anxiety mainly stems from presuppositions about what will or will not happen. That is the feeling when you look to the future. You must remind yourself that the fear of death is sometimes worse than death itself. Who knows, maybe death isn’t as unpleasant as you imagine. [7] X Research Sources
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Be honest with yourself. Be completely honest and face the fact that one day you will die. That fear will eat away at you as long as you are not honest with yourself. Life becomes much more precious when one realizes its transience. You know you will face death at some point, but you don’t have to live in fear. Once you’re honest with yourself and you’re ready to face your fear head-on, you can move beyond it.
Letting Go of What You Can’t Control
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Focus on what can be controlled. The reason why death is so scary in our minds is because it suggests the tipping point of life, and the boundary in human cognitive ability. You need to learn to focus on the controllable, while not straying away from the unattainable.
- For example, you may be worried about the possibility of sudden death from a heart attack. There are some factors you cannot control for heart disease, such as family history, race, and age. So you only make yourself more anxious if you focus on these factors all the time. It’s better to think about what you can control, such as quitting smoking, exercising more regularly, or eating healthy. In fact, compared to uncontrollable factors, an unhealthy lifestyle puts you at a higher risk of heart disease. [8] X Research Sources
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Life orientation. When we want to orient our lives, we often have to deal with frustration, frustration, and anxiety because things don’t go according to plan. Therefore, you should learn to let go of control over the results to be achieved in life. Of course you can still plan to navigate your life, but remember to leave some room for the unexpected. [9] X Research Source
- Think of water flowing in a river. Sometimes the river bank changes direction and the water has to slow down or speed up accordingly. But in the end the river still flows, and you are forced to let things go out of your control.
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Eliminate negative interpolation. When trying to guess or imagine the future, you often ask yourself, “What if this happened?”. This is negative thinking. [10] X Research Source It’s easy to feel pessimistic if you think about situations this way. The way we interpret an event leads to how we feel about it. For example, if you’re worried about being late for work, it’s common to tell yourself, “If I’m late for work, my boss will criticize me and I’ll lose my job.” If the feeling of wanting to control the outcome is too strong, it is negative thinking that will put you on a thin line.
- Replace negative thinking patterns with positive ones. Argumentation overcomes pessimistic thinking. For example, say to yourself: “My boss might get mad if I’m late for work, but I can explain it because of the traffic. I’ll say I’ll stay at work later to make up for the delay.”
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Spend some time worrying. Take five minutes out of your day to allow yourself to worry about something, and do this every day at the same time. But you shouldn’t schedule worrying time at bedtime, because of course you don’t want to nibble on bad things while you’re resting. If you have an anxious thought at any time of the day, you should also save it for this time. [11] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Challenging anxious thoughts. If you are always anxious about death, try asking yourself about the probability of dying in a given situation. For example, educate yourself about the statistics of fatal crashes in airplanes. Then you’ll find that your anxiety is overblown. [12] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Think about the influence others have on you. When other people’s worries start to take over your mind, you also think more about the risks that come your way. For example, you have a friend who is very pessimistic about illness and disease, which also slowly makes you worry about getting sick. So you should limit contact with that person so that such thoughts do not often appear in your mind. [13] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Try doing something you’ve never done before. We often avoid doing new things or don’t put ourselves in new situations because of our fear of not knowing or not being able to understand. [14] X Research Source Knaus, DWJ, & Carlson, JPE (2014). The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-By-Step Program (Second Edition edition). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. To practice breaking the habit of controlling, you choose for yourself an activity you never thought you would do and resolve to try. Start by researching information online. Next you should talk to people who have participated in this activity before. Once you’ve gotten more used to the idea, consider trying it once or twice before committing to it long-term.
- Experimenting with life by engaging in new activities can be a great tool to learn how to create joy, combat the habit of thinking about death.
- These new activities also help you get to know yourself better, especially what you can and can’t do.
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Plan for the end of life with family and friends. When it comes to death you will find that most of the process is out of your control. We have no way of knowing exactly where or when we will die, but we can prepare for it. [15] X Research Source
- For example, if you are in a coma, how long do you want the machine to keep you alive? Would you rather die at home or try to stay in the hospital as long as possible?
- Such matters are difficult to discuss with your loved one at first, but it is actually very beneficial for both you and them if unfortunately this event occurs, and then you are unable to express your wishes. his want. This discussion will help ease your anxiety about death somewhat.
Reflecting on Life
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Why are life and death part of the same cycle? You should understand that your life and death, like all other living things, are part of the same cycle. Instead of being two completely different events, life and death actually always happen at the same time. For example, cells in our bodies continuously multiply and die in different ways throughout our lives. This is how your body adapts and thrives in the world around you. [16] X Research Sources Edelman, G. (1987). Neural Darwinism: The Theory Of Neuronal Group Selection (New edition edition). New York: Basic Books.
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Why is the human body part of a complex ecosystem? The body serves as a fertile ecosystem for a multitude of different life forms, especially after we pass away. [17] X Research Sources While alive, our digestive system is home to millions of microorganisms. They all help to keep the body healthy to support immune function, and in a way help with complex cognitive processes. [18] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to Source
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Understand the role of the body in the totality of things. On a larger whole, our lives come together in a particular way to form societies and communities, whose energies and bodily actions sustain the organization. that society. [19] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to Source
- Your life consists of the same operating mechanism and amount of matter as other life around. Understanding this point helps you feel more comfortable thinking about a world where you are not. [20] X Research Source Hanh, TN (2003). No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life (Reissue edition). New York: Riverhead.
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Spend time in harmony with nature. Meditate on a walk in nature, or simply spend more time in contact with other life forms outside. Such activities help you to realize that you are part of a larger world. [21] X Research Resources Thoreau, HD, & MacMechan, A. (nd). Walking.
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Think about life after death. You think that after you die you will go somewhere happy, actually many religions believe in this. If you are a religious person, you may find comfort in thinking about your religious beliefs about life after death.
Enjoy life
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Live life to the fullest . The final conclusion is that you should avoid thinking too much about death. Instead, you should find a lot of fun every day, and don’t let the little things get you down. Hang out with friends and try new sports. All in all, you can do anything to move your thoughts away from death and focus on life.
- Many people with a fear of death think about this every day, which means they have a lot of work to do in life. Let the fear pass and ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that will happen today?”. You’re still alive today, so go ahead and live your life.
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Make time for your loved one. Being with the people you love and living with the people who love you, on the contrary, is a wonderful time that you will never forget.
- For example, you can rest easy knowing that your memories will live on long after you die if you can help your children and grandchildren build happy memories of you while you are alive.
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Write a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is a place for you to write down and acknowledge what others have done for you. Besides, it helps you focus on the good things in life. [22] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source You should think more about good deeds and cherish them.
- Take a little time every few days to write about a moment or event for which you feel grateful. You have to write deeply and feel the joy it brings.
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Take care of yourself. Avoid getting yourself into bad situations or doing things that endanger your life. Do not engage in unhealthy activities such as smoking, abusing drugs and alcohol, driving while texting. Living a healthy life is a way to reduce the risk of death.
Find Support
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You should consider whether you need help from a psychiatrist. If your fear of death is so great that it interferes with your daily activities and prevents you from enjoying life, it’s best to seek help from a psychiatrist. For example, if you are starting to avoid participating in an activity because of fear of death, it may be time to seek help. [23] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source Other signs that you need help are:
- Feeling helpless, bewildered, or depressed because of the fear of death
- Can’t explain my fear
- Constantly feeling fear of death for longer than 6 months
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What can a psychiatrist do for you? They help you better understand your fear of death, and find ways to minimize and try to overcome it. Remember, dealing with subconscious phobias takes time and effort. It may take some patience before you get your fear under control, but some people progress very quickly after just 8-10 treatments. Strategies commonly used by therapists are: [24] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy : If you have a fear of death, it is possible that some of your thought processes are causing the increase in fear. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a method that forces you to confront these thoughts and find the emotions associated with them. For example, say to yourself, “I don’t dare to fly because I’m afraid I will die if the plane crashes.” Professionals must take steps to help you realize this thinking is not realistic, perhaps by explaining that flying is actually safer than riding a car. Then they go on to challenge you to edit this thinking yourself to make it more realistic, such as “People take a plane every day and they are fine. I’m sure I’m fine too.” [25] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- Exposure Therapy : Fear of death makes you want to avoid certain situations, activities, or places that give rise to fear. Exposure therapy forces you to confront that fear directly. During treatment, either the specialist will ask you to imagine yourself in a situation you would like to avoid, or the other will ask you to actually put yourself in the situation. For example, if you are avoiding flying out of fear of a plane crash, they will ask you to imagine yourself on a plane and describe how you felt. Then they continue to pose a new challenge that requires you to take a real plane. [26] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Medication : If the fear of death is too great and the anxiety is really severe, your therapist may suggest that you see a psychiatrist for a prescription for medication. However, you need to know that fear-related anxiety medications only work temporarily, they cannot eliminate the root cause. [27] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
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Share thoughts about death and fear of death with others. It’s always good to share fears or anxieties with others, and oftentimes they also talk about their own concerns. They can suggest some methods for combating that stress. [28] X Research Source Shaver, PR (2012). Meaning, Mortality, and Choice: The Social Psychpogy of Existential Concerns. (M. Mikulincer, Ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychical Association.
- Therefore, you should find a close friend to share your thoughts and feelings about death, as well as when you began to feel that way.
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If in the US then you should visit the death cafe. Issues related to death and the fear of death are often difficult to discuss without meeting the right people. Therefore, you need to find yourself a suitable group of friends to share this issue with. [29] X Research Sources There are several “death cafes” where people meet to discuss issues surrounding death. These are actually support groups geared toward helping others deal with their feelings about death. Together they determine the best way to live in the process of facing the end of life.
- If you can’t find such a cafe, you can build one yourself with this idea. Many times there are many people in your area who have similar concerns, but they do not have the opportunity to share with others.
Advice
- The fear of death is sometimes the result of depression and anxiety, which requires professional treatment. [30] X Research Source
- You should not be afraid to try treatment with multiple counselors. You need to find someone who can be more supportive of your particular problem and help you figure out how to deal with it.
- Build a firm belief that you can overcome your fear of death.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 26 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 33,082 times.
The fear of death affects millions of people around the world. For some people this condition causes anxiety aversion and/or obsessive thoughts. [1] X Research Sources Fear of death is a general fear of death and/or a fear of one’s own death, not unlike a fear of the dead or anything dead. However, both fears have similarities with the fear of strange or mysterious things related to death. If understood from another angle, the fear of death is the fear of confronting something completely unfamiliar. [2] X Source of Research This is especially true for people who are near death, as the mysteries surrounding them grow more and more as the danger of death becomes more and more obvious to them. [3] X Trusted Source International DOI Foundation (IDF) Go to the Source To feel more comfortable with the end of life, you need to learn about this phobia and learn to overcome it.
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